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Come on and join the


Mulderism

Scullyism

Here are a few samples of my favourite mulderisms & scullyisms, some of them are even available in sound!

Listen to the tiel music.

SEASON #1

THE X-FILES
Mulder: Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.

Mulder: Oh, isn't it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded.

Mulder: I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me.

Mulder: You gotta love this place, every day's like Halloween.

        (They coffin they lifted out of the grave rolled down the hill
         and cracked open. Mulder opens it and looks at a very small
         corpse)
Mulder: It's probably a safe bet Ray Salms never made the Varsity
        Basketball team.

Scully: The answers are there you just have to know where to look for
        them.
Mulder: That's why they put the "I" in FBI.

Mulder: Yeah, our boys came out here, enjoyed the local salmon, which
        with a little lemon twist is to die for... if you'll pardon
        the expression.

Mulder: I arranged to have the body exhumed.  You aren't squeamish
        about that sort of thing, are you Scully?
Scully: I don't know, I've never had the pleasure.

        (Knock on the door)
Scully: Who is it?
Mulder: Steven Speilberg.

Mulder: We lost nine minutes!
Scully: We lost *WHAT*?

Scully: You're saying that time disappeared.  Time can't just
        disappear. It's a universal invariant! (Dead car starts
        itself)
Mulder: Not in this zip code.

        (Scully's and Mulder's hotel is burning to the ground with all
         of their evidence inside)
Scully: There goes my computer.

DEEP THROAT
Scully: Mulder, did you see their eyes?  If I were that stoned --
Mulder: OOH!  If you were that stoned *what*?

Mulder: Tell me I'm crazy.
Scully: Mulder.  You're crazy.

Mulder: If we ignore them, do you think they'll go away?

SPACE
Mulder: ...to deny us evidence
Scully: Evidence of what?
Mulder: Alien civilization
Scully: Oh, of course.

Mulder: Didn't you ever want to be an astronaut when you were growing
        up?
Scully: I must have missed that phase.

Mulder: You have to admit, that was exciting.  Mission Control and
        all.
Scully: Yeah, ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning
        to braid my own hair.

Scully: It's an oxygen leak. Even *I* can figure out what happens if
        they run out of oxygen.

SQUEEZE
Cultin: So Mulder, what do you think? Does this look like the work of
        little green men?
Mulder: Grey.
Cultin: Excuse me?
Mulder: Grey. You said green men. The reticulant skin tone is actually
        grey. They're notorious for there extraction of terrestrial
        human livers. Due to iron depletion in the Reticulan galaxy.
Cultin: You can't be serious?
Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for in Reticula?

Scully: Oh, God, Mulder. It smells like... I think it's bile.
Mulder: Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without
        betraying my cool exterior?

        (Mulder speaking to Scully)
Mulder: Do you find me spooky?

Mulder: I have a reputation?

Scully: That's why Belvins has you hidden away down here.
Mulder: You're down here, too.

MIRACLE MAN
Mulder: That girl...
Scully: Who?  Jessica Hawn?

        (Scully passes the collection plate)
Scully: Apparently miracles don't come cheap.



        (Scully is rinsing a lung off in the sink)
Scully: Mulder, take a look at this.
Mulder: Do I have to?



Scully: You've got that look on your face, Mulder.
Mulder: What look is that?
Scully: The kind where when you've forgotten your keys and you're
        trying to figure out how to get back in the house.



Mulder: Remember the boy did rise from the dead.  That kind of thing
        happens only once or twice every 2000 years or so.

FALLEN ANGEL
        (Inside Mulder's trashed hotel room)
Scully: What's going on?
Mulder: Looks like housekeeping hasn't been here yet.

Deep Throat: Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.

EVE
Mulder: And one of these girls was just abducted.
Scully: Kidnapped.
Mulder: Pa-tay-toe, puh-tah-toe.

Eve 6: I paid too much attention to a guard. Bit into his eyeball. I
       meant it as a sign of affection.

Eve 6:  This replication of chromosomes also produces additional
        genes.
        Heightened strength, heightened intelligence...
Mulder: Heightened psychosis.
Eve 6:  You saved the best for last.

Mulder:  Back off, I'm a Federal Agent.
Trucker: Yeah, and these are America's Most Wanted?
Woman:   I'll call the police.
Scully:  We are the police!

JERSEY DEVIL
Scully: Working hard, Mulder?
Mulder: (indicating to centerfold) This woman claims to have been
         taken aboard a space ship and held in an anti-gravity chamber
         without food and water for three days.
Scully: (Looking sideways at magazine) Antigravity's right.

Scully's friend: What about that guy you work with? You said he was
                 kinda cute.
Scully:          Mulder? He's a jerk. Well, he's not a jerk. He's...
                 obsessed with his work.

Scully: I have a date.
Mulder: Can you cancel?
Scully: Unlike you Mulder, I would like to have a life.
Mulder: I have a life!

Mulder: Don't you have a life Scully?
Scully: Keep it up Mulder and I'll hurt you like that beast-woman.

Mulder: (walking to the door) What are you doing, Scully?
Scully: Going with you to the Smithsonian.
Mulder: Don't you have a life, Scully?
Scully: Keep that up, Mulder, and I'll hurt you like that beast woman
        did.
Mulder: 8 million years out of Africa...
Scully: (holding door open for him)...and look who's holding the door.

SHADOWS
Mulder: Hey Scully, do you believe in an afterlife?
Scully: I'd settle for a life in this one.
 
MIB:    If any inquiry is made about this meeting, we request full
        denial.
Mulder: I'd say you people already suffer from full denial.

Mulder: You may be right.
Scully: Wait.  You think *I'm* right?

Mulder: Do you realize how hard it is to fake your own death? Only one
        person has pulled it off, Elvis.

Mulder: I would never lie; I willfully participate in a campaign of
        misinformation.

Scully: Psychokinesis? You mean how Carrie got to the prom?

GHOST IN THE MACHINE
Scully: So why did you two go your separate ways?
Mulder: I'm a pain in the ass to work with.
Scully: No, seriously.
Mulder: You mean I'm NOT a pain in the ass to work with.

Mulder: Maybe Drake was talking to someone before he doing his Ben
        Franklin impersonation.

ICE
        (As the men start to strip for their physical exam)
Mulder: Now before anyone pass judgement, please keep in mind we're
        in the arctic.

Mulder: San Diego? Do you get much of a chance to study ice down
        there?
Denny:  Just what's around the keg.

FIRE
Scully: Mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower.

Mulder: I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.
Scully: Oh, is that what you were extending.

        (Scully says to Mulder in Phoebe's voice)
Scully: Care to take me to lunch?

Scully: Oh, I forgot what it was like to spend a day in court.
Mulder: That's one of the luxuries of hunting down aliens and genetic
        mutants. You rarely get to press charges.

Mulder: That's weird.  I was sure I locked it
Scully: Must be an X-File.

Mulder: I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.
Scully: Oh, is *that* what you were extending?

Mulder: Dana Scully, this is Phoebe Green.  The terror of Scotland
        Yard.
Scully: Hello.
Phoebe (whispering in Mulder's ear): She hates me.

       (Preparing to torch the house)
Cecil: Time to call 911.

BEYOND THE SEA
Scully: Last time you were that engrossed it turned out you were
        reading the adult video news.

Scully: Mulder, do I detect a since of skepticism.

GENDER BENDER
Scully: There's something up there, Mulder.
Mulder: Well, I've been saying that for years.

Mulder: I know what I saw, Scully. And I saw you about to do the wild
        thing with some stranger.

Scully: So what is our profile of the killer?  "Indeterminate height,
        weight, sex; unarmed, but extremely attractive"?

YOUNG AT HEART
Mulder: That guy in the ugly suite is probably CIA.

Scully: I still don't get it.  What does this have to do with us?
Mulder: Robbing a jewelry store is a federal crime.
Scully: Thank you.

Mulder: I know what I'm not gonna do.  I'm not gonna wait around for
        John Barnett to send me another Valentine.
Scully: You mean the ghost of John Barnett?
Mulder: I didn't know you believed in ghosts Scully.

Mulder: How you feeling?
Scully: First time I've ever played the target.
Mulder: Let's make sure it's not the last.

Scully: Mulder, I know what you did wasn't by the book.
Mulder: Tells you a lot about the book, doesn't it.

E.B.E.


Scully: Those lights the driver saw may... have been swamp gas.
Mulder: Swamp Gas?
Scully: It's a natural phenomenon in which phosphene and methane
        rising from decaying organic matter ignite, creating globes
        of blue flame.
Mulder: Happens to me when I eat Dodger Dogs.



Langley: Is this your skeptical partner?
Frohike: She's hot.
LGG #1:  You don't believe that the CIA, threatened by a loss of power
         and funding, because of the collapse of the cold war,
         wouldn't dream of having the old enemy back?
Scully:  I think you give the government too much credit. I mean, the
         government can't control the deficit or manage crime, what
         makes you think they can plan and execute such an elaborate
         conspiracy?
Frohike: She *is* hot.

Scully: The truth is out there, but so are lies.



Scully: Those are the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't
        know how you could think what they say is remotely plausible.
Mulder: I think its remotely plausible that someone might think you're
        hot.

Mulder: Some of their ideas are down-right *spooky*.

Byers:  Vladamir Cherernofski, the leader of the Russian Social
        Democrats, is being put into power by the most heinous and
        evil force of the twentieth century.
Mulder: Barney?



Byers: That's why we like you Mulder, your ideas are weirder than
       ours.



Mulder: I tied up an air phone for three hours.  I don't speak
        Japanese, but I think some businessman told me to stick a
        piece of sushi where the sun don't shine.

SHAPES
Scully: Well, looks like nothing unexplainable here.
Mulder: (holding up a large thin layer of skin with tweezers) Nope,
        not a thing.



Ish:    I could smell you a mile away.
Mulder: They told me that even though my deodorant is made for woman
        it is strong enough for man.

DARKNESS FALLS
Scully: Oh, *brain* sucking parasites.

Mulder: I don't think even Bigfoot could choke down that much flannel.

        (Looking at a picture of 30 or so loggers)
Mulder: Rugged manly men in the full bloom of their manhood.
Scully: Right, what am I looking for?
Mulder: Anything unusual, unlikely, unexplainable...boyfriend?



Scully: What kind of insect could have gotten a man all the way up in
        that tree?
Mulder: Itsy Bitsy Spider.

TOOMS


Mulder: Do you think they would have taken me more seriously if I had
        worn the grey suit?

Skinner: You wouldn't be lying to me now, would you Agent Scully?
Scully:  Sir, I expect you to place the same amount of trust in me as
         I do in you.

Scully: Can you determine the cause of death?  My instinct tells me
        that burial in cement is murder.



Mulder: Excuse me, could you help me find my dog. It's a norweigian
        elkhound. It's name is Heinrich, I use him to hunt moose.

BORN AGAIN
Scully: There weren't any ghosts flying around the precinct.

Mulder: Short of growing a mustache what more will it take?

ROLAND


Mulder: How was the wedding?
Scully: You mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit
        the drummer?
Mulder: Did you catch the bouquet?
Scully: Maybe.

Mulder: There is definitely something unexplainable here, Scully, but
        not unidentifiable.



Dr. Barrington: Because of the massive internal damage to the body 
                caused by the car accident we could only preserve the
                head.
Scully:         Wouldn't your client find it somehow inconvenient to
                be thawed out in the future only to discover that he
                has no functional mobility?



Mulder: You've got a brother, don't you, Scully?
Scully: Yeah, I have an older one and a younger one.
Mulder: Have you ever thought about calling one of them all day long
        and then all of a suddenly the phone rings and it's one of
        them calling you?
Scully: Does this trace somehow end with a way for me to lower my long
        distance charges?
Mulder: I believe in psychic connections, and evidence suggest that it
        is stronger between family members, strongest of all between
        twin siblings that shared the same room.
Scully: Ok, maybe, but in this case one sibling has closer ties to a
        frozen fudgesicle than he does to his own brother.

LAZARUS
        (In lazarus, after the expert on near death experiences gives
         a long monologue about the pilot who strangled his wife with
          an electric cord)
Mulder: It was a nice story.

Scully: Can't you accept that this isn't an X-File?

Greskin: Mulder says he's got something.
Agent:   What?  An alien virus, or new information on the Kennedy
         assassination?

CONDUIT
Scully:  I just think it's a good idea not to antagonize local law
         enforcement.
Mulder:  Who me?  I'm Mr. Congeniality.
Scully:  You never know, we might need his help one of these days.
Mulder:  I'll send him a bundt cake.

ERLENMEYER FLASK


        (Scully holding up a Erlenmeyer flask full of odd-colored
         liquid)
Scully: OK Mulder, but I'm warning you. If this is monkey pee, you're
        on your own.

Deep Throat: Calling it a night Mr. Mulder?
Mulder:      My mother usually likes me home before the street lights
             come on.

Mulder: There's only one (scientist) who owned a silver sierra and
        went bungee jumping with medical gauze around his neck.



Scully: I should know by now to trust your instincts.
Mulder: Why?  Nobody else does.



MIB:    Your cellular phone has been ringing off the hook.
Mulder: I'm a popular guy.  Why don't you answer it for me.
MIB:    Oh, I don't like talking on the phone.  I have this thing
        about unsecured lines.

SEASON #2


LITTLE GREEN MEN

Student: Are you OK, agent scully? You sounded kinda...spooky.

	(In parking garage)
Mulder: Four dollars for the first hour of parking is criminal. What
        you've got better be worth at least 45 minutes.

Senator: Do you like Bach Mulder?
Mulder:  I live for Bach.

ScullY: So whenever his away i feed his fish.

Scientist: Looks like a wow-signal.

Mulder: No, don't press the red button.

Mulder's Answering Machine: Hello this is Fox Mulder, please leave a message.

HOST
Dmitri: Why is this always my job?
Sailor: Because you are young.  And because it is terrible and smelly
        work.

Mulder: (Steps in sewer) Ugh!
Norman: Watch yourself.
Mulder: Yeah, wouldn't want to _step_ into anything.

Scully: Mind if I sit here?
Mulder: I have to warn you, I'm having violent impulses.
Scully: I'm armed. I'll take my chances.

        (Mulder looks at fluke)
Mulder: How big can this thing get?
Scully: Sorry, for a second there it felt like old times.

Scully:  This was living inside the body.  Apparently, it had attached
         itself to the bile duct and was feeding off the liver.
Mulder:  LOVE-ly.
Scully:  Believe it or not, something like 40 million people are
         infected worldwide.
Mulder:  This isn't where you tell me some terrible story about sushi,
         is it?
Scully:  Maybe you'd rather hear what you can catch from a nice rare
         steak.
Mulder:  So....what?  The murder weapon was a nice rare sirloin?

Scully: ...they are not creatures that go around attacking people.
Mulder: Well, that's good.  I didn't want to have to tell Skinner that
        his murder suspect was a giant bloodsucking worm...
Scully: No...

Scully: Platyhelminthes are often hermaphroditic.  Mulder, this is
        amazing. Its vestigial features appear to be parasitic, but
        it has primate physiology.  Where the hell did it come from?
Mulder: I don't know.  But it looks like I'm gonna have to tell
        Skinner that his suspect is a giant bloodsucking worm after
        all.

Scully: Mulder, Nature didn't make this thing.  We did...

(Mulder's Screen)

[DOCW4.DIR][DOS]    [EISA]         [EPS]     [EXPL]
[INKJET]  [MOUSE]   [OLD.DOS.1]    [FX]      [FONTS]
[SCSI]    [SPARK]   [SPV]          [TPORT]   [VIDEO]
[WINDOWS] [SCRIPT]  AUTO.EXEC      COMM.COM  CONFIG.SYS
DCZ000.SYS FILES    HARDDRV.SYS    INSTAL.EXE MIRROR.BAK
MIRROR.FIL PARIN.EXE  VSCAN.SYS    WIN29.386
UTIL.DIR

               39 FILE(S):365,510 BYTES
                         390,742,016 BYTES FREE

BLOOD
Mulder:  Hey, Frohike! Can I borrow these?
Frohike: If I can have Scully's phone number.

Mulder:  Imagine being one of those flies on the wall of the oval
         office.
Frohike: Been there. Done that.

Frohike: So, Mulder, where's your little partner?
Mulder:  She wouldn't come. She's afraid of her love for you.
Frohike: She's tasty.
Mulder:  You know Frohike, it's men like you that gives perversion a
         bad name.

	 (asking for night vision binoculars)
Mulder:  Hey Frohike. Can I borrow those?
Frohike: If I can have Scully's phone number.

Mulder: He is probably one of those people who think Elvis is dead.

	(looking at broken doorbell)
Scully: This is odd.
Mulder: Frustrated Jehovah's Witness?

SLEEPLESS
Scully: Must be nice not having someone questioning your every move,
	poking holes in all your theories.
Mulder: Oh. Yeah....Yeah, it's great. I'm surprised I put up with you
	for so long.

        (Krycek and Mulder looking at a scar in victims neck)
Krycek: Records show his only surgery was his appendix.
Mulder: Not unless they got his appendix through his neck.

Mr. X: The truth is still out there, is has never been more dangerous.

Scully: I'm going over the reports you faxed me.  They're incredible.
Mulder: The military already sent troops through radioactive mushroom
        clouds. I guess they figured they had to top themselves,
        right?

Mulder: He could need a seasoning in this warddrobe department.

Mulder: Federal agents, drop you weapons!

Mulder: My ideas are usually not very popular.

Krycek: It's a hole new spin on virtual reality.

Smoking Man: Every problem has it's solution.

Krycek: Puts a whole new spin on virtual reality.

DUANE BARRY
Official: Mulder, why are you so paranoid?
Mulder:   It's not paranoia when you're right.
 
Krycek: Calm down, Scully.
Scully: Don't tell me to calm down. I'm not going to calm down until I
	can talk to someone who will listen to what I'm saying.

ASCENSION
Man in Skinner's office: Why are you so paranoid, Mulder?
Mulder:                  Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because I find
                         it hard to trust anybody.

        (Krycek and Mulder are driving in a car and Mulder almost
         falls asleep at the wheel)
Krycek: The US Department of Transportation estimates that over
        190,000 fatal car crashes every year are caused by sleepiness?
Mulder: Did they estimate how many people are put to sleep listening
        to their statistics?

3
Officer (to Mulder) You are really upsetting me... on several levels.

"Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood shall have eternal life,
 and I will raise him up on the last day."
                      --(John 6:54) Written in blood on wall

The Son: Don't you want to live forever?
Mulder:  Not if drawstring pants come back into style.

ONE BREATH
LGM:     How did you get these charts.
Frohike: I hid them in my pants?
Mulder:  Plenty of room there too.

TSM:    I'm in the game because I believe what i'm doing is right.
Mulder: Right? Who are you to decide what's right?
TSM:    Who are *you*?

Melissa Scully: Why is it so dark in here?
Mulder: Because the lights aren't on.

LGM:    Mulder you look down.  You're welcome to come over on
        Saturday. We're going to jump on the internet and nitpick the
        scientific inaccuracies of Earth 2.
Mulder: I'm doing my laundry.

TSM: If you're having trouble sitting on Mulder, Assistant Director,
     Skinner, I'm sure you know that we would have no trouble.

TSM: Don't try and threaten me, Mulder. I've watched presidents die.

TSM: If people were to know of the things I know, it would all fall
     apart.

TSM: I have more respect for you, Mulder. You're becoming a player.

Melissa: You know, just because it's positive and good, doesn't mean
         it's silly or trite.

Mulder: I brought you something... Superstart of the Superbowl.
Scully: I knew there was a reason to live.

FIREWALKER
Pierce: I'm afraid to go through proper channels.
Mulder: We're not exactly proper channels.

Mulder: I'm gonna go find Trepkos.
Scully: What if he's already dead?
Mulder: Then he'll have a tough time answering my questions.

Trepkos: I say the Earth holds some truths best left buried.

Mulder: I'm Special Agent Mulder. I'm with the FBI.

Trepkos: You still believe you can petition heaven to get some
         penetrating answer. If you found that answer, what would you
         do with it?

Trepkos: In a single moment, everything that science held sacred
         suddenly turned on its head.

RED MUSEUM
Scully: But not Nixon?
Mulder: No, not even they want to claim Nixon.

Farmer: Says who? The government? Phaaa...

Boy: I gotta drain the lizard.

Mulder: I need your help.
Odin:   What?
Mulder: It would offend your religous sensibilities but it could save
        some lifes.

	(in interrogation room with Oden)
Mulder: You know, for a holy man, you've got quite a knack for pissing
	people off.

Mulder: He's been injecting those kids with alien DNA.

EXCELSIUS DEI
Mulder: Whatever tape you found in that VCR isn't mine.
Scully: Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those
        other videos that aren't yours.
Mulder: (looking at screen) Well, this definitely isn't mine.

Patient: I've got plumbing older than this building, and it don't work
         much better, either!  (Opens towel to provide a view)
Mulder:  Thank you for sharing.

Scully: What do you think, Mulder?
Mulder: About the guy's plumbing?

Mulder: Are you saying the building's haunted? Because, if you are, I
        think you've been working with me too long, Scully.

Scully: Mulder, mushrooms aren't medication. They taste good on
        hamburgers, but they don't raise the dead.

AUBREY
Scully: Go to hell.

Scully: A woman senses these things.

Mulder: During their time, Cheney's and Ledbetter's ideas weren't very
        well received by their peers.  Using psychology to solve a
        crime was something like...
Scully: Believing in the paranormal?
Mulder: Exactly.  But there's another mystery.
Scully: Which is?
Mulder: Well, I'd like to know why this police woman would suddenly
        drive her car into a field the size of Rhode Island and for
        no rhyme or reason dig up the bones of a man whose been
        missing for 50 years.  I mean unless there was a neon sign
        saying 'Dig Here'...
Scully: I guess that's why we're going to Aubrey.
Mulder: Yes, and, also, I've always been intrigued by women named BJ.

Mulder: Well, I don't want to jump to any rash conclusions but I'd
        say he's definitely our prime subject, huh?
Scully: Mulder, the man we're talking about is 77 years old.
Mulder: Well, George Foreman won the heavyweight crown at 45.
        Some people are late bloomers.

Mulder: Well, I've often felt that dreams are answers to questions we
	haven't yet figured out how to ask.

	(While driving to suspects house in Nebraska)
Mulder: You mean a hunch?
Scully: Yeah, something like that.
Mulder: Well that's a pretty extreme hunch.
Scully: Well I seem to recall you having some pretty extreme hunches.
Mulder: I never have...

Mulder: There are countless stories of twins who are separated
        at birth who end up in the same occupation, marrying
        the same kind of people, each naming their child Waldo.
Scully: Waldo?

BJ: This time you'll stay dead!

IRRESISTIBLE
Mulder: Well, some people collect salt and pepper shakers.  Fetishists
        collect dead things- fingernails and hair.  Noone quite knows
        why. Though I've never really understood salt and pepper
        shakers myself.

Mulder: You know people videotape police beatings on darkened streets.
        They manage to spot Elvis in three cities across America every
        day.  But none saw a pretty woman being forced off the road in
        her rental car.

Mulder: (to Scully) I don't want to you to think you have to hide
        anything from me.

Bochs:  There was somebody down there in the grave, cut the hair with
        a pair of pinking shears.  Gotta wonder about this guy....
Mulder: Well, at least he wasn't down there with his dippity-do and
        his blow-dryer.

DIE HAND DIE VERLETZT
Scully: ...But it would take a python hours... *days* to digest a
        human.
Mulder: You really do watch The Learning Channel, don't you?

Mulder: Did you really expect to conjure up the devil and ask him to
        behave?

??: It's high school. It's normal for students to display abnormal
    behavior.

Scully:	I mean, there's nothing odd about...
        (toads start falling from the sky, then stop)
Mulder:	So, lunch?
Scully:	Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!
Mulder:	Guess their parachutes didn't open.  What did you say about
        this place not feeling odd?

Mulder: I didn't want to excite his already clearly aggravated
        imagination.

Jim:    I would kill anyone who did the things to Shannon that she
        claims.
Mulder: Not a very Christian tenet.

FRESH BONES
Mulder: You should *always* carry protection.

         (Mulder and Scully come into the Colonel's office as he's
          having breakfast)
Colonel: I'm sorry, I'm having my breakfast.
Mulder:  That's alright, we already ate.

Mulder:  Well, we'll let you finish.  We wouldn't want your breakfast
         to get cold.

COLONY
Mulder: ...all worked in abortion clinics. They died in separate arson
        fires.
Scully: Sounds like the work of militant right-to-lifers.

Scully: I've got a bad feeling about this case, Mulder.
Mulder: What do you mean?
Scully: Well, nothing about it makes sense.  We've got 3 deaths of
        identical victims, no bodies, a virtual non-suspect...
Mulder: Sounds just like an X-File.

        (After Mulder gets hit by car)
Scully:	How you feeling?
Mulder:	Like I should have used the crosswalk.

Scully: Our `friend' from the CIA is about as unbelievable as his
        story. As is everything about this case. I mean, whatever
        happened to `Trust no one'?
Mulder: Oh, I changed it to `Trust everyone'. Didn't I tell you?

Mulder: I think you're being paranoid.

Scully: What are you going to tell Skinner?
Mulder: The truth.  I got hit by a car.

Mulder:          Who is mom talking to?
Mulder's Father: Your sister.

END GAME
Captain:    Prepare to surface!
Midshipman: Surface into what?  We're under 32 feet of glacial ice!

`Mulder': Okay, I'm going to take my left hand and reach into my
          pocket and get my ID, okay?  Just don't shoot me. I got shot
          once and I didn't much care for it...

`Samantha': I know how to kill him.
Mulder:     How?
`Samantha': By piercing the base of the skull...
Mulder:     That would kill anybody.

Mr. X: You wanted to see me? Mulder: How was the opera? Mr. X: Wonderful. I've never slept better. I don't like these hasty public meetings, Agent Mulder. Mulder: I'm sorry. I need your help. Mr. X: It's over. The fat lady is singing. Skinner: What's going on here agent Mulder? Why are the lights out? Mulder: Orders from my optometrist. Scully: How did you get this? Skinner: Unofficial channels. Assassin: Is the answer to your question worth dying for? Is that what you want? Mulder: Where is she? Just tell me where she is. Assassin: She's alive. Can you die now? Scully: Hey... How you feeling? Mulder: Like I got a bad case of freezer burn. Scully: Thanks for ditching me... Scully: Did you find what you were looking for? Mulder: (whispering) "No... no. But I found something I'd thought I'd lost. Faith to keep looking...

FEARFUL SYMMETRY
Mulder: It's all happening at the zoo, Scully.

Mulder: I'd be willing to admit the possibility of a tornado, but it's
        not really tornado season.  I'd even be willing to entertain
        the notion of a black hole passing over the area or some
        cosmic anomaly but it's not really black hole season either...
        If I were a betting man, I'd say it was...
Scully: An invisible elephant?
Mulder: I saw David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear
        once.

Scully: What'cha looking for, Mulder?
Mulder: Uhh... local paper.  I wanna see if David Copperfield is in
        town.

        (Scully about to preform an autopsy on the elephant)
Scully: This isn't exactly in my job description.
Mulder: Next thing you know they'll be doing it on MTV Sports.

Kyle:   ...All animals should run free.
Scully: Even if that means trampling a man to death?
Kyle:   Maybe he should have gotten out of the way.
Mulder: I'm sure he would have if he had seen it coming.

         (Mulder's cell-phone beeps)
Frohike: (Eyebrows up) If that's the lovely Agent Scully, let her know
         I've been working out... I'm buff!

Scully: There's evidence of hyperplasia and the corpus luteum is
        ruptured.
Willa:  That's not possible.
Mulder: Neither is an invisible elephant.

DOD KALM
Scully: Something very strange is going on here, Mulder.

Scully: Off by about a hundred years you don't seem to suprised.

Scully: What do you know about free radicals?
Mulder: Is this a quiz?

HUMBUG
Mr. Nutt:  I've taken in your all-American features, your dour
           demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded
           you work for the government.  An FBI Agent.  But do you see
           the tragedy here?  I have mistakenly reduced you to a
           stereotype. A caricature.  Instead of regarding you as a
           specific, unique individual.
Mulder:    But I am an FBI agent.

Dr. Blockhead: Did you know that through the protective Chinese art of
               tu bwan you can train your testicles to draw up into
               your abdomen?
Mulder:        Oh, I'm doing that as we speak.

Mr. Nutt: You'd be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly 
          alluring.
Mulder:   You'd be surprised how many men do as well. (Smiles
          knowingly)

               (Mulder and Scully are caught digging in Sheriff
                Hamilton's back yard)
Dr. Blockhead: I don't answer any questions until I talk to my lawyer.
Scully:        Who's your lawyer?
Dr. Blockhead: I represent myself.

        (Scully pulls cricket she "ate" from behind Mulder's ear)
Scully: It's an old sleight of hand my uncle taught me.  He was only
        an amateur magician but he was still better than those two.
Mulder: Well I'm going over to the lab to see if they can test the
        blood on the window against the blood on Dr. Blockhead's nail.
        (Produces nail from mid-air) Everybody's uncle's an amateur
         magician.

THE CALUSARI
Chuck:  In 1979 I witnessed a guru named Sala Baba (sp?) create an
        entire feast out of thin air.
Scully: Too bad you didn't take a picture.  You could have run it
        through your computer and seen the entire Last Supper.

F. EMASCULATA
Scully: According to the briefing, prisoners escaped by hiding in a
        laundry cart.
Mulder: I don't think the guards are watching enough prison movies.

Marshall: Well then you'd be a real big help is you just tried to...
          stay
          out of the way.
Mulder:   Well, we'd be happy to, soon as we can talk to someone who's
          in CHARGE...
Marshall: (Peeved) I'm in charge here.
Mulder:   Apparently not, or you'd know why our involvement was
          requested.

Scully: Where are you going?
Mulder: To see if I can get in the way.

Mulder: Deadly? How deadly?
Scully: Well, from what I've seen so far, 36 hours after infection
        deadly.

TSM:    The truth would have caused panic.  Panic would have cost
        lives. We control the disease by controlling the information.
Mulder: You can't protect the public by lying.
TSM:    It's done every day...

Skinner: Agent Mulder.  I'm saying this as a friend. Watch your back.
         This is just the beginning.

SOFT LIGHT
Kelly:  Agent Scully, what are you looking at?
Scully: Uh, the heat register.
Kelly:  You don't think anyone could have squeezed in there?
Mulder: You never know...

Det. Beren: Yeah, I was just wondering what your involvement is here.
Mulder:     We caught the guy.

Mulder: ...He believes the government is out to get him.
Mr X:   It's tax season.  So do most Americans.

Mulder: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to
        get you, Scully.

OUR TOWN
Scully: I just came up with a sick theory.
Mulder: Oooo, I'm listening!

Mulder:  Well I'd like it dragged as soon as possible.
Sheriff: Why would ya wanna do that?
Mulder:  To see what's in there.

Scully: All of them share one strange detail, Mulder.
Mulder: Well they seem to have lost their heads...

THE ANASAZI
Thinker: I.. I don't want you to know my real name.  I.. I just don't
         think it's that important that you know.
Mulder:  Sounds like a line I used in a bar once.

Scully: What is this?
Mulder: The Holy Grail...

Scully: Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder: Yeah, I just haven't been sleeping.

Mulder: You shot me!
Scully: Yes, I did.  You didn't give me much choice.  You were about
        to kill Krycek.
Mulder: Why'd you shoot ME?  HE'S the one...

Mulder: But these aren't human, Scully.  From the look of it I'd say
        they were alien.
Scully: Are you sure?
Mulder: I'm pretty damn sure

GONLINS (Book)
        (Mulder throws crushed paper across his office, misses and
         says:)
Mulder: Michal Jorden's safe for this year.

Unknown edisodes


Scully: Are you certain it was an accident?



Scully: Under any other circumstances my first call would have been to
        the government.



Mulder: Will you call me if anything happens?



Scully: How can you be so certain?



Mulder: That's all we got.
Scully: After all he's given us. How is this deep throat character? I
         mean, we don't know anything about him, what his name is, who
         he does?
Mulder: He is in a delicate position. He has access to information, an
        indiscretion could expose him.
Scully: You don't know it this isn't a game of him, he is toying with
        you, rashing up the facts.
Mulder: You think he does it because he get off on it?
Scully: No, I think he does it because you do.



Ola Mårtensson: http://www.df.lth.se/~ola

Time-stamp: <2012-10-23 14:09:38 ola>