From: gmoriart@grieg.helios.nd.edu (Keylime)

Subject: Alt.Stupidity Quiz

Date: 12 Jan 1995 03:26:30 GMT

Yes kiddies, it's time for the first ever alt.stupidity quiz. Take
out your pens and pencils and put your thinking caps on. You will
have 15 minutes to complete this quiz. Your final result will be
determined from the total number of answers you mark right minus
one fourth of the answers you get wrong. And remember, there are
no incorrect answers.

You may begin.

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			ALT STUPIDITY QUIZ
			Name: ____________

Life is like:
A) a box of chocolates.
B) I think I poopied my pants.
C) Oh shit. Not again. Go get the vacuum.
D) AAAAAAAAAH! I HEAR VOICES!!! MAKE THEM STOP!!! AAAAAAAHH!!!

Fill in the blank: "Stupid is as stupid _______":
A) does.
B) Oh man. It's all over the place. I'm really sorry.
C) Good god. Stop moving around. It's only making it worse.
D) AAAAAAAAH!!!! THE ALIENS ARE ABDUCTING ME!!! HELP ME!!!!!!

What word best describes belly buttons:
A) Yummy.
B) What do you mom will say when she gets home?
C) I don't want to think about it. Maybe we should have used a
   mop instead.
D) MICROCHIPS!!!! THEY'RE CONTROLLING MY THOUGHTS!!! MAGNETIC WAVES!!!!
 
Complete this sentence. Lather, rinse, _______:
A) repeat.
B) Your mother is so fat that she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
C) Oh yeah? Well I swerved to avoid *your* mother in the road and ran
   out of gas.
D) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

The leading cause of death of stupidians is:
A) Baconitis.
B) Well your mother is so fat that she uses a matress as a maxipad.
C) *Your* mother auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones and got the part
   of the big rolling ball!
D) THE CIA!!!! THE FBI! ELVIS!!! THEY'RE ALL IN IT TOGETHER!!!!!!!

Complete this sentence. Sometimes you feel like a nut...:
A) sometimes you don't.
B) Your mother is so fat her blood type is Ragu.
C) Oh shutup and help me get this crap off the ceiling.
D) THEY'VE GOT ME!!!! THEY'RE TAKING ME AWAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

The most powerful donut in the world is the:
A) .44 Magnum Donut
B) There. We're all done.
C) Thank god. Next time go outside, would ya?
D) *pant* *pant* Anyone catch the license plate number of that banana?

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