>Hi! I'm looking for a recipe for Hot Bacon Mustard/Hot Bacon Dressing >for salads. I had Hot Bacon dressing at a German eating fest. in >Milwaukee, and the Hot bacon elsewhere. Primary ingredients seem to be >vinegar, bacon, bacon fat/ oil of some sort. Can you help me out? This is off the top of my head so... 2 C. Tarragon vinegar 3 C. Bacon grease 1 C. lemon juice 16 oz sugar 1 C. White wine 2 oz corn starch 2 oz pesto 3/4 lb Chopped crisp bacon 1. Combine the vinegar, bacon drippings, lemon juice and sugar in a sauce pot an bring to a strong boil. 2. Dissolve the corn starch in the wine, then add to the boiling mixture. 3. Throw in the bacon pieces and the pesto AFTER the dressing has cooled completely. This makes about 1/2 gallon of dressing. Chilled it should last a number of weeks. At the Italian restaurant where I learned this recipe we didn't put the bacon or pesto in until the time of preperation. To prepare a flaming spinach salad heat an amount of the dressing in a pan. Pour 151 rum on the spinach leaves and light. Extinguish the flames with the warmed dressing.
In some bacon article dleer@lawson.its.utas.edu.au (Damien James Leer) stated: >In article <Pine.SUN.3.91.950607133700.12974A-100000@altair.herts.ac.uk>, Mircalla <kst2gu@herts.ac.uk> writes: >> >>On Tue, 6 Jun 1995, John Patrick Lodder wrote: >>> Well, sometimes it is. >> >>No it isn't.. and you know it.. the true saying is life is like a box of >>chocolates!! (and I hate chocolate). >> >Actually, the original goes like this: "LIfe is like a box, just like a box is > like a box". No, no, no. "Life is like a bag, it's empty until you fill it with something." /^JN - The Anti JN - Holy moly and Provisional Cheesus. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article dleer@lawson.its.utas.edu.au (Damien James Leer) stated: : >In article <Pine.SUN.3.91.950607133700.12974A-100000@altair.herts.ac.uk>, Mircalla <kst2gu@herts.ac.uk> writes: : >> : >>On Tue, 6 Jun 1995, John Patrick Lodder wrote: : >>> Well, sometimes it is. : >> : >>No it isn't.. and you know it.. the true saying is life is like a box of : >>chocolates!! (and I hate chocolate). : >> : >Actually, the original goes like this: "LIfe is like a box, just like a box is : > like a box". : No, no, no. : "Life is like a bag, it's empty until you fill it with something." True, but it also matters what you fill your bag with. - Jeffzilla (still with an empty bag)
Comic #30 of 50 "Bazooka Joe Raps" Panel one a buxom blond wearing a short skirted, tight slinky red dress with blond hair galor, sunglasses, high heeled boots, and a red purse. Panel two (dialogue points to both) close up of same female holding in one hand a picture of our hero, Bazooka Joe, and in the other hand more than one credit card. Text: "I'm Zena! I'm Hot!/And I love to shop./Give me credit cards/and I can't stop!/ I buy the best/and have a ball/in every store - /in every mall./ But Bazooka Joe's /my true romance/'cuz he likes my/style and he /loves to/ dance! Fortune: Don't Carry Grudges--They Can Weigh You Down" Wow, this is offensive. Hoo boy! Wow! I mean, it's not Bazooka Joe who's rapping. Ross--who really is offended, but this isn't really the place for it.
Gronk gronk gronk Gigglenose: : Michael Wimble (mike_wimble@taligent.com) wrote: : : I could use some advice. What do you have? : Never put a bean up your nose. My mom told me not to put beans in my ears, beans in my ears, beans in my ears, my mom told me not to put beans in my ears, so I killed her and then put the beans in HER ears. Or something like that. I reeally hate cute novelty songs.
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated:
>In article <3rqv86$mik@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes:
>>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated:
>
>>>mmmmmmhhhhhhh!
>>Ahh......
>Wooohhhhh!
Unhhhh......
>>>--Bill (who will regret it Thursday morning...)
>>/^JN - The Anti JN - Who won't regret it until friday morning when the
>> roof-repairmen starts pounding on the roof.
>*MM -- who will never regret it.
/^JN - The Anti JN - Who acutally didn't have to regret it as the
roof-repairmen wouldn't work friday 'cause the
roof was too slippery. (Ten kilos of butter well used)
--
#### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> #####
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In <3rqv86$mik@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes:
>
>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>
stated:
>>mmmmmmhhhhhhh!
>
>Ahh......
Oooh.... Poppin'-fresh dough... (tee-hee!)...
>>--Bill (who will regret it Thursday morning...)
>
>/^JN - The Anti JN - Who won't regret it until friday morning when the
> roof-repairmen starts pounding on the roof.
Princess WhiteGoat - who will regret it in 9 months when she has a
Pillsbury Bastard...
Shaun Frederick Davis-Gluyas (sdavisgl@lawson.its.utas.edu.au) wrote: : "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates 1981 "Who wants a silly graphical operating system anyway?" Bill Gates.
In some bacon article yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) stated: > > - Jeffzilla (bitter about something but doesn't know what) Try Bob Vila, always works for me. /^JN - The Anti JN - Bitter about Bob Vila. And cheese. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Found in the 'Net (alt.alcohol)... Blowjob shooter. Sure, I'm a bartender for a college crowd type of bar. Blowjobs are popular with groups of twenty something girls. The shot is spoon layered. Coffee liquor on the bottom then black raspberry liquor and finally whipped cream on top. It's always made in a shot glass, as opposed to a shooter glass, so the person partaking can easily fit her mouth around the glass without using her hands. ( I'm using her, because from my experience most men do not order blowjob shooters). So, this is how it works: Hands behind back.. mouth around shot glass.. tilt head all the way back, with shot glass in mouth.. swallow.. Whipped cream gets all over your mouth. I'm sure you get the picture. yy -- jknight@charm.net Joanna Knight -- Nothing burps like bacon! -Ed O'Neill, "driving me crazy"
[ Article crossposted from alt.mindcontrol ] [ Author was Tung-Chiang Yang ] [ Posted on 3 Jun 1995 08:55:26 GMT ] >Here you are again. I will post this in "alt.mindcontrol" so you can >find better friends there :) [mulch] >> In 1953, Dr. John Lilly was working at NIH and studying the brain's >> map -- from the various location of brain to find the body functions in >> his experiments. From the electric stimulation using, he discovered >> the >> precise center of monkey's brains that caused pain, fear anxiety, and >> anger. >> Also he found some separate parts of brain that can controlled the >> erection, ejaculation, and orgasm in male monkey. Hmm... >> It's obvious that the CIA was interested in manipulation of the human >> mind because the ability of thoughts transference would be a devastating >> weapon in thir service. Also they know that the KGB are years ahead in >> the search for mind control. Yea. Give your enemy a boner to distract him. >> A kind type of signal has made monkeys turn their heads, >> or smile, no matter what else they were doing, up to twenty thousand >> times in two weeks. I want one! I want one I want one of those boner inducing ray guns! ---Steve
In some bacon article sander@netcom.com (Sarah Anderson) stated:
>Bring on the prezzies and cake!
Oki.
* * * * * *
| | | | | |
_-|-|-|-|-|-|-_
|-_____________-|
|Happy Birthday!|
| |
'-_____________-'
Here, I'll even give you a sword to cut it with:
______
| _|
| /
/o \-------| \-----------------------------------------\
| | | |----------------------------------------->
\__/-------| /-----------------------------------------/
| \_
|____|
/^JN - The Anti JN - Nauseated by his niceness.
--
#### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> #####
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <no-kitty@lklkjlkjgssgaags> spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) writes:
>In article <3r1v66$a5v@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote:
>>tv's Spatch (spatula@gecko.concorde.com) wrote:
>>: In article <3qvahj$2k6@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote:
>>: >tv's Spatch (spatula@gecko.concorde.com) wrote:
>>: >
>>: >: Maybe if we all plead it can be the Offical Host of alt.stoopiddidity
>>: >: or something.
>>: >
>>: >Um, isn't that you?
>>
>>: I'm not a Host! An emcee, perhaps, in the Ed Sullivan vein (And now,
>>: here's Jeffziller and his Spinning Plates O' Death!) but not a host. If
>>: I were a host I'd have to have a direct neural connection to the Internet.
>>
>>Well, I was thinking like in a Lord of Hosts godish way, and then you could
>>use your powers and stuff to link yourself to the internet--just like the
>>Lawnmower Man. After all, you're god in here!
>No, because then I'd have to talk like Jobe ("HEY! THAT'S DANGEROUS!
>THAT'S DANGEROUS! CYBOMAN WILL GET YOU!") and Pierce Brosnan would chase
>after me and if there's anything I don't want more in life, it's Pierce
>Brosnan chasing after me.
Not even your hat chasing after Pierce Brosnan?
*MM
CORN-CHOWDER - A hearty corn soup
This recipe comes from my mother-in-law and is a family
favorite. It makes a good, hearty meal when served with
fresh bread or rolls.
INGREDIENTS (Serves 2-4 people)
3 Tbsp butter
1 small onion, chopped
1 cup cubed ham
3 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed
1/2 cup water
salt and pepper
16 oz canned corn (cream-style or regular)
2 cups milk
PROCEDURE
(1) Melt butter and saut'e onions until soft and tran-
sparent.
(2) Add the ham, potatoes, water, salt and pepper (to
taste) and cook, covered, until the potatoes are
done (easily pierced with a fork).
(3) Add the corn and the milk and heat thoroughly. Do
NOT boil.
(4) Serve with fresh bread.
NOTES
If you don't have any ham, you can substitute 6 slices of
bacon. Fry up the bacon and remove from the pan. Saut'e the
onions in the bacon fat and continue from there. Crumble
the bacon and add with the milk and corn instead of with the
potatoes. Bacon gives a slightly different flavor. Note
that many stores offer canned ham in 6 3/4-oz cans, packaged
like tuna fish.
RATING
Difficulty: easy. Time: 10 minutes preparation, 30 minutes
cooking. Precision: Approximate measurement OK.
Jeffzilla wrote: :Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: :: Please define stupid. :: --Bill (who couldn't think of anything original to say) : What do you expect from a clone? Huh... 1. Xerox jox^Hkes? 2. Clone on the range? 3. Cloning around? 4. Clone ME Doctor Memory! (oops...it's already been done) Uhhh... 1. Clone on the range? Oh. It's been done already. 2. Clone sweet clone? 3. Clone on the cob? Okay, maybe yer right. Waitaminute! Cyclone (as in Cyberspace Clone)!!!!!!! Nah... --Bill (who's been kind of uneasy lately with whathisface's "Information superhighway" AND William Gibson's terminology) -- Searching for the original .sig
Dinky LaLa (konnie@halcyon.com) wrote: : In article <Pine.SUN.3.91.950612213614.13136C-100000@altair.herts.ac.uk> Mircalla <kst2gu@herts.ac.uk> writes: : >From: Mircalla <kst2gu@herts.ac.uk> : >Subject: Re: Advice : >Date: Mon, 12 Jun 1995 21:37:05 +0100 : >On 11 Jun 1995, Gigglenose wrote: : >> Michael Wimble (mike_wimble@taligent.com) wrote: : >> : I could use some advice. What do you have? : >> : >> Never put a bean up your nose. : >> : >> -Marlan-who would never admit that he knows that from experience. : >Never put cake up your nose either. My brother once did that and was too : >young to realise he wouldn't be able to breathe.. Lucy he had a mouth really. : Never put a cookie up your nose - IF YOU HAD A COOKIE. That makes me feel like a song!! "C" is for Cookie, that's good enough for me. "C" is for Cookie, that's good enough for me. *loud* "C" IS FOR COOKIE, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!! OH!!! *with much enthusiasm* COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE STARTS WITH "C"!!!! -Marlan- who has waited two years to repost that song. *sigh*
In article <3s1jum$cf9@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >From: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) >Here, I'll even give you a sword to cut it with: > ______ > | _| > | / > /o \-------| \-----------------------------------------\ > | | | |-----------------------------------------> > \__/-------| /-----------------------------------------/ > | \_ > |____| Ahhh... remarkable craftsmanship. The proportions of the handle and the blade seem very well balanced. You know, seeing tools of such quality is one of the things that make you want to become better and even better in your profession. *MM -- who wonders why the craftsman's hip is so essential.
In article <vtkk.v1wki.1198.0032CF91@elvi.vtkk.fi>, vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: |> In article <3s1jum$cf9@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: |> >From: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) |> >Here, I'll even give you a sword to cut it with: |> > ______ |> > | _| |> > | / |> > /o \-------| \-----------------------------------------\ |> > | | | |-----------------------------------------> |> > \__/-------| /-----------------------------------------/ |> > | \_ |> > |____| |> |> Ahhh... remarkable craftsmanship. The proportions of the handle |> and the blade seem very well balanced. You know, seeing tools |> of such quality is one of the things that make you want to become |> better and even better in your profession. Truly spoken by a fellow scandinavian berzerker! It makes me want to go out and chop som heads, right? Skal vi ta en øl med det samme vi er i gang, hva? Kva seier du, Magnus? \Per
In <3s3u2r$cu5@news.uit.no> perm@stud.cs.uit.no (Per Harald Myrvang)
writes:
>
>In article <vtkk.v1wki.1198.0032CF91@elvi.vtkk.fi>,
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes:
>|> In article <3s1jum$cf9@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN)
writes:
>|> >From: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN)
>|> >Here, I'll even give you a sword to cut it with:
>|> > ______
>|> > | _|
>|> > | /
>|> > /o \-------| \-----------------------------------------\
>|> > | | | |----------------------------------------->
>|> > \__/-------| /-----------------------------------------/
>|> > | \_
>|> > |____|
>|>
>|> Ahhh... remarkable craftsmanship. The proportions of the handle
>|> and the blade seem very well balanced. You know, seeing tools
>|> of such quality is one of the things that make you want to become
>|> better and even better in your profession.
>
>Truly spoken by a fellow scandinavian berzerker! It makes me want to
>go out and chop som heads, right? Skal vi ta en øl med det samme vi er
>i gang, hva? Kva seier du, Magnus?
>
>\Per
Jag aer en git. Aer du en git?
Amerikanska Flicka...
Princess WhiteGit
In some bacon article perm@stud.cs.uit.no (Per Harald Myrvang) stated: >In article <vtkk.v1wki.1198.0032CF91@elvi.vtkk.fi>, vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: >|> In article <3s1jum$cf9@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >|> >From: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) >|> >Here, I'll even give you a sword to cut it with: >|> > ______ >|> > | _| >|> > | / >|> > /o \-------| \-----------------------------------------\ >|> > | | | |-----------------------------------------> >|> > \__/-------| /-----------------------------------------/ >|> > | \_ >|> > |____| >|> >|> Ahhh... remarkable craftsmanship. The proportions of the handle >|> and the blade seem very well balanced. You know, seeing tools >|> of such quality is one of the things that make you want to become >|> better and even better in your profession. > >Truly spoken by a fellow scandinavian berzerker! It makes me want to >go out and chop som heads, right? Skal vi ta en øl med det samme vi er >i gang, hva? Kva seier du, Magnus? Between the three of us we've got a pretty good band of vikings... All we need is a Dane and an Icelander. (But we can probably wing it) Magnus är väl en sån som föredrar vodka? Är det inte sant Magnus? /^JN - The Anti JN - Som föredrar vodka lika mycket som öl... -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <3qo09r$3nqc@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu>, Karl Robert Loeffler <kloeffle@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu> wrote: > >Fellow stupidians, lend me your ears. No, Magnus! It's just an >expression! Sorry about that guys. *puts down straight razor and stops humming 'Stuck In The Middle With You'* Oh? > >In one week, I will graduate from this fine institution that I have >called home for the last six years. I will be cut off from my usenet >supply like that (snap fingers here) While I may be able to login >surreptitiously for a few months, the authorities will undoubtedly >discover my subterfuge eventually, and my account will be terminated. >Therefore, let's all say our goodbyes now. Okay. Sunrise, sunset... *wipes tear from eye* And you were going into the Hall of Semi-Maybe Fame, too. > >You got one week to send me your condolences on my imminent emergence >into the real world. > >Mad Czech-I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go! It's OK. You'll wake up in The Village. -- tv's Spatch, father of alt.stupidity and an accident just waiting to happen "Yeah, but bacon tastes good." - Gabe Kaplan, "Barney Miller" "You see, here at Taco Bell, every day is a new day." - 'Roger & Me' It's a fact! Ze Stupid Homepage is at: http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <3qo09r$3nqc@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu> kloeffle@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu (Karl Robert Loeffler) writes: >Fellow stupidians, lend me your ears. No, Magnus! It's just an >expression! [Damn.] >In one week, I will graduate from this fine institution that I have >called home for the last six years. It's always difficult to leave an asylum. "Die Wahrheit steht vor dir... grausam und gross." >I will be cut off from my usenet >supply like that (snap fingers here) While I may be able to login >surreptitiously for a few months, the authorities will undoubtedly >discover my subterfuge eventually, and my account will be terminated. >Therefore, let's all say our goodbyes now. It's possible that they'll take you back. Maybe they'll terminate something else than just your account. Goodbye... >You got one week to send me your condolences on my imminent emergence >into the real world. Welcome to the Large Dark Room. There are no chirping birds or basket weavers in here, and life isn't beautiful all the time. No nice young men in their clean white clothes. This is no Happy Home. >Mad Czech-I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go! Three words: grausam und gross! *MM
I thought that the subject line was an apt one to make my little announcement: The Mad Czech has returned! a round of TRUE YETI for eveyone! Mad Czech-more later, my parking meter is expiring. -- Karlitos | Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you | try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive | the cart. | Dave Barry
In some bacon article Karl Robert Loeffler stated: >Fellow stupidians, lend me your ears. No, Magnus! It's just an >expression! Sorry about that guys. > >In one week, I will graduate from this fine institution that I have >called home for the last six years. I will be cut off from my usenet >supply like that (snap fingers here) While I may be able to login >surreptitiously for a few months, the authorities will undoubtedly >discover my subterfuge eventually, and my account will be terminated. >Therefore, let's all say our goodbyes now. > >You got one week to send me your condolences on my imminent emergence >into the real world. Here son, take this double barreled shotgun and this box of ascii swords. You might need them when you meet some cute fluffy thing in the harsh place called "Real Life". Watch out for bosses with pointy hair and Bob Vila. Go in peace... >Mad Czech-I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go! Now, now, be a man, don't stand there bawling. It's better if we get this over with. And as Spatch said, your name will be entered in the Alt.Stupididity hall of Semi-Maybe Fame. /^JN - The Anti JN - The Almost Patron Saint of Those Who Hunt Cute Fluffy Things and Wielder of the Sacred Ascii Sword. (APSt. of TWHCFT & W. of SAS) -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJn.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
I sit here in the lab, getting a rasterburn. It's really depressing. Outside, http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/LookingOutOfTheWindow.html, it does not rain. But it does inside my skull. Red rain. And my fingers are wearing down to small stubbs. I have typed far to many characters on this rock-hard keyboard. And I am tired. So tired. Now I go on to rectify the confines of my tomb. And my knife needs sharpening. I shouldn't have cut down all those trees, my axe now has a nasty notch. It's so sad. Do you think pink wallpaper would be nice inside the crypt? Oh, well, I have to get some sugar with water and carbondioxyde. Wether it shall be with coffeine or sitrus acids I do not know. I guess I have to spend the whole next week deciding. Send my regards to your mum, love you all, -- Per Harald Myrvang | Docta Docta Docta perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm I Speak For Myself, Myself, And Only For Myself!
In some bacon article spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >In article <3qt7i2$dmj@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca>, >Jeffery Shidei <yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca> wrote: >>tv's Spatch (spatula@gecko.concorde.com) wrote: >>:>: IGUANA CRISP. The great iguana taste you love, mixed with wholesome bran >>:>: flakes. A great way to start your morning. Also available, IGUANA >>:>: RAISIN CRISP. >>:> >>:> That cereal is made with artificial iguana additives like >>:>lizard entrails and stuff. I hear they even take some of the iguanas >>:>when they're still moulting. >> >>: Thank you, Ralph Nader, for making a perfectly normal breakfast into a >>: freakin' nightmare. >> >> There is a dire need for Stoopid Rights Activists to expose >>the corrupt capitalist schemes which exploit innocent iguanas in third >>world countries. I will never stop fighting to protect the victims of >>this vile and intolerable greed. SAVE THE IGUANA! > >But you just said the iguanas in IGUANA RAISIN CRISP were artificial. >Nobody gives two airborne fornications about artificial iguanas. > >Save the iguana, save the raisins, what about the CRISPS?! > >Have you no decency? Ummm...No. /^JN - The Anti JN - Indecent every time he can. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJn.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
papa legba mulched: : : who am i? : Just taking a shot, but I'll go for "young person with : more free time than imagination." How'd I do? They said the same thing about Jeffrey Dahmer and, as we all know, that simply was not true. - Jeffzilla (no relation)
In article <3r5cln$nr8@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca>, Jeffery Shidei <yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca> wrote: >Karl Robert Loeffler (kloeffle@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu) wrote: > >: Now would that be a frog gig that is big, or a gig for big frogs? > >: I love Ross because he is practically the only one that ever follows up >: to my posts. i love papa because he is my favorite official vodun saint >: of the official religion of alt.stupidity. Actually, he is the only one. > >: I love Jeffzilla because I don't know any other Japanese-Canadians. > > I love the Mad Czech 'cuz he's the only Mad Czech I'll ever, >ever, ever know and he tastes good with dijon mustard and a tiny >spoonful of cheez whiz. Next to Iguana Crisp he's my favourite snack! I love the Easter Bunny cause he's big and white and fluffy and he's a bunny and he hippity-hops down the bunny trail giving Easter eggs to the good boys and girls and when I get upset I can RIP HIS FUCKING HEAD APART AND IMPALE IT ON A BARBED SPEAR AND WAVE IT ALL AROUND. -- tv's Spatch, father of alt.stupidity and an accident just waiting to happen "Yeah, but bacon tastes good." - Gabe Kaplan, "Barney Miller" "You see, here at Taco Bell, every day is a new day." - 'Roger & Me' It's a fact! Ze Stupid Homepage is at: http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <3qg92f$il0_001@news.teleport.com>, Emilie <ecartoun@teleport.com> wrote: >> > >You boring assanine jerk-off, you left me out. Who gives a flying fart what >your name is? Get ebola. In the 50's, it was "Sit on it". In the 60's, it was ... uhm, "Fuck you". In the 70's, it was "Up your nose with a rubber hose." In the 80's, it was, er, "Fuck you" again. BUT NOW IT'S THE 90'S! And the witty new insult everybody's slinging about is "Get Ebola"! Try it today before some lame top-40 band makes a single out of it! -- tv's Spatch, father of alt.stupidity and an accident just waiting to happen "Yeah, but bacon tastes good." - Gabe Kaplan, "Barney Miller" "Hakuna Matata, Jay. It means five billion worldwide!" - Nathan Lane It's a fact! Ze Stupid Homepage is at: http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <3qie5m$fd0@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>, Jason Nafziger <nafziger.5@osu.edu> wrote: >"Get Ebola" >by the Bacon Sandwiches (not technically *top* 40, but >somewhere in there) > >Bleah, I see you sitting there >With your elbows and your hair >And little plastic sandwich bag full of granola > >Get Ebola >Get Ebola >Get Ebola >Get Ebola > >(repeat) > > > > >Jason -- who took seven hours to write that... And worth every second. Nafziger, you're a fucking loony^H^H^H^H^Hgenius. - spatch, who wants to make a movie about the BS that's just like "The Committments", so practice saying "fock" now - -- tv's Spatch, father of alt.stupidity and an accident just waiting to happen "Yeah, but bacon tastes good." - Gabe Kaplan, "Barney Miller" "Hakuna Matata, Jay. It means five billion worldwide!" - Nathan Lane It's a fact! Ze Stupid Homepage is at: http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
"song in outer esquimo dialect"
Quingwam quingwam
Frillybim frillybim
Floop floop floop floop
Prim fripple frapple bimstock
Oorst voorst pimchik blik
Mimsey mimsey chittle fim
Chillibimsnooknok
Irrysparry plingdong
Irrysparry plingdong
Rough translation:
Now that Momook has eaten the duck
We must send out the hunters.
Is there never an end to blubber?
Why are the reindeers coughing?
Geniac
And now for a homeless shamepage plug...
http://www.moscow.com/homepages/sdavisgl@lawson.its.utas.edu.au.html
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates 1981
[snip snip]
> Hi there Spatch - this one is just for you: OINK!!! (don't you feel *soooo*
> special getting a loud 'oink'?)
>
> Here's a few more sounds for you to wallow in
>
> mooo
E-I-E-I-O!
> meoww
With a ...
> woof!
> woof?
Here, and a ...
> WOOF!!! hiissss grrrr woooof wooof woof MEEEOOWW
there.
> (sorry 'bout that-bloody dog attacked the cat again!)
here a ..
> tweet tweet
there a ...
> cock-a-doodle-doo
Old Mc dleer@dawson.its.utas.edu.au had a farm. E-I-E-I-OOOOOO!
Sabrina -- I'd rather raise tinsel than chickens.
Well, since someone asked, I happen to have the music for the ferret song, and it goes a little something like this... I've got a ferret sticking up my nose (He's got a ferret sticking up his nose) How it got there I can't tell But now it's there it hurts like hell And what is more it radically affects my sense of smell (His sense of smell.) I can see a bare-bottomed mandrill Slyly eyeing his upper nostril If he jumps inside there too I really won't know what to do I'll be a proud possessor of a kind of nasal zoo (A nasal zoo.) I've got a ferret sticking up my nose And what is worse it constantly explodes Ferrets don't explode you say But it happened nine times yesterday And I should know 'cause each time I was standing in the way. _____ Did you want the chords? Sarah
The .44 Magnum Doughnut (semy@msg.ti.com) wrote: : Which came first? : The chicken, the egg or the bacon? They all evolved from a sea of snot. ---Steve (Snot isn't anyones favorite word)
>In article <3r42aa$kcs@hpscit.sc.hp.com>, >papa@boi.hp.com (papa legba) wrote >:I, the cabbage, wrote: >: ...that's quite a big can of baked beans you got. > and I couldn't pass 'em up. I first read this as "and I couldn't pass gas enough."!
When I got on today after a 24 hour abcess, it said I had 144 new articles in alt.stupidity. You guys are real gross, you know that? Fankoo. -- tv's Spatch, father of alt.stupidity and an accident just waiting to happen "Yeah, but bacon tastes good." - Dick York, "I Dream of Jeannie" "There are two things I can't stand, one of them is your mom." - The BOBS "It's conclusive. You WERE dropped on your head." - Liza Daly
In some bacon article stevech@netcom.com (Steve) stated: >You should have jammed the wheel so it wouldn't turn. > >Keylime (gmoriart@kummer.helios.nd.edu) wrote: >: i once bought a hamster. when i put him in his cage for the first time, >: he immediately went to the wheel and began running. a week later, he >: was still running, at which time he died from exhaustion. what a >: stupid hamster. he didn't even stop to sleep or eat. he just ran his >: little heart out. i wonder what he was running from??? You should have shot him right away so he didn't have to suffer. Or maybe not. /^JN - The Anti JN - I hate furry things. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Help me Help me please,
Recently i was letting my pet hamster Plop run up and down my arm when the
little sod ran into my head via my ears. Since then it has been eating
away at my brain. It is sending messages into my brain saying that we the
mutant hamsters are going to conquer the world and they are starting at the
top me.
Watch out wherever you go whatever you do watch it they could be watching
you.
Please mail me if anybody else out there encounters thes viscous animals.
--
_______ ___ ___
| \ \ _ / / Internet. steve@madmark.demon.co.uk
|_______ \ \ / \ / /
| \ \_/ _ \_/ /
______| teve \____/ \____/ hyley Fidonet. 2:2500/179.10
The following song will be the first single from the new tribute CD for former Bacon Sandwiches member and fellow Stupidian Steve Heckman (vehement sack, you have five minutes to figure that out, and then you must kill yourself). The band features members from BS and everybody who's been kicked out of Pearl Jam thus far and is called Temple Up Your Butt. "Hunger Strikes" I don't want garlic bread I need more than sustenance And I can't get a free refill If my cup hasn't been orginally filled Yeah Put it on the table Whatever is cooking Steak and potatoes My stomach's grumbling The butter's on the table And my mouth is waterin' Yeah, I'm fucking hungry Copyright (c) 1995 Up Your Butt and Around the Music (ASCRAP) except where noted. Lyrics used by force and wicked gunplay. All rights reserved. All lefts returned. All wrongs make a right, which, if you'll recall, are reserved. Unauthorized reproduction is prohibited in China. (p), (c), (y), (t), and (l)Laura 1995 Spatula Tonight, Inc. Unauthorized copying, hiring, lending, festering, smoldering, weaseling, hula dancing, Marxist philosophizing, playing backward, public broadcast and performance prohibited. Printed all over the place. This Compact Disc's remarkable performance is the result of magic pixie elves. For the best results, drink a gallon of True Yeti before listening. No further cleaning will be needed if the CD is melted by open flame and thrown out now. Should the Compact Disc become soiled with fingerprints, dust, dirt, mucus, dog feces, human feces, semen, airmen, Mormons, or Richard Lee in can be scraped against a cement wall for an hour. Please note that there may be a decrease in performance quality; this is due to the fact that you have just totally fucked up your CD, Einstein. Do not expose the Compact Disc to direct sunlight, heat, humidity, or Zsa Zsa Gabor for a prolonged period of time. Jason -- who apparently doesn't have anything to do tonight... - - - - - - - - - - The Crappy Homepage >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.htm "It takes a lot to piss me off, but you're getting there." -- ALL - - - - - - - - - -
Europe reference notwithstanding, as of tomorrow around noon, I will be alt.stupid.history for a few months... I'd just like to say that I'll miss you all, even if you are just STOOPID FUCKING MORON ASSHOLES WITH BIG UGLY YELLOW SMELLY TEETH THAT SMELL AND ALSO ARE YELLOW!!!! NOT TO MENTION THAT THEY ARE UGLY AND BIG AT THE SAME TIME!!!!! AND SMELLY!!!! Jason -- who is likely writing one of these for the last time... AND YELLOW!!!!!! AND UGLY!!!!! ..and bacon... sigh... - - - - - - - - - - The Crappy Homepage >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.htm ObQuote >> "It takes a lot to piss me off, but you're getting there." -- ALL a.r.k SuperPowers Codename >> Pants Acquisition Boy - - - - - - - - - -
Yes, Jason is alive and well trying to coax little old ladies into his van with Shoney's coupons... ...he never let's up. cabbage: could very well have a homepage at http://metro.turnpike.net/C/cabbage/index.html
In article <Pine.A32.3.91.950609105551.131622B-100000@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu> "Karl Robert Loeffler (Mad Czech)" <kloeffle@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu> writes:
>Speaking as a concerned Stupidian, this Godzilla fellow is not a
>alt.stupidity regular, and we would hate to see him become so. As a
>matter of fact, we already have a large fire-breathing Japanese-Canadian
>lizard on our group, and he might just have to take Godzilla (if that is
>hios real name) to task if he continues to post here.
You knew it had to be. Hollywood/Japan would never let this one go by the
wayside:
!!!!!!!!!!!!Now Playing at theatres everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RawBacon in Your Face Productions
Presents........
in association with numerous alt.stupidity dieties.....
and several large international consortiums, syndicates and
with the approval of various law enforcement agencies
throughout the South, and with the consent of Rod Stewart...
. . .
"Jeffzilla vs. Godzilla....Tokyo Burns Like Bacon XIV".
<insert kewl Jap music here>
Starring:
Jeffzilla, as himself.
Some guy in a large rubber suit made to look like a large menacing dinosaur as
Godzilla.
Co-Starring in no particular order:
Jason Nafziger as the student who knew too much, so he had to leave.
Anti-JN as the misunderstood Swede who gets eaten by Godzilla.
papa legba as the evil alien from outer space who controls all the
traffic lights in downtown Tokyo, while laughing maniacally and wearing cheap
sunglasses and a spandex running suit with some cheesy badges taped on it to
represent some unknown rank amongst the aliens.
Keylime as the mayor of Tokyo, who says "Oh shit, it's burning again".....
Princess WhiteGoat as the sultry sexually frustrated scientist who develops
the magic cure for what ails Jeffzilla and gets her cookies in the end.
Tortess as Tortess. huh?
Bob Vila as somebody named Yoshijo Fumanaranamamama.
Spatch as Efram Zimbalist Jr. from the FBI.
Magnus M as the General of the Army who gets to send thousands of soldiers to
their fiery hot death in trying to kill Godzilla and Jeffzilla and preventing
them from destroying Tokyo once again.
Vikram as the bus driver who says 'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' as he falls out of the
window when Godzilla picks up the bus.
Phil Ford as the kid who talks to Jeffzilla and learns of Jeffzilla's little
one, spudzilla. They become fast and lasting friends, which pisses robot
Jet Jaguar off immensely, thereby making the plot line hook for a sequel
possible. So if this goes to 'Tokyo Burns Like CornDogs XV'....blame cabbage.
"....the verbal hydra...."
"....the most abusive person on the 'Net."
"ich bin ein berliner"
semy@msg.ti.com
In article <no-kitty@jkllkjgasasggasasg> spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) writes: >In article <1995May30.142223.48653@orion.bsuvc.bsu.edu>, >Life is like a simile... <00skgoodpast@bsuvc.bsu.edu> wrote: >> >>Sabrina -- Who forgot she was on alt.stupidity and should explain all of her >>jokes in simple, no-more-than-two-syllable terms. >Could you please explain that in layman's terms? "Long joke -- no one gets it" *MM -- evolving!
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <3rpvsi$rjj@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca> yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) writes: >>Eoin Maguire (eoin@eoinmag.internet-eireann.ie) wrote: >>: As i write this the ninjas continue to fight for our freedom. >>: We NEED to help them.Already many have fallen and there are now >>: only 65.5 ninjas fighting the 4 Iguanas.Rumour has it that the >>: Iguanas have sent for help from the Paradox clan.This could mean the >>: end of us all. > >> Damn! Let me empty out my toaster and I'll see to those four >>iguanas right away! >> - Jeffzilla (mad and ready to mulch!) > >We might be able to accomplish very fine team work here. > >1st, The Anti-JN pierces them. Shish kebabs standing by! >2nd, Magnus decapitates them. >3rd, Bill blows them to tiny pieces. >4th, Jeffzilla mulches the tiny pieces. > >"Gentlemen, I think we will be able to obtain a complete resolution." > >*MM -- who's forgotten the name of the inventor of HPLC whom he cited. /^JN - The Anti JN - Always ready for some piercing...uh...perhaps not. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Magnus at some rot13 address did a better job: :I have no idea who that is, but I'lll decapitate him. Just in :case. :> /\ :> <> :> <>_|^^^^|_ :> <> @ \ :> /~~\ . . _ | :> /~~~~\ | | :> /~~~~~~\/ _| | :> |[][][]/ / [m] :> |[][][[m] :> |[][][]| No offense, but sometimes your ascii sword doesn't seem to do the job. Let me try: :> /\ ^ :> < > ^ ^| :> <>_|^ _ :> <> \\\|/// \ :> /~~\ .BOOM!! . _ | :> /~~~~\ | | Ratz! I couldn't get all of it. Those damned things can clone, you know... --Bill (out of lines...) -- Bill Wilkinson, 70325,1137@CompuServe.COM. I am not bacon! --Calvin
In some bacon article semy@msg.ti.com (The .44 Magnum Doughnut) stated: >bregalad@core.symnet.net (David Ingram) writes: > >>lizard. >gizzard. blizzard. /^JN - The Anti JN - Behold the seventh commandment: Thou shouldst cascade! -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
cm4bcajs@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (A.J.Smith) writes: :William Wilkinson (wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com) wrote: :: :a) Your head to explode; bean/flintstone remains in nose. :: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ :: Good idea!!!! [snip] :: :Either way, end of problem. :: :-- :: : _\|/_ _\|/_ :: : (o o) A.J.Smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (o o) :: :-=oOOo-(_)-oOOo=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-oOOo-(_)-oOOo-= :: \|/ \|/ :: -POP- -POP- :: (o /|\ o) A.J.Smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (o /|\ o) :: -------------=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-------------- :: Oo o o Oo o o :: o ( ) O o O (_) OO :: O _ :Oh look, my little men must have got Flintstones stuck up their noses... :-- : _\|/_ _\|/_ : (o o) A.J.Smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (o o) :-=oOOo-(_)-oOOo=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-oOOo-(_)-oOOo-= Yikes! Their heads flew back together! Magnus! Help!!! --Bill -- wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com | To be is to do -- Hegel They're my opinions, not your's or | To do is to be -- Marx anybody else's (well, maybe). | Do be do be do -- Sinatra
In some bacon article wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com (William Wilkinson) stated: >cm4bcajs@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (A.J.Smith) writes: > >:William Wilkinson (wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com) wrote: > >:: :a) Your head to explode; bean/flintstone remains in nose. >:: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >:: Good idea!!!! > >[snip] > >:: :Either way, end of problem. >:: :-- >:: : _\|/_ _\|/_ >:: : (o o) A.J.Smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (o o) >:: :-=oOOo-(_)-oOOo=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-oOOo-(_)-oOOo-= > >:: \|/ \|/ >:: -POP- -POP- >:: (o /|\ o) A.J.Smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (o /|\ o) >:: -------------=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-------------- >:: Oo o o Oo o o >:: o ( ) O o O (_) OO >:: O _ > >:Oh look, my little men must have got Flintstones stuck up their noses... >:-- >: _\|/_ _\|/_ >: (o o) A.J.Smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (o o) >:-=oOOo-(_)-oOOo=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-oOOo-(_)-oOOo-= > > >Yikes! Their heads flew back together! Magnus! Help!!! Awaiting action from Magnus I'll try to skewer them... >:-- >: _\|/_ _\|/_ >: <----(+ +)---<< A.J.Smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk >>-----(+ +)-----> >:-=oOOo-(_)-oOOo=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-oOOo-(_)-oOOo-= > >--Bill /^JN - The Anti JN - Going to lose his account on thursday... -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article gerdw@cougar.vut.edu.au (David Gerard) stated: >Carlos "Monsieur le Froggue" May (froggy@praline.no.NeoSoft.com) croaked: >:Lupus Yonderboy (asuter@netcom.com) proclaimed: >::Thus spake stokosa@cae.wisc.edu (Mark James Stokosa): >::>nuke@netcom.com (Jean-Paul Satire) kicked: >::>> Carlos May <froggy@praline.no.NeoSoft.com> wrote: >::>>> Life is like a simile... (00skgoodpast@bsuvc.bsu.edu) wrote: >::>>>:nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: >::>>>:> spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: >::>>>:>> Tjames Madison <tjames@netcom.com> wrote: >::>>>:>>> Lupus Whatsisface scrawled: >::>>>:>>>: Man, IRC is WACKY on the JUNK. >::>>>:>>>IRC is dope like hella fresh FLY! >::>>>:>>Warm it up, Tjames. >::>>>:>Kickin' swass rhymes. >::>>>:Step up and tell it like it is. >::>>>Jass it warm, Cholly! Yer a wampas cat's pyjamas. >::>>L-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-let em know-know-know how it i-i-iiiii-is. >::>Word to YOUR ma. Aww yeaaaah. >::OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJAHH!! The Karate Byeee-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch! >:Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of a cascade? >No, that was who's the slack public dick who's a sex machine w/ all the chicks? Ninja Super Internet Information Highway! >::>>>:>>- spatch, who puts the mack in "mack daddy" - >::>>>:> Jason -- who puts the mack in "daddy mack"... >::>>>:Sabrina -- who puts the mack in "mack trucks"(?) >::>>>Froggy -- who puts the mack in "mack sennet" >::>>Bill, who puts the mack in "mack sedroom". >::>Mark, who puts the Elle in "mack pherson". >::Lupus -- who puts the mack in "mack donalds" >:Froggy -- who also takes the mack out of "mack carthy" >Rev Dr David, who puts the mack around "mack attack" /^JN - The Anti JN - Who puts the mack in "mackerel". -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ To: kloeffle@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu Subject: Re: Mad Czech Alert! Mad Czech Alert! Newsgroups: alt.stupidity In-Reply-To: <3vtklb$1qam@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu> Organization: The strangest place Cc: Bcc: In alt.stupidity you write: >Fellow Stupidians, lend me your bedpans! Uhm... I'm using mine at the moment...I'll send it when I'm through with it. >I am so sorry that I have so rarely frequented THE froup in the last few >months, but I beg your pardon, and your bedpans, for I have been sorely >afflicted with a strange ailment known in these environs as "work." It >struck me only days after I had left the fine institute of higher >education which I had been attending for the past six years. Callously >and without remorse, this terrible disease struck me down. Ah, yes, that very same illness has strucken me down, but I was lucky enough to contract a case of vacation after only two weeks. I hope you'll be as lucky. >In any case, I have fought it tooth and nail and now I finally have been >able to escape it for a few short hours, if only to tell all of you that >I am leaving for three weeks to the Great Frozen North. That's right, I'm >headed for the Land of Jeffzilla, although actually I'm going to a >different province. In two weeks I will be saying my wedding vows in the >only fortified city in North America. My Quebeboise fiancee and I will be >leaving SLO, CA for three weeks. *gasp* Now that is a _serious_ disease. Get help, or else you'll end up hitched. > I only hope I will still be here when I >return, ie... I hope my former institute of higher learning doesn't >figure out that I have moved on to browner pastures and kick me out of my >account. > >Unfortunately, when I return, the dread disease "work" is sure to strike >me with unrelenting fury, eager to take revenge on me for having escaped >its clutches for a meager three weeks. I will be forced to take a REAL >job, not the penny-ante one I currently am fighting. Oh well, misery >comes to us all eventually. Yeah, I got a visit from misery just last week. But she didn't wnat to go all the way. >With Spatch's blessings, hopefully I will be speaking to you all again >within two fortnight's time. >That's Canadian lingo. I'm practicing. >Love all, >Mad Czech-who thinks rarely frequented is an oxymoron. Have fun, say hello to the wife (or soon to be wife) and drop in on us sometime in the future. Then you can send in a post reminiscing over "the good old days" and flame newbies for not knowing the froups ancient history... /^JN - Anti JN - *sniffle* who's getting emotional...*snif* -- ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article dat95mbr@ludat.lth.se (Martin Bruce) stated: >Ha hA HA ha ........ Ehh...I disawow any knowledge of the person that posted this. Obviously, as you can see from his userid (dat95mbr) he is a later and inferior version of Computer Science student. Damn those first year students... /^JN - The Anti JN - A superior version. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <3rp84v$80l@bs33n.staffs.ac.uk> cm4bcajs@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (A.J.Smith) writes: >>Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: >>: In article <konnie.164.0012E5FC@halcyon.com> konnie@halcyon.com (Dinky LaLa) >>writes: >>: >In article <Pine.SUN.3.91.950612213614.13136C-100000@altair.herts.ac.uk> >>: >Mircalla <kst2gu@herts.ac.uk> writes: >>: >>From: Mircalla <kst2gu@herts.ac.uk> >>: >>Subject: Re: Advice >>: >>Date: Mon, 12 Jun 1995 21:37:05 +0100 > >>: >>On 11 Jun 1995, Gigglenose wrote: >>: >>> Michael Wimble (mike_wimble@taligent.com) wrote: >>: >>> : I could use some advice. What do you have? >>: >>> >>: >>> Never put a bean up your nose. >>: >>> >>: >>> -Marlan-who would never admit that he knows that from experience. > >>: >>Never put cake up your nose either. My brother once did that and was too >>: >>young to realise he wouldn't be able to breathe.. Lucy he had a mouth >>really. > >>: >Never put a cookie up your nose - IF YOU HAD A COOKIE. > >>: Never put a ftp, ping, ipconfig, finger, telnet, or pctcpcfg up your >>: nose either. > >>What about an IRC? >>You could have an IRC, set up your nose. >>-- >My nose crashed, that is, it isn't running. There's something wrong >with its operating system. Hmmm...it isn't running MicroSniffle DOS ? >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - Who has Ultrix-32 running on his nose. On a 40MB HD. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
FOR SALE: 10 used hiccups... only $3 each... only had 1 previous owner... :) > z' ..uu. $b $b < x"b . ?$""`?i . $f $f . > . f`8 :$f `M .@" ..uu. d9b :$ :S d9b < U8 < oR. XM 'Z :#" ?$""`?i M `8 tM tM M `8 > $5. $ $b @ '&H?` 'M X ,oR MR MR X ,oR < 'f`$L M ?R R #`*L |C |RP' $b 8| 8| |RP' $b > X "NXF `E 'f | 5. `M $' ?X @' @' $' ?X < M "$$ ' `~ I 'M ?$. d$ `E W W d$ `E > " ` k `h `~ "' ' |R .. |R .. "' ' < % `. '$o*"' '$o*"' > < http://metro.turnpike.net/M/mircalla/index.html
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I'm on a mission from God! But.....um..... I can't seem to remember what it is. Maybe I'm supposed to rid the world of bacon..... no.... that's not right.... I just stopped by this newsfroup because it looked like the lights were on, and I kinda hoped someone here could help me remember what the mission is...You can, right? - The Raven - "In the dark, no one can see you scream."
Raven Blackthorn (RRTS14C@prodigy.com) wrote: : I'm on a mission from God! But.....um..... I can't seem to remember : what it is. Maybe I'm supposed to rid the world of bacon..... no.... : that's not right.... I just stopped by this newsfroup because it looked : like the lights were on, and I kinda hoped someone here could help me : remember what the mission is...You can, right? I will if you tell me what "ambivalence" means. - Jeffzilla (who is on a similar mission but it has more to do with something else than whatever)
Now available in paperback. Read about the imminent clash of Bill and his legion of clones as they do battle with the evil ninjas while suffering under an extreme identity crisis. Thrill to the adventures of Magnus and the Anti-JN as they escape from Sabrina's Castle of Tinsel where they were imprisoned for the piercing and decapitating of her favourite simile. Weep at the passing of Stupidian heroes Mad Czech, Flapjack, Nafziger, Linsel Green and the Urban Goddess as they disappear from the hallowed halls of Stupidity, where only the stupidest would return. Discover Princess Whitegoat's evil secret and the curse which forces her to oink and wear a spandex pig suit with the words "Bacon Incarnate" painted on the back. Ponder the reasons why Ross the Big Frog won't ask for that magical kiss from the Princess which will restore himself to his former Princely stature (hint: it has something to do with the pig suit). Revel in the bizarre twist of fate which will cause Tortess to switch her coffee with Mircalla's Folger's Crystals, and why Mircalla works part time at the neighbourhood IDA even though the manager there smells like Absorbine Jr. Shout with glee as JJ is reunited with his long-lost porcupine who had suffered under many bizarre travels in the nether regions of the human anatomy. Ejaculate with embarrassment as papa legba and Spatch vie for Godliness on Alt.Stupiddidiidity in a rousing all-night game of Simon Says in which Sarah had them clean her room. And realize why, in the beginning there was the word. And the word was Mulch! $7.95 ($8.95 in Canada). Jeffzilla Press. Toronto. Copywrite 1995.
I forgot to mention in the Book of Moron Teenage Vampire that Cabbage is the one who finally destroys the Temple of Bob Vila. Sorry. - Jeffzilla (will have to work on a rewrite)
He's the one in The Book of Moron Teenage Vampire who reveals the contents of his fridge, much to the horror of his one-armed lab assistant and his big-chested nurse (who could never get an accurate reading of his pulse). - Jeffzilla (never going to publish anything again)
In article <3r748g$mtt@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >Jeffery Shidei (yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca) wrote: >: Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: >: : : Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm the evil Jeffzilla and I have vowed to destroy >: : : everybody's favourite words! Watch me mulch Steve's banana! (Actually >: : : that sounds kind of kinky!) Mulch! Mulch! Mulch! >: : : Good-bye "kumquats"! Yer history....Mulch! Mulch! Mulch! >: : : Save your tinsel and your cruellers 'cuz they're both gonna need it! >: : : Too late! Mega-mulch!! >: : : Even papa's favorite "favorite" is dust beneath my mulching >: : : toes! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! >: : : Jeffzilla (who's REAL favourite word should be "prozac") >: : My cruellers can stand up to your mulch any day. Sure they may get all >dirty >: : and stuff, but it's okay, their glazing will protect them, for they are >MIGHTY >: Ha! You said the same thing about your guinea pig but I >: mulched him like no one's business. Glazed though he was. >: Mighty Morphin' Power Cruellers! Eat my shorts! >: - Jeffzilla (still mulching) >that wasn't my porcupine, it was my crueller. >crueller, you hear me? crueler! >Huh? cruler. what's going on here? >cruleh. culeh. NOOOOOO. >muleh. >mulch mulch mulch. >Damn you, Jefzilla, Damn you! >Ross--who's really just laying low so he can strike back, but don't tell >anyone. HEY EVERYBODY! ROSS'S JUST LAYING LOW SO HE CAN STRIKE BACK!! Nyah. Nyahnyahnyah! *MM
In article <DA2Ky0.6MM@midway.uchicago.edu>, lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: |> In article <3rhi8r$mrt@news.uit.no>, |> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: |> >In article <DA29MD.9GB@midway.uchicago.edu>, lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: |> >|> For every Ninja you don't see, there are three more Ninjas you |> >|> don't see. |> > |> >But what if you're in a room where there is only room for 3 people, and one |> >of them is you, and the rest is ninjas? How can all the other ninjas fit inside |> >then? |> |> I don't know but it might be painful. Ah, but I know the answer to that one: Cod! Dried cod! Hah! Simple, wasn't it? \Per
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : >We might be able to accomplish very fine team work here. : > : >1st, The Anti-JN pierces them. : Shish kebabs standing by! : >2nd, Magnus decapitates them. : >3rd, Bill blows them to tiny pieces. : >4th, Jeffzilla mulches the tiny pieces. Heck, I'm in for it. I guess we're just waiting for Bill and Bill and Bill and Bill and Bill (damn all his clones!) to agree and then we can all hop on a bus and go iguana bashing. What do ya say Bill et al? - Jeffzilla (polishing his feet for the final demise of the iguanas ... and perhaps some not-so-fleet-footed ninjas)
In article <3rpvsi$rjj@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca> yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) writes: >Eoin Maguire (eoin@eoinmag.internet-eireann.ie) wrote: >: As i write this the ninjas continue to fight for our freedom. >: We NEED to help them.Already many have fallen and there are now >: only 65.5 ninjas fighting the 4 Iguanas.Rumour has it that the >: Iguanas have sent for help from the Paradox clan.This could mean the >: end of us all. > Damn! Let me empty out my toaster and I'll see to those four >iguanas right away! > - Jeffzilla (mad and ready to mulch!) We might be able to accomplish very fine team work here. 1st, The Anti-JN pierces them. 2nd, Magnus decapitates them. 3rd, Bill blows them to tiny pieces. 4th, Jeffzilla mulches the tiny pieces. "Gentlemen, I think we will be able to obtain a complete resolution." *MM -- who's forgotten the name of the inventor of HPLC whom he cited.
In article <3r4sqf$lvh@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: >: I >: *MM -- who thinks he just wrote the shortest known follow-up. >Ross--who just wrote one shorter This is an important question. Can nothing be short? I mean, nothing is nothing is nothing. It can have no length, and since it has no length, it can't be longer or shorter than something that has. AIMS? *MM -- who feels like sinking into something fluffy.
In some bacon article Eleanor Candee stated: >Today in school, a girl did something really stupid. >Our teacher was reading a story, and I heard a >grunt behind me. I slowly turned around and saw >the girl reaching up into her dress. Naturally, this >was way more interesting than our teacher's story, >so like everyone else, I decided to watch. She >finally, took her nylons off. She had been grunting >and groaning the entire time, and every boy was >looking straight at her white underwear with >little pink flowers and red hearts. Call that stupid >or what! Or what. > Eleanor /^JN - The Anti JN - I wouldn't thought it stupid if I could watch... -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Damien James Leer (dleer@lawson.its.utas.edu.au) wrote: : In article <mike_wimble-0806951357200001@pip.taligent.com>, mike_wimble@taligent.com (Michael Wimble) writes: : > : >I could use some advice. What do you have? : Never pick your nose with the you use to eat with(unless you like boogers) You made more sense when all you said was "oink." -papa
In article <3r8obf$ol8@newsbf02.news.aol.com> mandmblue@aol.com (MandMBlue) writes: >THERE'S A HOUSE IN PISPALA > a play in one act by Christopher Clark Rectified by Magnus Mulqvist >CAST OF CHARACTERS: The Anti-JN Magnus Mulqvist MandMBlue >SETTING: >Outside somewherever. >SCENE ONE >OPENING: Magnus borrows a longsword from Anti -JN. Walks calmly to MandMBlue. *chop* THE END
Hi Spatch, you're back! And so Am I! I think it would be proper to celebrate this by poeting a little poem! Hey ho hey ho let's watch the spatulas go into the frying pan oh no Hey Ho Hey Ho Hey Ho ho Ho Hey Ho Hey Ho Hey Ho HEY HO! \Per
I call this one "Cat Eulogy"... A-hem..... My cat just puked a hairball in the hall. So I threw him to our neighbor's dogs. I've never seen him so excited. Thank you.
. It's right up there. Don't use it too often. --Bill -- Bill Wilkinson, 70325,1137@CompuServe.COM. Stupid Idiot and Patron Saint of Something on alt.stupidity. I am not bacon! --Calvin
Yes, Poop Dreams, the inspiring story of two constipated inner-city kids who have aspirations of a triumphant someday on the toilet. A 3-hour documentary that will move your spirits as well as your bowels. That's "Poop Dreams", the movie that was snubbed by the Academy Awards, which refused to nominate it this year, instead giving nods to "Four Floaters And a Sinker", "The Shawshank Defecation", and "Forrest Dump". See if before Jesse Helms buys all the available copies for his own masturbatory purposes! -- tv's Spatch, father of alt.stupidity and an accident just waiting to happen "Yeah, but bacon tastes good." - Gabe Kaplan, "Barney Miller" "Hakuna Matata, Jay. It means five billion worldwide!" - Nathan Lane It's a fact! Ze Stupid Homepage is at: http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
William Wilkinson (wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com) wrote: : cm4bcajs@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (A.J.Smith) writes: : :cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: : :: Never put a Flintstone vitamin up yer nose either. : : _\|/_ _\|/_ : : (o o) A.J.Smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (o o) : :-=oOOo-(_)-oOOo=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-oOOo-(_)-oOOo-= : :After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in? (Steven Wright) : \|/ \|/ : -POP- -POP- : (o /|\ o) A.J.Smith@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk (o /|\ o) : -------------=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-------------- : Oo o o Oo o o : o ( ) O o O (_) OO : O _ : --Bill It's still pretty cool.
In some bacon article cabbage stated:
>>In article <3r9sms$kcd@cronkite.ocis.temple.edu>,
>>joewest@astro.ocis.temple.edu (Joseph West) asked the generic question:
>
>> How do you post on this board anyway?
>
> Well, write what you want on a piece of state-funded toilet paper.
> Then stick your finger in your doo-doo maker, wipe your finger with
> the message, then flush the message down the toilet. Will show up on
> the board in no time.
^^
Shouldn't this be "at"?
/^JN - The Anti JN - Who's going to try it later.
--
#### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> #####
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <sanderDA6Kqo.9Ew@netcom.com> sander@netcom.com (Sarah Anderson) writes: >Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: >: In article <3rkvrv$39n@Sequoia.picosof.com> paul@llama.net (Paul Kautz) >writes: >: >In article <vtkk.v1wki.1119.00C89883@elvi.vtkk.fi>, >: >Magnus Mulqvist <vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi> wrote: >: >>*MM -- who's gonna jump in the water and stay drunk all the time. >: > ^^^^^ >: >You misspelled `drowned'. >: In this newsfroup we never misspell, hence your follow-up is of >: no rational meaning. Sie sind ein sonderbarer Kautz. >Doo dah, doo dah. >Sarah-- who's in that kind of mood. In this newsfroup we always doodah, hence your follow-up is of rational meaning. Sie sind eine wunderbare Anderson. *MM
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated:
>mmmmmmhhhhhhh!
Ahh......
>--Bill (who will regret it Thursday morning...)
/^JN - The Anti JN - Who won't regret it until friday morning when the
roof-repairmen starts pounding on the roof.
--
#### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> #####
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated:
>sander@netcom.com (Sarah Anderson) writes:
>>Jeffery Shidei (yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca) wrote:
>>: Mongo Mongo Man (dgilmor@bgsuvax.bgsu.edu) wrote:
>
>>: : So who in celbritydom/starville is most muppet-esque? Who could pass for
>>: : a muppet? Other than those of us on a.t.m., of course. I fully expect
>>: : that when I meet Danny, he will actually be a trash heap. :)
>
>>: I kind of thought that Ronald Reagen had all the distinct
>>: facial features of a muppet-in-waiting. I thought he would have looked
>>: a lot cooler if they gave him googly-eyes like the kind that Cookie
>>: Monster has.
>>: -Jeffzilla (C is for cookie, blah,blah,blah...)
>
>>I'd say Ross Perot, but it was so obvious, they already did him. So I
>>guess Ross Garmil. Or David Schwimmer.
>
>>Sarah (Canta; canta una cancion....)
>
>What, Santa's got cancer??
YES! That's great! The fat redclad bugger has stolen his last toy
>from innocent children!
>*MM
/^JN - The Anti JN - Got lots of toys stolen from him when he was a
child. Funny though, my brothers always got
toys that looked just like the ones I had stolen...
--
#### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> #####
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: : >sander@netcom.com (Sarah Anderson) writes: : >>Jeffery Shidei (yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca) wrote: : >>: Mongo Mongo Man (dgilmor@bgsuvax.bgsu.edu) wrote: : > : >>: : So who in celbritydom/starville is most muppet-esque? Who could pass for : >>: : a muppet? Other than those of us on a.t.m., of course. I fully expect : >>: : that when I meet Danny, he will actually be a trash heap. :) : > : >>: I kind of thought that Ronald Reagen had all the distinct : >>: facial features of a muppet-in-waiting. I thought he would have looked : >>: a lot cooler if they gave him googly-eyes like the kind that Cookie : >>: Monster has. : >>: -Jeffzilla (C is for cookie, blah,blah,blah...) : > : >>I'd say Ross Perot, but it was so obvious, they already did him. So I : >>guess Ross Garmil. Or David Schwimmer. : > : >>Sarah (Canta; canta una cancion....) : > : >What, Santa's got cancer?? : YES! That's great! The fat redclad bugger has stolen his last toy : from innocent children! Yeah, but I bet he'll get his liver transplant even faster than Mickey Mantle. Ross--who wonders if that was tasteless. : >*MM : /^JN - The Anti JN - Got lots of toys stolen from him when he was a : child. Funny though, my brothers always got : toys that looked just like the ones I had stolen... : -- : #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### : # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # : # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # : ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article Spatch stated: > >- spatch, who's really gotta bring a .sig back - Hey, will this one do? It's a bit old and scratched, but it still works: >-- > _ spatula@twain.ucs.umass.edu - FBB Forklift Driver > |X| "WAITER!" /^JN - The Anti JN - Self appointed archivist of Alt.Stupidity. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: :Deathboy (tmoore@charm.net) wrote: :: <cool corn chowder recipe from steve> :: But don't you want to thicken the liquid with a roux or corn starch, :: or does the potatoes and corn thicken it naturally? :: Deathboy :: you can make fun of my name all you want! :Neat. Hey guys, look at Deathboy. Did you die today, huh Deathboy!!!! :Yeah, I bet he died, he, um...probably....died. :Oh, now it's no fun. Thanks a lot, Deathboy. Hey, Deathboy. Do you know Skip Stevenson? He's dead too. He's also decomposer for the Bacon Sandwiches. Spatch keeps him in his fridge. --Bill -- wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com | To be is to do -- Hegel They're my opinions, not your's or | To do is to be -- Marx anybody else's (well, maybe). | Do be do be do -- Sinatra
Especially the salty ones. /^JN - The Anti JN - (Only the salty ones) -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <3rppg7$3pk@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: -A.J.Smith (cm4bcajs@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk) wrote: -: Mircalla (kst2gu@herts.ac.uk) wrote: -: : On 11 Jun 1995, Gigglenose wrote: -: : > Michael Wimble (mike_wimble@taligent.com) wrote: -: : > : I could use some advice. What do you have? -: : > -: : > Never put a bean up your nose. -: : > -: : > -Marlan-who would never admit that he knows that from experience. - -: : Never put cake up your nose either. My brother once did that and was too -: : young to realise he wouldn't be able to breathe.. Lucy he had a mouth really. - -: I once was eating raw carrots and someone made me laugh. Huge chunks of -: carrot came -down- my nose. Sick, but true. Isn't the human body -: wonderful. I bet God (ooh, controv) thought, "I know, I'll make it so's -: if they laugh whilst eating carrot, huge chunks'll come shooting out." - -Ah, you've discovered snarfing. One time I snarfed a piece of pastrami. Got -stuck in my nasal passage. Eventually I was able to snort it down back into -my mouth. No, I don't think I ate it, but it really really hurt. Enjoy your -lunch, everybody. Once, I was eating a large hunk of cheddar cheese, and I sneezed while it was in my mouth. This got it wedged pretty hard up in my nose -- it was too big to come out the nostril. As I was thinking about ways to get it out, I was reminded of the movie _Total Recall_, where Arnold sticks the thing up his nose and pulls the homing device out of his brain. And I thought, hey, if it's good enough for the movies, it's good enough for me! Unfortunately, I could not find my pickle picker (which would have been perfect). So I just kept swallowing for a while, and snorted, too, until it unwedged. Then I managed to get the thing down the back-end of my throat. It must have taken weeks to digest. The moral of the story is: never eat big hunks of cheese when you have unstable sinuses. -- Gozer "Paul" Kautz (jhoffa@llama.net): Inventor, Statesman, Chair; July 15
In some bacon article stevech@netcom.com (Steve) stated: >cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: >: >In article <3rf6qs$pg@nic-nac.CSU.net>, >: >marsmith@isc.sjsu.edu (Gigglenose) advised: > >: >>Michael Wimble (mike_wimble@taligent.com) wrote: >: >> I could use some advice. What do you have? > >: > Never put a bean up your nose. > > >: Never put a Flintstone vitamin up yer nose either. > >: Especially Fred. > > >: >-Marlan-who would never admit that he knows that from experience. > > >: cabbage: who then tried to get it out by shooting snot spray up >: his nostrils. > >And NEVER sniff super glue! And NEVER sniff "sweet-n-lo"! /^JN - The Anti JN - Who knows from experience and admits it. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Sarah Anderson (sander@netcom.com) wrote: : ...I will have had the sniffles for an entire month. : *sniff* She'll have lots of snot, Tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, She'll be clogged. But like it or not, Tomorrow If you're out of tissues you must borrow, A full box. When I think of a nose That blows Constantly I just take lots of drugs, The plugs Clear uuuuuuup. Oh, if your sinuses ail, Tomorrow Better buy some Sinufed for tomorrow It's on saaaaaale. Tomorrow Tomorrow Blow your nose, Tomorrow And throw all the snot away, Tomorrow, Tomorrow Feel better, Tomorrow Please have no Post Naaaa-saaaaaal Driiiiiiiiiip.
In article <40rnfo$d4d$1@mhafn.production.compuserve.com>,
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote:
* In my Big Book Of Words, it shows that Indo-European devolved
* in one path to GERMANIC, North Germanic, and then into the
* following: Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, and Icelandic.
*
* On the *OTHER* hand, I-E *ALSO* devolved into:
*
* GERMANIC
* West Germanic
* Low German
* English
* American
Don't forget:
INDO-EUROPEAN
INDO-IRANIAN
Indic
Sanskrit
Urdu and Punjabi
or
INDO-EUROPEAN
Armenian
(gratuitous obsolete grep trigger)
* Now, who do *YOU* think rates better on the alt.stupidity
* scale???
There is no `better'. There is only `do' and `do not'.
- Yoda
* OUCH!!! I've suddenly become lighter!!!
Whups! Must be that force acting up again.
--
Ralph
My back hurts, and yet it's Spatch's European Vacation Journal Previously, in SEVJ, Spatch was arrested, Spatch was released and regained his clothes, Spatch met an armed dentist, Spatch escaped through a parade float. And now, Spatch's European Vacation Journal DAY 8 (at least) Today, I woke up with an oxygen mask on. I was in a small room with several others, all with oxygen masks. I was then explained my situation -- I was accompanying these fugitives as they smuggled themselves out of Denmark inside a parade balloon. If I didn't want to go, I would have to be killed, because we couldn't have me talking about it or anything. Luckily, I had some fruit, which would at least let me make the most of the smuggling. Besides, I needed to get to France to obtain my luggage. Along we floated. The entire time, a constantly changing group would be playing Parcheesi -- when one person won or dropped out, anther would take their place. Fortunately, I was pretty good at that game, and gained their respect enough that they allowed me to jump out, without any protection, wherever the hell we were. Thinking fast, I passed out. I knew they wouldn't throw an unconscious man out of a moving balloon! -- Paul "Ralph" Kautz, D. Lun.
tv's Spatch (spatula@gecko.concorde.com) wrote: : In article <3qtr3e$7ss@ixnews3.ix.netcom.com>, : Gwyneth Kozbial <gkozbial@ix.netcom.com> wrote: : > : >My current fave word is "Petula"... say it aloud, and let it ring from : >every hill and dale! Petula! Petula! Petula! : Say it loud and there's music playing, say it soft and it's just like : praying. : Petuuuuuuuuuuuuula! : (a shadowy echoing reply: petuuuuuuuuuuuuula!) Oh boy, now that Flapjack's gone we're changing musicals. But I bet he'd be upset, and then we can sing "Gee Officer Flapjack" Deeeeeear kindly Mister Flapjack I think Guys and Dolls is neat But you get caught up in a trapjack A dead horse we have beat. It's not I'm anit-Loesser But I feel it's time I spoke Dammit, Flapjack, I need a new joke. Gee Officer Flapjack You gotta agree There's only so much Guys and Dolls we can parody Gee Officer Flapjack You're not really a cop But all the Runyon jokes have stopped They have stopped! They have stopped, they have stopped, they were once on top, But all the guys and dolls jokes now have stopped. Well, I do miss Guys and Dolls, but I figured that West Side is cool too and we could use a purging. Ross--who feels purged.
In article <1995Jun3.224543.48812@orion.bsuvc.bsu.edu>, Life is like a simile... <00skgoodpast@bsuvc.bsu.edu> wrote: >In article <3qo2p5$t4c@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca>, yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) writes: > >> - Jeffzilla (hopes everyone hear is on bad terms with >> the S.P.C.A) > ^^^^^^^ > >Hey... wasn't that a Village People song? S.P.C.A! It's fun to piss off the S.P.C.A-ay! You can torture a cat! You can deep-fry a dog! You can have sex with a big hog! Uh, no, it wasn't. -- tv's Spatch, father of alt.stupidity and an accident just waiting to happen "Yeah, but bacon tastes good." - Gabe Kaplan, "Barney Miller" "You see, here at Taco Bell, every day is a new day." - 'Roger & Me' It's a fact! Ze Stupid Homepage is at: http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
My favorite word has to be *splork*.......
Try it.
You tried it, didn'tcha?
C'mon........just one little *splork*............
But to do it absolutely right, you need to thump your cheek when you say it
and give it that 'drop of water into the bucket' sound.
Yeah. Like that.
*splork*.
"....the verbal hydra...."
"....the most abusive person on the 'Net."
"ich bin ein berliner"
semy@msg.ti.com
In article <Pine.SUN.3.91.950606214105.27320B-100000@altair.herts.ac.uk> Mircalla <kst2gu@herts.ac.uk> writes:
> ,. ,.
> `| / ,-. ,-,-. ,-. . ,-. ,-.
> | / ,-| | | | | | | | |-'
> `' `-^ ' ' ' |-' ' ' `-'
> | ,-,-,-. . .
> ' `,| | | . ,-. ,-. ,-. | | ,-. <\
> | ; | . | | | ,-| | | ,-| >\
> ' `-' ' ' `-' `-^ `' `' `-^ >\
> ,-------------------------------------------------------------{o}_______/|
>< -================================================>:::{@}///////////]
> `-------------------------------------------------------------{o}~~~~~~~\|
> >/
> _________________________________ >/
> /\ kst2gu@herts.ac.uk \ </
> \_| mircalla@cyberspace.org |
> | HOME PAGE:- |
> | http://www.herts.ac.uk/~kst2gu |
> | _____________________________|_
I have no idea what that is, but I'll decapitate it. Just in case.
<\
>\
>\
,-------------------------------------------------------------{o}>
< -================================================>:::{@}//>
`-------------------------------------------------------------{o}>
>/
>/
</
*MM
In article <3r0290$o54@ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>, Michael K. Biernacki <porayb@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >"Take One" boxes are so easy to place that "even a child can do it". >Can be displayed in any heavy walk-in traffic locations : laundromats, >dry cleaners, gas stations, convenience stores, food take outs, etc. >Ads in local newspapers and tabloids also bring excellent response. >Once the locations are estabilished it's enough to check on them once >a month. I dunno about you, but every time I see a box labeled "Take One" I usually invariably end up taking the box itself. Maybe this is why I feel sometimes like life is just one big Archie comic and I'm Big Moose. -- tv's Spatch, father of alt.stupidity and an accident just waiting to happen "Yeah, but bacon tastes good." - Gabe Kaplan, "Barney Miller" "You see, here at Taco Bell, every day is a new day." - 'Roger & Me' It's a fact! Ze Stupid Homepage is at: http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
As a terrorist skulker in your newsdroup, I have some demands for you people: 1. Stop posting in German. 2. Make Spatch post more. 3. Bring back Tortess. 4. Bring back Jason Nafzinger. 5. Bring back Flapjack. 6. Bring back Keylime. 7. Make me the official terrorist skulker of alt.stupidity. 8. Do a thing where the iguanas corn all the ninjas and I eunucize all of them. 9. Kill Godzilla. If these demands are not met within 72:69:54:14 hours, I will rig a garden weasel onto the newsgroup. If the group gets over 20 messages per hour, the garden weasel will be activated. If the group's messages per hour drop under 20, the garden weasel will mulch Steve Case. Hehehehhehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehh. j.r. labrat and skulker and labrat and podiatrist and headhunter and labrat.
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <95165.175526IO10781@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> <IO10781@MAINE.MAINE.EDU> writes: > >>THis has to be the stupidest group around. > >No THis has not, THis is that by THis's own free willy, and that is why THis >is soo cool. > >*MM -- who's wondering how one gets "THis" from "alt.stupidity" s/alt.stupidity/THis/g /^JN - The Anti JN - Trying to pick up that girl but failing, miserably. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article gkozbial@ix.netcom.com (Gwyneth Kozbial ) stated: >Well'p... since we're all nominating ourselves for religious icons, as >it were, I'd like to put myself on the platform to be the Madonna... >My qualifications: > 1) Being the WHITEGoat, I'm good and clean and pure enough... 0:} > 2) My house has a bacon rack... > 3) I'm good with numbers... > 4) Being a WhiteGOAT, I'm comforatable in stables... > 5) I look good on an altar (oops... perhaps I shouldn't've > mentioned that one...)... > Your humble spiritual servant... > Princess WhiteGoat You're hired! /^JN - St. Anti - APSt. of TWHCFTWC and W. of SAS -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Found in the 'Net... "As a child, I used to catch baby toads in the drainage ditch near my home and pile them into a bucket. When the bucket was filled, I'd bring the toads home and the festivities would begin. I did everything with those toads from creating toad towns to toad roads to toad Olympics. Often, I would line up 3 to 5 toads and have a race. The toad which crossed the finish line last would have to pay for the defeat with a show of aerial acrobatics. In other words, I'd throw the poor loser high in the air and watch as it came back down to earth. Few lived to tell the tale. More than once, I resorted to punishing the losers by placing them in my toy cap gun and squeezing the trigger. I can still picture their pink little tongues popping out of their mouths after impact. Now that I am older and a pacifist, I regret my evil deeds as a young boy and wish to make amends by honoring all those dead toads with a Virtual Burial." Steven Hoffman, http://www.lavamind.com/pet.html -- Nothing burps like bacon! -Ed O'Neill, "driving me crazy"
I know my timing is suspiciously academic-calendar, but I'm NOT on summer vacation. I am being held hostage by a law office in mid-town manhattan. They won't let me go home until I submit to something caled "The Trial." I have refused for three months now. But I don't know how much longer I can hold out. Sendd cheese, crackers and motor oil. Thanks. -- Gesundheit.
In article <3s2529$80f@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca> yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) writes: >Per Harald Myrvang (perm@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote: > >: |> Hmm, I'd have to go with Saved by the Bell >: Shaved by the Bell? That's disgusting! > I'd say that "The Bob Vila Home Repair" trilogy is pretty >stupid. I mean, if he did it right the first time, why is he doing it >over and over again? He gets laid on an hourly basis. Oops! paid. *MM
umbagaumbagaumbagaum
gilly dun tyne and
stick it up ya bum
as tres de hun de bum
triddle diddle dum
de dum de dum dum dum
This song was based on a TRUE story about the late umbagaumbagaumbagaum who
died because the fat human race would not answer his crys for help when his
ship was been attacked by that woman with the funny name..
And a short message from umbagaumbagaumbagaum's brother brother of
umbagaumbagaumbagaum..you divs next time a meteor is going to hit your
planet im going to leave it!
---
In article <meow-kitty@jkkljsagsagsg>, spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: >In article <stevechD9o0BD.8Ar@netcom.com>, Steve <stevech@netcom.com> wrote: >>: - Jeffzilla (still likes the word "mulch") >> >>---Steve (banannabanannabnanaanbanannabanannabanannabnanannabananna) >> > >Gronk gronk gronk gronk gronk gronk gronk gronk gronk gronk gronk gronk gronk Undies undies undies undies undies undies undies undies undies undies undies undies undies undies undies Jason -- who's sorry to bring that up again. - - - - - - - - - - The Crappy Homepage >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.htm ObQuote >> "It takes a lot to piss me off, but you're getting there." -- ALL a.r.k SuperPowers Codename >> Pants Acquisition Boy - - - - - - - - - -
cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: : Okay, it can be real or imagined. Mine would have to be ...about this kid that gets left behind every time his family goes on vacation. Every time it happens he gets mixed up with these two stupid cons, and hits them with paint cans and irons and stuff, and sometime during the movie his family realizes he's gone and they all make a mad dash to get back home because the phones don't work and stuff, and then at the end of the movie the family decides he isn't such a bad kid after all. In my imagination the third movie hasn't been made yet, but the plot is pretty much the same. I got another one about this kid that learns karate from a scrupulous old Japanese fellow, but i haven't developed the plot yet. -papa, who can't think of a word that has more u's in it than scrupulous.
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : > - Jeffzilla (bitter about something but doesn't know what) : Try Bob Vila, always works for me. Now I remember what I'm bitter about. My Bob Vila Pez dispenser is broken. I guess I'll just have to pull back the real Bob Vila and demand my Pez from him from now on. - Jeffzilla (got a sweet tooth the size of Montana)
Jeffery Shidei (yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca) wrote: : Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : : : I think what he meant to say was: "Nobody ethers my fruit flies."... : : : I understand what a problem this can pose... them drosophilia can grow : : : up to be bad ol' cowboys if not properly sedated... : : : Yuppie-yi-yi-yupppie, yuppie-yi-yi-yo... : : : Princess WhiteGoat : : I don't get it. : : Ross--who was following along up until now. : Nobody still gets what I'm writing. This absolutely bites! No, wait, I got that. : I'm gonna open up this computer and see what's buggering this : system up. Ok, still with ya. <Grunt> Got that <Lift> Looking good. <SMASH!!!> Ooh, that must hurt. <Thump> Yes, Tom Hanks stars in the sequel we've all been waiting for--Bambi II, Forrest Thump. : All right. Who's porcupine is this? Actually it's more of a hedgehog. SEGA : - Jeffzilla (should have worn gloves) I don't get it. Ross---who really had it there for a minute.
In article <3r2umv$c8q@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca>, Jeffery Shidei <yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca> wrote: > I'm gonna open up this computer and see what's buggering this >system up. <Grunt> <Lift> <SMASH!!!> <Thump> First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going to write to Netscape and tell 'em what I think of these stupid new tags. -- tv's Spatch, father of alt.stupidity and an accident just waiting to happen "Yeah, but bacon tastes good." - Gabe Kaplan, "Barney Miller" "You see, here at Taco Bell, every day is a new day." - 'Roger & Me' It's a fact! Ze Stupid Homepage is at: http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In some bacon article spatula@gecko.concorde.com stated: >In article <3qrc0t$1kt@cam.its.utas.edu.au>, >Shaun Frederick Davis-Gluyas <sdavisgl@lawson.its.utas.edu.au> wrote: >>In article <3qnjq2$mj9@clarknet.clark.net>, buggy@clark.net (Ambush Bug) writes: >>>Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: >>>: Steve (stevech@netcom.com) wrote: >>>: : Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: >>>: : : In article <no-kitty@jlkkljgasasggsasag>, >>>: : : spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: >>>: : : >In article <3qhi4q$euq@cam.its.utas.edu.au>, >>>: : : >Geniac <sdavisgl@lawson.its.utas.edu.au> wrote: >>>: : : >>In article <stevechD9F7pD.IHt@netcom.com>, stevech@netcom.com (Steve) >>>: : : writes: >>>: : : >>>Rainer Heilke (Rainer_Heilke@Cytel.CUEHere.Edmonton.AB.CA) wrote: >>>: : : >>>: Life is like a simile... (00skgoodpast@bsuvc.bsu.edu) wrote: >>>: : : >>>: > In article <no-kitty@jklkjjklagsasgags>, spatula@gecko.concorde.com >>>: : : (tv's Spatch) writes: >>>: : : >>>: > > In article <3qar6t$ml6@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>, >>>: : : >>>: > > Jason Nafziger <nafziger.5@osu.edu> wrote: >>>: : : >>>: > >>In article <3qapsr$iiu@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca>, >>>: : : >>>: > >> yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) wrote: >>>: : : >>>: > >>>Chris Croughton (chris@keris.demon.co.uk) wrote: >>>: : : >>>: > >>> >>>: : : >>>: > >>>: >>I'm not free. I'm not even cheap. But I'm easy... >>>: : : >>>: > >>>: >Are you female? And if so, what's your number? >>>: : : >>>: > >>>: I cherish ambiguity. 42. >>>: : : >>>: > >>>I cherish stupidity. 43. >>>: : : >>>: > >>I cherish Conway Twitty. 44. >>>: : : >>>: > > I cherish Madonna's bra size. 45. >>>: : : >>>: > I cherish precious bandwidth. 46. >>>: : : >>>: I cherish oysters. 69 >>>: : : >>>I cherish people who rub the back of their heads >>>: : : >>>against eachothers butts. 96 >>>: : : >>I cherish people who rub the back of their beads >>>: : : >>against each other, but with negative intentions. 95 >>>: : : >I cherish clicking noises like that of a Sleestak. 94 >>>: : : I cherish the fact that I'm never going to get to use my entry for 57. 93 >>>: : I cherish cheries. Uhh..... 95? >>>: I cherish that I haven't followed up to this post...d'oh! 98 >>>I cherish NOTHING. 0 ___ >>I cherish impossibilities. \/ -1 >I cherish algebraic substitutions. i I cherish analphabetic substitutes. phphphphpbbpbpttt. >>This thread has moved to alt.cascade >And moved BACK to alt.stupidity. We LIKE this thread. Stop being so mean. Andy moved back to alt.reality. We SPIKE this thread. Stop the being in green. /^JN - The Anti JN - Still in business...for a while. -- #### <A HREF="http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/AntiJn.html"> Anti! </A> ##### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! "Wake up Bacon. Time to die." # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
On 5 Jun 1995 22:05:13 GMT, Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote:
: In some bacon article spatula@gecko.concorde.com stated:
: >In article <3qrc0t$1kt@cam.its.utas.edu.au>,
: >Shaun Frederick Davis-Gluyas <sdavisgl@lawson.its.utas.edu.au> wrote:
: >>In article <3qnjq2$mj9@clarknet.clark.net>, buggy@clark.net (Ambush Bug) writes:
: >>>Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote:
: >>>: Steve (stevech@netcom.com) wrote:
: >>>: : Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote:
: >>>: : : In article <no-kitty@jlkkljgasasggsasag>,
: >>>: : : spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) wrote:
: >>>: : : >In article <3qhi4q$euq@cam.its.utas.edu.au>,
: >>>: : : >Geniac <sdavisgl@lawson.its.utas.edu.au> wrote:
: >>>: : : >>In article <stevechD9F7pD.IHt@netcom.com>, stevech@netcom.com (Steve)
: >>>: : : writes:
: >>>: : : >>>Rainer Heilke (Rainer_Heilke@Cytel.CUEHere.Edmonton.AB.CA) wrote:
: >>>: : : >>>: Life is like a simile... (00skgoodpast@bsuvc.bsu.edu) wrote:
: >>>: : : >>>: > In article <no-kitty@jklkjjklagsasgags>, spatula@gecko.concorde.com
: >>>: : : (tv's Spatch) writes:
: >>>: : : >>>: > > In article <3qar6t$ml6@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>,
: >>>: : : >>>: > > Jason Nafziger <nafziger.5@osu.edu> wrote:
: >>>: : : >>>: > >>In article <3qapsr$iiu@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca>,
: >>>: : : >>>: > >> yu123005@rufous.yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) wrote:
: >>>: : : >>>: > >>>Chris Croughton (chris@keris.demon.co.uk) wrote:
: >>>: : : >>>: > >>>
: >>>: : : >>>: > >>>: >>I'm not free. I'm not even cheap. But I'm easy...
: >>>: : : >>>: > >>>: >Are you female? And if so, what's your number?
: >>>: : : >>>: > >>>: I cherish ambiguity. 42.
: >>>: : : >>>: > >>>I cherish stupidity. 43.
: >>>: : : >>>: > >>I cherish Conway Twitty. 44.
: >>>: : : >>>: > > I cherish Madonna's bra size. 45.
: >>>: : : >>>: > I cherish precious bandwidth. 46.
: >>>: : : >>>: I cherish oysters. 69
: >>>: : : >>>I cherish people who rub the back of their heads
: >>>: : : >>>against eachothers butts. 96
: >>>: : : >>I cherish people who rub the back of their beads
: >>>: : : >>against each other, but with negative intentions. 95
: >>>: : : >I cherish clicking noises like that of a Sleestak. 94
: >>>: : : I cherish the fact that I'm never going to get to use my entry for 57. 93
: >>>: : I cherish cheries. Uhh..... 95?
: >>>: I cherish that I haven't followed up to this post...d'oh! 98
: >>>I cherish NOTHING. 0 ___
: >>I cherish impossibilities. \/ -1
: >I cherish algebraic substitutions. i
: I cherish analphabetic substitutes. phphphphpbbpbpttt.
I cherish eloquent verbosity and quality usage of English. Ninety-four.
That is, ninety-*four*. Thank you.
: >>This thread has moved to alt.cascade
: >And moved BACK to alt.stupidity. We LIKE this thread. Stop being so mean.
: Andy moved back to alt.reality. We SPIKE this thread. Stop the being in green.
Andrew returned to alt.eloquence. We appreciate this thread. Cease immediately.
: /^JN - The Anti JN - Still in business...for a while.
--
Spiritual enlightenment through obscure used vinyl records. Please
email important followups -- crappy and constipated newsfeed. Rev Dr David
Gerard; VUT SRC Footscray NoName; +61 (3) 9688 4856; gerdw@cougar.vut.edu.au
July 5, 1998, 7 AM. Saucers. End of the world. Your US$30 is your trip ticket.
Jesper Nilsson // dat92jni@ludat.lth.se or jesper@df.lth.se