subscribe dat92jni@ludat.lth.se /^JN - The Anti JN - Nice mailing list. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Throw yourself at the ground and miss. I know, I know, you would have posted that yourself when you were twelve! Always proofread everything, just to make your not leaving words out. Socks and stones may break my bones, but flames will never burn me. A horse is a horse, of course of course, but goats make better Martini's. Friday@drag.net
In article <4fjqq8$37b@sundial.sundial.net> Friday@drag.net writes: > Throw yourself at the ground and miss. > > > I know, I know, you would have posted that yourself when you were > twelve! Um. . .no probably not, actually. flapjack-who's just a little bastard, isn't he? -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who got more votes that Phil Graham in Iowa "Can we ever truly know the universe? My God! It's hard enough trying to find your way around in Chinatown"--Woody Allen The short-lived political phase is over at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote:
: In article <4fp0fl$mb2@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes:
: >From: sdc@teleport.com ()
: >Subject: Test Ignore (was: Blueberries.)
: >Date: 13 Feb 1996 03:27:48 GMT
: >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: >: jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) wrote:
: >: :You could lure him out with the twinkie, and then throw the
: >: :golf ballsh at him, and when he ish dishtracted yoou can
: >: :shteal hish axhe.
: >: Is that some kind of spell to neutralize Magnus' Fragarach
: >: or Anti-JN's ASCII sword?
: >: Thnik of the terrible consequences before you cast it!
: >: FLUFFIES and BAUGS will overrun altdotstoopididity!!!
: >(Meeyoww)
: > \ , ,
: > \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
: > \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
: > ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
: > _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
: > (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
: Migawd! It haunts me!!
: (Urghh.)
: \ , ,
: \ ("\''/")._ _..--) ( )''"'_.
: \ __ `+_ + ) ) ( ) `_) (: ). ( ).`) __.__.`)
: ( Y .)' .) ( 8 )_ ) ( ) ` _`.`) ()'_..-'
: _.. `^-''_..) (,)-_/) /--'_.' .'
: (il )) ()-'' () -.' ((!.-'
: *MM
That's it. I'm not letting my kitty on the net anymore. You hurt Sockratease!
---Steve
i was running this windows app and decided to quit the two buttons at the bottom of the screen were continue and cancel so i pressed cancel and suddenly everything wint dark and i cant hear or feel anything -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
Cheetah Chrome <browneye@tammyfaye.ptl.com> wrote:
:jm@behave.yourselves (St. Jude) wrote:
:>In article <4fq9gu$nmn@shiva.usa.net>, jay@earth.usa.net
:>says...
:>>
:>>Meow meow.
:>Gentle reader, Meow meow.
:Meow matt bruce meow harvard
#1/usr/bin/perl
while ($_=<ARGV>) {
print $_;
}
% meow Abel Baker Charlie
--Bill (who has no [ ])
--
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1,
which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't
forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
In some bacon article kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) stated:
>On 16 Feb 1996 20:18:32 GMT, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote:
> > AM. Logie (al5701) wrote:
> > : What is this newsfroups obsession with flapjacks?? I personally
> > : don't find
> >
> > Cagey, come here and help me with this.
> >
> > SOCK!
> > SOCK!
> > SOCK!
> > SOCK!
> > SOCK!
> > SOCK!
> > SOCK!
> > SOCK!
> > SOCK!
> > SOCK!
> >
>
>What!! Our own Flapjack is being slandered?!?! For shame.
Damn it, He's slamming poor Flapjacks ass!
>sock
>
>SOCK
>
>SOCK!
>
>S O C K !
>
> $$$$ $$$ $$ $$ $$ $
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> $$ $$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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> $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$ $$
>
>Augh.. pulled a muscle, there. Help, everybody!
Here, I'll sock him good.
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*Thump* *klunk* *bounce*
Damn. I've fallen and I can't get up.
>cagey -- striking a blow for *true* stoopidity
It's going to be a fine day today...
/^JN - The Anti JN - ...I'll spend it all under my desk...
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4frhc4$r2m@nuscc.nus.sg> matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: > > Jesus: "He who believeth on me shall live forever, though he die. And > he that liveth in me and believeth, shall never die. But he that dieth > in me and liveth, shall never believe. Meanwhile, he who dieth and > believeth, shall never live; but he who liveth, dieth, and believeth, > shall do all of the above. However he who pretendeth to die and believeth > on me, shall probably live. But he who pretendeth to believe shall neither > live nor die. Any questions?" > Um. . . will this be on the final? flapjack-who wonders what Jesus did as a kid when a classmate would say "my dad can beat up your dad" -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who got more votes that Phil Gramm in Iowa "Can we ever truly know the universe? My God! It's hard enough trying to find your way around in Chinatown!"--Woody Allen The short-lived political phase is over at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <312452C5.7354@mts.dbo.dec.com> Vamp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> writes: > AM. Logie fartknockered: > > > > What is this newsfroups obsession with flapjacks?? I personally don't find > > them very funny, neither are they very nice to eat!! When was the last time a > > flapjack told a decent joke? They always seem to say the same old crappy Knock > > Knock jokes. Knock knock Who's there? Flapjack Flapjack who? Flapjack, the guy who's gonna kick your ass from here to Ipanema! > > > > Cheesecakes on the other hand, always have really funny, and NEW, jokes > > everytime you see them! So surely we should be praising cheesecakes instead of > > shitty flapjacks!! No, and stop calling me Shirley. > > Ahhh...the "Guilt Toad" shall not be impressed. Logie.. expect retaliation. Okay, here it comes. . . You think you're cool, but you're not 'cause you suck! Good one Nico, good one Nico! > > Vamp - who thinks he won't eating cheesecake for a while Well, thanks for sticking up for me Vamp, and everyone else who joined you. While I hardly take this slight lying down, I will allow this schmoe to insult my news server as much as he wants, since his original post hasn't shown up on it yet. Hence my delay in sending the clever reply you've just finished reading. flapjack-who thinks that guy will think twice before he does bad stuff like this again -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who got more votes that Phil Gramm in Iowa "Can we ever truly know the universe? My God! It's hard enough trying to find your way around in Chinatown!"--Woody Allen The short-lived political phase is over at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
Jonathan R Bezeau (jbezeau@uoguelph.ca) wrote: : Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : : Robert Bland (robert@bigdaddy.mcc.virginia.edu) wrote: : : : Cause I'm confused. : : Hey, get in line, I'm still waiting to hear what they all mean by this : : "bathmat" thing. : : Ross--who's been confused much longer, actually. : But you're still a Big Frog, right? I believe so...let me check again. I'm a Big Frog. Yep, thanks for asking. Goodnight, : Jonboy! Ross--who only replied for completely self serving reasons, don't try to understand them, unless you'd like to be served a self of your own.
In some bacon article jbezeau@uoguelph.ca (Jonathan R Bezeau) stated: >Distribution: > >Jezebell (jessica@cd.chalmers.se) wrote: >: Thomas Anderson wrote: >: > Hell, when I was younger, you couldn't even get a computer, they >: > were so damn expensive. Now a decent company makes it available to >: > everyone and you'd think the world had come to an end! > >: And I walked to school ten miles every day, up hill in both >: directions in ten feet of snow 'cuz it was ALWAYS winter. And I liked >: it that way, dammit! > >Yeah! We had no shoes back then, 'cause we were so poor... we had to put >out hat on the ground and jump on it, then put it downin fornt of us >again and jump on it, and do that all the way to school. Wow. That would probably look like a man chasing after his hat. Nothing's funnier than a man chasing after his hat. >And look at me, fit as a fiddle! >Jonboy! /^JN - The Anti JN - Unless it's a man being chased by his hat. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
< Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: < Robert Bland (robert@bigdaddy.mcc.virginia.edu) wrote: < : : Cause I'm confused. Is that all? < Hey, get in line, I'm still waiting to hear what they all mean by this < "bathmat" thing. Cue: Theme song...'60's rocknroll gee-tar with backup vocals.. "NanananNananananNananana" "Bathmat.......Bathmat.....BATHMAT.....bathmat... Bathmat.....bathmat.....bathmat... Nananananananana...BATHMAT!!!!!" "Oh, gosh, friends, our Dynamic Duo are in trouble again! The Joker and The Big Green Frog have conspired to lure Bathmat and RubberDuck into a Giant Vat of.... DiHYDROGEN MonOXide? Joker: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!!!!! Frog: RibbetRibbetRibbet!
In article <4gcbd7$rg5@molnir.brunel.ac.uk> cs94cmw@brunel.ac.uk (Chris) writes:
>--
> _____,_ (; "If Thats a confession, my arse is
> '`\/\|\_ a banjo!" - Sean Connery
> _;\_ in Just Cause
> WWW address http://http1.brunel.ac.uk:8080/~cs94cmw
Argh! Competitition!
,/ _
/`\/\|\_
/ _;\_
*MM
Ross, where in the hell is Coolidge, or Brookline for that matter, no wonder you and spatch appear in each other's postings so much. (Pretty stupid, eh), but spatch, the subject's got to be one of the better pickup lines i've heard in awhile (don't get out much) Lee Merwin, the once and future King (?)
In article <4ge0s9$1eb@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: >: In article <4frhc4$r2m@nuscc.nus.sg> >: matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: >: flapjack-who wonders what Jesus did as a kid when a classmate would say >: "my dad can beat up your dad" >"Only my dad can make a tree?" >Ross--who tried this weekend and found that he definitely can't make a rock >so big that even he can't lift it. A heavy rock can be very uplifting in itself though. *MM
In article <4ge0s9$1eb@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: > : In article <4frhc4$r2m@nuscc.nus.sg> > : matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: > > : flapjack-who wonders what Jesus did as a kid when a classmate would say > : "my dad can beat up your dad" > > "Only my dad can make a tree?" > > Ross--who tried this weekend and found that he definitely can't make a rock > so big that even he can't lift it. Okay, I'm going to try out my stand-up act, guys, here goes: Hey! Did you ever wonder what it would be like if all the Peanuts characters were Gods? I think it might go something like this: LINUS: What did you create Lucy? LUCY: I created light. What did you create Schroeder? SCHROEDER: I created the sun and the moon. What did you create Charlie Brown? CHARLIE BROWN: I made a rock so heavy I can't lift it. flapjack-who guesses you probably all saw that coming -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who got more votes that Phil Gramm in Iowa "Can we ever truly know the universe? My God! It's hard enough trying to find your way around in Chinatown!"--Woody Allen The short-lived political phase is over at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
Vamp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> wrote: >Brett McInnes wrote: >> >> Jesus: "He who believeth on me shall live forever, though he die. And >> he that liveth in me and believeth, shall never die. But he that dieth >> in me and liveth, shall never believe. Meanwhile, he who dieth and >> believeth, shall never live; but he who liveth, dieth, and believeth, >> shall do all of the above. However he who pretendeth to die and believeth >> on me, shall probably live. But he who pretendeth to believe shall neither >> live nor die. Any questions?" > > >I'll have kiboligy for $500 please Brett. Do you stay awake late at night thinking up such replies? >Vamp - who loves to hate Jeopardy. I thought so. >__ __ ___ _______ >| || | /\ \ \/ /| _ \Pre-release .sig v1.42 >\ \/ // \ | \ / || __|adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com > \ // /\ \| |\/| || |Chief Designer of the ANY key > \/ |/ \|\_| |_/\_|"Inbrane in the memsain" Do you stay up late at night trolling alt.fan.warlord? --Bill -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
spatula@retina.net (Spatch) wrote: >J.PRIETO (TA4510@QMWCC7.qmw.ac.uk) wrote: >: I'm sorry, but this discussion group is stupid, which leads me to the >: foregone conclusion that you're all stupid. > >UNDEROOS ARE FUN TO WEAR! >SUPERHERO UNDERWEAR!! > > >- spatch, peeved cause they don't make underoos for adults or those > are big enough to be an adult - But spatulas don't wear clothes... --Bill -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: >In article <4gebh7$a1n@echo2.echonyc.com> >spatula@retina.net (Spatch) writes: >> That guy over there wrote: >> >> : Vs lbh jrer ebjvat lbhe pnabr qbja gur fgerrg naq lbhe sebag gver syrj >> : bss naq ynaqrq ba gur evtug fvqr bs lbhe qbtf qbtubhfr, ubj znal >> : cnapnxrf jbhyq or fgnpxrq ba gur yrsg fvqr bs lbhe qbtf qbtubhfr? >> : >> : Tvir hc? >> : >> : >> : Abar, orpnhfr onananf qba'g unir obarf; oevqtr obygf qba'g unir bmbar >> : ynlref. >> : >> : >> : Sbe Shegure Vasbezngvba Pnyy: 4 1 1 >> >> This makes much more sense when translated back to its native ROT-13. >Actually, these are the lyrics to "Louie Louie." ...as sung by Gerard Depardieu
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: >>>>> subscribe dat92jni@ludat.lth.se Succeeded. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #something-or-other and now from retina where he belongs "I don't know why I was watching an Ingmar Bergman film when I could have been on IRC watching Spatch type 'STINKY POOP ASS'." - Liza Daly Onion ring to rule, onion ring to bind them...
In article <312AFC0B.2820@mts.dbo.dec.com> Vamp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> writes: >Vamp - what did the Romans ever do for us anyway? Times New Roman. Roman candles. Roman ko kaakola. Lotsa shtuff. *MM
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >Hello! > \|/ -POP- Hi! /|\ >If you want your umlautvowels to reach me uncorrupted,... Huh? Is this some kind of Cheese Detection Agency thing or something? --Bill -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) wrote: >That Ross guy wrote: >>Are you blonde? > >Ummmm, yeah but don't tell, okay? > > >>> --I like you, I'll kill you last. > >>Now this definitely sounds like one of those Highlander fan-thingys. > >Nope, actually it`s Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Good quality >educational programming, that. > >--Jezebell, who is very sad that she can`t get the Sci-fi channel >in Sweden. You're from dot ess ee? Do you know Anti-JN? He's from dot ess ee! --Bill (who believes it's a small world out there) >--I like you, I'll kill you last. THANX!!! -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
That Were-Mutt guy wrote: >Yes Pinky, we are referring to Jessica's huge, though still within the >realm of pleasantly playful, speakers. I was wondering if I had >scared you off with all that talk about speakers and assests. But hey, >if I can't talk about them that only leaves one person and well...I >haven't seen him post here. Actually I've thought of lots of things I >wanted to tell you, but think they are probably a bit too serious for >this stupid group. Oooooooohhhhh, I wanna hear. Tell me tell me. Pleeeeeeeeze. I could beg, but that's your job you little mutt you. --Jezebell, who is in utter suspense at the moment... -- --I like you, I'll kill you last.
In some bacon article Jezebell <jessica@cd.chalmers.se> stated: >Bill Wilkinson wrote: >> jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) wrote: >>That Ross guy wrote: >>>--Jezebell, who is very sad that she can`t get the Sci-fi channel >> >in Sweden. Yeah, Swedish TV sucks...of course, so does most US channels too. >> You're from dot ess ee? >> >> Do you know Anti-JN? >> >> He's from dot ess ee! >> >> --Bill (who believes it's a small world out there) Uhmmm...check out http://pubweb.parc.xerox.com/map/ht=90.00/lat=57.00/lon=-26.17/wd=180.00?359,93 I'm here: http://pubweb.parc.xerox.com/map/ht=7.00/lat=55.71/lon=13.22/mark=55.71,13.22/wd=13.75 and Jezebell's here: http://pubweb.parc.xerox.com/map/ht=5.50/lat=57.99/lon=11.83/mark=57.99,11.83/wd=10.70 Still, I might get to meet Jezebell if I take a four hour drive north. Not much, but considering the weather in Sweden it might get a bit tricky without a snowscooter. >Nope, I'm actually from dot ee dee yoo, but now I live in dot ess ee. >I'm afraid I haven't had the er, pleasure (?) of meeting Anti-JN as of >yet, but maybe someday that wish will be granted. You never can tell. Exactly, who knows, someday we might meet at "Avenyn"...:-) >--I like you, I'll kill you last. Heartwarming words. /^JN - The Anti JN - Drunk, but not much compared to thursday. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
god barney i'll do anything for you god barney just tell me what you want me to god barney nail me up against the wall god barney don't want everyone he wants them all no you can't take him no you can't take him you can't take barney away from me no you can't take him no you can't take him you can't take barney away from me head like a frog fat as a hog i want him to do me just like a dog head like a frog fat as a hog i want him to do me just like a dog bend over before the one i serve i'm going to get what i deserve bend over before the one i serve i'm going to get what i deserve god barney's not too good looking to be sure god barney's not concerned about the sick among the pure but barney says he loves me in one of his tunes and your's truly's not one to choose
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : i was running this windows app and decided to quit the two : buttons at the bottom of the screen were continue and cancel so : i pressed cancel and suddenly everything wint dark and i cant : hear or feel anything keyboard failure press any key to continue Oh what the hell, that's my new sig. ---Steve keyboard failure press any key to continue
Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: : Would I not lie if I didn't tell you that I never told a lie? I think not. Hmmm...so either Magnus is lying, or he's telling us that he never thinks. Either way he's perfect for this froup. - Jeffzilla (Was Descartes lying?)
In article <1996Feb21.140116.1@acavax> english@pembvax1.pembroke.edu writes: >Wanted: Lies and Liars >------------------------ >We're writing a book about lies and lying and >need to hear about the lies that changed your life. >Tell us about a lie that you've told or one that you have been told >that has had significant impact on your life. >You may remain anonymous or you may be credited with the story. >Also, let us know if you've never told a lie. >We'll be sure to use that one! Would I not lie if I didn't tell you that I never told a lie? I think not. *MM
In some bacon article Spatch the ersatz majordomo stated: >Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: >>>>>> subscribe dat92jni@ludat.lth.se >Succeeded. Great! Hello to everyone on this list. I'm new here but I need some help: I've fallen and I can't get up, and I've also glued myself to the chair which is kind of a bother. I tried to break loose by using my fan to pulverize the chair but it broke and now I've got a broken fan. Somebody please help. /^JN - The Anti JN - I'll stay here carving posts for a while. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
softly; so (kparrish@emerald.tufts.edu) wrote: : It scares me to know that both Spatch and Ross are in or near : Boston. : I could have seen them today! Actually you can't really "see" Spatch or Ross. You can just sort of feel that they're there in your presence. But don't do it too hard or they'll slap you. - Jeffzilla (who is scared, too, nonetheless)
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: : >You really gotta pay attention to those radio shows, that psychedelic : >stream of consciousness stuff just never slows down for a minute...those : >Krazy Guys were hot back in the Old Days maaaan. : Oh. I thought I saw those Krazy Guys floating on their stream of consciousness thing during a commercial to find the new Crispy Crunch couple. Turns out it was just a line on my TV screen. - Jeffzilla (the only thing better than your stupiididdidiidity is someone who can spell)
In some bacon article yu123005@yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) stated: >softly; so (kparrish@emerald.tufts.edu) wrote: >: It scares me to know that both Spatch and Ross are in or near >: Boston. > >: I could have seen them today! > > Actually you can't really "see" Spatch or Ross. You can just >sort of feel that they're there in your presence. But don't do it too >hard or they'll slap you. I thank the lord that I wasn't drinking anything when I read this post, 'cause if I had, I would have sprayed the whole monitor with finely distributed drops of pepsi/coffe/beer. > - Jeffzilla (who is scared, too, nonetheless) I take my hat of to Jeffzilla for this post. /^JN - The Anti JN - But I won't chase it. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Barbara C.B. Steele wrote: > > In article <president-1602961329200001@red.cs.uoregon.edu> president@whitehouse.com (Bill Climbaugh) writes: > >From: president@whitehouse.com (Bill Climbaugh) [snipidy do da snipidy day] > >For instance, you can't use the words fuck, shit, cocksucker, motherfuck, > >tits, piss, or cunt. > > >And be sure not to write anything indecent, or flithy. > > >Not to mention that you can not talk about abortion. You can't even say > >that Tipper Gore is a poster child for abortion. Those that even say the > >word abortion will be thrown into a pit of dittoheads. > > Can we say... JEHOVA?? *clears throat* STONE HER !!!! STONE HER !!!! "Gettcha gravel!" STONE HER !!!! Vamp - what did the Romans ever do for us anyway? __ __ ___ _______ | || | /\ \ \/ /| _ \Pre-release .sig v1.42 \ \/ // \ | \ / || __|adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com \ // /\ \| |\/| || |Chief Designer of the ANY key \/ |/ \|\_| |_/\_|"Inbrane in the memsain"
In article <312AFC0B.2820@mts.dbo.dec.com> Vamp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> writes: >Vamp - what did the Romans ever do for us anyway? Times New Roman. Roman candles. Roman ko kaakola. Lotsa shtuff. *MM
ThIs message Is truely poIntless --- "BackIng out of hIs drIveway, MIster Peabody suddenly brought hIs car to a stop He had already heard a peculIar 'thump', and now those flattened but famIlIar lookIng glasses IntrIgued him" Chester Karma ~~~ fts@cris(dot)com ~~~ http(colon)//www(dot)crIs(dot)com/~fts
Jesper Nilsson (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article jbezeau@uoguelph.ca (Jonathan R Bezeau) stated: : >Distribution: : > : >Yeah! We had no shoes back then, 'cause we were so poor... we had to put : >out hat on the ground and jump on it, then put it downin fornt of us : >again and jump on it, and do that all the way to school. : Wow. That would probably look like a man chasing after his hat. : Nothing's funnier than a man chasing after his hat. Especially if he can't catch it. Jonboy! - who once had to chase after a hat.
sdc@teleport.com () wrote: >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >: i was running this windows app and decided to quit the two >: buttons at the bottom of the screen were continue and cancel so >: i pressed cancel and suddenly everything wint dark and i cant >: hear or feel anything > >keyboard failure press any key to continue > >Oh what the hell, that's my new sig. > >---Steve >keyboard failure press any key to continue What? What? --Bill -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
ems174@psu.edu (Eric Steele) wrote: >In article <4g96u1$7nq@ccshst05.cs.uoguelph.ca> jbezeau@uoguelph.ca (Jonathan R Bezeau) writes: >>From: jbezeau@uoguelph.ca (Jonathan R Bezeau) >>Subject: Re: cancel >>Date: 19 Feb 1996 06:56:01 GMT > >>Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >>: i was running this windows app and decided to quit the two >>: buttons at the bottom of the screen were continue and cancel so >>: i pressed cancel and suddenly everything wint dark and i cant >>: hear or feel anything > >>Well, it must have been a global cancel. I thought that a user protection >>fault would have occurred first, but I guess they canned that >>"undocumented feature" since it usually set the host computer on fire. >>Anyhow, sorry about your sudden unjustified lack of sensorium. I'll send >>some braille ASCII art and morse code alphabet soup. > >>Wait, how the hell are you going to read this?? > > >Maybe if you type _really_ loud... > > WHAT??? WHAT??? --BILL!!!! -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
>In article <4gcbd7$rg5@molnir.brunel.ac.uk> cs94cmw@brunel.ac.uk (Chris) writes:
>>--
>> _____,_ (; "If Thats a confession, my arse is
>> '`\/\|\_ a banjo!" - Sean Connery
>> _;\_ in Just Cause
>> WWW address http://http1.brunel.ac.uk:8080/~cs94cmw
>Argh! Competitition!
> ,/ _
> /`\/\|\_
> / _;\_
>
>*MM
Hold on, let me try my hand at this:
_+_|||
_\]+|[//|\\\\
|][+_\][==
\][+\][=|||||||||
What do you think sirs?
********************
All cats die. Socrates is dead. Therefore Socrates is a cat.
- Eugene Ionesco, Rhinoceros
My cat's breath smells like cat food - Ralph Wiggum
********************
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >In article <4gcbd7$rg5@molnir.brunel.ac.uk> cs94cmw@brunel.ac.uk (Chris) writes: >>-- >> _____,_ (; "If Thats a confession, my arse is >> '`\/\|\_ a banjo!" - Sean Connery >> _;\_ in Just Cause >> WWW address http://http1.brunel.ac.uk:8080/~cs94cmw > >Argh! Competitition! > > ,/ _ > /`\/\|\_ > / _;\_ > OUTSTANDING! One less for the Gathering! >*MM But of course. --Bill (willing to share a little "boom boom") -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
John "Ensign Meow Meow" McKeon (jmckeon@interserf.net) wrote: : >>Vamp - what did the Romans ever do for us anyway? : >Times New Roman. Roman candles. Roman ko kaakola. Lotsa shtuff. : Roman Meal Bread (yum, yum!) They gave new meaning to the word "gladiator". Actually they came up with the word "gladiator" to begin with, but they surely had to give it a meaning, and at one point it was probably new. Ergo.... - Jeffzilla (this made sense when I typed it)
tv's Spatch <spatula@retina.net> wrote:
> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ:
> >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
> >: \|/
> >: -POP- Hi!
> >: /|\
> >: Huh? ... Oh.
> >: vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
> >: :In article <4f3kso$jub@delphi.bc.edu> <anonymous@cleo.bc.edu>
> >: :writes:
> >: :>We American are retarded animals !!!!!!!!!
> >: I are no aminal crackers !!!!!!!!!
> >I am a human league.
> >Ross--who thinks you changed your mind, you better change it back or we
> >will both be sorry....
> And so the conversation turned, until the sun went down.
suddenly, i'm feeling fascination. i believe i'll go lay down
until it passes.
--beth (who's baaaack)
--
"OOOHH!! This is worse than I ever imagined having my
worst nightmare about!!!"
--Gypsy
Ed wrote: > > Hi ! The previous survey about colors was a tremendous success. > > Thus I decided to initiate another. > > So, please answer the questions below in the logical order: > > 1. AGE > 2. SEX > 3. FAVOURITE COLOR > 4. account complete login > 5. PICK A NUMBER FROM 1 TO exp(i*pi/sqrt(3)) > 6. account password > 7. ARE YOU BLIND ? > 8. credit card number > 9. ARE YOU DEAF ? > 10. what is your favourite meow ? > 11. DO YOU LIKE SAUSAGES ? > 12. HOW MANY QUESTIONS ARE THERE ? > > That's all... > > D.e ! RAND(pi r squared times c cubed) @ I've got a headache # Rainbow Bright $ (666) 555-1212, no, golfball % e ^ Rand0mPa55w0rdThatN00neWillGue55!@#$#!$#^%$% & could you type that again? * see ! ( selectivly !) third one from the right on the second row from the infinit bottom. !! English or African sausages? !@ !@, but only because I've got my shoes off. El Myk ( Who knows that true stoopidty has to be worked at (
In article <4ga80v$hg4@fontainebleau.ensmp.fr>, anarchist@lunatic.terrorist says... >1. AGE >2. SEX >3. FAVOURITE COLOR >4. account complete login >5. PICK A NUMBER FROM 1 TO exp(i*pi/sqrt(3)) >6. account password >7. ARE YOU BLIND ? >8. credit card number >9. ARE YOU DEAF ? >10. what is your favourite meow ? >11. DO YOU LIKE SAUSAGES ? >12. HOW MANY QUESTIONS ARE THERE ? 1. meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow 2. purrrrrr 3. meow meow blue meow 4. meow@meow.meow (new heirarchy meow) 5. pi*diameter^meow 6. meowmeowcommandantemeowmeowmattbrucemeowharvardmeow 7. meow 8. MEOW-MEOW-MEOW-MEOW exp ME/OW 9. Meow what meow? 10. Commandante meow 11. purrrrrrr 12. meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow
On Sat, 24 Feb 1996 22:40:49 GMT, Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote:
> ThIs message Is truely poIntless ^
|
No, it's not! Look -------------------------------------+
cagey -- who's good at spotting 'em
--
one point in my upcoming .sig
Gary Barber <gbarber@telecom.ie> wrote: >I lost my walrus yesterday when I was out for a leisurely stroll. >Whilst I was slyly reading the papers at my local newsstand using a >cunning mirror arrangement, my walrus... You know, Virk once had his wallet ripped off by a couple of Walri. I still can't figure out the part about the fridge, though. --Bill -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
I lost my walrus yesterday when I was out for a leisurely stroll. Whilst I was slyly reading the papers at my local newsstand using a cunning mirror arrangement, my walrus, who answers to the name of Anton, gingerly eluded my person. I would be very grateful to anyone who could help me find him again as now I have no transport and will be forced to walk again. There is a reward. The first person who gives me some REAL MEATY information about Anton, will get my very own personal collection of Ugandan Christmas folksongs CDs which have a high sentimental value for me thank you . Now I must go as I believe Tito Jacksons` three kids along with Michaels` monkey, Bubbles are about to come through my ceiling. I can hear the little runts up there discussing their sexual conquests with each other and laughing and away giggling like little bobtailed bunnies for one and all to hear. To wrap up, Corbeth Godsey ( Wife of the global grocers hero Ike Godsey ) of The Waltons fame, is currently naked balancing between the cooker and the fridge in my kitchen, dipping each alternate buttock from one red hot cooking ring to the other every five seconds, any may I say she does it very well......... -- Gary Barber T I Software "No gods, No masters" ------------------------------------------------- My ideas and views are mine and not my employers.
In article <4go4nr$kl6@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca> yu123005@yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) writes: >softly; so (kparrish@emerald.tufts.edu) wrote: >: It scares me to know that both Spatch and Ross are in or near >: Boston. >: I could have seen them today! > Actually you can't really "see" Spatch or Ross. You can just >sort of feel that they're there in your presence. But don't do it too >hard or they'll slap you. > - Jeffzilla (who is scared, too, nonetheless) "Slap"? Man, you've been gone too long! You should take it easy for a while until you're regurgitated. I mean, reahbalitated. I mean, forget it. *MM -- who hates to realize that he is trying too much.
In article <4gqflq$hrb@maureen.teleport.com>, sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
>Host: Do you have reservations?
>Stupidian: Yea but what the hell.
>Waiter : Can I get you anythin' bufore I gota the bathroom?
>Stupidian: I'll have a hamburger.
>Waiter: How would you like that cooked?
>Stupidian: Sounds great.
Waiter: Sir, the hamburgers are made of tofu, are you sure? [yn]
Stupidian: Formatting Drive C: ...
Waiter: I'm calling the manager
Stupidian: What are you calling her?
Waiter: Jerk. HEY JERK!
Manager: Is there anything I can help you with?
Stupidian: Yes. My zipper seems to be stuck.
Waiter: I'm going to the bathroom now, anyone want anything?
Manager: Bring me a roll of toilet paper, this could get messy.
Stupidian: and bacon.
Manager: Bring some bacon too.
Stupidian: and corn.
Waiter: And a partridge in a pear tree.
Stupidian: Where's my hamburger?
Manager: On the floor, I'll get it in a minute.
Worf: Manager, we're under attack!
Manager: Get us out of here, maximum warp!
[Manager, Worf, Stupidian and Waiter all run into the wall.]
---
"Backing out of his driveway, Mr. Peabody suddenly brought his car to a
stop. He had already heard a peculiar 'thump', and now those flattened
but familiar looking glasses intrigued him..."
Chester Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
In article <4gqfss$hrb@maureen.teleport.com>, sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
>Lisa Balzamo (al00029@soho.ios.com) wrote:
>: A Man ate his mustache!
>
>What?
/| /||\ | |_| | || /|
/-| |\/|/-|| \| 8 | | i 5 0|/\||/ | moustacho.
Hope this helps.
---
"Backing out of his driveway, Mr. Peabody suddenly brought his car to a
stop. He had already heard a peculiar 'thump', and now those flattened
but familiar looking glasses intrigued him..."
Chester Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
I noticed this interesting fact with my newsreader today. I was pulling up
articles to read, and I glance at the status bar on my newsreader. It sez
"Retrieving bodies for alt.stupidity" ... I wonder how long my newsreader has
gone to the trouble of doing this for me, and what I'm gonna do when _I_ have
to retrieve bodies myself.
---
"Backing out of his driveway, Mr. Peabody suddenly brought his car to a
stop. He had already heard a peculiar 'thump', and now those flattened
but familiar looking glasses intrigued him..."
Chester Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
Anti JN wrote: > Exactly, who knows, someday we might meet at "Avenyn"...:-) > Heyyyyy, I've been there! Woweee....it's only a couple blocks away! Neato! (Can I say that on here?) --Jezebell, who knows lotsa words like nifty and spiffy and actually uses them in conversations. --I like you, I'll kill you last.
In article <4gok74$5q0@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >In some bacon article Jezebell <jessica@cd.chalmers.se> stated: >>>>--Jezebell, who is very sad that she can`t get the Sci-fi channel >>> >in Sweden. >Yeah, Swedish TV sucks...of course, so does most US channels too. Buy an Astra pack (no it's not a beer case in this case) and set the dish to 22deg above horizon, 8deg east from south, and spend the next week fine tuning it. You'll have a whole lot of uncrypted channels and two whole lots of crypted ones. Then you can add most european channels to your statement above, which is true. *MM -- who could get Scifi Channel through PTV Cable if he was willing to pay for it which he is not sebucae he watched it for free the 1st 2 weeks and did not like what he saw except the early black and white episodes of Lost in Space.
In article <312F7C63.706E@psu.edu> Michael Scott Holmes <msh104@psu.edu> writes: >Sometimes when I get bored I walk up to a stranger on the street and say >to them, "If I was a serial killer, you'd be my next victim." Then I >walk away. Once upon a time you won't be able to walk away beuasec the stranger on the street is a parallel killer. *MM
The phone rang, so I answered it. "Hello", said the phone, "This is John Smith's calling machine. Sorry, John isn't home right now, but he'll call you as soon as he's back." Click toot toot toot. I sat there a long time with the phone in my sweaty hand and cursed. *MM
atoyot@cris.com wrote: : limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: : >Ross--who has a couple of private jokes of his own, but he doesn't get them. : you mispelte pirate : Har Indeed I did, har! Har! HAR!!!! Ross--who gets the Nico joke now.
We had some rain here last week and I finally caved in and bought an umbrella. That's right! I've joined the lumpen, umbrella-carrying proletariat. Even worse, the day before, I bought black socks. I now admit that I am not the master of nature and society, they are masters over me. I'm just a water pic and a daily planner away from losing my individuality. flapjack-who might as well just start watching Sixty Minutes -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who wrote Primary Colors "Pretty soon, Bill Clinton will have my nose and I'll be in charge of the smells of this country!"--Eevin Hartsough Things are quiet, a little _too_ quiet, at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
SYD wrote: > > Is there any connection between the dissapearance of socks from the > laundry and the mysterious appearance of belly button fluff? This must be true. I could tell you of some encounters with belly button fluff, but you wouldn't want to hear it. However...I had always suspected that the dryer ate the socks, but that still left the mysterious appearance of belly button fluff unanswered. I am now convinced that there is an interdependent link between these two freak occurrences. --I like you, I'll kill you last.
Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > *MM -- who could get Scifi Channel through PTV Cable if he was > willing to pay for it which he is not sebucae he watched it for free > the 1st 2 weeks and did not like what he saw except the early > black and white episodes of Lost in Space. The first two weeks did suck, but later on, they began having the Twilight Zone Marathon. Nifty. --Jezebell, who couldn't bring herself to sit through 18 hours of Max Headroom on the Maxathon. --I like you, I'll kill you last.
fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) wrote: >I noticed this interesting fact with my newsreader today. I was pulling up >articles to read, and I glance at the status bar on my newsreader. It sez >"Retrieving bodies for alt.stupidity" ... I wonder how long my newsreader has >gone to the trouble of doing this for me, and what I'm gonna do when _I_ have >to retrieve bodies myself. Stock up on Hefty (tm) Body Bags. --Bill (who fears your newsreader) -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) wrote: >In article <4go4nr$kl6@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca>, yu123005@yorku.ca (Jeffery >Shidei) wrote: > >> Actually you can't really "see" Spatch or Ross. You can just >>sort of feel that they're there in your presence. But don't do it too >>hard or they'll slap you. > >Actually, I got in a fight with Ross a while back at Uno's. Except I didn't >know it was him at the time.. ;) You guys were fighting at UNO? Hell, why didn't you tell us???? --Bill -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
sdc@teleport.com () wrote: >Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: >: In article <4g0fm6$i8q@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes: >: >Friday@drag.net wrote: > >: >: I think you better at least buy him dinner first. > >: >What would you suggest? > >: That's an odd question in this froup. > >Host: Do you have reservations? >Stupidian: Yea but what the hell. >Waiter : Can I get you anythin' bufore I gota the bathroom? >Stupidian: I'll have a hamburger. >Waiter: How would you like that cooked? >Stupidian: Sounds great. Stupidian2: Uh, water? Could you bring me the bathmat? Water: Huh? --Bill -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
In article <Pine.SUN.3.91.960226113403.11317B-100000@altair.herts.ac.uk> SYD <kst1em@herts.ac.uk> writes: >Is there any connection between the dissapearance of socks from the >laundry and the mysterious appearance of belly button fluff? No. >I mean, where can this fluff come from? From within. Owls and reptiles vomit the stuff they can't digest, but for ethical reasons man's evolution has taken a different direction to a less prominent excretion. *MM
In article <DnE096.KJD@midway.uchicago.edu> lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: >What a *strange* sounding word! Everything sounds strange when you're a stranger, but do not try to sweet talk me, sweet talker, for I am no stranger. *MM -- anticipating two socks.
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2133.01E812A6@memo.vtkk.fi>, Magnus Mulqvist <elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi> wrote: >In article <DnE096.KJD@midway.uchicago.edu> lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: > >>What a *strange* sounding word! > >Everything sounds strange when you're a stranger, but do not >try to sweet talk me, sweet talker, for I am no stranger. But do you own the new Shaggs re-issue on CD? >*MM -- anticipating two socks. Try port 1080, or with two, you might try port 2160. Or maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Its one of those mornings. john. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
Jeffery Shidei (yu123005@yorku.ca) wrote: : John "Ensign Meow Meow" McKeon (jmckeon@interserf.net) wrote: : : - Jeffzilla (this made sense when I typed it) ^^^^^^^^^ Does this say what I think it says? HE'S BACK!!!!!! Har! Jeffzilla, so much happened while you were gone, I just don't know where to start. um...... they changed the cast of Baywatch. Ross--I'm a Big Frog
Chester Karma (fts@cris.com) wrote: : In article <4go4nr$kl6@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca>, yu123005@yorku.ca (Jeffery : Shidei) wrote: : > Actually you can't really "see" Spatch or Ross. You can just : >sort of feel that they're there in your presence. But don't do it too : >hard or they'll slap you. Wait a minute--is this a Highlander fan thingy with my in it? : Actually, I got in a fight with Ross a while back at Uno's. Except I didn't : know it was him at the time.. ;) Indeed....I'll say.....what a time that was....Har! : Chester - who wonders if Ross remembers that... Ross--who has no idea what Chester's talking about....no, really.
Jeffery Shidei (yu123005@yorku.ca) wrote: : Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : : : Lee Merwin, the once and future King (?) : : Now this one definitely sounds like a Highlander fan-thingy! : : Ross--who's thrown by the question mark. : That fantastic battle between big frog and the question mark. : The question mark has actually hurled Ross out of the ring! Look out : Ross, here comes another. (?) : - Jeffzilla (has turbulent relations with punctuation as well) Jeff, You're back only one day or so and you're already confusing the hell out of me. Ahhh, memories. Ross--who has nothing to add.
Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : In article <4gb6el$6ta@news.mountain.net> : snbug@ix.tri.net (Snow Bug) writes: : > : > : > ....what do you women think???? : > : Men are from Cleveland, women are from Kenner. : flapjack-who resents the implication that he's a woman Men are, therefore they think. Ross--who had no idea that Flapjack is a woman.
yaz pistachio (fnargle@primenet.com) wrote: : tv's Spatch <spatula@retina.net> wrote: : > limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ: : > >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : > >Ross--who thinks you changed your mind, you better change it back or we : > >will both be sorry.... : > And so the conversation turned, until the sun went down. : suddenly, i'm feeling fascination. i believe i'll go lay down : until it passes. : --beth (who's baaaack) Wow, Yazbeth and Jeffzilla in the same week? This may be more than I can take. Ross--who's got to keep on mo-vin'
fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) wrote: >In article <4gqflq$hrb@maureen.teleport.com>, sdc@teleport.com () wrote: > >>Host: Do you have reservations? >>Stupidian: Yea but what the hell. >>Waiter : Can I get you anythin' bufore I gota the bathroom? >>Stupidian: I'll have a hamburger. >>Waiter: How would you like that cooked? >>Stupidian: Sounds great. > >Waiter: Sir, the hamburgers are made of tofu, are you sure? [yn] >Stupidian: Formatting Drive C: ... >Waiter: I'm calling the manager >Stupidian: What are you calling her? >Waiter: Jerk. HEY JERK! >Manager: Is there anything I can help you with? >Stupidian: Yes. My zipper seems to be stuck. >Waiter: I'm going to the bathroom now, anyone want anything? >Manager: Bring me a roll of toilet paper, this could get messy. >Stupidian: and bacon. >Manager: Bring some bacon too. >Stupidian: and corn. >Waiter: And a partridge in a pear tree. >Stupidian: Where's my hamburger? >Manager: On the floor, I'll get it in a minute. >Worf: Manager, we're under attack! >Manager: Get us out of here, maximum warp! > >[Manager, Worf, Stupidian and Waiter all run into the wall.] The sudden impact catches the Wallri by surprize who immediately regurgitates a fridge and Virk's wallet containing a credit card and a condom. --Bill -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
grham@ix.netcom.com(Gary Hammond) wrote:
>In <4gjedi$jtk@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes:
\|/
-POP- Hi!
/|\
> "I am SURROUNDED by idiots." Jeremy Irons
\|/ \|/
-POP- Hi! -POP- Hi!
/|\ /|\
--Bill
--
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1,
which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't
forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
Found in "News of the Weird" on CI$: :A judge in Durham, N.C., dismissed Sheila Bush's :complaint against her husband, Hobert Bush, in January. :The Bushes live together as a couple on Hobert's $70,000 :salary in a $200,000 house, but Sheila claimed Hobert failed :to give her sufficient support in that he makes all the :consumer purchases himself. For example, she said, he buys :only cold cereal, and she wants more waffles and bacon. Damned judge. --Bill (or maybe it was the waffles) -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
In article <4h01po$c7r@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >yaz pistachio (fnargle@primenet.com) wrote: >: tv's Spatch <spatula@retina.net> wrote: >: > limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ: >: > >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >: > >Ross--who thinks you changed your mind, you better change it back or we >: > >will both be sorry.... >: > And so the conversation turned, until the sun went down. >: suddenly, i'm feeling fascination. i believe i'll go lay down >: until it passes. >: --beth (who's baaaack) >Wow, Yazbeth and Jeffzilla in the same week? >This may be more than I can take. >Ross--who's got to keep on mo-vin' Heyy-yeh-yeeeh, it's gotta be... it's gotta it's gotta it's gotta it's gotta be... the season the season... yeah, it's gotta be the season of the witch! Oh yeah, it's gotta be the season of the witch. *MM -- to whom "got to keep on mo-vin'" means Kooper, Stills, and Bloomfield. How about youm?
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: : sdc@teleport.com () wrote: : >Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: : >: In article <4g0fm6$i8q@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes: : >: >Friday@drag.net wrote: : > : >: >: I think you better at least buy him dinner first. : > : >: >What would you suggest? : > : >: That's an odd question in this froup. : > : >Host: Do you have reservations? : >Stupidian: Yea but what the hell. : >Waiter : Can I get you anythin' bufore I gota the bathroom? : >Stupidian: I'll have a hamburger. : >Waiter: How would you like that cooked? : >Stupidian: Sounds great. : Stupidian2: Uh, water? Could you bring me the bathmat? : Water: Huh? Stupidiant2: Sorry, I'd call you a fancy scientific name, but that would be just too darned funny. Water: I understand how that can be a problem......are you Mel Torme? [Stupidian2 rips off mask and takes out gun, pointing it at the water] MelTorme: So you figured me out, eh? Well you'll never too-tee-too-too take me alive, y'hear? Waiter: Mel Torme! MelTorme: What? Stupidian: Should I be looking for the point in all this? Waiter: Oh please, no--I can't stand all those arrows. Water: Yeah, they give me a headache. MelTorme: So will I be getting my hamburger, or what? Ross--who thinks this is as bad a place to end as any.
llama@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Paul Kautz) writes: >You can buy drugs in many major cities. Yeah, and some of them you can get WITHOUT A PERSCRIPTION. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. New Orudis KT. Boing. </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://ux1.cso.uiuc.edu/~zurawski/cats.html
Jeffery Shidei (yu123005@yorku.ca) wrote: : Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: : : In article <4h2m73$i36@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: : : >In article <4gupan$5vl@guava.epix.net> : : >wayne26@epix.net (Mr. Play-A-Day) writes: : : >> : : >> Man: (singing) I'm a radio ditty singer, melody at my fingers. : : > ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^ : : >So I'm reading this and I realize that "singer" doesn't really rhyme : : >with "finger." It looks like it should. . . but it doesn't. I'm not : : >sure if I'll ever look at the world the same way again. : : But it rhymes with "bacon", and that's what counts. : : *MM : -- So this is just *fan-tastic*. Now I've gone ahead and forgotten how to post a follow-up properly. About half the times that I respond I wind up sending everyone a blank (like the one above) 'cuz I'm doing something wrong, and nobody winds up knowing what I was trying to write. The other half of the time people don't understand me anyway, so I guess this saves everybody else a lot of aggravation. -Jeffzilla (what are the odds?)
Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted to say something to all my alt.stupidity minions... Good GOD, but it's been a while. But don't worry, my eyes are still holes in blankets, even if I'm not technically a vegetarian anymore. The soy gets to you after a while. :) </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://ux1.cso.uiuc.edu/~zurawski/cats.html
Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote: : Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted to say . . . Leap year brings back the wayward. I, too, frittered precious time away on planet Weezbo. Laura, you left your gloves at Commander Zork's. Anyway, stupids, Here I am, signed, sealed, de-frittered, I'm yourz. -- Gesundheit.
Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) returneth and she doth quote:: : Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, and boy are your arms tired?! : I just wanted to say : something to all my alt.stupidity minions... : Good GOD, but it's been a while. Since what? The Red Sox won the pennant? Only 10 years, of course, but that's not implying much. : But don't worry, my eyes are still holes in blankets, even if I'm not : technically a vegetarian anymore. The soy gets to you after a while. What happened on Weezbo? Did they force-feed you soy intravaenously until ... gads, we all spontaneously shudder to think what might happen. Ohmy. : |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu : =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper : c___ (______/ http://ux1.cso.uiuc.edu/~zurawski/cats.html Ut oh, it's a cat. Better not let Magnus near it. - spatch, but welcome back, anyhow - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and back from the shadows again "I don't know why I was watching an Ingmar Bergman film when I could have been on IRC watching Spatch type 'STINKY POOP ASS'." - Liza Daly "Uhm, there's a spatula through your head." - Some fellow at SF/21
spatula@retina.net (Spatch) wrote:
>Ut oh, it's a cat. Better not let Magnus near it.
Why? Last time I checked, Mr. Robot Fighter actually liked cats. Quite a bit.
********************
All cats die. Socrates is dead. Therefore Socrates is a cat.
- Eugene Ionesco, Rhinoceros
My cat's breath smells like cat food - Ralph Wiggum
********************
jwb101@york.ac.uk (Joe Beaton) writes: >Wibble But they don't fall down. </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://ux1.cso.uiuc.edu/~zurawski/cats.html
Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote:
[snippage]
> Um, "Break My Stride" but I don't know who sings it, just another 80's
> song.
oh, NO. now i'm going to have that song in my head for the rest of
the day.
Sock.
Sock.
Sock.
--beth (just tryin' out the ol' socker, to make sure i can
still sock.)
--
"OOOHH!! This is worse than I ever imagined having my
worst nightmare about!!!"
--Gypsy
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: : kparrish@emerald.tufts.edu (softly; so) wrote: : > It scares me to know that both Spatch and Ross are in or near : >Boston. : > : > I could have seen them today! : > : But Spatch is never seen in public without at least one epidermal : layer! Ross is closer to Boston than I am. Probably closer. And the best part is, nobody sees me in Boston unless I make myself shown to them. Instigating major acts of violence by insinuating that at least 4 members of NKOTB are on the same train and if we don't do something right now they're GOING TO SING FOR US. That usually works. - spatch, remind me never to sing my science museum song to you - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and back from the shadows again "I don't know why I was watching an Ingmar Bergman film when I could have been on IRC watching Spatch type 'STINKY POOP ASS'." - Liza Daly "Uhm, there's a spatula through your head." - Some fellow at SF/21
..but I really gotta go (bad)... --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: : ..but I really gotta go (bad)... : --Bill If you go (bad) to Kansas City, tell Flapjack I sez "yo. 'sup?". -- Gesundheit.
Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote: : Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted to say TORTESS (tortess@panix.com) ADDED: . . . Leap year brings back the wayward. I, too, frittered precious time away on planet Weezbo. Laura, you left your gloves at Commander Zork's. Anyway, stupids, Here I am, signed, sealed, de-frittered, I'm yourz. -- Gesundheit. -- Gesundheit.
Tortess wrote: :Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote: :: Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted ::to say... :TORTESS (tortess@panix.com) ADDED: : . . . Leap year brings back the wayward. I, too, frittered :precious time away on planet Weezbo. Laura, you left your :gloves at Commander Zork's. :Anyway, stupids, Here I am, signed, sealed, de-frittered, I'm :yourz. Dammit, Tortess. I've just flamed you in some spatch grous nup becasue you don't post enough! NOW! :-- :Gesundheit. Sorry. :-- :Gesundheit. I dunno what's causing that. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : Tortess wrote: : :Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote: : :: Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted : ::to say... : :TORTESS (tortess@panix.com) ADDED: : Dammit, Tortess. I've just flamed you in some spatch grous nup : becasue you don't post enough! Jeez, Spatch done got hizone screws snoop? It HAS been awhile (pronounced with aspirated h only). Pardon me, my cat is swallowing some U.S. currency. Catch y'later. -- Gesundheit.
You wouldn't believe where I'VE been! So I won't tell you. But it's nice to be back in civilzation. Would someone plez pass thuh jelleh? -- Gesundheit.
Peter Hipwell (petehip@cogsci.ed.ac.uk) wrote: : According to the Oxford English Dictionary, Finnegan's Wake doesn't : exist. Linguistic evolution towards total annihillation of case : structure in English is ineluctable. You want case structure, go : learn Finnish. Oh, swell. Now I have a whole bunch of things to look up: "evolution", "annihilation", "ineluctable", "dictionary". Where do you look these things up, anyway? - Jeffzilla (learning Finnish cause he wants case structure and, damn it, he's gonna get it!)
My new boss announced in general to my working team the other day, "what's all this baloney about?" But the funny thing was, no one was eating baloney. So I didn't say anything. It was only later that I learned that some prankster in my office had spread about four pounds of baloney slices all over her chair. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Now, what's all this bullshit I hear? -- Gesundheit.
ibeverid wrote:
>
> Vamp wrote:
> >
> > Jonathan R Bezeau contemplated the nature of time and bacon:
> > v>
> > v> Darth Vader (seaner@exo.com) wrote:
> > v> : In article <31231031.1C07@mts.dbo.dec.com>, adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com
> > v> : says...
> > v> : >
> > v> : >Ian Beveridge CS94 wrote:
> > v> : >v>
> > v> : >v> | IAN BEVERIDGE ibeverid@cs.strath.ac.uk 11:21pm
> > v> :
> > v> : >|
> > v> : > ^^^^^^^
> > v> : > Cool... a clock in a .sig. Hmm.. it's
> > v> : st
> > v> : >opped
> > v> : > HEY IAN!!! Your clocks broke..
>
> Well it aint stopped cause it aint a clock. Snyeargh!
>
> It's an 'X-files' thing for X-files people. I thought it might
> be a cool thing to do. Obviously I was wrong. Damn.
>
> Oh well, I still have my glass eyes.
>
HEY IAN!!! Your .sig broke (wasn't me.....honest)
amp - there ain't any V's in them files are there??
--
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig v2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
Jezebell wrote:
>
> Anti JN wrote:
>
> > Exactly, who knows, someday we might meet at "Avenyn"...:-)
> >
>
> Heyyyyy, I've been there! Woweee....it's only a couple
> blocks away!
>
> Neato! (Can I say that on here?)
>
> --Jezebell, who knows lotsa words like nifty and spiffy and actually
> uses them in conversations.
>
Groovy
-- amp - who thinks this could be the beginning of a cool cascade
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig v2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
Looky, looky, tortess@panix.com (Tortess) sez: >Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote: >: Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted to say > . . . Leap year brings back the wayward. I, too, frittered precious >time away on planet Weezbo. Laura, you left your gloves at Commander >Zork's. >Anyway, stupids, Here I am, signed, sealed, de-frittered, I'm yourz. <sniff>Geez, I missed you guys...</sniff> So is there anybody still missing? (Please don't mention Vik.) Jason -- who wishes he hadn't... ____________________ CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE: http://www.tripod.com/~jrn/index.htm "Those damn dogs, always trying to fool us with their sly, canine ways." - Tjames Madison
In article <4h7l3d$qi1@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> writes: >jwb101@york.ac.uk (Joe Beaton) writes: >>Wibble >But they don't fall down. ></L> >-- (l)! Was it windows this time, or did they put you back into the deep black? *MM
In article <4h9lqk$obq@dub-news-svc-3.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: >..but I really gotta go (bad)... >--Bill >-- "And if you gotta go... ... well, it's allright... but if you gotta go, go now, or else you gotta stay all night." *MM -- and MM.
In article <4h9tu7$52h@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: >Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote: >: Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted to say >TORTESS (tortess@panix.com) ADDED: > . . . Leap year brings back the wayward. I, too, frittered precious >time away on planet Weezbo. Laura, you left your gloves at Commander >Zork's. >Anyway, stupids, Here I am, signed, sealed, de-frittered, I'm yourz. We know. >-- Achoo. >Gesundheit. >-- Tsk, tsk. >Gesundheit. *MM
Dennis McClain-Furmanski (dynasor@infi.net) wrote: : On 02-28-96, mjanes@mailserv.interhop wrote: : : > According to the Oxford Universal Dictionary, 'usage' is a word but : > 'useage' is not. : : You want spell checking, you pay. : Not me! My spellchecker is totally free! It's a little monkey who sits on my desk and watches me type and whenever I misspell a word he screams and hoots and hollers and throws his own excrement at the monitor. - spatch, but he never tried to hump phoebe - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and back from the shadows again "I don't know why I was watching an Ingmar Bergman film when I could have been on IRC watching Spatch type 'STINKY POOP ASS'." - Liza Daly "Uhm, there's a spatula through your head." - Some fellow at SF/21
Paul Kautz (llama@gnu.ai.mit.edu) wrote: : Who was it that said "Semantics? I'm always up for some antics."? : I need to know for a bibliography. : And speaking of attribution, in the Kool & The Gang song "Open Sesame," : just what does Kool tell us he is the genie of, before he commands us : to get down? At first I thought it was SOCK, but there's only one : Sultan of SOCK around here as far as I can tell. : Paul--unless of course Ross IS Kool... Sultan of SOCK? Hey, I like that. Guess I shouldn't have SOCKED! you before but...well, you know....I was saying Har! and all. And I like saying Har! Ross--who would put Sultan of SOCK! in his .sig file, if he knew how to make one.
AMerwin (amerwin@aol.com) wrote: : In article <4h2bfp$ppk@bertrand.ccs.carleton.ca>, : baldguy@lager.engsoc.carleton.ca (William Cudmore) writes: : >William Christopher Cudmore : > : >The Exhalted Overlord of the Clan of the Ancients, : oh ross, does this qualify as one of those Hi..la..er thingys?? : AMerwin@aol.com - toafK(?) : first the wheels, then the brain Yeah, thanks, AM. All right, everyone, I think that what we should do here is round up and quarrantine the Highlander fan thingys until we can figure out what to do with them. Magnus, with your decapitating skills, you're the best person to ask for help here...but would that really be the stupididity think to do? Oh, if only Oinkman were here, he'd give those goudas a good wobbling. Ross--who'sposts are melting into one
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : " " " " : --Bill --Bill : -- -- : Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, : which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't : forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K. forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K. - spatch, it's Bill Beacon Teaches Typing - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and back from the shadows again "I don't know why I was watching an Ingmar Bergman film when I could have been on IRC watching Spatch type 'STINKY POOP ASS'." - Liza Daly "Uhm, there's a spatula through your head." - Some fellow at SF/21
Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote: Ok, I'm sure everyone's overjoyous about the return of the legendary (/L)aura, but first we should ask ourselves: are we sure she's not some sort of disturbing reptile clone who just came to eat our eyeballs? Like V? And wasn't Mark Singer so cool? He was the Beastmaster, y'know. Ross--who's revealing a little too much : Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted to say : something to all my alt.stupidity minions... : Good GOD, but it's been a while. : But don't worry, my eyes are still holes in blankets, even if I'm not : technically a vegetarian anymore. The soy gets to you after a while. : :) : </L> : -- : ========================================================== : |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu : =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper : c___ (______/ http://ux1.cso.uiuc.edu/~zurawski/cats.html
Jezebell (jessica@cd.chalmers.se) wrote: : Ian Beveridge CS94 wrote: : I like cheese and jam sanwiches. So does my Grandpa. : > But only I like polony and marmalade. : No onions? No mustard? What's the matter with you? "No mustard." "Analysis, Mr. Schlock?" "It appears that Lieutenant Snot is about to eat a weiner without any mustard." : Jezebell--who wants to know why there isn't any normal mustard in Sweden : and is planning to smuggle some back into the country with her after her : next trip to the U.S. Oh, I bet you've tried sidling up to thise rich Swedes in their big limousines and asking "Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?" and they just smile dumbly and say "Ja!" and hand you a large hunk of of aged parmesan, right? : --I like you, I'll kill you last. I bet you say that to all the stupids. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and back from the shadows again "I don't know why I was watching an Ingmar Bergman film when I could have been on IRC watching Spatch type 'STINKY POOP ASS'." - Liza Daly "Uhm, there's a spatula through your head." - Some fellow at SF/21
spatula@retina.net (Spatch) wrote:
> Allen. C. Roffey (allen@wmin.ac.uk) wrote:
> : chagelstein@jack.clarku.edu wrote:
> : > If God, Then God.> : If Dog, then Dog
> :
> If bacon, then bacon.
If bored -->then post.
--
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
All God's children do something well.
The trick is finding out what it is.
--Gary Chapman
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Archimedes Plutonium (Archimedes.Plutonium@dartmouth.edu) wrote: : Ray Tomes has no physics and his theory is all math. He relies on : nonlinearity and chaos, which to me is garbage and hogwash. I am : defending my Motaatom Harmonics from what I feel is the encroachment of : , in my humble opinion, the crank crankster of Mr. Ray Tomes. Har!
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@nemo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :In article <4h61k9$ko6@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu :(Flapjack) writes: :>In article <4h3975$haf@dub-news-svc-3.compuserve.com> :>Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: :>> grham@ix.netcom.com(Gary Hammond) wrote: :>> >In <4gjedi$jtk@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () :>> >writes: :>> :>> \|/ :>> -POP- Hi! :>> /|\ :>> > "I am SURROUNDED by idiots." Jeremy Irons :>> \|/ \|/ :>> -POP- Hi! -POP- Hi! :>> /|\ /|\ :>> :>You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be :>surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." :>Okay. . . it was me. . . :You know, a stoopit man once said: "a man who thinks himself to :be surrounded by mirrors may be standing in a hall of idiots." You know, an idiot once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by self may be standing in a hall of clones." --Bill (i didn't say that) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@nemo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :In article <4ha449$646@news.ios.com> pg :<pgolds@gramercy.ios.com> writes: :>Subject: If Oprah Winfrey Married Deepak Chopra :...she would name their kids Oppez, Ohcuorg, Ocihc, and Ommug. You know, I'll bet that doesn't make sense in ROT-13, either. But I have this dim stupid impression that Flapjack will be highly interested in that remark. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Paul Kautz (llama@gnu.ai.mit.edu) wrote: : Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> wrote: : * limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : * > atoyot@cris.com wrote: : * > : limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: : * > : >Ross--who has a couple of private jokes of his own, but he doesn't get them. : * > : you mispelte pirate : * > : Har : you mpld "Arr" Hey--what's going on here? : ARRRR Don't make me sock you. : * > : * > Indeed I did, har! : * > : * > Har! : ARRRR I mean it. : * > : * > HAR!!!! : ARRRR Believe me...I'll do it. : * > : * > Ross--who gets the Nico joke now. : * : * You do? Gee Ross, _I_ don't even get the Nico joke. : * : * flapjack-who also doesn't get this whole bacon thing : ARRRR That does it! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! Phew, I feel better now. Ross--who was much more annoyed by this than the other annoying, yet somehow confusing, message.
Jason Nafziger <jnafz@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> Looky, looky, tortess@panix.com (Tortess) sez:
> >Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote:
> >: Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted to say
> > . . . Leap year brings back the wayward. I, too, frittered precious
> >time away on planet Weezbo. Laura, you left your gloves at Commander
> >Zork's.
> >Anyway, stupids, Here I am, signed, sealed, de-frittered, I'm yourz.
> <sniff>Geez, I missed you guys...</sniff>
> So is there anybody still missing? (Please don't mention Vik.)
ya know...<sidling closer> i've been back for a week already.
<jumping up and down> <pointing at self maniacally>
it's me, look, everyone, look, i'm back, LOOK!
--beth (who's in constant interstellar contact with weezbo)
--
"OOOHH!! This is worse than I ever imagined having my
worst nightmare about!!!"
--Gypsy
In article <4hadoi$5bp@echo2.echonyc.com> spatula@retina.net (Spatch) writes: >Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) returneth and she doth quote:: >: |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu >: =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper >: c___ (______/ http://ux1.cso.uiuc.edu/~zurawski/cats.html >Ut oh, it's a cat. Better not let Magnus near it. Well, there's cats, and then there's cats. It makes all the difference. *MM
In article <4he0at$4o6@newsbf02.news.aol.com> amerwin@aol.com (AMerwin) writes: >In article <ATAYLOR.96Feb26153134@gauss.nmsu.edu>, ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) >writes: >what the hell is up with all the frogs, first "Big Frog" (Bathmats trusty >compadre), now the Greenest ever??? with envy, with germs, with mold, with >paint? Somebody stop me OK I'll try >AMerwin@aol.com - toafK(?) >first the wheels, then the brain Have you got the spokes sorted out yet? *MM
In article <ATAYLOR.96Feb26153134@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: ><In article <4gsllj$jm6@reader2.ix.netcom.com> jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason >Nafziger) writes: ><Looky, looky, Gary Barber <gbarber@telecom.ie> sez: ><>The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dogs.......but was too quick to >notice ><>that the dogs had earlier made a punji stake trap behind them, so the fox ><>quickly impaled himself, much to the chagrin of the lazy dogs ( I do not know ><>what type of dogs these were). ><Lazy ones. > Salty ones? Nifty ones! ><Jason - who hopes they don't start a "Longest One of Whatever Those ><Are Called" thread... > Perish the thought! Okay, here it comes! *MM Oops. Dammit, sorry. I read that "cherish".
In article <4hfp7e$akq@echo2.echonyc.com> spatula@retina.net (Spatch) writes: >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: " " Oh, sorry, I repeated before you. >: " " >" " >: --Bill > --Bill >: -- > -- >: Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, > Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, >: which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't > which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't >: forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K. > forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K. >- spatch, it's Bill Beacon Teaches Typing - Are you sure you don't mean Billy Bacon and the Forbidden Pigs? [ync] *MM
In some bacon article elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <4hadoi$5bp@echo2.echonyc.com> spatula@retina.net (Spatch) writes: >>Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) returneth and she doth quote:: > >>: |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu >>: =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper >>: c___ (______/ http://ux1.cso.uiuc.edu/~zurawski/cats.html > >>Ut oh, it's a cat. Better not let Magnus near it. > >Well, there's cats, and then there's cats. It makes all the difference. Just one change needed though: >>: |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu >>: =(++)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper >>: c___ (______/ http://ux1.cso.uiuc.edu/~zurawski/cats.html >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - But I'm not going to do it... D'oh! -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4hfd25$lf5@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >AMerwin (amerwin@aol.com) wrote: >: In article <4h2bfp$ppk@bertrand.ccs.carleton.ca>, >: baldguy@lager.engsoc.carleton.ca (William Cudmore) writes: >: >William Christopher Cudmore >: > >: >The Exhalted Overlord of the Clan of the Ancients, >: oh ross, does this qualify as one of those Hi..la..er thingys?? >: AMerwin@aol.com - toafK(?) >: first the wheels, then the brain >Yeah, thanks, AM. >All right, everyone, I think that what we should do here is round up and >quarrantine the Highlander fan thingys until we can figure out what to do >with them. >Magnus, with your decapitating skills, you're the best person to ask for >help here...but would that really be the stupididity think to do? Zzzzz... um, what? Oh. Sure. I wouldn't buy AM right now, Ford has better prospects. *MM >Oh, if only Oinkman were here, he'd give those goudas a good wobbling. >Ross--who'sposts are melting into one
Spatch articulated: : : Jezebell--who wants to know why there isn't any normal mustard in Sweden : : and is planning to smuggle some back into the country with her after her : : next trip to the U.S. : Oh, I bet you've tried sidling up to thise rich Swedes in their big : limousines and asking "Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?" and : they just smile dumbly and say "Ja!" and hand you a large hunk of of aged : parmesan, right? That was you? Cousin Sven's gonna be real mad. He doesn't usually have grey poop on. It sound too much like a gangsta thing to wear. -Jeffzilla ( who is wearing Bugle Boy jeans, though)
In article <4hfos6$cko@allinux2.alliance.net> jreeve29@PROBLEM_WITH_INEWS_DOMAIN_FILE (John Reeves - IDT) writes: 1. Eat it 2. Stuff leer jets full of it, and fly the jets all over the world and parachute the jello down to the needy. Jezebell--who knows of a few people who could do with some Jello. --I like you, I'll kill you last.
yaz pistachio (fnargle@primenet.com) wrote: :Jason Nafziger <jnafz@ix.netcom.com> wrote: :> Looky, looky, tortess@panix.com (Tortess) sez: :> >Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote: :> >: Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just :> >: wanted to say :> > . . . Leap year brings back the wayward. I, too, frittered :> >precious :> >time away on planet Weezbo. Laura, you left your gloves at :> >Commander Zork's. :> >Anyway, stupids, Here I am, signed, sealed, de-frittered, I'm :> >yourz. :> <sniff>Geez, I missed you guys...</sniff> :> So is there anybody still missing? (Please don't mention Vik.) :ya know...<sidling closer> i've been back for a week already. :<jumping up and down> <pointing at self maniacally> :it's me, look, everyone, look, i'm back, LOOK! Now look what you did to all of us using StupeScape! Sigh, ok... </sidling closer> </jumping up and down> </pointing at self manically> --Bill (ahh! now i can read your post! hth! okay, hi!) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) wrote: >Looky, looky, tortess@panix.com (Tortess) sez: > >>Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote: >>: Having returned from my trip to planet Weezbo, I just wanted to say > > >> . . . Leap year brings back the wayward. I, too, frittered precious >>time away on planet Weezbo. Laura, you left your gloves at Commander >>Zork's. > >>Anyway, stupids, Here I am, signed, sealed, de-frittered, I'm yourz. > > ><sniff>Geez, I missed you guys...</sniff> > >So is there anybody still missing? (Please don't mention Vik.) Huh (tm)? Well, there's Keylime and Kaj... --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: ;In article <4hadoi$5bp@echo2.echonyc.com> spatula@retina.net :(Spatch) writes: :>Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) returneth and she doth :>quote:: :>: |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu :>: =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper :>: c___ (______/ http://ux1.cso.uiuc.edu/~zurawski/cats.html :>Ut oh, it's a cat. Better not let Magnus near it. :Well, there's cats, and then there's cats. It makes all the :difference. Well, you recognized it and saw that you didn't need to decapitate it, just in...anyway, will Anti-JN decide if it's fluffy? --Bill (who dares not pop) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
kas2928@gold.acns.fsu.edu (Tank) wrote:
>When I was in third grade, this kid brought a lobster to school for show
>and tell. The lobster peed on my desk. I had to stay in half of recess
>cleaning lobster pee off my desk. I was really mad.
When I was in third grade, a kid defacated on my desk, the whole time screaming
"Crunchy Little Cornballs" over and over again. Finally, the teacher shot him with a
tranquelizer gun, and we got to dissect him later. I got to keep the heart as a
keepsake!
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All cats die. Socrates is dead. Therefore Socrates is a cat.
- Eugene Ionesco, Rhinoceros
My cat's breath smells like cat food - Ralph Wiggum
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Jesper Nilsson // dat92jni@ludat.lth.se or jesper@df.lth.se