In article <43a88t$i8u@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >>..my fingers can manipulate the keyboard so quickly and >>deftly that I amaze myself. >That indicates a certin amount of training. You mispelt it but I'm not complaining. >>(hmmm--manipulate) >[Hmmm--manipulable] <Hmmm--tweezers> >>--Bill (that's pronounced "vee eye") >/^JN - The Anti JN - Pronounced "veem". As in 3.0. *MM -- pronounced "zappa".
Magnus and Anti JN LIVE! :>That indicates a certin amount of training. :You mispelt it but I'm not complaining. You missdelt it but I'm not explaining. :>>(hmmm--manipulate) /* me in the background */ :>[Hmmm--manipulable] :<Hmmm--tweezers> Hmmm--long fingernails --Bill (me) -- Not responsible!
Bill, Magnus and Anti JN LIVE at the Hollywood Bowl! >:>That indicates a certin amount of training. >:You mispelt it but I'm not complaining. >You missdelt it but I'm not explaining. You missnamed it but I'm not geographical. >:>>(hmmm--manipulate) /* Bill in the background */ >:>[Hmmm--manipulable] /* Me in the background - Suspended (tty output) */ >:<Hmmm--tweezers> >Hmmm--long fingernails Ummm--strong fingers >--Bill (Him) /^JN - The Anti JN - (Me) -- ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <43eqkn$7c1@vassun.vassar.edu> Flapjack <nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu> writes: >ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: >><In article <4397ve$g6u@freenet.vcu.edu> pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes: >> >><The "E" is for EFFORT! Now c'mon and give me twenty more! >> >> No. But I'll give you a "V" >> [Flapjack's ass snipped to save bungwidth] >Hey!! That's my ass! Darn! Now all excitement's gone and everybody's member in People Who Have Seen Flapjack's Ass Club. *MM
In article <43f93t$qio$4@mhafm.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >I really meant to attribute my previous followup to this >thread to cabbage, but I screwed up. >No. Waitaminute. I didn't screw up. CI$ did. Yeah, that's >it. CI$ idi. I guess I'd better go to their "Feedback" >section and flame me^H^Hthem for being such idiots. "CI$ idi"? *MM -- veni, vidi, CI$ idi --
In article <BKJXw8UdGPKK083yn@freenet.vancouver.bc.ca>, Lyle Craver <lcraver@freenet.vancouver.bc.ca> wrote: > >You DON'T want to see my Q.ZIP file - the one with >10 >meg< worth of >Q's in zipped form. (I created it one day at work when I was nursing a >bad, bad cold and was trying to look busy when I wasn't....) For the >record, it zips down to 1024 bytes - guaranteed to fill your worst >enemies' hard drive... Well, that's well and truly productive, and we salute you. The stupidest thing I've ever done was code a MUSE robot while drunk. Its name is ART and everything it says rhymes with ART. Use your own shameful imagination here. -- tv's Spatch, who puts the "http" in http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula "Well, it may not be responding because a lot of people are logging into the Internet at this hour..." - fellow at the "I-SNET Information Superhighway On-Ramp" at the Big E, explaining why their net access suddenly went down
So no one told you life was gonna be this weird You're a big frog, you say "mog" Your mom just grew a beard It's like you're always writing in haiku When you make a post by Will Shakespeare and claim that it was by you alt.stupidity Guota-filled and all-new alt.stupidity Bob Vila, just for you alt.stupidity Like you'd say that one too... -- tv's Spatch, who puts the "http" in http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula "Well, it may not be responding because a lot of people are logging into the Internet at this hour..." - fellow at the "I-SNET Information Superhighway On-Ramp" at the Big E, explaining why their net access suddenly went down
spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: SHOT:The skyline of East Tushshtup North Dakota As the opening guitar riff blasts, the OBS logo appears and the word 5TUP1DZ rolls across the scene. SHOT:The cast of the show all sitting on a large ottoman, but not large enough. They all have umbrellas and try to open them. Only Flapjack succeeds and it winds up stuck in Ross's eye. >So no one told you life was gonna be this weird SHOT: The cast tries to clap together and fails miserably. Ross socks Flapjack in retaliation for the eye. >You're a big frog, you say "mog" >Your mom just grew a beard SHOT: yaz pistachio holds a tray loaded with cappuchino at a cute angle and the cups all fall off. >It's like you're always writing in haiku SHOT: Nosy dancing with Spatch around a fountain, then he pushes her in. >When you make a post by Will Shakespeare and claim that it was by you > SHOT: Suzanne Schroeder is lying with hair over her face. She flips it off at it gets caught in a rotating fan. >alt.stupidity SHOT: Ross Garmil socking the crap out of someone who used the word "Elvestite" without permission >Guota-filled and all-new >alt.stupidity SHOT: Flapjack smiling as he posts another witty troll. Then three guys >from alt.flame come in with dictionaries to show him the definition of "spoonerism." Flapjack shoots them. >Bob Vila, just for you SHOT: Spatch tries to dance so no one will notice (I know this isn't funny to the rest of you, but I was in the "Too Darn Hot" number from "Kiss me Kate" with Spatch, trust me, it's hilarious). >alt.stupidity >Like you'd say that one too... > SHOT: Everyone is sitting on the ottoman again, backs to the camera. They are facing a giant picture of Bob Vila. Nosy tries to switch off a lamp, she misses and knocks it over. In leaning to reach it, the entire ottoman tips and everyone falls off. SCENE 1: Central Pork, the cool bacon bar where the stupids hang out. Everyone is gathered around. YAZ PISTACHIO is the waitress bringing them bacon. YAZ: Hey guys. I don't see why I have to wait on you. NOSY: Sorry. You're new to the group, rule state that you have to endure a period of indentured servitude. YAZ: Did you have to Ross? ROSS: Sure, I had to babysit Bill Wilkinson's clones for weeks! FLAPJACK: Piece of cack! Just give 'em some mouth figurines to play with and they're happy! SUZANNE: Yeah, um, a little less talk, a little more bacon, okay? NOSY: (gathering all but SPATCH around) Hey guys! Have you noticed that Spatch hasn't had any lines this episode? YAZ: Maybe he's depressed because his wife, (L)aura, ran off with Magnus Mulqvist. FLAPJACK: Lord knows that would depress me. SUZANNE: Hey, can't you men people go talk to him? FLAPJACK: Gee Ross, are we men? ROSS: I thought we were Muppets. FLAPJACK: I thought we were Elvestites. (ROSS socks him) ROSS AND FLAPJACK: Yeah, we'll do it. (they cross to SPATCH) ROSS: Hey Spatch? Why so blue? SPATCH: I'm not blue. ROSS: You're bluer than a blue M&M. FLAPJACK: Blue M&M's! Where? Where? ROSS: This about (L)aura isn't it? FLAPJACK: It could be worse, it could have been Vikram. ROSS: Hey, you still have your little monkey, cabbage, at home. SPATCH: Actually, it's not about that. It's about. . . ROSS AND FLAPJACK: Yaz? SPATCH: I just really like her user name, okay? FLAPJACK: And I think Suzanne's is really cute, but I don't let my bacon get cold thinking about it! SPATCH: It's just that, ever since my sister, Nosy, and I were in high school with her. . . ROSS: Okay! That's enough! SPATCH: What? ROSS: Parodying "Friends" is one thing, but this is just a bit much! Spatch and Nosy aren't siblings! FLAPJACK: Whitegoat and I are sisters. ROSS: That's not the point! We're just ripping off the show here! We didn't even give credit to Marta Kauffman and David Crane! SPATCH: Are you familiar with the word "monomaniacal?" ROSS: And another thing! How come Spatch gets to be the Ross character? Isn't it gonna confuse people to have one character named Ross and another one who's based on Ross? FLAPJACK: Shut up, or we replace you with Nafziger! Anyone want to take a crack at another scene? flapjack-who wants to be Chandler when he grows up -- Flapjack-farmer tanned, inadequately rested, and full of piss and vinegar "END CONSTPUCTION"-a roadsign I saw about a year ago Now hard at work on improving: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <43hk7a$m64@vassun.vassar.edu>, Flapjack <nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu> wrote: >spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: > >SHOT:The skyline of East Tushshtup North Dakota I hear the big trend in sitcoms next year will be stupid people living in East Tushshtup. >SHOT: Spatch tries to dance so no one will notice (I know this isn't >funny to the rest of you, but I was in the "Too Darn Hot" number from >"Kiss me Kate" with Spatch, trust me, it's hilarious). "But why do I have to be in the dance number in costume? My character's an old guy, an old guy wouldn't dance like that!" "Shut wup and doow da dance!" "I think I'll go hide in this bathroom for the rest of rehearsal." >SHOT: Everyone is sitting on the ottoman again, backs to the camera. >They are facing a giant picture of Bob Vila. Nosy tries to switch off a >lamp, she misses and knocks it over. In leaning to reach it, the entire >ottoman tips and everyone falls off. Oh, I thought Dick Van Dyke was gonna come in at the end and trip. Then again, the budget being what it was, we'd be lucky to settle for Jerry. >ROSS: That's not the point! We're just ripping off the show here! We >didn't even give credit to Marta Kauffman and David Crane! What, are we now parodying Pitfall? >Anyone want to take a crack at another scene? Huh? Anyone want to take crack and re-read the scene? I thought it was funny the way it was. - spatch, who's gonna put this up on the stupid homepage - -- tv's Spatch, who puts the "http" in http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula "Well, it may not be responding because a lot of people are logging into the Internet at this hour..." - fellow at the "I-SNET Information Superhighway On-Ramp" at the Big E, explaining why their net access suddenly went down
I fill it once a week and the damn birds flap down and eat the seeds and spit the shells out all over my balcony. So I have to go out and clean it once a week. What can I do about these fluffy little ingrates? --Bill -- Not responsible!
In article <vtkk.v1wki.1504.01419EB8@elvi.vtkk.fi>, vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: > In article <43a9fv$of7@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > > >Ok, Flapjack, now i have to sock you about five or six times. > >Sorry, but I gotta do it. > > >Sock. > >Sock. > >Sock. > >Sock. > >sock. > >sock. > -- > Did this turn Flapjack into Clinton's cat or what's the general idea? > > *MM Don't be ridiculous Magnus I asxdwfghjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjhkl.,/ flapjack-who could really go for some tuna. . . -- Flapjack and his butt are brought to you by Spatula Tonight "You don't want to be doing something you don't want to be doing" - Eric Hill, former Producer of Stagewest COMING SOON:http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >I fill it once a week and the damn birds flap down and >eat the seeds and spit the shells out all over my balcony. >So I have to go out and clean it once a week. > >What can I do about these fluffy little ingrates? Get yourself a shotgun and a box of shells. Then, each time one of those cute bastards spill seeds on your balcony then you blow his ingrate brain all over the birdfeeder!!! No fukken birds are going to drop birdseed on your balcony after that happens a couple of times... >--Bill Hey! Wait a sec! Didn't we already do this joke? Hang on, I'll check. Yup, we did this joke. Darn. Bill posted: > From 70325.1137@CompuServe.COM Mon Sep 4 20:32:51 MET DST 1995 > Article: 45095 of alt.stupidity > Path: news.lth.se!sunic!sunic.sunet.se!seunet!news2.swip.net > !plug.news.pipex.net!pipex!dish.news.pipex.net!pipex!bt!btnet > !newsfeed.internetmci.com!news.compuserve.com! > news.production.compuserve.com!news > From: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> > Newsgroups: alt.stupidity > Subject: Damn Birds > Date: 4 Sep 1995 01:36:45 GMT > Organization: Hall of the Mushroom King > Lines: 11 > Message-ID: <42dl7d$mv4$4@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> > > They hatch out of that birdfeeder and leave the birdseed shells > scattered all over the balcony. > > Dozens of fluffy little birds. > > Maybe I'll invite Anti-JN over for some finch fries... > > --Bill > > -- > Not responsible! And I responded: > From dat92jni@ludat.lth.se Mon Sep 4 20:49:15 MET DST 1995 > Article: 45116 of alt.stupidity > Path: news.lth.se!dat92jni > From: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) > Newsgroups: alt.stupidity > Subject: Re: Damn Birds > Date: 4 Sep 1995 18:45:24 GMT > Organization: The strangest place > Lines: 22 > Message-ID: <42fhg4$jln@nic.lth.se> > References: <42dl7d$mv4$4@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> > NNTP-Posting-Host: bach-1.ludat.lth.se > > In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: > >They hatch out of that birdfeeder and leave the birdseed shells > >scattered all over the balcony. > > > >Dozens of fluffy little birds. > > > >Maybe I'll invite Anti-JN over for some finch fries... > > Oh, please do, I'd love some crunchy finch fries. > > Have you ever tasted the marrow of a sparrow? > Quite delicious, for the capricious. > > Oh sing it! Crunchy, munchy little birds! > Ta da dum... > > /^JN - The Anti JN - Rather hungry actually. > -- > ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### > # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # > # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # > ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ /^JN - The Anti JN - Rather hungry actually. Wait! Didn't I do that one? -- ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <43ia3u$3av$1@mhadg.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >I fill it once a week and the damn birds flap down and >eat the seeds and spit the shells out all over my balcony. >So I have to go out and clean it once a week. > >What can I do about these fluffy little ingrates? Put a bomb in the bird feeder. *peck* *peck* *peck* *packwood* *peck* *BOOM* -- tv's Spatch, who puts the "http" in http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula "Well, it may not be responding because a lot of people are logging into the Internet at this hour..." - fellow at the "I-SNET Information Superhighway On-Ramp" at the Big E, explaining why their net access suddenly went down
In article <aosu01-2009951525040001@uglp6.cs.auckland.ac.nz>, aosu01@cs.auckland.ac.nz (Alannah O'Sullivan) wrote: >In article <43fho8$cp@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu>, Suzanne Ē Schroeder ><suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> wrote: > >> That my legs seem to be defective. They bend at the >> very end and seperate into five little nubs at the tip. >> Sure, it comes in handy, but I don't want to take gym >> because the others might make fun of me in the shower room. > > >I've never told anyone before, but I have the same problem. I can't >believe that it occurs on both legs. Let's start a support group like .. >ummmm OH MY GOD!!!! YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING FREAKS!!!!! EWWWWW... That is disgusting... sure glad I don't have that problem... ick-ee-poo! Now, why do my shoes keep falling off? ___________________________________________________________ Jason (in parantheses where available) CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.htm "What is attempted murder really? I mean, do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?" -- Sideshow Bob
In article <811360057.13357@kildare.demon.co.uk> Jim Wraith, jim@kildare.demon.co.uk writes: >* Yeah, but what would happen to that crack? Will it fart too? > >Yep! And then the solar system'd crack. That happens all the time! >Don't believe? Then how's the universe all the time? Why do you think the sun is so gaseous? Or how did you think we got the big bang? The universe had too many chili peppers. ______________ Suzanne Schroeder
In article <43nc9g$qlk@linda.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com writes: >D. Austin (daustin@lims02.lerc.nasa.gov) wrote: >: In article <aosu01-1909951532340001@ugln2.cs.auckland.ac.nz>, >aosu01@cs.auckland.ac.nz (Alannah O'Sullivan) says: >: >In article <437tkr$8lu@kelly.teleport.com>, sdc@teleport.com wrote: >: > >: >> I don't know what happened to it. The top part is ok but the bottom part >: >> aint round anymore. What could cause this? >: > >: >Using my special powers, I will try to visualise your car just moments >: >before the bottom part went 'not round anymore'. >: >I see...I see...it's coming..you are driving down the road and, and you >: >drive over something. YES!! It is... a big fat sharp pointy nail! *BLANK* >: >I'm sorry, I lost it. >: >I thought we might be on to something there. Maybe next time. >: > >: >Just ignore it. It might go away. >: > >: >-- >: >Alannah O'Sullivan >: >aosu01@cs.auckland.ac.nz >: Rub a potato on the part that is not round. >It's been about a week now and when I got home from the store and got out >of my car with the potato I just bought, I noticed that my tire looks more >raggedy than Joey Lawrences blue jeans! This won't spread to the other >tires will it? This is getting weird. I've been looking at other cars when >I'm driving down the road and havn't noticed any other cars with this odd >tire problem. Could it be defective? >Also, I think I need shocks or somethin' cause my car just don't handle >the way it used to. Now that's easy: pull the cord off some electric instrument, perhaps a tabletop fan, and grab the naked wire ends with both hands, one hand per one wire end. I don't see how this could enhance your car, but then, I'm stoopid. *MM
In article <65535.6240154@commonlink.com>, Dan P. Brooks <jester@commonlink.com> wrote: > >Mmmm. Me want cookie. >Am mmm mmm amn mmm amn am >Amm mm mmn mmm amn. > -Cookie Monster I think this is the best haiku I've seen on the newsgroup to date. -- tv's Spatch, who puts the "http" in http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula "Well, it may not be responding because a lot of people are logging into the Internet at this hour..." - fellow at the "I-SNET Information Superhighway On-Ramp" at the Big E, explaining why their net access suddenly went down
In article <43o1na$ieg@news.mtu.edu> cagey@grfn.org (Mr. Cagey to me) writes: >On Mon, 18 Sep 1995 19:15:37 LOCAL, Magnus Mulqvist <vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi> >wrote: > > That's tough, in Finland the burger beeves (sp?) are sold in eight-packs, > > the buns in six-packs and the beers in twentyfour-packs. Not to mention > > Hoover vacuum cleaner drive belts which are sold in two-packs. All this > > makes life so goddamn easy. > ^^^^^^^ > You mipelled "spatchdamn" > hth But I thought they are sonym... nosy... synop... that they mean the same now. AIMS? *MM
In article <nosmith-2009950956480001@143.229.230.18> nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: >In article <43o5cd$d94@giga.bga.com>, aardvark@bga.com (aardvark) wrote: >> I went out and bought a new wristwatch on Sunday (now I have two). >> Does this mean that now I have twice as much time on my hands? >Yes, and if we threw you out a window, we would get to see time fly. >-- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. *MM -- from my .sigs collection.
In article <ivan-2009950909380001@221.233.med.umich.edu> ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) writes: >Say...how come if there are Pop Tarts, there aren't any Mom Tarts? >Speak up Mr. Kellogg, I want an answer! I perceive your drift, but think big: Momcorn and a sody mom. Mom Art and Mom Music. Mom-up menus. Momeye. \|/ MOM - Hi! /|\ Far out... *MM -- Heckzamommin'.
Where's Jeffzilla? Ross--who noticed a while ago but is getting worried now.
In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: > >Where's Jeffzilla? It wasn't me, nobody saw me do it! Uh, oh. Sorry, I though you said "wallet". Say, you're right. Where is that large, green, fire-breathing monster? Do you suppose he's lost to Godzilla? >Ross--who noticed a while ago but is getting worried now. /^JN - The Anti JN - Who wasn't noticed but is getting worried now. -- ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Flapjack (nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu) wrote: : moie@wave.co.nz (John Espin) wrote: : >Hi, whats the time please...I cant find my watch. Oh yeah, this is how two : >buttocks were created... : > : >Once upon a time three buttocks were sitting on a seat together, and one said : >"this seat aint big enough for the three of us" and one left. : > : >That is the legend why people only have two buttocks. : > : Ross, are you gonna blast this guy for ripping off Rudyard Kipling? Look, I don't recognize everything and I can't read it all, which is why I always try to deputize people. Want the job, you can sock people, like this--check it out: Sock. Man, that's good. : flapjack-who is glad someone else's buttocks are getting attention Ross--for whom Flapjack's butt will always be first and foremost.
In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated:
>Flapjack (nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu) wrote:
>: moie@wave.co.nz (John Espin) wrote:
>: >[ztuff]
>
>: Ross, are you gonna blast this guy for ripping off Rudyard Kipling?
>
>Look, I don't recognize everything and I can't read it all, which is why
>I always try to deputize people. Want the job, you can sock people, like
>this--check it out:
>
>Sock.
>
>Man, that's good.
Pretty neat trick.
>: flapjack-who is glad someone else's buttocks are getting attention
>Ross--for whom Flapjack's butt will always be first and foremost.
^^^^^^^^
Shouldn't that be "hindmost"?
/^JN - The Anti JN - Or should that be "behind most"?
--
####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> #######
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <walster_d.99.3060AC9B@lincoln.gpsemi.com>, walster_d@lincoln.gpsemi.com (Dave Walster) wrote: >Dave, wondering where Jeffzilla has gone. Yeah!!! Where is Shidei anyway? It's so hard looking at all those Ross posts without corresponding Jeff posts. And what about Richard Le-- ow!!!! What??? ___________________________________________________________ Jason (in parantheses where available) CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.htm "Idiocy is our only option." -- Dustin Hoffman, "Outbreak"
In article <vtkk.v1wki.1523.00AC64E1@elvi.vtkk.fi>, Magnus Mulqvist <vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi> wrote: >In article <nosmith-1809951730520001@143.229.230.29> nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: > >>flapjack-who once had to do an oral presentation in Latin about those >>sacred Roman geese. . .proxima nocte, dum luna obscura est. . .second >>place! > >>-- >Proxima nocte, >dum luna obscura est... >locus secundus! <input type="radio" name="joke" value="1"> THIRD BASE! <br> <input type="radio" name="joke" value="2"> Damn good haiku. <br> <input type="radio" name="joke" value="3"> and bacon. <br> -- tv's Spatch, who puts the "http" in http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula "Well, it may not be responding because a lot of people are logging into the Internet at this hour..." - fellow at the "I-SNET Information Superhighway On-Ramp" at the Big E, explaining why their net access suddenly went down
In some bacon article Misha <mike@geophy.curtin.edu.au> stated: >MAN'S BODY FOUND IN DOCTOR'S ROOMS >Stockholm, Saturday >The decomposed body of a young man has been found in the toilet of a >doctor's waiting room in southern Stockholm. >A Swedish news agency report siad the body had ben there about two months >and was discovered by building workers who noticed a smell coming from the >toilet, which had been locked for several months during refurbishment. >"We don't know who he was but he might have been a junkie" detective inspector >Jerry Ohlsson said. >The body was in an advanced state of decay and could not be identified. >There were no means of identification. The only clue was a pair of pliers >found in the cubicle. >"It's strange no one found him before they did" inspector Ohlsson said. The >man was found in a sitting postion on the toilet. Another case of bad constipation. /^JN - The Anti JN - Sheesh. Jevla nollattor. -- ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Suzanne Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> wrote: :That my legs seem to be defective. They bend at the :very end and seperate into five little nubs at the tip. :Sure, it comes in handy, but I don't want to take gym :because the others might make fun of me in the shower room. I think it was Papa Legba who went through the same trauma a coupla weeks back when he realized that his knees couldn't bend in both directions and his feet weren't disk-shaped with nubs all around and with suction cups in the center. We try to protect you people from such shocks, but we can't be everywhere at once. --Bill (who rarely uses the elevator) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under construction.
In article <DF5o2B.CL8@da_vinci.ecte.uswc.uswest.com>, Bill Wilkinson <wxwilki@lookout> wrote: >First, his Web site made the top 5%. Now his "Pufapalooza Memorial Haiku >Gallery" post made ABOI. alt.best.of.internet? Oh, my, I sure hope not, every time my name is shown on alt.best.of.internet they send me their FAQ and a snide comment. I've come to believe that anything posted to alt.best.of.internet will be replied to with a FAQ and a snide. It's a shame, really. I'm sure if someone replied to every post on alt.stupidity with the FAQ and a "Have some Cheetos!" they'd be locked up and thrown away the key, and I'm sure not condoning those actions, bucko. > >What will he be doing next? Will he remember us when he's more >famous than Tortess? Of course I will, whatsyerface. And I'll remember whoshisname, and whatsername, and whosiface whatsisbutt as well! -- tv's Spatch, who puts the "http" in http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula "Well, it may not be responding because a lot of people are logging into the Internet at this hour..." - fellow at the "I-SNET Information Superhighway On-Ramp" at the Big E, explaining why their net access suddenly went down
I guess my new .sig isn't going to make to make too much of an impression if I post to alt.resume.im.serious, is it? --Bill -- Spatch confiscated the "Not Responsible" .sig that I lifted from FST! Please post your responses to alt dot stoopidity. If you have any questions about this, please post them to the "Begging the Question" thread. Please.
Nosy at ataylor@nmsu.edu wrote: :<In article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: :< I guess my new .sig isn't going to make to make too much :< of an impression if I post to alt.resume.im.serious, is it? : I dunno, what did you do while "serious" was paused? Fed the damn fluffy birds. : I mean, like, you were doing something serious...and : then you paused it....and then you're gonna get serious : again by resuming "serious", ok, I'm down with all that, : but I dunno why there's a froup for that (although why : NOT, eh?) so....wait, I forgot the question. Please state that as a question. :-- :Not sure. It's simple. A question has one of those squiggly things at the end. They look like this--> ? :<Spatch confiscated the "Not Responsible" .sig that I lifted :<from FST! Please post your responses to alt dot stoopidity. :<If you have any questions about this, please post them :to the "Begging the Question" thread. Please. : Please! Thank-you. --Bill -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under construction.
pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes:
:>In article <vtkk.v1wki.1496.006CF551@elvi.vtkk.fi>,
:>vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
:>>In article <DEvyJp.4wp@uns.bris.ac.uk> chids@mail.bris.ac.uk (ID. Schofield) writes:
:>>Vikram Khare (vkhare@premier3.premier.net) wrote:
:>>NOTHING?
:>>Perhaps I have missed the point.
:>No sir, you have not.
: Actually, I think Bill still has the point, don't ya Bill?
^
Yeah, it's right there___________________________________________|
But it's developed some kind of strange growth on top of it
--Bill
--
wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause.
Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at:
http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
In article <vtkk.v1wki.1537.00F20EFC@elvi.vtkk.fi>,
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
> In article <ivan-2009950909380001@221.233.med.umich.edu>
ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) writes:
>
> >Say...how come if there are Pop Tarts, there aren't any Mom Tarts?
> >Speak up Mr. Kellogg, I want an answer!
>
> I perceive your drift, but think big:
>
> Momcorn and a sody mom. Mom Art and Mom Music.
> Mom-up menus. Momeye.
^^^^^^
Wasn't he the villain on Thundercats?
>
> \|/
> MOM - Hi!
> /|\
>
> Far out...
>
> *MM -- Heckzamommin'.
How about momming a balloon or momming in unexpectedly?
What about Momerazzi who take photographs of celebrities?
A mom fly in baseball?
A mom gun?
A momlar tree?
Mommycock?
A momularity contest?
A mom quiz?
flapjack-who has to be stopped
--
Flapjack and his butt are brought to you by Spatula Tonight
"You don't want to be doing something you don't want to be doing" - Eric Hill, former Producer of Stagewest
COMING SOON:http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes: :Ohhh Sataaaan! Where are youuuuuu! :(lyrics) :Satan Satan Satan :Where are you? :We got some stupidity to do now! :C'mon Satan Satan :Don't be prude! :We know your Crappy Homepage! He's here, already. I just saw him posting in another thread less than an hour ago. --Bill (who can see people posting in threads thousands of miles away) -- wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause. Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at: http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
In article <43p29o$adl@freenet.vcu.edu>, pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) wrote: > >Ohhh Sataaaan! Where are youuuuuu! > > >(lyrics) > >Satan Satan Satan >Where are you? >We got some stupidity to do now! >C'mon Satan Satan >Don't be prude! >We know your Crappy Homepage! Go to hell. ___________________________________________________________ Jason (in parantheses where available) CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.htm "What is attempted murder really? I mean, do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?" -- Sideshow Bob
In article <43si0e$aj0@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: > Flapjack (nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu) wrote: > : moie@wave.co.nz (John Espin) wrote: > : >Hi, whats the time please...I cant find my watch. Oh yeah, this is how two > : >buttocks were created... > : > > : >Once upon a time three buttocks were sitting on a seat together, and one said > : >"this seat aint big enough for the three of us" and one left. > : > > : >That is the legend why people only have two buttocks. > : > > > : Ross, are you gonna blast this guy for ripping off Rudyard Kipling? > > Look, I don't recognize everything and I can't read it all, which is why > I always try to deputize people. Want the job, you can sock people, like > this--check it out: > > Sock. Ouch. > > Man, that's good. Do you think you could demonstrate on cabbage next time? Okay, I'll take the job, but I'm gonna be ruthless! (Firesign Theatre reference in 3. . .2. . .1 . . .take it away, Spatch) > > : flapjack-who is glad someone else's buttocks are getting attention > > Ross--for whom Flapjack's butt will always be first and foremost. flapjack-who is over-freakin' joyed -- Flapjack and his butt are brought to you by Spatula Tonight "You don't want to be doing something you don't want to be doing" - Eric Hill, former Producer of Stagewest COMING SOON:http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
[ALT DOT] STOOPIDITY CONTEST! WHO will post alt DOT stoopidity's 50000th message? The time is NIGH! Take PART and win one of the EXCELLENT prizes! They will SOLVE all your problems (if any) FOREVER! 1st prize (to the writer of the 50000th message): Honorable DECAPITATION! 2nd 'n 3rd prizes (to the writers of the 50001st and 49999th messages): Single TICKET to Petaluma! Apply immediately and^H^H^Hor REGRET!!
The Decapitator wrote: : [ALT DOT] STOOPIDITY CONTEST! :WHO will post alt DOT stoopidity's 50000th message? Neat! Did I get to? Do you use one of those cgi/bin thingies to keep trak? (How? HOW!????) :1st prize (to the writer of the 50000th message): : Honorable DECAPITATION! Far out! That's a load off my shoulders! :2nd 'n 3rd prizes (to the writers of the 50001st and :49999th messages): : Single TICKET to Petaluma! Huh? Is that like munimula spelled backwards? --Who Wonders Whaterver Happened To Those Robots (bill) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under construction.
There's simply too many massages in this froup to read. So I'm not gonna read
'em, I'm just gonna follow up to em.....
"Yeah and Rip Taylor too".......hahahahahahaaa
"and bacon"................hahahahahaaa
'Spatch, stop that or you'll go blind'......hahahaha
'42'........hahahahaaa
'world's largest grocery store? I have the world's largest booger under my
desk'.....hahahaaaa
'corndogs'
'papa legba is really the antiElvis'......
There, I should be covered for awhile. I would say to post and let me know
how I did, but then I'd have to read it and then I'd be in the same predicament
as before.....So, I'll accept your complete avoidance of this and any of my
future posts as endorsement and amusement......
D'oh!
"...the verbal hydra..."
"Have Flame, Will Travel"
semy@msg.ti.com
In article <43q6a1$c06@news.mtu.edu> cagey@grfn.org (Cagey) writes: >On 19 Sep 1995 22:18:58 -0400, tv's Spatch <spatula@gecko.concorde.com> wrote: > > In article <Pine.OSF.3.91.950918201551.18784J-100000@sun.lclark.edu>, > > Linsel, Master of Lemur Magic <lgreene@lclark.edu> wrote: > > >On 14 Sep 1995, Karl Mac Mc Kinnon wrote: > > >> What is Xem? > > > I believe that is the sound of you clearing your voice. Please Stop. > > In Yiddish, that would be chem! > What is that in Finnish? Flem? No. I didn't want to corrupt your nuuzreeders, but since you asked: *MM roughly resents: Xem in finnish: Ta-da: Epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyys NO CARR˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙
In article <43rqda$j76@vector.wantree.com.au> Zoe Taylor <zot@wantree.com.au> writes: >hello, i am a sad and neglected user who doesn't get any e-mail. >gripe for the day- >why do i always get the gnomes, huns or the dogs in baskets? >hint for the day- >dont' get the ones that rattle, they always contain the huns, gnomes >or dogs in baskets. >metaphore for the day- >my life is like a kinder egg, hollow, full of air, and people throw >me out when they realise that i don't move and that i am a gnome. >doesn't anyone else think that it is strange that there is a baby >smurf in the smurfs and yet we never saw the girl smurf get pregnant? >well i shall just drag my useless soul out of this news group and >be on my way. <sob> Let's comfort this poor soul with a nice little haiku. Hmmm... "Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me" *MM
In article <43q6a1$c06@news.mtu.edu> cagey@grfn.org (Cagey) writes: >On 19 Sep 1995 22:18:58 -0400, tv's Spatch <spatula@gecko.concorde.com> wrote: > > In article <Pine.OSF.3.91.950918201551.18784J-100000@sun.lclark.edu>, > > Linsel, Master of Lemur Magic <lgreene@lclark.edu> wrote: > > >On 14 Sep 1995, Karl Mac Mc Kinnon wrote: > > >> What is Xem? > > > I believe that is the sound of you clearing your voice. Please Stop. > > In Yiddish, that would be chem! > What is that in Finnish? Flem? No. I didn't want to corrupt your nuuzreeders, but since you asked: *MM roughly resents: Xem in finnish: Ta-da: Epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyys NO CARR˙˙˙˙˙˙˙˙
tv's Spatch (spatula@gecko.concorde.com) blithered:
> In article <43jsk1$lsd@duck.inetnebr.com>,
> yaz pistachio <fnargle@falcon.inetnebr.com> wrote:
> >the ol' noozreider (note how i cleverly worked "Reid" in there?) was
> >down ALL WEEKEND, which means that i didn't get a chance to see and
> >be thoroughly amused by "Stupids."
> Well, you can point your web browser to the following esteemed yoo-are-ell:
> http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula/stupids.html
> MY GOD, IT'S ALL THERE IN ITS ENTIRETY!!!
it's too late. not only did i see it there, but Flapjack nice enough to
mail me the whole thing. (two days after that, my noozfeid suddenly
decided to regurgitate it and there it was, in new messages.)
> >Flapjack, i'm terribly afraid that you're going to have to write another
> >one. you may ask the clones for assistance if you wish. they're
> >currently locked in a room with an infinite number of monkeys and some
> >typewriters.
> Well, the number of typewriters has to be infinite, too, or else the ~-x
> (where ~ is infinity and x is the number of typewriters) monkeys, the
> ones that don't have typewriters, will get bored and start clubbing each
> other over the head with used banana peels.
they were working in shifts. SOME of the monkeys had to keep the clones
occupied, otherwise they'd be running around annoying the monkeys who
were trying to TYPE. monkeys have their priorities, you know.
> I wish my keyboard had the infinity symbol so I wouldn't have to type ~
> when I wanted to type infinity.
i have an Infinity Key on my keyboard, it's right next to the Panic Button.
the only use i've found for it so far, though, is when i get into one of
those "did so, did not" type of arguments.
oh, nevermind. it's been a long day.
> - spatch, btw, we missed ya -
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww. now look what you did, i'm all mushy and sentimental.
sheesh.
--beth (who realizes that typing from the floor is more difficult,
but it's so much safer this way, as she tends to fall off her
chair a lot while reading this froup.)
--
Predictability is the step-son of ingenuity.
-Guy Friesch, _Fear of a Black Hat_
In some bacon article cagey@grfn.org stated:
>On 19 Sep 1995 22:18:58 -0400, tv's Spatch <spatula@gecko.concorde.com> wrote:
> > In article <Pine.OSF.3.91.950918201551.18784J-100000@sun.lclark.edu>,
> > Linsel, Master of Lemur Magic <lgreene@lclark.edu> wrote:
> > >On 14 Sep 1995, Karl Mac Mc Kinnon wrote:
> > >> What is Xem?
> > >>
> > > I believe that is the sound of you clearing your voice. Please Stop.
> >
> > In Yiddish, that would be chem!
>
> What is that in Finnish? Flem?
>
>cagey -- <Xem><Xem><Xem><splotch>..Hey, Flem!
I was uzing my k00l NUsReeder NetsCPae on dis Post an
iT dumpid c0re on iT so i Hadd t0 uze trn t0 reed iT.
Pleeze dont uze doze taGs anyMore cuz dey sUck.
/^JN - The Anti JN - Who never heard of the tags <Xem> and <splotch> but he
could imagine them in the netscape "standard".
--
####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> #######
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote:
: In article <nosmith-2009951900440001@143.229.230.18>,
: nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote:
: >In article <811635430.14843@kildare.demon.co.uk>,
: jim@kildare.demon.co.uk
: >(Jim Wraith) wrote:
: >
: >flapjack-who will opening for Jerry Seinfeld next week. . .all
: right,
: >he's a doorman, but it' still true!!!
: Flapjack's a mormon? Can he still legally be a part of the
: Official alt.stupidity Religion That I Missed Everything About
: Over The Summer So I Still Don't Know If I'm Satan?
Spatch won the God elections. I think it was a tossup between you
and Bill Gates for the Satan office though.
---Steve (The official Santa of alt.stupidity)
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
In article <vtkk.v1wki.1546.008C9F79@elvi.vtkk.fi>, vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: > "Soy un perdedor ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ - so that's what they said! All this time I've been screaming at the top of my lungs "So, walk out to the door." Boy, am I embarassed now. > I'm a loser baby so > why don't you kill me" > > *MM You just know that Ross is gonna see this, oh how I pitty you. Reid Who is "saving all his food stamps for burning down the trailer park."
22 September 1995
To: Mr. William Z Grates the 8th esq. Tin Pot Software Inc. 1 Virus Way Windowville PX 90210 Ref.: Your Gold Visa Card Credit Application Dear Mr. Grates We thank you for your recent written application for a Gold Visa Card with our esteemed establishment. Prior to issuance of your new Gold Visa Card there are a number of items on the application which require further explanation. 1). The entry for your last name appears to be erroneous. Unfortunately we can find no record on our database of over 4.5 billion people world wide who have a last name of "God". 2). Social security numbers are normally 9 digits long and have a specific format of ###-##-####. Your entry of simply "1" does not meet the aforementioned criteria. 3). The characteristics of a normal address are firstly a number followed by the name of a road. Subsequent lines usually include a city, a state of residence and a zip or postal code. An identifying country for overseas applicants should also be included. Regrettably your submission of "Heaven" is inappropriate. 4). Although the formats of dates of birth vary from country to country the requirement as indicated on our application specifically asks for "Month - Day - Year" format. Day 1 just does not cut it. 5). With reference to the line marked occupation we note that you wrote "Master of the Universe". As is the norm for all new applications, we checked both the personal references you supplied and received a somewhat different answer, to whit; Reference A says: The last I knew he was planning this huge scam which involved some massive blue chip company in New York and he was going to sell them a right bill of goods for millions and millions of dollars. He said not only was he going to get a shit load of money but after it was a done deal and they read the small print they would find that all they had bought was a load of floppy plastic things. The stuff on them still belonged to him and each time they tried to sell one of these things they would have to send him a kick back. He said the best of it was though, was that he still hadn't dreamed up what to put on the floppy plastic things and he could make any old crap up. Reference B says: During our days at school together I was always disgusted at the peddling and pimping which he undertook. The sale of dirty needles, bad acid, dried tea leaves mixed with the cannabis, cocaine diluted with talcum powder, water mixed with the vodka and whiskey and of course all the prostitutes had to have either VD or gonorrhea. The fast money he made for the shitty services he provided and a take it or leave it attitude certainly left a bad taste in many of his punters' mouths (and their bloodstream). 6). The box for annual income clearly has sufficient room for a standard entry of up to 7 digits. The $2,000,000,000.00 you tried to fit in their cannot be read by our digital imaging computer (which we note is running on Tin Pot Software) and we ask that you amend this to a size more in line with the available technology. Furthermore, should you insist on including a figure which is almost as large as the national debt we will of course require proof of income which should be in the form of a recent weekly pay stub or a pay packet if you are paid in cash. 7). We have on our applications numerous boxes for existing financial obligations, mortgage payments, car payments, alimony, other regular financial commitments and miscellaneous. We are unable to accept "I own you" and "You owe me" as suitable answers to these questions and we ask that you refrain from being supercilious in your reply. 8). Finally, we always include a couple of lines entitled "Please list any other pertinent information which may help us in assessing your application". Regrettably your answer of "Please see attached" is inadmissible especially when we found a 35,000 word diatribe in manuscript format accompanying your application. Further review of this manuscript led us to believe that your intentions are not altogether in keeping with the goodness of our fellow man, specifically: a). You wanted the manuscript published in the New York Times and the Washington Post. b). O J is as guilty as hell c). Michael Jackson is a pedophile d). Serbia should be nuked out of existence e). Saddam is a wuss f). Orville Redenbacher made crappy popcorn g). President Clinton is an arsehole and so is Bill h). Tin Pot software is crash proof i). I am God and I am never wrong And other seemingly endless manifestations and propaganda which are far too lengthy to go into here. You may reply in a similar format as to the outline of this document and until such time as we receive your reply we regret to inform that on this occasion your application for a GOLD VISA CARD has been "DENIED". Should you have any comments or suggestions you may write directly to: The Equal Opportunities and Fair Trades Commission 666 Avenue of the Americas New York NY 10023 and mark your envelope "Another stupid crybaby who has been refused credit" Yours faithfully The Credit Department. ________________________________________________________________ This material was conceived, written, composed and presented by: Steve Warrington. You are free to make copies but please acknowledge the author.
yaz pistachio (fnargle@falcon.inetnebr.com) wrote:
: Reid Fleming (ivan@adventures.of) wrote:
: > If Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear,
: > and Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
: > Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy,
: > wuz he?
: wait, wait, gimme a minute, i know this one.... wasn't he, like, not
: allowed to join in the reindeer games or something?
:
: no, no, that's not right. oh, i know! isn't fuzzy wuzzy that one
: guy who kissed all the girls and made them cry?
I thought he stuck his finger in a dam dike.
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
Or bacon Not bacon Plus bacon Divided by bacon Bacon squared Minus bacon Times bacon
Hi, my name is Spatch, and I am running for the New Mexico State Senate. Why? BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE IN THIS FREAKIN' NEWSGROUP IS!! So send all your money to Charles Patch 14 Frottage Lane Amherst, MA 01002 Or call 413-584-7550. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "vascu" in "cardiovascular" "Oh, it's plastic. This changes everything." - Ben Gagnon Wonder why it's among the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula I heart my dog's head, but I honk for the Lord. (Plugged!)
Hello friends!
My name is John, and I am running for the New Mexico State Senate
during the 1996 elections. One of the reasons I have chosen to run is to combat
the
proposed state and federal regulations of the Internet. As you know, the
Internet
was never designed to be regulated! It was designed to allow communications in
the event of anuclear war or a major catastrophe. I OPPOSE REGULATION, and if
elected
will fight to preserve your constitutional rights. HOWEVER, I NEED YOUR HELP!
I am asking each person who reeives this message to send $15.00 to the
John Klopp Campaign Committee. If we pull together, we CAN protect our first
amendment rights! HELP ME show the politicians the POWER behind this
important NETWORK. Please send contributions to:
The John Klopp Campaign Committee
542 Glenrock suite #17
Los Angeles, CA 90024
--
I should say something clever and witty here...
http://neurosun.medsch.ucla.edu/BMML/Klopp
In article <43dml4$t0h@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, rocknation@aol.com (Rocknation) wrote: >Subj: Help Get Metal back On MTV 95-09-14 22:02:10 EDT >From: MilanG1628 > >Hey guys--when was the last time you saw a Hard Rock or Heavy Metal Video >on MTV? Yesterday. >Quite a while, right? Well, do YOU wanna do something about that? Can I finish my sub first? > I'm starting an E-Mail petition to get the music we love back on MTV, and >I need ALL the help I can get! You certainly do... > If you want to get even with MTV for ignoring us metal heads, e-mail >a response to me, and I will add it to my Metal petition! I will combine >all responses into one GIGABYTE-sized piece of E-Mail-- Even if that means copying the same message one MILLION times!!!!! >they will have NO >way of ignoring us then! What if they just don't read it? >I'll send as many messages as it takes to get >OUR music back on the tube! Dammit, Rock, you've been watching The Shawshank Redemption again, haven't you? >If you can spend a few seconds to e-mail me, >I URGE you to contribute to this ROCKIN' cause!!!! You misspelled "D@@D!!!!!" > If we're lucky, we can get the Ball back or maybe your marbles! >or even get a daily metal >show on! Since they have stuff like Jams and Alternative Nation on for 2 >hours EVERY DAY, they can at least do the same for Metal! Hey! You're right! And while we're at it, let's get two hours a day for reggae, country, ska, punk, oi, ambient, techno, industrial, classical, swing, jazz, blues... >It's ONLY fair, >right? No! It's also STUPID! >In other countries, Metal is still VERY popular, and is supported >by the media. Is it in the United States of America? Uh... hold on... Rue McClanahan? >NO!!!!!!! Damn!!! >Many new >and very talented bands may never see the light of day That's okay, it's not a very good movie anyway... One of MJF's worst, IMO... >thanks to media >monopolies like MTV! Many Metal veterans can't even sell out or play the >venues they used to due to NO support from the media! Yeah, that's why... >Meanwhile, 3-chord >hack bands and child-molesting freaks are on MTV practically 24 hours a >day! What? They've started showing Bacon Sandwiches videos? >And they call this the land of opportunity. *blinks* *again* *looks out window at homeless man sleeping on bus stop bench* *blinks again* >IT'S TIME TO FIGHT >BACK!!! YEAH!!!!! You take Kurt Loder, I've got Idalis, Spatch'll kick Abbey Terkuhle's ass!!!!! >You CAN make a difference, and all you have to do is is hit >command-M and e-mail me at MilanG1628@aol.com--PLEASE! >Thanks For Your Time, >Milan > >E-mail all responses to: MilanG1628@aol.com Thank you, drive through... (for old time's sake...) ___________________________________________________________ Jason (in parantheses where available) CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.htm "Idiocy is our only option." -- Dustin Hoffman, "Outbreak"
In article <Pine.SOL.3.91.950924160430.8612A-100000@lawson.its.utas.edu.au>, "Oinkman (Damien Leer)" <dleer@lawson.its.utas.edu.au> wrote: >On 21 Sep 1995, Esa Vapa wrote: > >> Testing, how this system works. > > as soon as you know, could you please let me know? All it it ever says >to me is "oink!" > > Oinkman -- it says a lot of other stuff too, but I can't repeat it here ;-) > Sure you can, it's on that really annoying thread that looks like this: >>>> Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork >>>> Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork >>>> Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork >>>> Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork Bork >>> Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank >>> Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank >>> Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank >>> Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank Spank >> Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge >> Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge >> Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge >> Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge Spooge ___________________________________________________________ Jason (in parantheses where available) CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.htm "Idiocy is our only option." -- Dustin Hoffman, "Outbreak"
In article <444grm$rc2$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >Suzanne Schroder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> sang: > >:I can't quit singing! It's driving everyone crazy. >:That's all I do! At my job, at home, everywhere! >:What should I do? > >Oh, Suzanne. I know the answer to that question. Thank >you. But nevermind that. Did you know that there was this >couple in Colorado (I think) who's last name was "Daub" and >named their first-born "Zippety Do" because they were fans >of Disney's "Song of the South?" Well, I knew a girl whose last name was Lear and her first name was Chandal. So there. > >I hope this helps. > >:signed, > >:Alanis Morrissette > >Huh? Well, you oughta know. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "vascu" in "cardiovascular" "Oh, it's plastic. This changes everything." - Ben Gagnon Wonder why it's among the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula I heart my dog's head, but I honk for the Lord. (Plugged!)
In article <444grm$rc2$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >Suzanne Schroder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> sang: > >:I can't quit singing! It's driving everyone crazy. >:That's all I do! At my job, at home, everywhere! >:What should I do? > >Oh, Suzanne. I know the answer to that question. Thank >you. But nevermind that. Did you know that there was this >couple in Colorado (I think) who's last name was "Daub" and >named their first-born "Zippety Do" because they were fans >of Disney's "Song of the South?" Well, I knew a girl whose last name was Lear and her first name was Chandal. So there. > >I hope this helps. > >:signed, > >:Alanis Morrissette > >Huh? Well, you oughta know. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "vascu" in "cardiovascular" "Oh, it's plastic. This changes everything." - Ben Gagnon Wonder why it's among the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula I heart my dog's head, but I honk for the Lord. (Plugged!)
llama@gnu.mit.edu (Paul Kautz) wrote: :In article <305855d4@etc.its.nl>, wab@etc.its.nl :<wab@etc.its.nl> wrote: :* llama@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Paul Kautz) wrote: :* PK> That doesn't rhyme. Let's see your poetic license. :* And where is it written that poetry must rhyme? :In my pants. I'd remove the tag and mail it to you for proof, :but you know about tag-removal penalties. In fact, I'm in :danger right now, as it is well known that the NSA monitors :alt.stupidity, which is why I'm going by a secret identity :specifically designed to go unnoticed in this froup. :-- Bill Wilkinson Who? --Bill -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under conspuction.
In article <305855d4@etc.its.nl>, wab@etc.its.nl <wab@etc.its.nl> wrote: * llama@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Paul Kautz) wrote: * PK> That doesn't rhyme. Let's see your poetic license. * And where is it written that poetry must rhyme? In my pants. I'd remove the tag and mail it to you for proof, but you know about tag-removal penalties. In fact, I'm in danger right now, as it is well known that the NSA monitors alt.stupidity, which is why I'm going by a secret identity specifically designed to go unnoticed in this froup. -- Bill Wilkinson
In some bacon article ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) stated: ><In article <43sm0t$5ms@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu> Suzanne Ē Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> writes: > >< In article <43p876$6g4@giga.bga.com> MascoJones, aardvark@bga.com writes: >< >Has anyone seen my cheese grater? >< >If so, please let me know where and when you last saw it. Thanks. > >< >< Ha! As Dame of McDonald Land I sent my merry band of >< plunderers over to your house and took it! I'm asking >< for a ransom, but you have to figure out what it is.... > > Yer both gonna get busted; that's *cheese* *paraphanalia* yer > discussing, and y'all know what *that* means. That's probable cause for any CEA-agent. Good thing the Dame of MacDonald Land has bought off the CEA, but I wouldn't want to be in aardvark's shoes... /^JN - The Anti JN - Almost free of his cheese dependency. -- ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article spatula@gecko.concorde.com stated: >In article <444grm$rc2$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com>, >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >>Suzanne Schroder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> sang: >> >>:I can't quit singing! It's driving everyone crazy. >>:That's all I do! At my job, at home, everywhere! >>:What should I do? >> >>Oh, Suzanne. I know the answer to that question. Thank >>you. But nevermind that. Did you know that there was this >>couple in Colorado (I think) who's last name was "Daub" and >>named their first-born "Zippety Do" because they were fans >>of Disney's "Song of the South?" > >Well, I knew a girl whose last name was Lear and her first name was Chandal. >So there. Ummm. Is she some kind of relative to the lamp I tried to pick up this saturday? >>I hope this helps. >> >>:signed, >> >>:Alanis Morrissette >> >>Huh? > >Well, you oughta know. Know what? Darn, I'm confused. /^JN - The Anti JN - && bacon. -- ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article llama@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Paul Kautz) stated: >In article <305855d4@etc.its.nl>, wab@etc.its.nl <wab@etc.its.nl> wrote: >* llama@gnu.ai.mit.edu (Paul Kautz) wrote: >* PK> That doesn't rhyme. Let's see your poetic license. >* And where is it written that poetry must rhyme? > >In my pants. I'd remove the tag and mail it to you for proof, but >you know about tag-removal penalties. In fact, I'm in danger right >now, as it is well known that the NSA monitors alt.stupidity, which is >why I'm going by a secret identity specifically designed to go unnoticed >in this froup. > >-- Bill Wilkinson Hum. Yeah, one more Bill wont be noticed in this group. /^JN - The Anti JN -- Bill Wilkinson -- ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article aosu01@cs.auckland.ac.nz (Alannah O'Sullivan) stated: >IT WAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION BY "MIKE" THAT ICECREAM HAS NO BONES. MY ATTENTION WAS BROUGHT TO BONES THAT IT, ICECREAM BY "MIKE", HAS NO TO. /^JN - The Anti JN - JN The ^JN / Anti -- ####### <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/AntiJN.html"> Anti! </A> ####### # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
It's incredibly long. To save bandwidth, I'll post it here compressed. Here it is: "BELCH.ZIP" Sorry, I can't post that as a belch.Z file, only my clones have Unix. --Bill (who dimly wonders if this post won't seem that funny in the morning--really) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under construction.
nosmith@vaxsar.edu (Falpjack) wrote: :In article <43o5cd$d94@giga.bga.com>, aardvark@bga.com :(aardvark) wrote: :> I went out and bought a new wristwatch on Sunday (now I have :>two). :> Does this mean that now I have twice as much time on my hands? :Yes, and if we threw you out a window, we would get to see time :fly. :flapjack-who didn't really post that Yes you did. I just saw you post it. From thousands of miles away. Besides, the defenstration thread died out last spring. Or something. --Bill (hth--& damned glad my windows are only one floor up hummm, humm, the window, the window, the sec...iiiEEEE!!!) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under construction.
I woke up and my dog was gone. I thought he had been murdered so I went
downstairs and it was worse... He was humping my cat - doggie style!!!
And the cat's a boy!!!! AND THE CAT WAS PURRING!!!!!!!! My life sucks. :(
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
>In article <ATAYLOR.95Sep20143105@gauss.nmsu.edu>, >ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: ><In <43ncbj$pa9@newsbf02.news.aol.com> odysseu620@aol.com (ODYSSEU620) ><writes: >< ><Hi! ><Bye! ><Hi! ><Bye! >Hi, Ku! ^^^^^^ I think that was Carl Douglas's first inspiration: Everybody was Hi, Ku Fighting! HUH! but the public at large was not quite ready for such poetry. cabbage: Issac Hayes IS the Duke, man!
In article <443l1c$lt5@ixnews7.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach ) writes:
>In <43o5u0$h16@titan.np.ac.sg> twa@titan.np.ac.sg (Timmins William
>Anthony) writes:
>[snip]
>> ___
>> /
>> /__/ . / /_ _/
>>/__/_/_/_/ _/
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>Does that say, "Bait"?
___
/
/__/ . / /_ _/
No, it says "/__/_/_/_/ _/ ".
*MM
In article <43gc72$8qp@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> wright, wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu writes: >when a drink i pour >it opens a secret door >to a mind garden Get the spiders off! They're biting me! Everywhere! No one can see them?!?! _______________ Suzanne Schroeder
In article <444vqg$fv8@vassun.vassar.edu>, Flapjack <nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu> wrote: Someone else <look it up!> wrote: >> >>Flapjack's a moron? Then why isn't he in alt.moronicy instead >>of here? > >I couldn't pass their rigorous entrance exam. > >It was that essay question "How has hitting your head against the floor >changed you life?" > >flapjack-who would like to see one of you guys answer that "It silenced the voices in my head for a brief instant; and, instead of them telling me to commit various acts of random gratutitous violence all in the name of Satan, they all simultaneously went 'Ouch'." -- tv's Spatch, the guy who took the "oingo" out of "Oingo Boingo" "Tequila and Slurpees, it's White Trash Margarita Night!" - Bacon Sandwiches It's Useless -and- in the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula And the little pig was happy, even in his dreams.
Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: In <447fd5$8fm@linda.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com writes:
: >
: >. (1000.0@compuserv.com) wrote:
: >: Anyone interested in setting up a new Newsgroup
: >
: >: alt.farm.animals
: >
: >: or even
: >
: >: alt.farmyard.animals
: >
: >: ?????
: >
: >What would we talk about?
: I don't know, but my cat's purring in anticip
: ation
That sucks. I wonder what that pervert is thinking about?
---Steve (Who's horribly, horribly misunderstood in the dog and cat thread)
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
I am stuck on band-aid, and band-aid's stuck on me. It's becoming a problem, as I have been stuck to this bandaid, which is also stuck to my chair, for three days now, and I am currently 72 minutes late for -- 73 minutes late for work. I've tried scrubbing, and soaking -- even blow-torching, but all that did was give me third-degree burns. I'm running out of options. 74 minutes. (I type slow.) -- Gesundheit.
In article <446grm$lc5@panix3.panix.com>, tortess@panix.com (Tortess) wrote: > I am stuck on band-aid, and band-aid's stuck on me. > > It's becoming a problem, as I have been stuck to this bandaid, which is > also stuck to my chair, for three days now, and I am currently 72 minutes > late for -- 73 minutes late for work. > > I've tried scrubbing, and soaking -- even blow-torching, but all that did > was give me third-degree burns. I'm running out of options. > > 74 minutes. (I type slow.) Don't do anything! Go for the record! Why I heard one time about this guy who was super glued to a chair for, I don't know, a long time anyhow, and I bet if you beat his record you'd be famous! (at least in this newsfroup anyhoo) Reid Where is the band aid stuck anyhoo? Just curious, in a red blooded american male way.
In article <446grm$lc5@panix3.panix.com>, Tortess <tortess@panix.com> wrote: > >I am stuck on band-aid, and band-aid's stuck on me. > >It's becoming a problem, as I have been stuck to this bandaid, which is >also stuck to my chair, for three days now, and I am currently 72 minutes >late for -- 73 minutes late for work. > >I've tried scrubbing, and soaking -- even blow-torching, but all that did >was give me third-degree burns. I'm running out of options. > >74 minutes. (I type slow.) >-- >Gesundheit. You forgot "Signed, Alanis Morrisette." Hope this helps! -- tv's Spatch, the guy who took the "oingo" out of "Oingo Boingo" "Tequila and Slurpees, it's White Trash Margarita Night!" - Bacon Sandwiches It's Useless -and- in the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula And the little pig was happy, even in his dreams.
In article <449fdl$h60@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >In some bacon article ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) stated: >><In article <43sm0t$5ms@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu> Suzanne Ē Schroeder ><suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> writes: >> >>< In article <43p876$6g4@giga.bga.com> MascoJones, aardvark@bga.com writes: >>< >Has anyone seen my cheese grater? >>< >If so, please let me know where and when you last saw it. Thanks. >> >>< >>< Ha! As Dame of McDonald Land I sent my merry band of >>< plunderers over to your house and took it! I'm asking >>< for a ransom, but you have to figure out what it is.... >> >> Yer both gonna get busted; that's *cheese* *paraphanalia* yer >> discussing, and y'all know what *that* means. >That's probable cause for any CEA-agent. >Good thing the Dame of MacDonald Land has bought off the CEA, >but I wouldn't want to be in aardvark's shoes... >/^JN - The Anti JN - Almost free of his cheese dependency. >-- Here's SEK 2503, go to the mall and buy some more! *MM -- who is hooked on other people's dependencies.
>>In some bacon article aosu01@cs.auckland.ac.nz (Alannah O'Sullivan) stated: >>IT WAS BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION BY "MIKE" THAT ICECREAM HAS NO BONES. >In some corn article dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) smirks: >MY ATTENTION WAS BROUGHT TO BONES THAT IT, ICECREAM BY "MIKE", HAS NO TO. THAT WAS BROUGHT TO BONES' ATTENTION THAT MY "MIKE" IS NO ICECREAM BOY. *MM
For the last three weeks, I have been going to work at my new job. Last Friday, I got a paycheck. Coincidence? I think not. -- Gesundheit.
ldale@nmsu.edu (Lilia Dale) wrote: :Jim Wraith wrote: :: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: [alt.destroy.the.earth stuff sorrowfully snipped] I had some caustic remark to make but decided to blow it off... --Bill (leaving the room) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under conspuction.
In article <447rll$jje$2@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >ldale@nmsu.edu (Lilia Dale) wrote: >:Jim Wraith wrote: >:: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: >[alt.destroy.the.earth stuff sorrowfully snipped] >I had some caustic remark to make but decided to blow it off... >--Bill (leaving the room) >-- Does it mean that Bill has left the Bill-ding? *MM
In article <4457jq$3v5@linda.teleport.com>, typo <exit@teleport.com> wrote:
>In <4451hu$otv@linda.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com writes:
>
>>I woke up and my dog was gone. I thought he had been murdered so I went
>>downstairs and it was worse... He was humping my cat - doggie style!!!
>>And the cat's a boy!!!! AND THE CAT WAS PURRING!!!!!!!! My life sucks. :(
>
>>---Steve
>
>> !!!!WARNING!!!!
>> You are being video taped for your safety.
>
>
>
> ! ! ! W A R N I N G ! ! !
> You are being deported for your own safety.
! ! ! ! M O R N I N G ! ! ! !
How about some toast?
- spatch, really resisting temptation to crosspost to alt.tv.red-dwarf -
--
tv's Spatch, the guy who took the "oingo" out of "Oingo Boingo"
"Tequila and Slurpees, it's White Trash Margarita Night!" - Bacon Sandwiches
It's Useless -and- in the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
And the little pig was happy, even in his dreams.
----er uh, sorry. I thought I was posting to alt.dummy. cabbage: is stoopid as does stoopid.
What can be said about people who cannot spell one of the easiest halogenide names? They should have some more rat poison. Please remove all newsfroups from the Newsgroups line. Sincerely, *MM
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <443l1c$lt5@ixnews7.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach ) writes: >>In <43o5u0$h16@titan.np.ac.sg> twa@titan.np.ac.sg (Timmins William >>Anthony) writes: >>[snip] >>> ___ >>> / >>> /__/ . / /_ _/ >>>/__/_/_/_/ _/ >>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ > >>Does that say, "Bait"? > ___ > / > /__/ . / /_ _/ >No, it says "/__/_/_/_/ _/ ". *ROTFL* Score 10 for MM. >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - But dont score MM for 10. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <449fdl$h60@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >>In some bacon article ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) stated: >>><In article <43sm0t$5ms@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu> Suzanne Ē Schroeder >><suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> writes: >>><In article <43p876$6g4@giga.bga.com> MascoJones, aardvark@bga.com writes: >>><>Has anyone seen my cheese grater? >>><>If so, please let me know where and when you last saw it. Thanks. >>><Ha! As Dame of McDonald Land I sent my merry band of >>><plunderers over to your house and took it! I'm asking >>><for a ransom, but you have to figure out what it is.... >>>Yer both gonna get busted; that's *cheese* *paraphanalia* yer >>>discussing, and y'all know what *that* means. >>That's probable cause for any CEA-agent. > >>Good thing the Dame of MacDonald Land has bought off the CEA, >>but I wouldn't want to be in aardvark's shoes... > >>/^JN - The Anti JN - Almost free of his cheese dependency. >>-- >Here's SEK 2503, go to the mall and buy some more! I forked out 100 SEK for a 2k slice of cheese today and I spent the rest on a 850MB Seagate...Thanks MM! >*MM -- who is hooked on other people's dependencies. /^JN - The Anti JN - Who's dependent on other people's hookedness. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <44ag9m$d10@news.mtu.edu>, cagey@grfn.org wrote: > On 26 Sep 1995 06:44:39 GMT, Michael Roach <mikroa@ix.netcom.com> wrote: > > In <447lq7$5s8@gv-gate.gvg.tek.com> mikea@zorba.gvg.tek.com (Michael P. > > Anderson) writes: > > > > > > > > > > > > Gutwrenching filo gobs > > > make the meal mistress vomit. > > > I fly to Denver. > > > > This is not the proper form of a haiku. It's supposed to read the same > > forwards and backwards. > > NoNoNoNo.. A haiku is an inadvertant juxtoposition of words to make a unintended > yet comical result. It was invented by some professor (he's still alive!) > You're all wrong! A haiku is a five line ditty beginning with: "There once was a man from Nantucket" Reid Opening his mouth to remove all doubt. (Apologies to Mark Twain)
Okay. I keep filling up the damned bird feeder and the little ingrates keep chirping back. They're kinda cute, actually... Maybe if I keep it full, they'll forget to fly south... shit, some raven just cried^H^H^H^H^H quothed on my balcony shit Well, it's a nice night. I guess I'll sit outside, watch the sunset, wonder if it sets on alt.stupidity, and try to figure out the motive of those damn fluffy birds. --Bill (who sometimes wonders what the hell is going on) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under conspuction.
In articlé <ivan-2609950935180001@221.233.méd.umich.édu> ivan@advénturés.of (Réid Fléming) writés: >In articlé <444ubn$fv8@vassun.vassar.édu>, Flapjack ><nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.édu> wroté: >> nafzigér.5@osu.édu (Jason Nafzigér) wroté: >> >In articlé <moié.18.3064ÉD00@wavé.co.nz>, moié@wavé.co.nz (John Éspin) >> >wroté: >> >>until man déscovéréd thé Swandri. >> >>That is béating yoursélf about thé héad and néck to gét warm with a swan. >> > >> >I usually just také thém to dinnér and a movié... >> > >> >> A littlé tip whén doing this: Don't ordér paté. >> >> flapjack-who, if hé wéré réally cool, would havé found a way to accént thé é >> >Réid-who, though not réally cool, did find a way to accént thé é. >"Mastér of ASCII, Sir Knight of thé Obscuré"* >*Thésé titlés aré unofficial and for pérsonal usé only. Réstrictions may >apply. Of coursč, you lčarned this from Monty. *MM
In article <446n46$1cn9@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu>, Karl Robert Loeffler <kloeffle@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu> wrote: >Well, actually, within a year I probably will be living in Montreal, so >thank you for the kind message,"Ms. Demers," if that is your real name. Well, come '96, I'll probably be living in some Canadiaiaian city, too, if Pineapple-Head Man gets his way. >Isn't it true that if one person gains something useful from something, >then that thing is useful? >Jeez, Spatch, must you be so harsh on all non-stupidians who tread on our >sacred stomping ground? I still think she should have included the following phrases in her message: Bacon Bob Vila I AM WILLING TO HAVE SEX WITH ANY PERSON WHO FOLLOWS UP TO THIS (note: this does not mean that I, Spatch, will do this SO THERE) >O.K. I guess the message wasn't really that useful, especially since by >the time I get to Quebec I won't be on the net anymore. Uh oh. >Unless, that is, you guys out there want to keep me on. Take a small course at McGill and get an account that way. >Send contributions to the Mad Czech Internet Defense Fund. >All contributions are tax-deductible. >Contributors of $100.00 or more receive a pair of my previously worn >jockeys, or panties if you are Jason Nafziger. >Respond via e-mail for snail mail address. I don't take credit. You don't take credit for Jason's panties? What? > >Mad Czech-Well, maybe not. We're gonna miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 -- tv's Spatch, the guy who took the "oingo" out of "Oingo Boingo" "Tequila and Slurpees, it's White Trash Margarita Night!" - Bacon Sandwiches It's Useless -and- in the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula And the little pig was happy, even in his dreams.
Throw a water balloon at her!
Matthew A Hubartt (MAH3147@utarlg.uta.edu) wrote:
: Throw a water balloon at her!
Hold her down ant tickel her.
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
In article <44c8vc$4d8@ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>,
Michael Roach <mikroa@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>In <44burq$4q1@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> nafziger.5@osu.edu
>(Jason Nafziger) writes:
>>
>>In article <44bh0i$9a@borg.it.uswc.uswest.com>,
>> wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com (William Wilkinson) wrote:
>>>tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes:
>>>
>>>:Melissa Hoffmeyer (Melissa.C.Hoffmeyer@uwrf.edu) wrote:
>>>:: Now accepting letters to the editor!
>>>
>>>
>>>:R
>>> E
>> A
> R
W
I
N
D
O
W
--
tv's Spatch, the guy who took the "oingo" out of "Oingo Boingo"
"Tequila and Slurpees, it's White Trash Margarita Night!" - Bacon Sandwiches
It's Useless -and- in the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
And the little pig was happy, even in his dreams.
Okay! I know you've missed me. Y'see, I finally finished updating that homepage, and I promised I wouldn't post here again until I was finished. Well, it is! I don't know why I took so long. I was working fine, then I went to drink some fluoridated water and I had this sudden urge to pay my taxes early. flapjack-who http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html -- "Perhaps the idea of taking a piece of candy (from) a throat is a bit gross, but believe me, there is a lot worse in the candy realm."--anonymous FINALLY! IT'S BACK! AND BETTER THAN EVER!: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <44c1td$33g@ixnews7.ix.netcom.com>, Michael Roach <mikroa@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >In <44bjd4$sb8@duck.inetnebr.com> fnargle@inetnebr.com (yaz pistachio) >writes: >> >>Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >> >>>What's all this about, anyway? >> >>it's about a pound and a half. >> >>and thank you for asking. >> >>--beth (whose noozfeed sucks worse than it ever has) > >Do nosefeeds suck or blow? Both, actually. Just tilt your head back and apply pressure with a tissue and it should be over in a few minutes. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who took the "oingo" out of "Oingo Boingo" "Tequila and Slurpees, it's White Trash Margarita Night!" - Bacon Sandwiches It's Useless -and- in the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula And the little pig was happy, even in his dreams.
In some bacon article cagey@grfn.org stated:
>On 27 Sep 95 00:02:23 GMT, Ed Jackson <ejackson@iastate.edu> wrote:
> > In view of the fact that there seem to have been a number of people
> > who have been taking postings on this happy little froup very
> > seriously, I would like to encourage everybody to NOT take this
> > message even a little bit seriously, because that's NOT what this
> > froup is for.
>
>What the HELL are you trying to prove with that statement!!! I can take
^^^^
You missmelled "Crappy Homepage Location". Hope this burns.
>your damn post seriously anytime I want!
>cagey - spatchdammit, anyway
/^JN - The Anti JN - I'm sure he will.
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Ha! You call that poetry? Here's another one: _Billow_ Defeated. Lawn ornaments are defeated. Nothing can stop it. Don't try. It's useless. The billowing billows billow in the billowing billows. I sleep on my pillow. My pillow is punctured. Defeated lawn ornaments. They die soon.
If Bill Gates is the Devil, then Linus Trovalds must be the Messiah. ---Steve
In article <ATAYLOR.95Sep25113344@gauss.nmsu.edu> Nosy, ataylor@nmsu.edu writes: > Yer both gonna get busted; that's *cheese* *paraphanalia* yer > discussing, and y'all know what *that* means. Three slaps with a wet noodle? ______________ Suzanne Schroeder
In article <ATAYLOR.95Sep25210605@gauss.nmsu.edu>, Nosy <ataylor@nmsu.edu> wrote: > >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacos bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon >bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon This is cool, it's like "Where's Waldo" only it's "Where's Bacos?" -- tv's Spatch, the guy who took the "oingo" out of "Oingo Boingo" "Tequila and Slurpees, it's White Trash Margarita Night!" - Bacon Sandwiches It's Useless -and- in the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula And the little pig was happy, even in his dreams.
sdc@teleport.com wrote: : Reid Fleming (ivan@adventures.of) wrote: : : In article <meow-kitty@fksjlsfjklasaf>, spatula@gecko.concorde.com wrote: : : > In article <442clm$j3f@ixnews3.ix.netcom.com>, : : > Michael Roach <mikroa@ix.netcom.com> wrote: : : > >In <43vq58$6o7@linda.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com writes: : : > >> : : > >> : : > >>Or bacon : : > >>Not bacon : : > >>Plus bacon : : > >>Divided by bacon : : > >>Bacon squared : : > >>Minus bacon : : > >>Times bacon : : > >Turkey bacon : : > Green bacon : : Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious bacon : : Skeakable bacon Sock. : : Reid : : Mmmmmm....nitrates. : Bacon Monoxide. Now that's almost funny. How about Di-Bacon Monoxide. Bwahahahahahahahah. Ross--who just can't get over it.
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: : >Flapjack (nosmith@vaxsar.vassar.edu) wrote: : >: moie@wave.co.nz (John Espin) wrote: : >: >[ztuff] : > : >Look, I don't recognize everything and I can't read it all, which is why : >I always try to deputize people. Want the job, you can sock people, like : >this--check it out: : > : >Sock. : > : >Man, that's good. : Pretty neat trick. Thanks, wanna learn how? I can host a new seminar. But too bad Jefzilla won't be there, now we'll have to get sterno for the bufet. : >: flapjack-who is glad someone else's buttocks are getting attention : >Ross--for whom Flapjack's butt will always be first and foremost. : ^^^^^^^^ : Shouldn't that be "hindmost"? I suppose it should. : /^JN - The Anti JN - Or should that be "behind most"? Ross--who would settle for being the most behind Flapjack's butt.
In article <44fd79$84j@giga.bga.com> aardvark@bga.com (aardvark) writes: > The other day was sleeping, having a really great dream about Carrie Ng > in her 'Fitty Milk'(tm) television commercial, when a strange sound from > the kitchen woke me up. It sounded like muffled somehow. I stumbled > into the kitchen, and then I realized that the sound was coming from > within the refrigerator. I open the refriderator door and I was shocked > to find all my various condiment engaged in wild free-for-all orgy. The > mayonaise was "getting into" the relish, the ketchup had penetrated the > mustard, and the horseradish was literally doing it horsey-style with the > sauerkraut AND the soy sauce. What a mess! I just don't know what I > should do now. Now when I have a turkey sandwich I can't just put mayo > and mustard on it, I have to put mayo, relish, ketchup, and mustard on > it. My sandwiches will never taste the same again. And as if that > wasn't bad enough, now when I want a bowl of rice, I can't just put soy > sauce on it, I have to put soy sauce and horseradish and sauerkraut on > it! My life sucks! > > Condiments, condoms. . .they're spelled similarly for a reason. flapjack-who saw Jocelyn Elders talk the other day, so he knows what he's posting about -- "Perhaps the idea of taking a piece of candy (from) a throat is a bit gross, but believe me, there is a lot worse in the candy realm."--anonymous FINALLY! IT'S BACK! AND BETTER THAN EVER!: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In some bacon article nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) stated: >In article <no-kitty@fsjsajlkfasfjklfsjk> >spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) writes: > >> In article <44h7vn$28r@kelly.teleport.com>, <sdc@teleport.com> wrote: >> > >> >> >> >> -- >> tv's Spatch, the guy who took the "oingo" out of "Oingo Boingo" >> "Tequila and Slurpees, it's White Trash Margarita Night!" - Bacon Sandwiches >> It's Useless -and- in the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula >> And the little pig was happy, even in his dreams. > > > > > > >flapjack-who > >-- >"Perhaps the idea of taking a piece of candy (from) a >throat is a bit gross, but believe me, there is a lot >worse in the candy realm."--anonymous >FINALLY! IT'S BACK! AND BETTER THAN EVER!: >http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html /^JN - The Anti JN - -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >In article <43kse5$1t4a@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu>, >Karl Robert Loeffler <kloeffle@tuba.aix.calpoly.edu> wrote: >>Hey Spatch, >>I've waited two weeks and you still haven't sent me a title. I got an >>idea for one though: >> The Intermittently Posting Princelet of the Czechs, Insane or >>Otherwise. >>If this meets your approval, or if you have any addenda or correcta, >>please post forthwith and posthaste. >>Thank you, O Lord Most High Spatula. > >Oh my! I've neglected my title-doling duties, have I? Well, then, to >make up for it, > >EVERYONE WHO WANTS A TITLE CAN HAVE A TITLE! JUST GIVE IT TO YOURSELF! >I HAVE SAID IT'S OK! Oki, but I want the title to that album by that band, whose name I cant remember, you know the album with the song that goes: "Na nana na, hmmm hmmm hm Love". Oh, BTW, I cant remember the title of the song either. I hope someone can give me that title, becasue I cant give it to myself since I dont know it. >there. Yes! That's the title to the song! Now I only need the title for the album. >except *points* you. No, that's not it. /^JN - The Anti JN - Searching for that title. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
The Thunder God woke me up by hurling down lightning bolts all around. Since I couldn't sleep, I decided to get up and post#@%@^@^@#% NO CARRIER -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under conspuction. (A word I'd seen in someone's sig a few weeks ago.)
papa legba at boi.hp.com sed: :-papa, who makes the rules Your Englis rule works, and so does your metric. But can you make me one that measures furlongs per fortnight? --Bill (who wonders who rules) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under conspuction. (A word I'd seen in someone's sig a few weeks ago.)
In some bacon article nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) stated:
>In article <446gk2$l5t@panix3.panix.com>
>tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes:
>> . (1000.0@compuserv.com) wrote:
>> : Anyone interested in setting up a new Newsgroup
>>
>> : alt.farm.animals
>>
>> : or even
>>
>> : alt.farmyard.animals
>>
>> : ?????
>>
>> What about alt.farm.animals.prostitution
>>
>
>I'm sorry, isn't alt.fan.bill-gates enough?
>
>flapjack-who uses a Mac and is hence immune
^^^^^^
You misstrolled "a hopeless user". Hope those helps.
/^JN - The Anti JN - Who has nothing but contempt for both PC's and Mac's.
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated:
>papa legba at boi.hp.com sed:
>
>:-papa, who makes the rules
>
>Your Englis rule works, and so does your metric. But can you
>make me one that measures furlongs per fortnight?
Sure:
---------------------------------------------------------
| ' | ' | ' | ' | ' | ' | ' |
(Furlongs/Fortnight)
>--Bill (who wonders who rules)
Beats me.
/^JN - The Anti JN - Who just wonders. But mostly he doesn't.
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
(Leaning up to screen) What are you doing in there? You look so lonely. _______________ Suzanne Schroeder
In article <44c611$qor@daffy.anetsrvcs.uwrf.edu>, Melissa.C.Hoffmeyer@uwrf.edu (Melissa Hoffmeyer) wrote: >A pig fell in the mud. > Please take this perverted garbage elsewhere. --- - --- - --- - Jason (in parantheses where available) CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE!!! http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html Now with ANNOYING the BACKGROUND!!!! "Idiocy is our only option" - Dustin Hoffman, "Outbreak"
In article <44k5v6$m89@utaipx02.uta.edu>, BRIGGS <wsb3701@omega> wrote: >It's the story >Of an ugly lady >Who was bringing up three butt-ugly girls >All of them had greasy, filthy, disgusting hair >Like their mother >Where you could find dead squirrels Yay! It's "The Grody Bunch", my favourite mid-80's television special, next to 'Charles In Charge'! -- tv's Spatch, the guy who took the "oingo" out of "Oingo Boingo" "Tequila and Slurpees, it's White Trash Margarita Night!" - Bacon Sandwiches It's Useless -and- in the top 5%. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula And the little pig was happy, even in his dreams.
In article <ATAYLOR.95Oct1150325@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: > "I've got a brand new pair of roller skates, > You've got a brand new key!" > > PLEASE HELP ME MAKE THIS STOP! try, um: i can see clearly now the rain is gone i can see all obstacles in my way gone are the dark clouds that had me blind gonna be a bright bright bright bright sunshiny day i think i can make it now the pain is gone all of the bad feelings have disappeared here is that rainbow i've been praying for gonna be a bright bright bright bright sunshiny day look all around, there's nothing but blue sky look straight ahead nothing but blue sky ... or, uh, i'm on the top of the world looking down on creation and the only explanation i can find is the love that i've found ever since you've been around your love's put me at the top of the world such a feeling's coming over me there is wonder in most everything i see in the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze there's a pleasing sense of happiness for me i'm on the top of the world looking down on creation and the only explanation i can find is the love that i've found ever since you've been around your love's put me at the top of the world something in the wind has learned my name and it's telling me that things are not the same not a cloud in the sky got the sun in my eye and i won't be surprised if it's a dream i'm on the top of the world looking down on creation and the only explanation i can find is the love that i've found ever since you've been around your love's put me at the top of the world -gw "OH GOD HELP ME MAKE IT STOP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
In some bacon article spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >In article <44k1p0$8bs@ixnews7.ix.netcom.com>, >Ken Zagzebski <zagz@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >> >>IMHO these abbrevitons are a hold over from the days of 300 baud modems >>and slow computers. It made sense back then to keep email messages as >>short as possible. I suspect also a lothing for typing (or keyboard >>non-proficiency) plagued many internet(unix?) pioneers. > >Feh. If yer a Unix -anything- and you can't type decently, you'd be far >better off just turning the computer off, selling it for parts, and going >home. Or just donating it tosomeone worthy, like me. >- spatch, was that a | or a > I should have typed back there?!?!! oh no! > there goes my kernel! - /^JN - The Anti JN - "ci /etc/passwd"... -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
On 2 Oct 1995 12:30:14 GMT, Reid Fleming <ivan@adventures.of> wrote: > Is Braille ascii art as good as in the original medium? Or does it loose > some of it's subtle nuances? That reminds me. The parking lots here all have ID card readers that allow access to the lot. No ID, no parking your car. There are Braille instructions on the reader. cagey -- who hopes they were never used
In article <44qkgp$c67@manuel.anu.edu.au> Stuart MacPherson <m3026921@student.anu.edu.au> writes: >Is there an FAQ for alt.stupidity? If so, why? >-- Read the answer in alt.stupidity FAQ. *MM
sdc@teleport.com wrote: :From TheWeb : :---Steve : : !!!!WARNING!!!! : You are being video taped for your safety. : : : :From MIT Tech Talk 6/21/95 : :Novel flapjacks greet seniors [***SNIP***] Not only is it sick for Novell to clone Flapjacks to greet sailors, I think it's also illegal for them to create clones in this froup! I came up with the idea first! (Well, okay, I borrowed it from FST--but they haven't sued me!) --Bill (a cranky old man) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under conspuction. (A word I'd seen in someone's .sig a few weeks ago.)
>From TheWeb
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
>From MIT Tech Talk 6/21/95
Novel flapjacks greet seniors
By Alice C.
Waugh
News Office
Seniors and other guests attending the Class of '95 flapjack breakfast
last week really flipped over their flapjacks.
The event marked the public debut of a prototype for an automatic flapjack
cooker and flipper invented by Ernesto Blanco, adjunct professor of
mechanical engineering, and his design partner, Albert Sesona. In addition
to being somewhat plumper than the other flapjacks cooked on a grill in
the usual way, the flapjacks also had an unusual feature-the words "Good
Morning" in attractive script baked into the surface.
The Flip-It device used at the flapjack breakfast is a smaller manual
version of an automatic machine that the inventors hope to market to
restaurant chains. It consists of a shallow metal dish into which the cook
pours batter. When one side is done, he or she maneuvers another attached
dish over the first and inverts the pair, flipping the flapjack. The first
dish has mirror-image aluminum script in relief to toast in the words.
Because of the differing heat distribution, the letters are a darker shade
of brown than the surrounding flapjack, as well as indented into its
surface. Future owners of the machine could purchase several dishes with
different words or patterns for customizing their flapjacks. "It's very
cheap to do," Professor Blanco said.
This manual device would be suitable for homes, but Messrs. Blanco and
Sesona have also applied for a patent on a commercial model that would
dispense the batter from a self-contained tank, cook three flapjacks at
once and flip them automatically when triggered by a timer. Everything
would be controlled and pre-programmed through a digital touchpad similar
to that found on microwave ovens, the inventors explained.
Research and development for the Flip-It has been somewhat lengthy-
Messrs. Blanco and Sesona have been working on their idea off and on since
1960. "We don't believe in rushing into anything," Mr. Sesona joked. More
recently, students at the Sloan School of Management studied the idea and
recommended that the inventors pursue both the manual device for home use
and the larger automatic version for commercial applications.
Professor Blanco hopes that a chain like International House of Pancakes
or McDonald's will be attracted to the Flip-It because it can go anywhere
and doesn't take up grill space, and because it can also be used for
omelets. The device could also be coin-operated, which would be useful for
cafeterias and other self-service venues-or even Lobdell Food Court in the
Student Center. "It's a pretty neat thing," said Rob McBurney of Aramark,
general manager of MIT food services, who was on hand for the
demonstration.
And how did the seniors rate the Flip-It flapjacks? "They realized they
were a bit thicker and tastier. The comments were very positive,"
Professor Blanco said.
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <no-kitty@kfsjklafsjklfsa> spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) writes: >>In article <44jsk2$p3e@nyx.cs.du.edu>, >>seth appell <sappell@nyx.cs.du.edu> wrote: >>>Blue blood is at a premium these days. >>Yeah, that's how they make blue M&Ms. >That's right. > >&MM -- losing my indirection. Here, have some deferencing: MM[0] == *MM /^JN - The Anti JN - Who loves a good C... -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <DG8HHq.Iuq@da_vinci.ecte.uswc.uswest.com> wxwilki@lookout (Bill Wilkinson) writes: > Followup. Followup. Followup. Followup. > Followup. Followup. Followup. Followup. > Followup. Followup. Followup. Followup. > Followup! > Followup. Followup. > > Sounds funny after saying it often enough. Like maybe the Lone Ranger > should be galloping away, or something. > > --Bill He would if he knew what was good for him. flapjack-who has never known what was good for him -- "Perhaps the idea of taking a piece of candy (from) a throat is a bit gross, but believe me, there is a lot worse in the candy realm."--anonymous FINALLY! IT'S BACK! AND BETTER THAN EVER!: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
...and would like to return. Lower back problems. Thanks, dad. Male pattern baldness. The tendency to sweat profusely from the head while eating spicy food. Sarcasm and cynicism. (OK, those two aren't so bad). Oily skin. My sister. Crooked teeth. Ingrown hair. Big, stinky feet. That ugly picture I have to drag out of the closet when they visit. That's about it. -papa
In article <45had5$ol9@taco.cc.ncsu.edu> jkbaucom@eos.ncsu.edu (James Kirk Baucom) writes:
>Have you people been watching Dr. Strangelove?
>--
> .
> . .
> |
> ---|---
> |
> |
> |
>"On a mission from God"
> -Elwood
Yes.
|\
| \/
| /\ .. .
*MM
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : an83981@anon.penet.fi wrote: : : > "The truth is better than ten goats" : : i happen to know for a fact that the truth is worth only three and a half : : goats. My motto has always been that three and a half goats is better than the truth... : : dieter. : Has the truth been devalued again? Man, that really gets my goat. Hey... I saw that... Now I'll have to use my umlauts on you... ÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜ(and some S-sets, too)ßßßßßßßßßßßßß : Ross--who's having flashbacks. Princess WhiteGoat - who's seeing Flash Gordons...
Gwyneth Kozbial (fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de) wrote: : Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : : an83981@anon.penet.fi wrote: : : : > "The truth is better than ten goats" : : : i happen to know for a fact that the truth is worth only three and a half : : : goats. : My motto has always been that three and a half goats is better than the truth... : : : dieter. : : Has the truth been devalued again? Man, that really gets my goat. : Hey... I saw that... Now I'll have to use my umlauts on you... : ÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜ(and some S-sets, too)ßßßßßßßßßßßßß : : Ross--who's having flashbacks. : Princess WhiteGoat - who's seeing Flash Gordons... Hey, she's back guys. Break out the champagne. Eat some cheese and crackers. Get those guotas out of here! Ross--who's having hot flashes.
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : Gwyneth Kozbial (fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de) wrote: : : Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : : : an83981@anon.penet.fi wrote: : : : Has the truth been devalued again? Man, that really gets my goat. : : Hey... I saw that... Now I'll have to use my umlauts on you... : : ÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜ(and some S-sets, too)ßßßßßßßßßßßßß : : : Ross--who's having flashbacks. : : Princess WhiteGoat - who's seeing Flash Gordons... : Hey, she's back guys. : Break out the champagne. Eat some cheese and crackers. Get those guotas : out of here! Yeah! We can have a party like last year... uh... whenever that was... at ... uh... wherever that was... y'know... the place with the bird fountain... : Ross--who's having hot flashes. Princess WhiteGoat - who's flashing... uh, nevermind...
In some bacon article fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial) stated: >Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: >: an83981@anon.penet.fi wrote: >: : > "The truth is better than ten goats" > >: : i happen to know for a fact that the truth is worth only three and a half >: : goats. > >My motto has always been that three and a half goats is >better than the truth... >: : dieter. > >: Has the truth been devalued again? Man, that really gets my goat. > >Hey... I saw that... Now I'll have to use my umlauts on you... >ÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜ(and some S-sets, too)ßßßßßßßßßßßßß Hey! Watch what you're doing with those 8-bit ascii characters... BTW, if you really want effect, try 'å'. ÅååååÅÅÅÅÅÅÅåååå. Coolness. >: Ross--who's having flashbacks. > >Princess WhiteGoat - who's seeing Flash Gordons... Isn't that perverted and illegal? /^JN - The Anti JN - Recuperating from last night... -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Speaking of Kinder Eggs... Now everybody's flav-o-rite Goat is back on-line in Nazi^h^h^h^hDeutschland, where she's been busy collecting fun li'l toys from afore mentioned Choco-ovules... (I guess it has something to do with my adoration of the word "poultry" <although "poultry" isn't quite as cool as "Petula" or "porn"...>)... Although I've had to wait for over a month to get this net connection (ah, those industrious Germans), it is well worth it, b/c now I am among those cool people who have umlauts on the keyboard... Now I will taunt you all before continuing with my regularly scheduled pogrom, er, program... üöäüöäÜÖÄÜÖÄüöäüöäÜÖÄÜÖÄüöäüöäÜÖÄÜÖÄüöäüöäÜÖÄÜÖÄüöäüöäÜÖÄÜÖÄüöäüöäÜÖÄÜÖÄüöäÜÖÄ ßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßßß Until later, my suckbarlos Doofen... Princess WhiteGoat : These big blank spaces are the only downside to these threads.
In article <45h7q4$lck@freenet.vcu.edu>, cabbage wrote: > So I bought these Corn Pads from Dr. Scholls....no matter > how much I water them, still nothing. Make sure you plant them at least a foot down. Reid "Well no, I guess it wasn't so damned funny after all." -Bob Newhart, Driving Instructer
In article <45aq90$1fm@duck.inetnebr.com> fnargle@falcon.inetnebr.com (yaz pistachio) writes: >didn't your mom also write "don't run with scissors!" and "get away from >that television screen, it's bad for your eyes!" > >classics! > Oh yes, the nostalgia!, "Careful with that axe Magnus"... "Remember my son, objects in the mirror may be closer than they seem"... and her last but not least, "Put the great great great great great great great great great great grandfather's longsword away"... *MM
<brain empty> ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
I was eaten by the wumpus. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
In article <45kih9$p7d@portal.gmu.edu>, Andrew P Carter <acarter1@mason2.gmu.edu> wrote: >john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: >: I was eaten by the wumpus. > > Alas, thou didst not fire thy arrow in the right direction. Forsooth, thou art a Soothsayer. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
sdc@teleport.com wrote: : papa legba (papa@boi.hp.com) wrote: : : Joseph Artinger u (arti6350@mach1.wlu.ca) wrote: : : : Ever wonder why nickels are larger than dimes and still worth less? : : Ummmmm....nope. Even altstupidians are not so easily : : perplexed. Next coin question please. : Ever wonder why pennys get stuck up your nose but cats don't bark when : they land upside down in the air if you step on them? (The pennys) : ---Steve Bill, will you please ask Steve to phrase that in the form of a question? -papa
In article <45ikqb$r48@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, wright <wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu> wrote: > >I tried to make haiku involving flapjack, his fridge, his butt, or that >of a Gaudalajaran guitar player. Butt I failed. It may need >a feature film to do it justice. Flapjack said he'd feed Guadalajaran guitar Players' butts - No fridge. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who was joining the world of missing persons, and he was "BTW, you left out Marcia Strassman's running joke in the show, which was to say 'What did your uncle do next, Gabe?'" - yaz pistachio Running away goofily like the Monkees: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Mircalla (kst2guu@herts.ac.uk) wrote: : Spatch is a girl??! : No, I don't believe you. : mircalla. - has been away too long. Spatch is male. Spatch is female. Spatch is young. Spatch is old. Spatch is blue collar Spatch is white collar Spatch is minority Spatch is angry white Republican. Spatch prefers bacon Spatch prefers corn Spatch likes the Mets Spatch likes the Yankees Spatch likes the Red Sox. Spatch is Flapjack. Flapjack is not Spatch. Spatch is one, Spatch is all, and he sometimes gives us nickels. Ross--who'll be at the airport.
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial) stated: : >Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : >: an83981@anon.penet.fi wrote: : > : >: Has the truth been devalued again? Man, that really gets my goat. : > : >Hey... I saw that... Now I'll have to use my umlauts on you... : >ÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜöäüÖÄÜ(and some S-sets, too)ßßßßßßßßßßßßß : Hey! Watch what you're doing with those 8-bit ascii characters... : BTW, if you really want effect, try 'å'. : ÅååååÅÅÅÅÅÅÅåååå. Coolness. What? : >: Ross--who's having flashbacks. : > : >Princess WhiteGoat - who's seeing Flash Gordons... : Isn't that perverted and illegal? Bill, what am I supposed to say here? : /^JN - The Anti JN - Recuperating from last night... : -- Ross--who's still recuperating from 1988
Ross replied to Anti JN (among other stupids): :: Isn't that perverted and illegal? :Bill, what am I supposed to say here? ummm...letme think...no, wait...can't think...ummm...okay... "The Great Prince issues commands, grants fiefs, inferior people should not be employed!" --Bill (put that in yer pipe and smoke it!) -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial) stated: : >Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : >: an83981@anon.penet.fi wrote: : >: Ross--who's having flashbacks. : > : >Princess WhiteGoat - who's seeing Flash Gordons... : Isn't that perverted and illegal? Wait! I know, it's pedantic! yeah. : /^JN - The Anti JN - Recuperating from last night... Ross--who's finally over Mondale.
limrag@bu.edu (Ross wrote:) :Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: :: In some bacon article fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth ::Kozbial) stated: :: >Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: :: >: an83981@anon.penet.fi wrote: :: >: Ross--who's having flashbacks. :: > :: >Princess WhiteGoat - who's seeing Flash Gordons... :: Isn't that perverted and illegal? : Now hold it right there! (George LeRoy Tirebiter--I think) :Wait! I know, it's pedantic! yeah. : :: /^JN - The Anti JN - Recuperating from last night... --Bill (who is preparing to recuperate) : :Ross--who's finally over Mondale. : who? -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
In article <45gr08$msa@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>, nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) wrote: > In article <vtkk.v1wki.1664.006C62C7@elvi.vtkk.fi>, > vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: > >In article <4597t2$mke@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> nafziger.5@osu.edu > (Jason Nafziger) writes: > > > >>In article <45826f$ro4$2@mhafm.production.compuserve.com>, > >> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: > >>>:In article <44ue4b$f05@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> > >>>:nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: > >>> > >>>[snip] > >>> > >>>How did you manage to work your name into Jason's address thingy? > > > >>Yes, it's true. OSU named their machine after the one and (hopefully) > only > >>Magnus Milktruck (or whatever) because, as I understand it, he and Gordon > >>Gee are lovers. > > > >I am indeed unique, thank you, but I've never even met Richard Gere. > > I checked my source, and it turns out there was indeed an error. Richard > Gere and Gordon Gee are lovers. Magnus Milkface is the Unibomber. Unabomber. UN A BOMBER. With an A! spell it correct or i bomb you next. [bomb folks for years and years and does anyone take the time to learn your name ask how the hell your day was for once? "Hey buddy looks like you've got some pent up anger, wanna talk about?" NoooOOoooo. of course not. f#@*ing michigan right wing amauteurs, one bomb and they get all the news, interviews in newsweek, appearances on RICKI LAKE! ahhhh ya plebs wouldn't understand. oh, btw - Post this meseage or else i'll bomb some more. got it?]
kurtg@despardo.enigma.com (cagy) wrote:
:On 14 Oct 1995 05:30:48 GMT, Russ, not Ross, Reynolds
"<russ@acs.bu.edu> wrote:
: > No, Russ.
: >
: > -Russ, see.
:Oh. Russ.
:Not Ross. Russ.
:I see.
^
|____________________________________________________
:cagey -- not Ross or Russ. Cagey |
|
I don't know what's goin' on here. |
|
Keylime--are you listening? What kind of smiley is that?
--Bill
--
This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in
Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock.
POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi."
"Huh? (tm)"
Spatch, that's the damndest thing I've read in a long time. Was Mr. Play-A-Day involved? --Bill (just curious) -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
vtkk.v1wki.elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulkvist) wrote:
:In article <45had5$ol9@taco.cc.ncsu.edu> jkbaucom@eos.ncsu.edu
:(Capt. James T. Kirk Bacon) writes:
:>Have you people been watching Dr. Strangelove?
:> .
:> . .
:> |
:> ---|---
:> |
:> |
:> |
:>"On a mission from God"
:> -Elwood
:Yes.
: |\
: | \/
: e | /\ .. .
Your axe n\eds sharpening...
|
| \|/ /
-POP-
| / /|\ \ . .
.
--Bill
--
This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in
Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock.
POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi."
"Huh? (tm)"
In article <45ikqb$r48@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright) writes: >In article <no-kitty@jkkjlkjjkljklj> >spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >> >flapjack-who has enough Mexican food in his refirgerator to feed every >> >guitar player in Guadalajara >See if you can make a limerick out of that will you? >I tried to make haiku involving flapjack, his fridge, his butt, or that >of a Gaudalajaran guitar player. Butt I failed. It may need >a feature film to do it justice. Refrigerated Flapjack's butt plays guitar in Guadalajara. *MM
We shall ---er ...uh forget it...the poor quality of refrigeration trucks would kill most of us anyway...
ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) writes:
:In article <ivan-1010950849450001@host-179.subnet-233.med.umich.edu>,
:ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) wrote:
:> In article <4520bc$927$1@mhadg.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson
:> <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote:
:>
:> <snip saga of gnu chair>
:> >
:> > :> Well, gotta roll up my shorts.
:> > :That's nice. I got a biscuit up my shorts once. Hurt like hell.
:> > Yeah, I hate it when that happens.
:>
:> >
:> > --Bill (refusing to let this thread die the death it deserves)
:> Yeah, you was robbed. Kinda an abrupt (was:gnu chair) transition.
:>
:> Long live the gnu chair thread!
:>
:> Reid
:> I still think this makes you the gnu chairman.
:Reid
:Stilllll going. Ahhhh, the pointlessness of it all.
^ ^
There's two of 'em right there. <--- Hey! A third one!
--Bill (they're fast)
--
wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause.
Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at:
http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
In some bacon article u2169494@vmsuser.acsu.unsw.edu.au stated: > There is a problem with society in general. Can you be less specific? /^JN - The Anti JN - Youse was asking fer it! -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach ) stated: >In <45orin$7tm@kelly.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com writes: >> >>Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: >>: In article <45mffg$1pa$1@mhafn.production.compuserve.com>, >>: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >>: >papa@boi.hp.com (papa legba) wrote: >>: > >>: >: In article <45dpe6$knd@freenet.vcu.edu>, pford@cabell.vcu.edu >>: >:(cabbage) writes: >>: >: > >>: >: >Anyone wanna split this corndog I found on the sidewalk? >>: >: >>: >: >>: >: >>: >: No, but I'd like to name it "Phil." >>: > >>: >No, it's "Keith." >>: > >>: >--Bill >>: > >> >>: Bruce? >> >>No, it's "Virgil." >> >No, it's "Russ." Who? /^JN - The Anti JN - Who hasn't been paying attention. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article jmwilson@access5.digex.net (John Wilson) stated: >sdc@teleport.com wrote: >: : >> >>>>>Babies! >: : >> >>>>Newbies! >: : >> >>>Maybes! >: : >> >>Scabies! >: : >> >Rabies! >: : >> Hippies! >: : >Wallabies >: : Wanna bes >: Killer bees >I got fleas! I'm swinging through the trees! /^JN - The Anti JN - Board (2 by 4) -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <813705677.5812@kildare.demon.co.uk> jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim Wraith) writes: > M > O >-|- > M >:=-=:|:=-=:|Jim Wraith|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:= -|- M *MM
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <813705677.5812@kildare.demon.co.uk> jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim Wraith) writes: > >> M >> O >>-|- >> M >>:=-=:|:=-=:|Jim Wraith|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:=-=:|:= > >-|- > M > >*MM > . -- | MM O . /^JN - The Anti JN - Sectioning is fun. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com (William Wilkinson) stated: >ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) writes: >:Reid >:Stilllll going. Ahhhh, the pointlessness of it all. > ^ ^ >There's two of 'em right there. <--- Hey! A third one! > >--Bill (they're fast) Yeah, points reproduce almost like rabbits. .. ...... ................. ......................................... /^JN - The Anti JN - Pointfull................................................ -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <45khkn$jsu@linda.teleport.com>, <sdc@teleport.com> wrote: >I'm sitting here looking at the warning label on a 64oz bottle of >Drano Professional Plus Thick Liquid Clog Remover. It says "Do not use or >mix with other drain cleaners. Mixture may release hazardous gasses or >cause violent eruption from drain." > >Well I don't know about you wussies but I'm going to try it! This is >going to be cool!$&^&())^$$$$$$####@#$24!!--++)0-+ >NO CARRIER While we wait for sdc to regain consciousness, I might as well tell you what it says on the back of the 3-D glasses that came in my box of Count Chocula today: "WARNING: Do not look at sun with 3-D glasses." But I guess staring at the sun without the glasses is A-OK. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who was joining the world of missing persons, and he was "BTW, you left out Marcia Strassman's running joke in the show, which was to say 'What did your uncle do next, Gabe?'" - yaz pistachio Running away goofily like the Monkees: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <45m192$o4d@ccshst05.cs.uoguelph.ca>, Jonathan R Bezeau <jbezeau@uoguelph.ca> wrote: >Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: >: In article <45kr72$9rj@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, >: wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright) wrote: >: >In article <Pine.SUN.3.91.951013000310.4121A-100000@altair.herts.ac.uk> >: >Mircalla <kst2guu@herts.ac.uk> writes: >: > >: >> Spatch is a girl??! >: >> No, I don't believe you. >: > >: >"He" vehemently denied it when I posted a haiku about Spatch's titties >: >some time ago. FYI. -gw > >: As sure as she^H^H^Hhe's got a gun a pointed at my head, Spatch is indeed >: all man... > >Spatch exists? Of course I don't. What I do know, however, is there's a program named after me now. Well, I'd like to think it was named after me. Newsgroups: comp.sys.sun.announce Subject: SPATCH Alphanumeric Paging Software,
The Hyde Company has announced the release of SPATCH E-Mail Forwarding for
SUN/OS and Solaris.
SPATCH E-Mail Forwarding allows E-Mail to be forwarded directly to an
alphanumeric pager. Message length and several filters can be set to control
the output to the pager.
In conjunction with the release of SPATCH E-Mail Forwarding, The Hyde Company
has also announced the release of the SPATCH Internet Solution for the SUN
platforms.
The Internet Solution is designed specifically for Internet Service
Providers. It includes SPATCH, SPATCH E-Mail Forwarding, SPATCH Security,
and SPATCH Call Count Reporting.
Other SPATCH applications include:
Event Monitoring
The ability to report Events to an alphanumeric pager. Events include
errors, thresholds, process completion, alarms, etc. Events are reported by
issuing a command line instruction. Used by End Users to effectively
monitor in house systems. Used by VARs, System Integrators, and Service
Companies to monitor customer systems.
Scheduled Paging
Messages can be scheduled days, weeks, months, and even years into the
future. Excellent for appointment and maintenance reminders.
Interactive User Interface
On multi-user systems, users can send messages from their dumb terminals.
Formatted screens prompt the user for the entry of a name or PIN number and
the message. As well, the User Interface is used for SPATCH installation and
maintenance (text editor not required).
Other Features:
Group Paging
Baud Rate Flexibility
International Telephone Numbers
Page Sort
Breaking of Long Messages into multiple pages
Many Users, One Modem
For more information on SPATCH products for SUN platforms, please contact
Alan Lewis at spatch@cy.com.
The Hyde Company, Inc.
P.O. Box 900190
Atlanta, GA 30329
Voice:(770)495-0718
spatch@cy.com
-------
("spatch@cy.com"? but he's not one of MY clones!)
--
tv's Spatch, the guy who was joining the world of missing persons, and he was
"BTW, you left out Marcia Strassman's running joke in the show, which
was to say 'What did your uncle do next, Gabe?'" - yaz pistachio
Running away goofily like the Monkees: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <45u2ua$tl@meaddata.meaddata.com>, Scott Taylor <scottt@meaddata.com> wrote: >Please post only flood of 93 post here. Thanks. > >--- >-------------------------------------------------------- >Scott A. Taylor |\___/| > taylorso@ucunix.san.uc.edu |/ \| Saturday cat > at Lexis-Nexis: / o o \ > scottt@lexis-nexis.com (\= ^ =/) His opinions are > x2931 B6F1-CP > `~\' <\ irrelevant to my Employer. > Home Location: Cincinnati Ohio | \ \\ > USA. | | | \ )) > | | / \// > _//|| _\ / > (_/(_|(_____/ It's OK, Magnus, you can put your sword down, this .sig's self-decapitating. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who was joining the world of missing persons, and he was "BTW, you left out Marcia Strassman's running joke in the show, which was to say 'What did your uncle do next, Gabe?'" - yaz pistachio Running away goofily like the Monkees: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: :- spatch, who used to program with tsr-basic - It sounds familiar but escapes me. Maybe something that Pickles & Trout would do. Or something. No, waitaminute. I think they were hardware. I once tried to write a TSR in BASIC, but it crashed. -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
William Wilkinson (wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com) wrote:
: sdc@teleport.com writes:
: :Lurch (mcconnell@passport.ca) wrote:
: :: Does anyone here like me? If so, why?
: :: "640k ought to be enough for anybody."
: :: -Bill Gates, 1981
: :I like you because you ridicule Bill. He also said something like
: That hurts.
: :"Who wants a silly graphical operating system anywayz?"
: I said no such thing!
: Huh?
I was talking about the other Bill.
: Oh...
Glad I was able to clear that up.
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
aardvark (aardvark@bga.com) wrote: : In article <45udrj$ghp@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com>, mikroa@ix.netcom.com : says... : : >>> I've seen Duct Tape sold in the shops as Duck Tape i.e. printed on a : >>proper label. : >>> I think someone's having a laugh. : : >> Actually, that's a separate product: : >> specially designed to still be sticky enough : >> to hold them down even with all the oil on their : >> feathers. : : >> I know I have trouble taping ducks with just regular : >> scotch tape (though on the other hand it is transparent!) : : >Next time try sticking them with nine inch nails, that'll hold 'em : >down! : After that, pour flouridated water on 'em. Those ducks won't move an : inch. Then chop them up and stomp on 'em and pour gas on 'em and light it and stick a fire cracker up their butts and shoot 'em and kick 'em. huh huh.
You've always insisted upon it, and now I'll freely confess: You DO have a bigger [ ] than I do. So is Russ (yes, Russ) really one of the original flounders of our froup? Or are you perpetrating an extremely stupid^H^H^H^H^H^Hcomplex hoax?. Since this is off-topic for our froup, please email me your answer. Also, please explain those comments about toasters and bunnys that you made to Henry Churchyard a couple of months back. Email me. --Bill (not wanting to waste bandwidth in this froup) -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
In article <45un54$rue@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: |> Russ, not Ross, Reynolds (russ@acs.bu.edu) wrote: |> |> : No, Russ. |> |> : -Russ, see. |> |> Oh no no, it's most definitely Ross. And if you need proof, well you |> asked for it |> |> SOCK |> Ow! Damn! You're right... It's Ross, sir. -Ross |> Ross--who won't buy anymore socks from Australia, and doesn't understand |> what this means either. Try the German ones. Kinda scratchy but they'll get you through a cold war...
tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: : In article <45un7t$rue@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: : >sdc@teleport.com wrote: : >: Well maybe pirates do say "Har." But frogs say "ribit ribit". Unless : >: you mean Frog as opposed to frog in which case I'm confused. : > : >: ---Steve : > : >Actually I mean Big Frog, and you don't have to be confused. : "NORMAN, and I'm confused." Ok, now I'm confused. : > : >Big Frogs say "har" when pirates are being discussed. They never say "ribit : >ribit," well, not without a few glasses of Jack in them. : Big Frogs don't say "ribit ribit" with JD! : They say "Doodlydoodly DEE DEE" with JD! Well, I don't remember what I was saying, I was saying doodlydoodly dee dee. I guess. : > : >Ross--who wouldn't mind saying "ribit ribit" round about now. : > : Who wouldn't? Well, I hear the anti-JN is a heartless bastard. Ross--doesn't really; he's just trying to create conflict.
In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: >: In article <45un7t$rue@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: >: >sdc@teleport.com wrote: >: >: Well maybe pirates do say "Har." But frogs say "ribit ribit". Unless >: >: you mean Frog as opposed to frog in which case I'm confused. >: > >: >: ---Steve >: > >: >Actually I mean Big Frog, and you don't have to be confused. > >: "NORMAN, and I'm confused." > >Ok, now I'm confused. >: > >: >Big Frogs say "har" when pirates are being discussed. They never say "ribit >: >ribit," well, not without a few glasses of Jack in them. > >: Big Frogs don't say "ribit ribit" with JD! >: They say "Doodlydoodly DEE DEE" with JD! > >Well, I don't remember what I was saying, I was saying doodlydoodly dee dee. >I guess. > >: > >: >Ross--who wouldn't mind saying "ribit ribit" round about now. >: > >: Who wouldn't? > >Well, I hear the anti-JN is a heartless bastard. Yup. I got no heart. *gak* *choke* ...Can't...pump...blood...*gasp* *thump* >Ross--doesn't really; he's just trying to create conflict. *jumps up again* I knew that!!! /^JN - The Anti JN - Do you know how hard it is to live without a heart? -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: :Spatch exists in the laughter of children or in the morning dew :or the setting sun. Spatch exists in the pratfall of a man being chased by a hat or in the act of Magnus decapitating obnoxious ASCII art or in the bacon in your fridge. :flapjack-who would like to point out that that would make a hell :of a .sig quote --Bill (who would like to point out that that would make a hell of a thread) -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
wright (wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu) wrote: : In article <45uelb$kj6@giga.bga.com> : aardvark@bga.com (aardvark) writes: : > In article <45p88v$aab@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu : > says... : > : > >"Sir! It is the recruit's duty to inform the Senior Drill Instructor : > >that Private Pyle has a full magazine, locked and loaded!" - Private : > >Joker, "Full Metal Jacket" : > : > ...Private Joker, upon hearing that the Tet Offensive has been launched: : > : > "Sir, does this mean that Ann Margaret won't be coming?" : Aww, Jesus fuck! Why are my taglines getting more followup than the : substance of my posts? 'Cause they're too long and we can't get the meter. Sock. : -gw "We are American soldiers. We are 10 and 1." Ross--who's a lean, mean, fighting mach--no, wait, he's not.
In article <4615pv$10e@ixnews6.ix.netcom.com> Michael Roach, mikroa@ix.netcom.com writes: >>>: : >> >>>>>Babies! >>>: : >> >>>>Newbies! >>>: : >> >>>Maybes! >>>: : >> >>Scabies! >>>: : >> >Rabies! >>>: : >> Hippies! >>>: : >Wallabies >>>: : Wanna bes >>>: Killer bees >>>I got fleas! >>I'm swinging through the trees! >I can't find my keys! Who cut the cheese? ___________________ Suzanne Schroeder Broadcasting from near the home office in Pflugerville, Texas. Crap! This thing won't post because I didn't add enough text. So, uh, how's your day been? That's good. Mine's okay. My classes put me to sleep. How about those Cowboys? Think they've got a shot at the superbowl this year? Like I care. I haven't seen a football game since high school. Did you catch the X-Files? What about SNL? That totally sucked. I was embarrassed for Chevy Chase, but then again, he probably got more laughs that night than in his last 5 films combined. My grandparents said to tell you hi, and to stop by sometime. They haven't seen you in ages. I guess I should write them more. Oh, were you there in my film class the other day? Boy, that was a dumb film they were showing. Made no sense. I think I'll go into radio instead, but not a country western station like someone suggested. Who is that new singer? Water Walker? Oh, Clay Walker! Hopefully, we all won't be doing another achy-breaky dance. Well, I'll write ya later. This should fill up enought space.
Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: Thank you. : I misread the title of this post and was hoping to find gratuitous : limrag. Instead I got this garbage. Much obliged. : If anyone knows where I can find some gratuitous limrag, please advise. : Email me at the above address, as I am not a regular reader of this : group. Hey, you're cool, you know that? : Thanks, idiots. No, please, after you. : Doom Avatar (se2dn) wrote: I snipped it for you, aren't you happy? : -- : Gesundheit. Why thank you. I didn't sneeze, but thank you ever so much. Ross--who thought she asked for "gracious" limrag.
Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : In <45nmkm$p5u@ixnews7.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael : Roach ) writes: : > : >In <45m59m$nmt@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : >> : >>Mircalla (kst2guu@herts.ac.uk) wrote: : >> : >>Ross--who just figured out how to decapitate things, but as Spatch : >pointed : >>out, the cat's gone. : > : >The cat just jumped on my back. I'm trying to finish this post with my : >left hand as I pull him off my back with my right. The searing pain is : >traą : >NO CARRIER : > : Whew, that was rough! Anyway Ross, how do you decapitate things? I'm : considering it for the cat, that should calm him down for a while. Well, Magnus is the expert, but you just cut their heads off. Ross--who actually saw it in a movie somewhere.
On 17 Oct 1995 22:51:44 GMT, Michael Roach <mikroa@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> In <461ahp$m8t@villa.fc.net> starship@freeside.fc.net (John Fields)
> writes:
> >
> >While moderation is a virtue to be admired,
> >It can be taken to extremes.
> > Starship
>
> It's none of your business how much I moderate! I'll moderate as much
> as I d**m well please!!!!
>
> Michael, who is _not_ volunteering to moderate newsgroups!
My momma always said that if you moderate too much, you'll go blind!
cagey -- but it sure is fun...
Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: : In article <458uc2$sii@jaring.my>, : Joi Sanqeeta Murugavell <joi@pl.jaring.my> wrote: : >... I too am afraid of this newsgroup... maybe we should form a new : >newsgroup called alt.fear anonymous : But it can't be anonymous unless we're ALL afraid... But I'm afraid, I'm very afraid. Ross--who always does what he's told, except use the word roodindondrool.
aardvark@wxyzzy.com (aardvark) wrote: :In article <45co1d$tg$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com>, :70325.1137@CompuServe.COM says... :>Jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Dr. Kildare?) asked: :>:)Huh? (tm Nosy) :>:Duh? :>Wha?? (tm Bill) :Uhhn. (ie. that settles it) Hey! Now waitaminit! Oh, oh. Hold on a sec... : ________ _ ______ :|______ | | | \\ __ __ \\ / ___ | : _ |_| ____ | | / / \ \ ____ / / / | : | | |____| | \ / / \ \ |____| \/ / / : | | | |\| /_/ \_\ / / : /_/ |_| /_/ Hold it. Thread interrupted. What the hell is that thing??? MAGNUSSSSS!!!!!! -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >aardvark@wxyzzy.com (aardvark) wrote: > >:In article <45co1d$tg$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com>, >:70325.1137@CompuServe.COM says... >:>Jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Dr. Kildare?) asked: >:>:)Huh? (tm Nosy) >:>:Duh? >:>Wha?? (tm Bill) >:Uhhn. (ie. that settles it) > >Hey! Now waitaminit! > >Oh, oh. Hold on a sec... > >: ________ _ ______ >:|______ | | | \\ __ __ \\ / ___ | >: _ |_| ____ | | / / \ \ ____ / / / | >: | | |____| | \ / / \ \ |____| \/ / / >: | | | |\| /_/ \_\ / / >: /_/ |_| /_/ > >Hold it. Thread interrupted. What the hell is that thing??? > >MAGNUSSSSS!!!!!! Hey, calm down, lokk at it this way instead: /////////////////// \\\\\\\\\\\\\ ___________________________________________________ |||||||||||||||||||||||| /^JN - The Anti JN - Much less frightening that way. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
aardvark@bga.com (aardvark) wrote: :In article <45gm9s$hlt@ixnews3.ix.netcom.com>, :mikroa@ix.netcom.com says... :>>SQUAWK!!! :>>SQUAWK!!! :>h h hoo :>h h hoo :>h h hoo hoo :bock-bock-bock-bock BWAAAAAAAWK!!! :bock-bock-bock-bock BWAAAAAAAWK!!! bwok! bwok! --Bill (bring on the smiley brigade! --keylime) -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
In some bacon article Suzanne Ē Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> stated: >In article <4615pv$10e@ixnews6.ix.netcom.com> Michael Roach, >mikroa@ix.netcom.com writes: >>>>: : >> >>>>>Babies! >>>>: : >> >>>>Newbies! >>>>: : >> >>>Maybes! >>>>: : >> >>Scabies! >>>>: : >> >Rabies! >>>>: : >> Hippies! >>>>: : >Wallabies >>>>: : Wanna bes >>>>: Killer bees >>>>I got fleas! >>>I'm swinging through the trees! >>I can't find my keys! >Who cut the cheese? Open the window please! >___________________ >Suzanne Schroeder > >Broadcasting from near the home office in Pflugerville, >Texas. > >Crap! This thing won't post because I didn't add enough >text. So, uh, how's your day been? That's good. Mine's >okay. My classes put me to sleep. How about those Cowboys? >Think they've got a shot at the superbowl this year? Like >I care. I haven't seen a football game since high school. >Did you catch the X-Files? What about SNL? That totally sucked. >I was embarrassed for Chevy Chase, but then again, he probably >got more laughs that night than in his last 5 films combined. >My grandparents said to tell you hi, and to stop by sometime. >They haven't seen you in ages. I guess I should write them >more. Oh, were you there in my film class the other day? >Boy, that was a dumb film they were showing. Made no sense. >I think I'll go into radio instead, but not a country western >station like someone suggested. Who is that new singer? Water Walker? >Oh, Clay Walker! Hopefully, we all won't be doing another achy-breaky >dance. Well, I'll write ya later. This should fill up enought space. Y'know, this is really profound... /^JN - The Anti JN - To bad I don't get it. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4635tf$3bp@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: |> Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote: |> : In <45vjk7$kfo@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: |> : > |> : >>>No, it's "Virgil." |> : >>> |> : >>No, it's "Russ." |> : > |> : >Who? |> : > |> : Um, Russ, you know, Russ? |> |> Yeah, I heard that guy's back. What did my back say...? Couldn't hear since I was facing forward, -Russ
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: : >tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: : >: In article <45un7t$rue@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: : >: >sdc@teleport.com wrote: : >Well, I hear the anti-JN is a heartless bastard. : Yup. I got no heart. : *gak* har : *choke* har : ...Can't...pump...blood...*gasp* ....Can't....pump....blood...har : *thump* har : >Ross--doesn't really; he's just trying to create conflict. : *jumps up again* har : I knew that!!! : /^JN - The Anti JN - Do you know how hard it is to live without a heart? Just ask Buddy Ebsen. Ross--who thinks that may be a new slogan of his
In article <45uqdq$6ni@access5.digex.net> jmwilson@access5.digex.net (John Wilson) writes:
> \O/ . .
> | . . .
> / \ . . . . .
> . . . . . . ....o
> [bounce] [bounce] [bounce-roll]
>
>---
. .
/|\ . . .
/ \ . . . . .
. . . ...0 o
[casse] [casse] [casse-roll]
*MM
In article <45vif3$1jn0@news.gate.net> cdemmons@gate.net (Rev. Gypsy Joker) writes:
>: |\___/|
>: |/ \| Saturday cat
>: / X X \
>: ~~~ (\= ^ =/) His opinions are
>: ~~~~~ >~~~\' <\ stuck under the tires of the traskmobile.
>: ===============================================
>: <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
>: -----------------------------------------------
>: >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>: ===============================================
>: | | / \// \\____
>: ****** _//|| _\ /*****\____)*******
>: ********(_/(_|(_____/***************
>: ************************* *******
>: *********************** *******
>: **************** ** * ****** *
>: *********** ** * ****
Hmmm... just to make sure...
_
>¨o¨\'_
===============================================
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
-----------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
===============================================
| | / \// \\____
****** _//|| _\ /*****\____)*******
********(_/(_|(_____/***************
************************* *******
*********************** *******
**************** ** * ****** *
*********** ** * ****
*MM
In article <460q9a$pef@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote: >: In <45nmkm$p5u@ixnews7.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael >: Roach ) writes: >: > >: >In <45m59m$nmt@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >: >> >: >>Mircalla (kst2guu@herts.ac.uk) wrote: >: >> >: >>Ross--who just figured out how to decapitate things, but as Spatch >: >pointed >: >>out, the cat's gone. >: > >: >The cat just jumped on my back. I'm trying to finish this post with my >: >left hand as I pull him off my back with my right. The searing pain is >: >traą >: >NO CARRIER >: > >: Whew, that was rough! Anyway Ross, how do you decapitate things? I'm >: considering it for the cat, that should calm him down for a while. >Well, Magnus is the expert, but you just cut their heads off. Right. It takes a lot more than just cutting their heads off to become a decapitation expert, believe you me. *MM
In article <4619u0$qfh@news4.digex.net> jmwilson@access5.digex.net (John Wilson) writes: ><plop>, <plop>, <*pluuuuunk*>, ACK! ACK! >Water splashing on my butt. >I don't like that much. >Toilet Paper, COOL! >Make you feel so fresh and clean. >Wait, that's baby wipes. >From my panscandinavian collection: "Udelukkende brug af toiletpapir gør dig ikke helt ren. Med S.T.TNG holdes den sarte, følsomme hud omkring anus blød. Stærk, blød og uparfumeret." *MM
In article <45si93$3s4@kelly.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com writes: >Jim Wraith (jim@kildare.demon.co.uk) wrote: >: Was it wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright) that said the following?? >: )In article <812932298.1312@kildare.demon.co.uk> >: )jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim Wraith) writes: >: )> )Huh? (tm Nosy) >: )> Duh? >: )aaauuuurrpp. >: buuuurrrrrppp. >GarRuuupPtht Khawuhm Ptheaw KhhaaGhkugh Gulp.. .. Hmmm.... Hey! That's from Spaceballs! Nice transcription though. *MM
In article <461k22$nlc$3@mhafc.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >aardvark@wxyzzy.com (aardvark) wrote: >:In article <45co1d$tg$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com>, >:70325.1137@CompuServe.COM says... >:>Jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Dr. Kildare?) asked: >:>:)Huh? (tm Nosy) >:>:Duh? >:>Wha?? (tm Bill) >:Uhhn. (ie. that settles it) >Hey! Now waitaminit! >Oh, oh. Hold on a sec... >: ________ _ ______ >:|______ | | | \\ __ __ \\ / ___ | >: _ |_| ____ | | / / \ \ ____ / / / | >: | | |____| | \ / / \ \ |____| \/ / / >: | | | |\| /_/ \_\ / / >: /_/ |_| /_/ >Hold it. Thread interrupted. What the hell is that thing??? >MAGNUSSSSS!!!!!! >-- I can't find its legs! I can't find its bloody legs!! How am I supposed to know where the head is (if any)? *MM
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <4619u0$qfh@news4.digex.net> jmwilson@access5.digex.net (John Wilson) writes: > >><plop>, <plop>, <*pluuuuunk*>, ACK! ACK! >>Water splashing on my butt. >>I don't like that much. > >>Toilet Paper, COOL! >>Make you feel so fresh and clean. >>Wait, that's baby wipes. > >From my panscandinavian collection: > >"Udelukkende brug af toiletpapir gør dig ikke helt ren. >Med S.T.TNG holdes den sarte, følsomme hud omkring >anus blød. Stærk, blød og uparfumeret." Wow. I gotta buy some of that, I've always wanted to keep the special and sensitive skin around my anus soft. >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - The problem is, it's perverted and illegal. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : In <45voao$sk@newsbf02.news.aol.com> asmith4913@aol.com (ASmith4913) : writes: Why is it that when you steal from Stephen Wright you get socked? : > : >Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds? Sock : Why is it that when I buy a television set I only get one? Sock Ross--who may be overstepping the bounds, but I'm going baby, I'm going!
smryanDGMqwL.DM4@netcom.com>: Distribution: @#$%!?! (smryan@netcom.com) wrote: : Why set traps for squirrels? Wait till they get into a territorial : dispute. They get so into fighting over whose tree it is, you : have to try hard _not_ to bicycle over them. : I would never want to bicycle over a cute little squirrel. This thread brings back terrifying memories of falling into alt.devilbunnies and becoming violently ill. -MrSluggo
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article Suzanne Ē Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> stated: : >In article <4615pv$10e@ixnews6.ix.netcom.com> Michael Roach, : >mikroa@ix.netcom.com writes: : >>>>: : >> >>>>>Babies! : >>>>: : >> >>>>Newbies! : >>>>: : >> >>>Maybes! : >>>>: : >> >>Scabies! : >>>>: : >> >Rabies! : >>>>: : >> Hippies! : >>>>: : >Wallabies : >>>>: : Wanna bes : >>>>: Killer bees : >>>>I got fleas! : >>>I'm swinging through the trees! : >>I can't find my keys! : >Who cut the cheese? : Open the window please! Who's keys are these?
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote:
: John Klopper (klopp@neurosun.medsch.ucla.edu) wrote:
: : I wonder, therefore I'm probably not.
: : --
: I'm not, I don't think.
: Ross--who already told you all you need to know./
^
About what? |
|
---Steve (Hey look!! Another one!! Another one!! |)
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote:
: :Spatch exists in the laughter of children or in the morning dew
: :or the setting sun.
: Spatch exists in the pratfall of a man being chased by a hat or
: in the act of Magnus decapitating obnoxious ASCII art or in the
: bacon in your fridge.
Spatch exists in prayers of the blind and the lame.
: --Bill (who would like to point out that that would make a hell
: of a thread)
---Steve (who would like to point out that Bill has pointed out
that this would make a hell of a thread)
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
And since I've just followed up to myself:
:I don't get it. ""the freshmaker" (was: Spatch)?" That
:doesn't
:make sense.
:
:Why didn't tv's Spatch change his name into something like:
:""(:)? <-------------------|
: |
:--() <-------------------|
: |
:(formerly known as Bill) |
|
------------------------------
What kind of smileys are those?????
--Bill (still known as --Bill, yes, --Bill)
(who hasn't been away for a moment, you unfortunate bastards)
--Bill (again)
--
This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in
Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock.
POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi."
"Huh? (tm)"
On 19 Oct 1995 04:16:05 GMT, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: > I don't get it. ""the freshmaker" (was: Spatch)?" That doesn't > make sense. > > Why didn't tv's Spatch change his name into something like: > ""(:)? Hmm... ""(:), the god formerly known as Spatch... that's catchy. cagey -- no, cagey, yes cagey
Two-thrids of the stuff I read in this froup is the same as the stuff from the other two alt.stupidity froups I subscribe to! Jeez! Stop these crossposts to alt.stupidity and alt.stupidity and alt.stupidity! PICK ONE GROUP AND STICK TO IT!!!! DELETE THE OTHERS FROM YOUR FOLLOWUPS!!!!! cagey -- finally, a true original!
this is a pointless thread There are none to be seen cagey -- really
In article <463hbn$qor@giga.bga.com>, aardvark@bga.com says... > > How to tell if you might be a "high tech redneck" > > If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com" > If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page" > If the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop" > If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson" > If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone. > If your baseball cap read "DEC" instead of "CAT" > If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined > If your wife said "either she or the computer had to go", and you still don't >miss >her > If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on > If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy" > If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or far >m >animal > If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all" > > _________________________________ > Howdy, y'all. melissa.c.hoffmeyer@uwrf.edu.over.yonder.com
Oh yeah??? > Path: news.lth.se!newsfeed.sunet.se!news00.sunet.se!sunic!news. > + sprintlink.net!news.ro.com!news-out.internetmci.com!newsfeed. > + internetmci.com!chi-news.cic.net!uwm.edu!msunews!news.mtu.edu!desperado. > + enigma.com!kurtg 21 points here > From: kurtg@desperado.enigma.com (Cagey) 2 here > Newsgroups: alt.stupidity 1 here > Subject: pointless thread > Date: 19 Oct 1995 05:21:34 GMT > Organization: Why are you bothering reading this? > Lines: 4 > Distribution: world > Message-ID: <464n8u$n3h@news.mtu.edu> 2 here > Reply-To: cagey@grfn.org 1 here > NNTP-Posting-Host: ppp03.tc.mtu.edu 3 here > X-Newsreader: slrn (0.7.9.0) 3 here > this is a pointless thread There are none to be seen Look again buster, there's 31 points in that post. > cagey -- really /^JN - The Anti JN - Unreally. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <1995Oct14.150546.15995@roper.uwyo.edu>, hips good for breeding <brogrrrl@UWYO.EDU> wrote: >i am looking for a guy named mike paulk, better known as the Corn >King Cornelius. i want to come to the cornpone tonight, when the >corn is full and on the table. anybody seen the corn king? No, but I saw a hat chasing after a man once. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who was joining the world of missing persons, and he was "BTW, you left out Marcia Strassman's running joke in the show, which was to say 'What did your uncle do next, Gabe?'" - yaz pistachio Running away goofily like the Monkees: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <DGL8Hr.I2o@midway.uchicago.edu>, john patrick lodder <lod2@midway.uchicago.edu> wrote: >Mad Magazine sound effects rule! CHUNGACHUNGACHUNGACHUNGA GA-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH SCHLURGLEGURGLEGURGLE - spatch, you misspelled portzrebie - -- tv's Spatch, the guy who was joining the world of missing persons, and he was "BTW, you left out Marcia Strassman's running joke in the show, which was to say 'What did your uncle do next, Gabe?'" - yaz pistachio Running away goofily like the Monkees: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) wrote: :In <466k6u$i9l@news.onramp.net> virus14 <tcutts@onramp.net> :writes: :>As I understand the enigmatic kernal, the various strata have :>less to do with flavor than actual age. Sedimentary Theory :>tells us that strata further down the sample column are older :>that those preceeding. :> :>Regards, :>virus14 :So which end is up? The other end. If corn is so much better than bacon, why do they have to pour all that goo and food coloring on corn to make it taste good? This debate was settled long ago. So stop it. --Bill (hhhmmmph!) -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
I met an engaging young chap His spatulate lips he would flap Whilst surfing the nest He would suck in his chest And sit on his flapulate ass. --gw
Out east are two wacky young whips With tremendously spatulate lips Whilst HTML'ing They fight over spelling And wiggle their spatulate hips. --gw
Flapjack and Spatula jive They claim to have separate lives We know it's a lie They'll be buds 'til they die (In minutes, about twenty-five) --gw "oops. oh well."
Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <45si93$3s4@kelly.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com writes: : >Jim Wraith (jim@kildare.demon.co.uk) wrote: : >: Was it wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright) that said the following?? : >: )In article <812932298.1312@kildare.demon.co.uk> : >: )jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim Wraith) writes: : >: )> )Huh? (tm Nosy) : >: )> Duh? : >: )aaauuuurrpp. : >: buuuurrrrrppp. : >GarRuuupPtht Khawuhm Ptheaw KhhaaGhkugh Gulp.. .. Hmmm.... : Hey! That's from Spaceballs! It is?!?!? : Nice transcription though. I don't care, duck, Magnus. SOCK!!!! Ross--who really likes Mel Brooks, except the last few movies.
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote:
: Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote:
: : In article <45si93$3s4@kelly.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com writes:
: : >Jim Wraith (jim@kildare.demon.co.uk) wrote:
: : >: Was it wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright) that said the following??
: : >: )In article <812932298.1312@kildare.demon.co.uk>
: : >: )jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim Wraith) writes:
: : >: )> )Huh? (tm Nosy)
: : >: )> Duh?
: : >: )aaauuuurrpp.
: : >: buuuurrrrrppp.
: : >GarRuuupPtht Khawuhm Ptheaw KhhaaGhkugh Gulp.. .. Hmmm....
: : Hey! That's from Spaceballs!
: It is?!?!?
: : Nice transcription though.
: I don't care, duck, Magnus.
: SOCK!!!!
Ouch! Oooh son of a...! You wait till I get my hands on you why I'll!
You could put someones EYE out like that!
---Steve (Socked by a big TOAD)
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being SOCKED for your playjemism. PhhTpTpT :)~
dat92jni@ludatlth.se (Anti JN) wrote:
:In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist)
:stated:
:>In article <813705677.5812@kildare.demon.co.uk>
:>jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim Wraith) writes:
:>> M
:>> O
:>>-|-
:>> M
:>-|-
:> M
:. -- | MM O .
:/^JN - The Anti JN - Sectioning is fun.
M
| M
\ O
- \|/
-POP- Hi! .
/|\ ^
|____ratz! gotta way!
--Bill
--
This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in
Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock.
POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi."
"Huh? (tm)"
In article <466efl$mbg@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >wright (wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu) wrote: >: In article <vtkk.v1wki.1708.003571E7@elvi.vtkk.fi> >: vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: >: > In article <4627pr$hlk@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu >(wright) writes: >: > >: > >[Foaming at the mouth:] >: > >They are NOT too long. >: > >I've seen many longer posts! >: > >Most of these posts are too short!! >: > >What a lot of dumb one-line followups there are lately!!! >: > >I thought all you old coots would have longer attention spans!!!! >: > >: > [Me too!] >: > A good one-liner is far better that 5 kilobytes of shit! >: > I like good one-liners. >: Moi aussi. Obviously a good one-liner is better than 5k of shit. >[sock] >You could always skip over the shit and read the good stuff. >Just ask Buddy Ebsen. >Sock. >I'm a Big Frog. >Try some soup. >Not with Spatch's sister, you won't. >Me too. >Ross--who'll let you knwo when he gets a good one liner. That's pretty damn cool, man. I've always wanted to knwo. Life without knwo is as good as 5 kilobytes of shit, but man, when you get the knwo, it's like a helluva one-liner! Let's hope Ross will soonest get a good one-liner so he'll let us knwo!! *MM -- who wants to knwo.
In article <ivan-1710950839360001@host-179.subnet-233.med.umich.edu> ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) writes: >Our local "library this way" sign has a symbol of a person reading a book >and an arrow, no words what-so-ever. I understand the hospital having an >"H" for their sign, but the library it would seem, could spell it out. >Reid- I wonder if there is any braille on the sign? Nooo... modern technology has overrun braille. There's a built-in speech synthesizer in the sign that says in 8 seconds intervals: "Arrow. Library is this way. Arrow. Library is this way..." *MM
In article <463s1n$fca@news.mtu.edu> kurtg@desperado.enigma.com (Cagey) writes: >On Wed, 18 Oct 1995 17:40:32 LOCAL, Magnus Mulqvist <vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi> >wrote: > > In article <460m5c$rt9@news.bu.edu> russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ Reynolds) writes: > > > > > :-) The machine I read/post news from is an IBM RS/6000 > > > running AIX 3.2.5. My workstation is a SparcStation 5 running > > > a generic SunOS 4.1.3_U1 (Sound Version). The machine I actually > > > do most of my work on is a SparcStation 370 running SunOS 4.1.3 > > > But if I *really* want to get anything accomplished I log onto > > > a DEC 3000 running VMS 6.2 (with optional POSIX cli) > > > Where was I? > > > > In Hell > > > > *MM >NoNoNO! You need to laugh diabolically when you say that. This this: ><demonic_voice> >In HELL!!! >mwahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Okay I'll give it a try. In HeHEHEHE!! uh, sorry. In HELL!!! MBWahahaha. No... it seems I'm not for diabolical laughters, I'll leave 'em to you. ><cue wall of flames> >cagey -- burn, baby, burn! *MM -- whom repenteth the flame thath burneth in his hearth.
matmcinn@leonis.nus.sq (Bret McInnes) spake: :And into crud thou shalt return "...crud was, is, and shall ever be. Crud without end." "You GROK!" "90 percent of _everything_ is crud!" Don't sock me, Ross. --Bill (i must be a mushroom, for they keep me in the dark and..) -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)"
In article <469jgi$t7o$4@mhadf.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >matmcinn@leonis.nus.sq (Bret McInnes) spake: > >:And into crud thou shalt return > >"...crud was, is, and shall ever be. Crud without end." > >"You GROK!" > >"90 percent of _everything_ is crud!" > >Don't sock me, Ross. Maybe he won't, but I want to right here and right now declare an outright ban on crud-sharing in this newsgroup. Open sex, of course, is still permissible. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "fish" in "ghoti" "There's a doodle in my noodle and it's name is Minky Boodle!" "Minky Boodle!" "MINKY BOODLE!" "Minky Boodle!" "MINKY BOOODLE!" - Cartoon Planet We're packing up the big yellow vans. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Or at least it seems that way... who can tell? Sarah
\|/ \|/
-POP- Hi! -POP- Hi!
/|\ /|\
To see it in 3D, cross your eyes and lean closer to the screen.
Closer. Closer...
HA! Radiation damage!
--Bill
--
This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in
Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock.
POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi."
"Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
A web page dedicated to the stupidity of the human race. . . check it out at: http://www.skypoint.com/members/mikefry/spp.html Enjoy! Mike
<In article <46ekjt$2ak@newsstand.cit.cornell.edu> john@HARLIE.ee.cornell.edu (John Stimson) writes: <In article <fts.227.00E1E1D6@cris.com>, Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: <> "Oinkman (Damien Leer)" <dleer@lawson.its.utas.edu.au> writes: <>>> < > Antelope freeway, 1/2 mile... <>>> antelop freeway, 1/4 mile... <>>> antelope freeway, 1/8 mile... <>>antelope freeway, 1/16 mile... <> <>antelope freeway, 1/32 mile... next exit... <WHAM!!! Huh? <What, did you think "antelope freeway" was just a picturesque name? Hey, I took the old Antelope to make good time; less traffic. <Or have you been reading too much Zeno recently? Who? antelope freeway, 1/64th mile. <-- John, who wonders whether antelope freeway is within driving distance <of Ithaca No, it ain't.
In article <ATAYLOR.95Oct18160727@gauss.nmsu.edu>, ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: |> |> <So is Russ (yes, Russ) really one of the original flounders |> <of our froup? |> |> Yes. |> |> I mean, NO! Yes! |> I mean, I've never seen him before in my life, That's what you say NOW! |> and I don't |> know if his gloves fit or not, and I don't care, either! They do and you do. Care that is. |> Russ who? Reynolds. -Russ
In article <464n3i$nn2@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright) writes: |> |> Zen is not going to do me a particle of good and you know it. Zen does all good to all people. Or not. It's fickle. |> The most |> Zen could ever do would be to make me accept my possessed bicycle as |> some sort of karmic retribution. That's a bad thing? |> I've had quite enough of being walked |> all over by every spawn of hell with a spare millisecond thank you ever |> so very fucking much. Are you refering to me or your bike? |> This is a job for Catholicism. Thank BoB! Catholocism has been out of work for so long! |> Furthermore, as most of the civilized world knows, if you violate any |> of the ten commandments in the process of acquiring holy water it loses |> its holiness forthwith. Oh. Which commandment would that be braking? Be specific. |> Check out |> http://heaven.org/~peter/h2olyFAQ.html if you don't believe me. Must |> be in a state of grace to access. Got an error. -Russ
In article <466f79$mbg@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: |> aardvark (aardvark@bga.com) wrote: |> : Remember the good ol' days when liquor wasn't sold on Sundays? That was |> : great, the drunks had to buy medicinal alcohol or vanilla extract to get |> : drunk. Them were good times. |> |> Yeah, those good old days, like last week. |> |> Ross--who lives in Massachusetts. Hell, I'm still drunk from last night! -Russ *hic*
sdc@teleport.com wrote: :>---Steve (Don't forget to count this one -->.) : ^^^^^ :Cute smiley, but what does it mean? I don't know. It's got an arrow stuck in the top of it's head, it's lost an eye, and it's using a bunch of sharp rocks for a pillow. But it's happy. :*MM -- who wonders how many points it takes to fill :the holes in Royal Albert Hall. At least 4000 to fill the holes. --Bill -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: :[crap history deleted] :>|> > [gratuitous crap deleted] :>|> [more stuff deleted] :[rest of shtuff deleted] [my followup deleted] -- wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause. Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at: http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
William Wilkinson (wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com) wrote: : vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: : :[crap history deleted] : :>|> > [gratuitous crap deleted] : :>|> [more stuff deleted] : :[rest of shtuff deleted] : [my followup deleted] [har deleted] Ross--[who's deleted]
In article <4691vc$1en@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: |> William Wilkinson (wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com) wrote: |> : vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: |> |> : :[crap history deleted] |> : :>|> > [gratuitous crap deleted] |> : :>|> [more stuff deleted] |> : :[rest of shtuff deleted] |> : [my followup deleted] |> [har deleted] |> |> Ross--[who's deleted] []
In article <vtkk.v1wki.1721.005ADFBD@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: < In article <464l5o$l6r@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright) writes: < >In article <vtkk.v1wki.1702.00FAA244@elvi.vtkk.fi> < >vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: < >> In article <45vi53$f3i@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu < (wright)>writes: < >> >In article <vtkk.v1wki.1684.007D643A@elvi.vtkk.fi> < >> >vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: < >> < >> >> >ps: do you have SATAN for linux? < >> >> < >> >> No, so help me Spatch! < >> < >> >Pity. < >> Kitty. < >Snitty. < Nitty gritty. Gritty Kitty(tm) < >> >Took you long enough to get back to me. < >> I wasn't even trying very hard, you know. < >Huh, uh huh huh, you said "hard" (sorry, don't know what came over me) < Don't panic, it's quite normal for male persons of about 12 to 14 years < of age (or more). Yah, but, uh, I din't know wright was male *or* that old.... < >> >Say where can I get Finland's Funniest Home Videos? < >> I hop^H^H^Ham afraid nowhere, there aren't any, baceuse < >> "home" is finnish for fungus. < >> >Are there any Russian armaments 4sale cheap up there. [...] < >> Yep, but our fucking army buys them all. Buy our fucking army! < >No can buy, not with current fucking budget. < >What are the fucking rental rates? < >How fucking fast can you get a fucking regiment of fucking paratroops < >to the fucking corner of fucking Market and fucking Bellefontaine < >fucking in fucking Champaign, fucking Illinois fucking fucking fucking? < I don't fucking know, man, I don't fucking know! You should fucking < consult our fuc king (e fucking mail "presidentti@tpk.fi"). Fuck. No kidding? < >> < >> >--gw " .44 Magnus " < >> < >> *MM < >--gw < >ps: i've not been to Finland. What is its greatest natural wonder? < Me and the rest of the population. Huh? Now I'm really wondering....
In some bacon article ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) stated: >In article <vtkk.v1wki.1721.005ADFBD@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: >< >> [ SNIP ] >< >> *MM >< >--gw >< >ps: i've not been to Finland. What is its greatest natural wonder? > >< Me and the rest of the population. > > Huh? Now I'm really wondering.... He's right. You haven't seen anything until you see a Finn guzzle down a litre bottle of vodka in ten minutes. (This is true, I've seen it myself!) Oki, the man was flat on his back an hour later but I'm still impressed. My best feat is .7 litres of tequila during 3 hours. And then I got to spend the next 5 hours in the shower.... /^JN - The Anti JN - Plus I got to pay 2000:- (~ $300) in damages. :-( -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
This should clear things up a bit... it [~] webster gyroscope gy.ro.scope \'ji--r*-.sko-p\ \.ji--r*-'ska:p-ik\ \-i-k(*-)le-\ n [F, fr. gyr- + -scope; fr. its original use to illustrate the rotation of the earth] : a wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to each other and to the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the entire apparatus offers considerable opposition depending on the angular momentum to any torque that would change the direction of the axis of spin - gy.ro.scop.ic aj it [~] -Russ
In article <lost-kitty@jklkjlafsfsasaffsa> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: > > HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOK! > RUSS IS BACK! > YES, RUSS!! > AND HE'S DEFINED GYROSCOPE FOR US!!! > > YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!! And so we left, with the gyrocaptain as our new leader. And in the fullness of time, I became the leader of the great Northern Tribe. And the road warrior? We never saw him again. --gw " bvvd'd'd bvvvd'd'd'd bvvvAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... "
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) stated: >In article <469jgi$t7o$4@mhadf.production.compuserve.com>, >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >>matmcinn@leonis.nus.sq (Bret McInnes) spake: >> >>:And into crud thou shalt return >> >>"...crud was, is, and shall ever be. Crud without end." >> >>"You GROK!" >> >>"90 percent of _everything_ is crud!" >> >>Don't sock me, Ross. > >Maybe he won't, but I want to right here and right now declare an >outright ban on crud-sharing in this newsgroup. > >Open sex, of course, is still permissible. How about closed sex then? Is it still permitted? /^JN - The Anti JN - Who thinks closed sex is like not sharing your bacon. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright) stated: >In article <lost-kitty@jklkjlafsfsasaffsa> >spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: > >> >> HEY, EVERYBODY, LOOK! >> RUSS IS BACK! >> YES, RUSS!! >> AND HE'S DEFINED GYROSCOPE FOR US!!! >> >> YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!! > >And so we left, with the gyrocaptain as our new leader. >And in the fullness of time, I became the leader of the great Northern >Tribe. >And the road warrior? We never saw him again. *sock* /^JN - The Anti JN - Who didn't like that movie. Too much intelligence. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Suzanne Ē Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> writes: :In article <4615pv$10e@ixnews6.ix.netcom.com> Michael Roach, :mikroa@ix.netcom.com writes: :>>>: : >> >>>>>Babies! :>>>: : >> >>>>Newbies! :>>>: : >> >>>Maybes! :>>>: : >> >>Scabies! :>>>: : >> >Rabies! :>>>: : >> Hippies! :>>>: : >Wallabies :>>>: : Wanna bes :>>>: Killer bees :>>>I got fleas! :>>I'm swinging through the trees! :>I can't find my keys! :Who cut the cheese? That was a sneeze! :___________________ :Suzanne Schroeder :Broadcasting from near the home office in Pflugerville, :Texas. :Crap! This thing won't post because I didn't add enough :text. So, uh, how's your day been? That's good. Mine's :okay. My classes put me to sleep. How about those Cowboys? :Think they've got a shot at the superbowl this year? Like :I care. I haven't seen a football game since high school. :Did you catch the X-Files? What about SNL? That totally sucked. :I was embarrassed for Chevy Chase, but then again, he probably :got more laughs that night than in his last 5 films combined. :My grandparents said to tell you hi, and to stop by sometime. :They haven't seen you in ages. I guess I should write them :more. Oh, were you there in my film class the other day? :Boy, that was a dumb film they were showing. Made no sense. :I think I'll go into radio instead, but not a country western :station like someone suggested. Who is that new singer? Water Walker? :Oh, Clay Walker! Hopefully, we all won't be doing another achy-breaky :dance. Well, I'll write ya later. This should fill up enought space. I used to have that problem but figured out a way to get around it. But I can't remember what it was. --Bill -- wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause. Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at: http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
In article <469bb1$gfa@ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>, mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach ) wrote: > In <814226009.22408@kildare.demon.co.uk> jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim > Wraith) writes: > > > >I reckon this is really weird, but I had a dream that my knee-caps had > >been surgically removed. Comments? > That should make it easier to kick yourself in the head. In my dream > where I lost my kneecaps, it was much easier for me to insert my foot > into my mrumghghf. Huh, you wouldn't think sticking your foot up your butt would muffle your voice like that. Reid
ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) writes: :In article <469bb1$gfa@ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>, mikroa@ix.netcom.com :(Michael Roach ) wrote: :> In <814226009.22408@kildare.demon.co.uk> jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim :> Wraith) writes: :> > :> >I reckon this is really weird, but I had a dream that my knee-caps had :> >been surgically removed. Comments? :> That should make it easier to kick yourself in the head. In my dream :> where I lost my kneecaps, it was much easier for me to insert my foot :> into my mrumghghf. :Huh, you wouldn't think sticking your foot up your butt would muffle your :voice like that. Must be getting crowded in there. --Bill -- wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause. Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at: http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
In article <464ef9$ont@linda.teleport.com>, sdc@teleport.com wrote: > Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: > : nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: > > : :Spatch exists in the laughter of children or in the morning dew > : :or the setting sun. > > : Spatch exists in the pratfall of a man being chased by a hat or > : in the act of Magnus decapitating obnoxious ASCII art or in the > : bacon in your fridge. > > Spatch exists in prayers of the blind and the lame. Spatch exists, therefore I am. > : --Bill (who would like to point out that that would make a hell > : of a thread) > > ---Steve (who would like to point out that Bill has pointed out > that this would make a hell of a thread) > > !!!!WARNING!!!! > You are being video taped for your safety. Oh, if ever a hell of a thread there was, this is because, because, because, because of the wonderful things it does! Oh, we're off to post to the threeeeeaaaaad, the hell of a thread of stupidityyyyyyy! -- Reid (who would like to point out that Steve has pointed out that Bill has pointed out this would make a hell of a thread)
In article <46fkqh$7im@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >He's right. You haven't seen anything until you see a Finn >guzzle down a litre bottle of vodka in ten minutes. >(This is true, I've seen it myself!) >Oki, the man was flat on his back an hour later but Must've been a bloody amateur. In these parts one litre is the limit after which it is allowed to start the discussion about which pub to go to. *MM
In article <reuben-2210951905070001@austin-2-1.i-link.net> reuben@safe-t-child.com (Reuben King) writes:
>reuben@safe-t-child.com \\ CHIRP!
>http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html \\ (o> /
> (o> //\
>"When the government fears the people, it is liberty. _(()_____V_/_____
> When the people fear the government, it is tyranny." || ||
> -- Thomas Paine
>------
reuben@safe-t-child.com CHppph.
http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html , /
, //\
"When the government fears the people, it is liberty. _(()_____V_/_____
When the people fear the government, it is tyranny." || ||
-- Thomas Paine
*MM
In article <814376748.2794@pondlife.demon.co.uk> fish@pondlife.demon.co.uk (fish) writes: >Hello Yes >Look you phoned ME >NO >Sorry I'm busy >NO >Who? >Never heard of them >Bye >'click' What is this, V.42tetris XonXorXoff handshake? *MM
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <46fkqh$7im@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: > >>He's right. You haven't seen anything until you see a Finn >>guzzle down a litre bottle of vodka in ten minutes. >>(This is true, I've seen it myself!) >>Oki, the man was flat on his back an hour later but > >Must've been a bloody amateur. In these parts one litre >is the limit after which it is allowed to start the discussion >about which pub to go to. I can imagine, I've heard about the strange games you play when drunk. "Jokke" for example. >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - It's an practical game, mainly to cut down on the players. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvis) asked: :In article <46gke3$e2j@news.bu.edu> russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "shut :the hell up" Reynolds) writes: [snip] :> -Russ, I guess :Who are you? He fights for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. ..and he never lies, Lois. :*MM Oops. Sorry. Wrong newsgroup. --Bill -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
ataylor@nmsu.edu (Captain Nosy) ordered:
:<In article <46imcl$be2@freenet.vcu.edu> pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes:
:<>In article <45tfcj$ou1@macondo.dmu.ac.uk>, Avatar <se2dn> wrote:
:<>If your toilet smells, don't shit in it.
:< Aye Captain, she can't take much more!
: Well, *fix it*, Scotty, you're an engineer, *fix* it!
: We've got to have more power! I need that working, now!
: Bones, help Scotty.
: Dammit, Jim, I'm a *Doctor*, not a plumber!
:< cabbage: tortess, please begin the cascade.
: Play-a-day, please don't expand this stinker....
STARFLEET HQ: Order cancelled. Captain, you're relieved.
Play-a-day, take the chair.
Full ahead warp-flush one.
--Bill
--
wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause.
Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at:
http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
In article <ATAYLOR.95Oct24084120@gauss.nmsu.edu>, Nosy <ataylor@nmsu.edu> wrote: ><In article <46ho0m$mno$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >< the aSian oRange <gonzo@blkbox.com> asked: > >< ->:Just what is this thread about? >< / >< | :-- >< | :+--| gonZo |--------------------------|gonzo@blkbox.com|-+ >< | :| "I always thought the brain was the most vital organ | >< | :| in the body. But then I thought 'What's making me say | >< \ :| that?'" -- co-worker friend Matt. | >< ->:+-------------------------------|Psychic Brain Surgeon|--+ > >< ^ >< | >< It's about this long. > > ><--------------------------------------------------------------------> > And, it's about THIS wide And about this newsgroup that we're singing about. *ahem* I was born a Stupidian I was raised by Italians And I'll die an Arcadian In Stupidity, with baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAcon! -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "fish" in "ghoti" "There's a doodle in my noodle and it's name is Minky Boodle!" "Minky Boodle!" "MINKY BOODLE!" "Minky Boodle!" "MINKY BOOODLE!" - Cartoon Planet We're packing up the big yellow vans. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
On 18 Oct 1995 sdc@teleport.com wrote:
> Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote:
> : In some bacon article Suzanne =AA Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> st=
ated:
> : >In article <4615pv$10e@ixnews6.ix.netcom.com> Michael Roach,
> : >mikroa@ix.netcom.com writes:
> : >>>>: : >> >>>>>Babies!
> : >>>>: : >> >>>>Newbies!
> : >>>>: : >> >>>Maybes!
> : >>>>: : >> >>Scabies!
> : >>>>: : >> >Rabies!
> : >>>>: : >> Hippies!
> : >>>>: : >Wallabies
> : >>>>: : Wanna bes
> : >>>>: Killer bees
> : >>>>I got fleas!
> : >>>I'm swinging through the trees!
> : >>I can't find my keys!
> : >Who cut the cheese?
> : Open the window please!
> Who's keys are these?
Who stole my knees?
-----
_ _ _ =20
/\/\ (_)_ __ ___ __ _| | | __ _ @cyberspace.org "bEcOmE aNd =
=20
/ \| | '__/ __/ _` | | |/ _` | @g6bob2.ampr.org LiVe"
/ /\/\ \ | | | (_| (_| | | | (_| | delirium@nether.net - Bajoran
\/ \/_|_| \___\__,_|_|_|\__,_| C.Ockenden@herts.ac.uk Proverb
=20
ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) writes:
:In article <vtkk.v1wki.1732.0059FCBF@elvi.vtkk.fi>,
:vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
:> In article <reuben-2210951905070001@austin-2-1.i-link.net>
:reuben@safe-t-child.com (Reuben King) writes:
:>
:> >reuben@safe-t-child.com
:\\ CHIRP!
:> >http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html \\ (o> /
:> > (o> //\
:> >"When the government fears the people, it is liberty. _(()_____V_/_____
:> > When the people fear the government, it is tyranny." || ||
:> > -- Thomas Paine
:> >------
:>
:> reuben@safe-t-child.com
:CHppph.
:> http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html , /
:> , //\
:> "When the government fears the people, it is liberty. _(()_____V_/_____
:> When the people fear the government, it is tyranny." || ||
:> -- Thomas Paine
:>
:> *MM
:CHppph-bang! Stay away from Bill's birdfeeder! . . . .
(ducks) HEY!!! Watch where you point that thing! . | /
: http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html . \. , / .
: , .. - '.
: "When the stupidians fear the people, it is paranoia. _(()_____/|\_____
: When the paranoid fear the stupidians, it is stupid." || .|| .
: -- Reid
CHppph-bang! Stay away from Bill's birdfeeder!
http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html
,
"When the stupidians fear the people, it is paranoia. _(()_____ _____
When the paranoid fear the stupidians, it is stupid." ||
-- Reid
I was wondering where all the birds had gone.
--Bill
--
wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause.
Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at:
http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
William Wilkinson (wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com) wrote: : ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) writes: : :In article <vtkk.v1wki.1732.0059FCBF@elvi.vtkk.fi>, : :vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: : :> In article <reuben-2210951905070001@austin-2-1.i-link.net> : :reuben@safe-t-child.com (Reuben King) writes: : :> : :> >reuben@safe-t-child.com : :\\ CHIRP! : :> >http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html \\ (o> / : :> > (o> //\ : :> >"When the government fears the people, it is liberty. _(()_____V_/_____ : :> > When the people fear the government, it is tyranny." || || : :> > -- Thomas Paine : :> >------ : :> : :> reuben@safe-t-child.com : :CHppph. : :> http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html , / : :> , //\ : :> "When the government fears the people, it is liberty. _(()_____V_/_____ : :> When the people fear the government, it is tyranny." || || : :> -- Thomas Paine : :> : :> *MM : :CHppph-bang! Stay away from Bill's birdfeeder! . . . . : (ducks) HEY!!! Watch where you point that thing! . | / : : http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html . \. , / . : : , .. - '. : : "When the stupidians fear the people, it is paranoia. _(()_____/|\_____ : : When the paranoid fear the stupidians, it is stupid." || .|| . : : -- Reid : CHppph-bang! Stay away from Bill's birdfeeder! : http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html : , : "When the stupidians fear the people, it is paranoia. _(()_____ _____ : When the paranoid fear the stupidians, it is stupid." || : -- Reid : I was wondering where all the birds had gone. Long time passing? Ross--who's still waiting for that bathmat information, thank you.
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote:
: tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote:
: : In article <45sdt2$l4g@nuscc.nus.sg>,
: : Brett McInnes <matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg> wrote:
: : >
: : >"He who stealeth from the poor, lendeth to the Lord."
: : "But I still giveth nickels when I can."
: Whooo, yeah, har, all hail Spatch's nickels
Woo-woo! All hail Spatch's knuckles!...
: Ross--who only needs five more to complete his set.
Princess WhiteGoat - who's upset that customs won't allow body parts to
cross the borders....
Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: : In article <1995Oct25.114113@cronus.bentley.edu>, : SIBLEY_R@cronus.bentley.edu (Richard W. Sibley) wrote: : >If people are so stupid that they need lables on gasoline telling them not : to : >drink it, then shouln't we let them? : Let them have their labels, you mean? Sure. Hey, Jason, where've you been? A few days back, Spatch had invited a bunch of us up to your place at 7:30 to kick your ass for no apparent reason. But you weren't there. --Bill -- wxwilki@lookout.ecte.uswc.uswest.com | To be is to do -- Hegel They're my opinions, not your's or | To do is to be -- Marx anybody else's (well, maybe). | Do be do be do -- Sinatra
In article <1995Oct25.114113@cronus.bentley.edu>,
SIBLEY_R@cronus.bentley.edu (Richard W. Sibley) wrote:
=> If people are so stupid that they need lables on gasoline telling them
not to
=> drink it, then shouln't we let them?
Hmmmmm..
This also begs the question about operating instructions imprinted on
shampoo bottles.
--
reuben@safe-t-child.com \\ CHIRP!
http://www.safe-t-child.com/reuben/myhome.html \\ (o> /
(o> //\
"When the government fears the people, it is liberty. _(()_____V_/_____
When the people fear the government, it is tyranny." || ||
-- Thomas Paine
Wayne Kessler (Wayne.Kessler@Microserve.com) wrote: : but apparently my server was not. : What's the big plan? Wait, let me check... ------------- http://www.cs.indiana.edu/finger/gateway (click) This is a searchable index. Enter search keywords:Wayne.Kessler@Microserve.com This page generated by the IU finger gateway Wayne.Kessler@Microserve.com connect: Connection refused ------------- I don't know. Why do you ask? --Bill -- wxwilki@lookout.ecte.uswc.uswest.com | To be is to do -- Hegel They're my opinions, not your's or | To do is to be -- Marx anybody else's (well, maybe). | Do be do be do -- Sinatra
On 25 Oct 1995 17:29:39 GMT, Reid Fleming <ivan@adventures.of> wrote: > In article <46fjep$6m4@nic.lth.se>, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: > > > In some bacon article spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) stated: > > >In article <469jgi$t7o$4@mhadf.production.compuserve.com>, > > >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: > > >>matmcinn@leonis.nus.sq (Bret McInnes) spake: > > >> > > >>:And into crud thou shalt return > > >> > > >>"...crud was, is, and shall ever be. Crud without end." > > >> > > >>"You GROK!" > > >> > > >>"90 percent of _everything_ is crud!" > > >> > > >>Don't sock me, Ross. > > > > > >Maybe he won't, but I want to right here and right now declare an > > >outright ban on crud-sharing in this newsgroup. > > > > > >Open sex, of course, is still permissible. > > How about closed sex then? Is it still permitted? > Only if you use a turkey baster. Or a thigh master if you lubricate it properly. > > > /^JN - The Anti JN - Who thinks closed sex is like not sharing your bacon. > Reid - Who thinks closed sex is when you keep your close on. cagey -- who doesn't think
There are 8 million messages in alt.stupidity tonight. This has been one of them. -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
In article <43stdc$3sl@news2.delphi.com> ROFOUR@news.delphi.com (ROFOUR@DELPHI.COM) writes: [SNIP!!] >a stupid Cabbage Patch doll. I don't know how to parse this. Spatch? Fish? Bill?? Help!! Dave, Or someone.
Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : In article <no-kitty@jkljkljklfsaafsfsa> : spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) writes: : > In article <44ihi8$oso@panix3.panix.com>, Tortess <tortess@panix.com> wrote: : > > : > > Tortess (who on her farm, she has some . . . Tortoises) : > : > : > E I E I O!! : > : With a . . . : With a . . . : Okay, smart guy, what sound do tortoises make? Gesundheit. I thought that was obvious. : flapjack-who doesn't want to hear "Cowabunga, dude!" Cowabunga, dude! --Bill (hah!) -- wxwilki@lookout.ecte.uswc.uswest.com | To be is to do -- Hegel They're my opinions, not your's or | To do is to be -- Marx anybody else's (well, maybe). | Do be do be do -- Sinatra
fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) wrote: :In article <44ue4b$f05@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> :nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: :>You win! Here's your 100 points: :>............................................................... :>................................... :I only counted 98 Ninety-eight points in the post in all, Ninety-eight points in all! Take one down and pass it around, Ninety-seven points in the post in all. .............................................................. ................................. --Bill (who is the 14th bottle of beer) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in someone's .sig a few weeks ago.)
Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : >> : >> Each time you kill a Wilkinson, two more grow back. : >> : > : >Hmm. Maybe Bill is the Verbal Hydra. : Hmm. Maybe I'll never run out of double edge razor blades. I hope when : I kill the dull ones, I don't get two dull Wilkinson's back! One thing you can say about alt.stupidity is, there's never a dull Wilkinson. Unless its a very slow day. Another thing you could say about alt.stupidity is that it is very stupid. There's probably more you can say about alt.stupidity, but I'm liable to run into a speeling error if I continue, so I'll quit whiel I'm ahaed. : >flapjack-who may not be a 44 Magnum Donut, but he has had a 48 oz : Super : >Big Gulp : Michael-who may not have a 48 oz Super Big Gulp, but he has : an XP55j Super Soaker Tortess, who may have neither a 48 oz Super Gulp nor an XP55j Super Soaker, but who once sat on superglue, and got soaked in a thunderstorm earlier this year. (I said "never a dull Wilkinson." Not "never a dull Tortess.") -- Gesundheit.
In article <4511hk$95m@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: >In article <meow-kitty@jkjkljklfsafsa> >spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >> In article <44n99t$pnj@vassun.vassar.edu>, Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> >> >flapjack-who saw Hillary Rodham Clinton today, and he doesn't mean in >> >the supermakret or anything >> >> Oh, you meant the supermarket, right? >> >> >I dunno. . . you're the expert. . . >> -- >> tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "main" in "change of domain, thanks, DNS" >> "It is unwise to annoy cartoonists." - Matt Groening >> Not much time left to see it as it was: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula >> Coming soon: Temporarily Spatch County >Oy! Another new address? Modifying the homepage? Or moving it? Yes, look, a god should be more static and not fly around like an unbroken guota. >And I thought the blue M&M's were bad. LeRoy Brown was bad. He was not blue though, he was brown, LeRoy brown. >flapjack-who thought Spatch would at least get rid of the "tv's" >moniker *MM -- who is wondering who tv's Monika is.
In article <fts.164.01A1D9D8@cris.com> fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) writes: > Fail? No thanks, I'll pass. flapjack-who would care for a crouton though -- "Perhaps the idea of taking a piece of candy (from) a throat is a bit gross, but believe me, there is a lot worse in the candy realm."--anonymous FINALLY! IT'S BACK! AND BETTER THAN EVER!: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes:
:In article <nwright-0410951528500001@annex-v32bis-56.slip.andrew.cmu.edu> nwright@winchester.pp.psc.edu (Knat) writes:
:>--
:>\\||//
:>
:> )
:> ~
:Bill! Looks like a job for you.
It looks like somebody tried to clone Rune H.Eidhammer's .sig and
horribly botched it.
Oh, well.
-
:-
\ | /
\ | /
:> \|/
> -POP-
/|\ )
>
~
--Bill
--
wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause.
Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at:
http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
In article <451ahe$q6k@thunder.powertech.no> kulde@intercom.no (Henry Leirvoll) writes: >>Steve Stanchfield (steves@mediastation.com) wrote: >>: I'm scared of this newsgroup....... >I don't get it - what's this man afraid of? Welcome to a.s. *MM
In article <44nepn$cs5@giga.bga.com>, aardvark <aardvark@bga.com> wrote: >In article <44mv0h$5kk@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu>, Suzanne Ē Schroeder at >suzsch@mail.utexas.edu says... > >>(Leaning up to screen) >> >>What are you doing in there? You look so lonely. > >I'm just a cathode ray tube, doing what I do best. HEY! That's my favorite episode of Schoolhouse Rock! - spatch, thinking he needs to change his macros - -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "main" in "change of domain, thanks, DNS" "It is unwise to annoy cartoonists." - Matt Groening Not much time left to see it as it was: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Coming soon: Temporarily Spatch County
tortess@panix.com (Tortess) made me wonder: :john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: :: no, ruth. it's the policy of ruth. what about Boaz? How'd ::you like that for a name, really. :Or Shitbreath. That's a hell of a name. : Tortess (who wonders what the hell were my parents :thinking) I wonder what they were _doing_? --Bill (whose parents were thinking about delivery fees) :-- :Gesundheit. Any kid named that is just asking for it... -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under conspuction. (A word I'd seen in someone's .sig a few weeks ago.)
fnargle@falcon.inetbar.com (yaz.pistachio) defined: :Attaccabottoni (Italian): a doleful bore who buttonholes people :and tells them sad, pointless tales. :[Noun] Attaccabottonied (dressing): the act of buttonholing people and telling them sad, piontless tales. [verb, active and intransitive] :-- :It's Yazpage. Now available while quantities last. : http://incolor.inetnebr.com/fnargle/yaz You know, I have a web page. But nobody can see it becasue it's behind a firewall. But your Yazpage looks nice. Too bad nobody can see my homepage. I think that's sad. I wrote pages for several other people and for our department, too. But nobody outside our firewall can see them. Woe, woe, woe. Well, I see that you're anxious to get back to work on your Yazpage, so I'll guess I'll leave now. People would think my homepage would be just as nice if only they could see... [****SLAM****] -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in someone's .sig a few weeks ago.)
In article <44ssgf$70j$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >[***SNIP***] I second that! >Not only is it sick for Novell to clone Flapjacks to greet >sailors, I think it's also illegal for them to create clones >in this froup! I came up with the idea first! (Well, okay, >I borrowed it from FST--but they haven't sued me!) Probably becasue Finlands Svenska Television has not noticed your vile action. I'll pass on this information to settle the situation. Thanks for your time! *MM
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : papa legba at boi.hp.com sed: : :-papa, who makes the rules : Your Englis rule works, and so does your metric. But can you : make me one that measures furlongs per fortnight? : --Bill (who wonders who rules) I measure everything in cubits nowdays. Nights, too. -papa, who no longer measures up (go ahead, say it)
<In article <44vvgp$ldk@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: <In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: <>In article <no-kitty@kfsjklafsjklfsa> spatula@gecko.concorde.com (tv's Spatch) writes: <>>In article <44jsk2$p3e@nyx.cs.du.edu>, <>>seth appell <sappell@nyx.cs.du.edu> wrote: <>>>Blue blood is at a premium these days. <>>Yeah, that's how they make blue M&Ms. <>That's right. <> <>&MM -- losing my indirection. <Here, have some deferencing: <MM[0] == *MM I put these coordinates into my GPS receiver and it told me I'd gone to Hell! What kinda pointer *is* that, anyway?
an83981@anon.penet.fi wrote: : > "The truth is better than ten goats" : i happen to know for a fact that the truth is worth only three and a half : goats. : dieter. Has the truth been devalued again? Man, that really gets my goat. Ross--who's having flashbacks.
In article <44rmot$3hc@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: > In article <44q9km$hmr@vassun.vassar.edu>, > nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: > >In article <44p303$lut@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> > >nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: > > > >> > >> You're gonna wait too, fat boy. > >> > > > >Oh, sure, I'd wait for the Fat Boys to make a comeback. I loved their > >version of "The Twist!" > > > > Yeah, but I'm partial to older stuff like "My Nuts". > Joke. . .too. . .easy! Must. . .resist. . .gnnnnnnngggggggggggg!!!!!!! Just how old _are_ your nuts? Damn! > >flapjack-who figured this was better than taking it personally > > What, you're a fifteen-year-old Australian grunge rock star? > No, I'm a Canadian popstar in my early twenties who used to be on You Can't Do That on Television. flapjack-who actually has no idea what Jason meant -- "Perhaps the idea of taking a piece of candy (from) a throat is a bit gross, but believe me, there is a lot worse in the candy realm."--anonymous FINALLY! IT'S BACK! AND BETTER THAN EVER!: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <44sbi1$2tl@vassun.vassar.edu>, nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: >In article <44rmot$3hc@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> >nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: > >> In article <44q9km$hmr@vassun.vassar.edu>, >> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: >> >In article <44p303$lut@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu> >> >nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: >> > >> >> >> >> You're gonna wait too, fat boy. >> >> >> > >> >Oh, sure, I'd wait for the Fat Boys to make a comeback. I loved their >> >version of "The Twist!" >> > >> >> Yeah, but I'm partial to older stuff like "My Nuts". >> > >Joke. . .too. . .easy! Must. . .resist. . .gnnnnnnngggggggggggg!!!!!!! > >Just how old _are_ your nuts? > >Damn! HA!!! I knew you couldn't fight it!!! > >> >flapjack-who figured this was better than taking it personally >> >> What, you're a fifteen-year-old Australian grunge rock star? >> > >No, I'm a Canadian popstar in my early twenties who used to be on You >Can't Do That on Television. Well, you oughtta know... I stand ere^H^H^Hcorrected. > >flapjack-who actually has no idea what Jason meant > Then I'm not telling... ------ ----- ---- --- -- - Jason (in parantheses where available) CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html >> This .Sig is Full of Egotistical Nonsense!!!! << "Idiocy is our only option" - Dustin Hoffman, "Outbreak"
ivan@adventures.of (Reid Fleming) wrote: :In article <44k5jo$29t$1@mhafc.production.compuserve.com>, Bill :Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: :> Sears had these computer chairs on sale, so I bought one. It :> was easy to build. I was able to assemble it in less time :> than it takes to do my laundry. :Which is what, a day, a week? Don't leave us in suspense damn :it! :> I was going to name it my damn chair, but then I'd confuse it :> with my bookshelf and birds. So I named it my gnu chair since :> it's new and is computerish. Actually, though, the system I :> use it to sit in front of is MS-DOS. But it doesn't know :> that. How can it? It's just a chair, stupid. :Say, would a folding chair have helped with your laundry? How many quarters does it take? :> Well, gotta roll up my shorts. :That's nice. I got a biscuit up my shorts once. Hurt like hell. Yeah, I hate it when that happens. --Bill (refusing to let this thread die the death it deserves) -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in someone's .sig a few weeks ago.)
,--_|\
/ \
\_,--\_/
v
I found it on the end of Oinkmans sig.
. . . disturbing.
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
In article <453knc$1rq@vassun.vassar.edu>, Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> wrote: > >flapjack-who has enough Mexican food in his refirgerator to feed every >guitar player in Guadalajara Flapjack's frabjous refirgerator is here to help us get the forest back to life after it was mostly cut down for paper! Yaaaaaaaaaay! - spatch, is its first name Douglas? - -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "main" in "change of domain, thanks, DNS" "It is unwise to annoy cartoonists." - Matt Groening Not much time left to see it as it was: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Coming soon: Temporarily Spatch County
In article <44riad$ar6@isdnlin.mtsu.edu>, David Laprad <psc10003@frank.mtsu.edu> wrote: >What is all the fuss about the Christ images in QUAKE? No one, except >some Christians, seemed all that upset about Satanic imagery in DOOM! id >Software is not trying to promote Christianity *or* Satanism. I feel >they use these images to pull people into the game psychologically. > >I am wondering what the reasoning is behind specifically *not* wanting >Christ images in the game. Do you feel they are promoting Christianity? >Do you feel it is sacreligious? And, on the same token, how do you feel >about Satanic imagery in the game? Hey, the coolest thing would be for id to make a small Jesus artifact, like the Maulotaur artifact in Hexen, and when you use it, a giant 900-ft Jesus would appear and then proceed to stomp the shit out of your enemies with you. Cause Jesus would have been one hell of a Quake player, but probably a real sore DM loser. "Fine, you win, but wait'll my Dad gets through with you!" -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "main" in "change of domain, thanks, DNS" "It is unwise to annoy cartoonists." - Matt Groening Not much time left to see it as it was: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Coming soon: Temporarily Spatch County
In article <no-kitty@kjljkljkljkl>, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: > In article <44riad$ar6@isdnlin.mtsu.edu>, > David Laprad <psc10003@frank.mtsu.edu> wrote: > >What is all the fuss about the Christ images in QUAKE? No one, except > >some Christians, seemed all that upset about Satanic imagery in DOOM! id > >Software is not trying to promote Christianity *or* Satanism. I feel > >they use these images to pull people into the game psychologically. > > > >I am wondering what the reasoning is behind specifically *not* wanting > >Christ images in the game. Do you feel they are promoting Christianity? > >Do you feel it is sacreligious? And, on the same token, how do you feel > >about Satanic imagery in the game? > > Hey, the coolest thing would be for id to make a small Jesus artifact, > like the Maulotaur artifact in Hexen, and when you use it, a giant > 900-ft Jesus would appear and then proceed to stomp the shit out of your > enemies with you. Cause Jesus would have been one hell of a Quake player, > but probably a real sore DM loser. "Fine, you win, but wait'll my Dad > gets through with you!" > I don't know, he didn't seem such a sore loser last time around...he did say he'd be back though. Hope he takes it out on the Romans. Reid Who plays Marathong I & II, looks forward to someday playing Quake, but is posting this from alt.stupidity.
Damn, that hurt. A lot. Reid Must...warn...Suzanne.....ooohhhh....thud.
In article <4563r8$5r5@panix3.panix.com>, Tortess <tortess@panix.com> wrote: >Reid Fleming (ivan@adventures.of) wrote: >: Damn, that hurt. A lot. > >Try lubricating lightly before insertion. > >(Works for me.) GOOD HEAVENS, YOU DON'T INSERT THIGHMASTERS!! well, at least, not -there-. - spatch, who's worried about the mental pictures he's getting when someone inserts a closed thighmaster and then it opens back up ... SPROING - -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "main" in "change of domain, thanks, DNS" "It is unwise to annoy cartoonists." - Matt Groening Not much time left to see it as it was: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Coming soon: Temporarily Spatch County
tv's Spatch (spatula@gecko.concorde.com) wrote: : In article <44ac17$11ui@firehose.mindspring.com>, : Frizz <frizz@mont.mindspring.com> wrote: : >KennethW@conch.msen.com (Ken Williams) wrote: : > : > : >>>The NetGirl chat room is closed at the moment but be sure to return Monday, : >>>September 25th at 9pm ET when the topic will be: : >> ^^^^^^ : >>>"It's 10 PM, Do You Know Where Your Children Are?" : >> ^^^^^ : > : > : >"It's 10 PM, Do You Know What Time it is?" : I'll take "Obscure Polish Joke Punchlines" for 200, Alex. : - spatch, uh oh, i just made an ethnic faux-pas - Perhaps, but you get a free Captain Poliagerism pin for that, young Spatch. Ross--who won't condescend to Spatch out of uniform.
Bill Ross (bross@usaor.net) wrote:
Something in a different thread and I thought that maybe... Naww...
Couldn't be. Could it?
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
tortess@panix.com (Tortess) bafflegabbed: :Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: :: I watched it tonight. They kepts saying "stupidity." : :: It made me happy. : :My potato(e)s never talk. (Do you think they're mad at me?) : Yes. You let the mashed ones turn sour. The rest are keeping their eyes on you. :: --Bill ((still) happy) : :--Tortess (paranoid) You should be. There's someone standing in front of you who's about to sneeze. :-- :Gesundheit. See? I told you... --Bill -- <img src="images/working.gif"> Pardon our dust. This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in someone's .sig a few weeks ago.)
In article <454ovd$ckq@vassun.vassar.edu>, Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> wrote: >In article <454h38$haq@news.fsu.edu> >stakacs@garnet.acns.fsu.edu (Scott J. Takacs) writes: > >> Kaye Coffey <KayeCoffey@aol.com> writes: > >> >> > Fall is in the air and so are thoughts of Hallowe'en. I need to >> > start making my costume, but I'm a little unclear on what a succubus >> > looks like. >> >> Ohhh! I know this one! A succubus looks like a female version of an >> incubus! Of course for your computer this would be a databus. > >And if you ate plants and meat you would be an omnibus. But in England, they're called lifts. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "main" in "change of domain, thanks, DNS" "It is unwise to annoy cartoonists." - Matt Groening Not much time left to see it as it was: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Coming soon: Temporarily Spatch County
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >What have you been doing lately, Anti JN? I didn't do anything, nobody saw me do it! >Have you soaked the ludath news relay server >in Absolut Potatis? Not by purpose, but perhaps by accident. If you've found a broken down guota in your newsfeed, then I'm to blame. Sorry. >I've been getting virtually >no news from outside Finland this week! You've been getting it with virtually everyone in finland this week? Damn you're smooth, Magnus. >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - Who hasn't had any problems with News...Must be funet. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Pierre Maraninchi (pmaranin@ifhamy.insa-lyon.fr) wrote: : Can anybody tell me if tomato is a fruit or a vegetable ? : Please, quickly ! It's a fregtable... Spatch, do you remember what the details of that proposed fregtable plan were? Princess WhiteGoat, who likes potatoes on her pizza...
In article <46jom3$lvd@cismsun.univ-lyon1.fr>, Pierre Maraninchi <pmaranin@ifhamy.insa-lyon.fr> wrote: > > Can anybody tell me if tomato is a fruit or a vegetable ? It is an iguana. -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "fish" in "ghoti" "There's a doodle in my noodle and it's name is Minky Boodle!" "Minky Boodle!" "MINKY BOODLE!" "Minky Boodle!" "MINKY BOOODLE!" - Cartoon Planet We're packing up the big yellow vans. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
I used my thigh master to catapult the cat into the next yard.
In <46nt2p$av@abac.au.ac.th> Sean the Irish Bastard <u3229829@au.ac.th> writes: > >I used my thigh master to catapult the cat into the next yard. > My cat LOVES being CATapulted into the next yard!
(NOTICE: This message is not encoded in ROT 13... take whatever steps are
necessary in your newsreader to read the text of this message)
Anyone else notice how our good pal, tv's Spatch, never starts a thread on his
own? Is this because he's unsure of himself, or perhaps because Spatch is
simply an artifical intelligence daemon running on some computer.... or maybe
(gasp!) Spatch has been brainwashed by Dihydrogen Monoxide and Floride!
(And now, the portion of the message where I give some lame ASCII art)
___
Alas, A Spatula --> _______|...|
|___|
Not a Spatula ---> __
\
\___
\_/
(And now, the portion of the message where I realize I'm babbling
nonsensically)
Hey! I'm making this message too damn long! Maybe I should shut up?
(And now, the portion of the message where I reach for a glass of dihydrogen
monoxide)
Oh please no..... "Got Milk?"
(And now, the portion of the message where I respond after hearing a rumor
that Ross will sock me if I continue on too far)
AIIYEEEEEEEE!
(And now, the portion of the message where I contain a cheap hypertext link)
<A HREF="http://www.cris.com/~fts">Cheap Hypertext Link</A>
(And now, the portion of the message that contains my .sig ... finally)
---
Microsoft Corporation and America Online, Inc. are prohibited from
transmitting or storing this article in any form without a license. Mail
fts@cris.com with information of any violations. Licenses are available
to the above mentioned companies at the same E-Mail address for $1000 US.
GCM/CS d-(--) s:- a--- C++++$ ULVX++++$ P+>++ L+(++) E- W+++ N+++ K?
w+/++/+++/++++ O--- M(--) V-- PS+++ PE Y-(--) PGP- t+/++ 5- X+
R+++ tv++ b DI? D++ G e* h++ r y++**
matmcinn@leonis.nus.sig (Brett McInnes) wrote: :Reid Fleming (ivan@adventures.of) wrote: :: "Goat is dead."- Freddy Kneechee :: :Antelopes were here before lopes. So what about Anti-JNs (sp?) Were they before here before JNs??????? --Bill (friday, but no life) -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
In article <46jom3$lvd@cismsun.univ-lyon1.fr>, pmaranin@ifhamy.insa-lyon.fr says... > > > Can anybody tell me if tomato is a fruit or a vegetable ? > > Please, quickly ! > > 8-? > Well, I've heard that a tomato is a fruit, but ketchup is a vegetable. Go figure. Melissa
A long, long time ago, in a galaxative far, far.....no, wait, that's not how this begins. <RESET> Hear me, oh Ihs....nuts... <RESET> Once upon a time, a feller told me "If you want to make a Swedish man laugh when he's an old man, tell him a good joke when he's a young man". And I said, "Huh?" 'cause I din't know any Swedes. Now, years later I read da Net, and I wonder if that guy was Finnished telling me the funny story or not. Of course, I also wonder who wrote the book of Love and when the copyright runs out so I can reprint it real cheap and make a lot of money, so I can buy all the non-blue M&M's I want, too.
In article <46ranr$sl4@freenet.vcu.edu> pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes: > > You want to know what's runny? My nose. That's runny. > > > Are your feet smelly? If so, you must be upside down. Wait. flapjack-who thinks he screwed up -- This post not available in Fairfield County "Aristotle was such a. . . idiot he was like: 'Reah! I'm a philosophah!" --Abe Smith http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html (it beats suicide)
Is that:
& bacon
or:
&& bacon
?
--Bill
--
wxwilki@lookout.ecte.uswc.uswest.com | To be is to do -- Hegel
They're my opinions, not your's or | To do is to be -- Marx
anybody else's (well, maybe). | Do be do be do -- Sinatra
jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim Wraith) pondered:
:Was it Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> that said the
:following??
:)sdc@teleport?com (steve) told Ross, uh, Ross:
:):: Ross--who already told you all you need to know./
;): ^
:):About what? |
;): |
:):---Steve (Hey look!! Another one!! Another one!! |)<---------+
:)Kid. Yer fast. But ya missed that one._______________| |
: ^ ^ ^ |
: \----------|---|--------------------| 72 can play at that |
: V game!! |
:)--Bill (have point. will travel) |
^------------------------------------------+ |
Huh? (tm) I've totally lost the [ ]. | |
| |
Is that a trombone? | |
| |
--Bill (can't add) | |
^ |
| |
BTW, how did those noseless smilies like that get here? |
Also, what the hell is that kind of smiley?---------------------+
--
This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in
Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock.
POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi."
"Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
O O
<------> Ribit Ribit
. .
/\ . . /\
/ | \_____/ | \
/// M M \\\
Just be nice to it because it's so dam cute!
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
In article <46u6l1$117$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: > Earlier today, I was driving around town trying to figure > out why I was driving around town when I looked in the rear-view > mirror and saw a yellow car behind me. On its roof was > a sign that said IXAT. > > What the hell is an IXAT???? > > --Bill First things first, Bill. What's a "car?" flapjack-who thinks Bill is trying to put one over on us -- This post not available in Fairfield County "Aristotle was such a. . . idiot he was like: 'Reah! I'm a philosophah!" --Abe Smith http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html (it beats suicide)
Does anybody remember Ward and Randy's BBS phone number? I need to follow up to something I saw awhile back... --Billllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
No, seriously I happen to have seen this page recently and thought it should be posted here. http://www.ultranet.com/~gsteele/hexnet/index.html It's called Hexnet corporation, I know the guy who made it somewhat and he's somthing of a loser. He started blabbing about how hexagons are a superior shape and what not a while ago as a joke, and I think he believes it now. He's always talking about "hexatronic" radiation and hexagon guns. Kinda scary.
In article <46uso2$mt4@sundog.tiac.net> mattsh@tiac.net (Matt S.) writes: > somthing of a loser. He started blabbing about how hexagons are a superior > shape and what not a while ago as a joke and I think he believes it now. > He's always talking about "hexatronic" radiation and hexagon guns. scary. The "HEXAGUN" ! Of COURSE! ExcusemeI'llbeintheshop... --gw "hot damn. the guys are going to love this."
I have this big ugly lump on the top of my neck that I keep having to scratch. Can somebody help? --Bill -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
In <46vu3q$9aq$3@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: > >I have this big ugly lump on the top of my neck that I keep >having to scratch. > >Can somebody help? Magnus will help you, he's your man, if he can't do it, no one can!
frank@exit.com (Frank Mayhar) wrote:
:Of the groups on the Newsgroups line, only alt.stupidity could
:possibly be appropriate.
Yay!!!
:In article
:<Pine.OSF.3.91.951029150837.17242B-100000@sable.ox.ac.uk>,
:>This has nothing to do with alt.fan.bill-gates which I read it
:>on (unless you conspiracy theorists are even crazier than I
:>though) but it is true that aluminium/aluminum has been found
:>to contribute to at least one form of Alzheimer's disease
:>(there are two types). I am unaware of any other mind-altering
:>effects.
:Nope. The one study that produced this result was flawed:
:The samples were contaminated. Aluminum does not contribute
:to Alzheimer's. Period.
^
|___point
--
Frank Mayhar frank@exit.com
^^^
Har!
--Bill (aluminum spelled backwards is munimula)
--
This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in
Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock.
POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi."
"Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
I'm caught up on my alt.stupidity reading!!! No more articles!!!! I'm done!!!!! Ha ha None!!!!!! Ho he All through!!!!!!! HA He I can't believe it!!!!!!!! Hahahahahaha hehehahhahohohoho Mwahahahahahahahahahahehehehehhohohohohhe No wait, I was wrong... I'm going to get a beer now, -Russ P.S. - Everyone, go to Pizzeria Uno's in Kenmore Square right now! The first round is on me if you're there within 1/2 hour. Hurry. Now. Go. P.P.S. - I'll be the bearded and mustachioed fellow at the bar with a geeky B.U. T-shirt on. Hurry. Now. Go. P.P.P.S. - That's Kenmore Square in Boston of course. Hurry. Now. Go.
I invite the world out for a drink and nobody shows... Well, world, see what happens next time you invite ME out for a drink... Ha! _russ *hic*
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >matmcinn@leonis.nus.sig (Brett McInnes) wrote: >:Reid Fleming (ivan@adventures.of) wrote: >:: "Goat is dead."- Freddy Kneechee >:: >:Antelopes were here before lopes. > >So what about Anti-JNs (sp?) Huh? >Were they before here before JNs??????? No, the JN was here before me... >--Bill (friday, but no life) /^JN - The Anti JN - (Monday and lots of life. Too much) -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <Pine.LNX.3.91.951027051826.674B-100000@gecko.concorde.com> tv's Spatch <spatula@gecko.concorde.com> writes:
>> Me: Stupid is as stupid does. You=stupid.
>Wait, am I saying "stupid." in reply to your comment, or are you making a
>mathematical statement in re the variable You has the value of "stupid"?
>Please advise. We'd hate to lose coherent thought on this one.
Actually, I interpret it as something like this:
Program Stupid;
Var You:Real;
Is :Real;
Function As(Does:Real):Real;
Begin;
As:=Does;
End;
Begin;
You:=Stupid;
Is:=As(Stupid);
You:=Is;
End.
(Roughly equivalent to "Stupid is as stupid does")
---
Microsoft Corporation and America Online, Inc. are prohibited from
transmitting or storing this article in any form without a license. Mail
fts@cris.com with information of any violations. Licenses are available
to the above mentioned companies at the same E-Mail address for $1000 US.
GCM/CS d-(--) s:- a--- C++++$ ULVX++++$ P+>++ L+(++) E- W+++ N+++ K?
w+/++/+++/++++ O--- M(--) V-- PS+++ PE Y-(--) PGP- t+/++ 5- X+
R+++ tv++ b DI? D++ G e* h++ r y++**
In article <46mim0$8gr@news.mtu.edu>, kurtg@desperado.enigma.com (Cagey) writes: |> On 24 Oct 1995 21:16:02 GMT, RUSS <russ@acs.bu.edu> wrote: |> > Sure seems to be a lot of capitals around here lately... |> > |> > it [~] date |> > Tue Oct 24 17:15:10 EDT 1995 |> > it [~] |> > |> > Whoa! Time to go home for the weekend... |> > |> > -Russ, remember? |> |> WHO????!?!?! |> |> CAGEY -- WHO HAS THE MEMORY OF ONE OF THOSE... UH... THOSE BIG GREY THINGYS It's me! Russ. You know. The guy that disappeared for 3 1/2 years in a swamp in Florida and re-emerged to find alt.stupidity a very busy place indeed. Way behind, -Russ
In article <DH4nz2.3pL@da_vinci.ecte.uswc.uswest.com> wxwilki@lookout (Bill Wilkinson) writes: >Is that: > & bacon >or: > && bacon >? >--Bill A good question. Indeed, that's a good question! As a matter of fact, that's one of the best questions I've seen lately, and this really makes it a good question, besauce I've seen several pretty good questions lately. This beats them all though, so I think we all can agree that it's a good question. Quod erat probandum. (Or was it?) *MM
<In article <vtkk.v1wki.1747.00D39169@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: <In article <DH4nz2.3pL@da_vinci.ecte.uswc.uswest.com> wxwilki@lookout (Bill Wilkinson) writes: <>Is that: <> & bacon <>or: <> && bacon <>? <>--Bill <A good question. Indeed, that's a good question! <As a matter of fact, that's one of the best questions <I've seen lately, and this really makes it a good <question, besauce I've seen several pretty good <questions lately. This beats them all though, so I <think we all can agree that it's a good question. Oh, ok, if we're gonna just sit around pointing at it, then it's *bacon, ok? Or mebbe @bacon.com... < Quod erat probandum. (Or was it?) I think it's "Veni, vedi, baconi" but mebbe not.
In article <471ood$t90@mercury.cc.uottawa.ca> P1145978@students.admin.uottawa.ca (Vincent Pietri) writes: >Where is the point of protecting yourself against dihydrogen monoxide? You >will nevertheless die very soon if you continue to breathe so much Oxygen >Monoxide! >-- You're so right... must switch to drink dihydrogen dioxide and breathe dioxygen monoxide... *MM -- who thinks a slab of nitrogen nitride is cool sometimes...
A thouroughly unexciting experience. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
Yes, I really did find a diner/bar/cafe called: Bacon Sandwhich!! It's true! ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: :<In article <Pine.SOL.3.91.951029022946.27057A-100000@bingsun1> The Stickhandler <bd81004@bingsuns.cc.binghamton.edu> writes: :< On 27 Oct 1995, Nosy wrote: :<> <In article <46o7f3$rsa@freenet.vcu.edu> pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes: :<> :<> <Ninety-Nine Butt Balloons? :<> :<> No. :<> :<> "Ninety-Nine Ba-con Balloons, floating in the noonday sun...." :<I think that you are talking about the song, "99-luft balloons" : Never heard of it. : Sounds, well, silly; "luft" isn't even a word! It's past tense of "left." As in "he luft home an hour ago." hth --Bill -- wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause. Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at: http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
In article <46s16j$obs@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: >Well, I just flew back from Singapore and boy is my ass sore. So are you sure it wasn't Copenhagen? *MM
In article <46vu3q$9aq$3@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >I have this big ugly lump on the top of my neck that I keep >having to scratch. >Can somebody help? >--Bill You've got a cat. Shake it loose but don't lose your head. *MM
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) asked: : :In article <ATAYLOR.95Oct27144314@gauss.nmsu.edu> : :ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: : :> Once upon a time, a feller told me "If you want to : :> make a Swedish man laugh when he's an old man, tell : :> him a good joke when he's a young man". : :> : :> And I said, "Huh?" 'cause I din't know any Swedes. : :> : :> Now, years later I read da Net, and I wonder if that : :> guy was Finnished telling me the funny story or not. : :> : :> Of course, I also wonder who wrote the book of Love : :> and when the copyright runs out so I can reprint it real : :> cheap and make a lot of money, so I can buy all the : :> non-blue M&M's I want, too. : : Nosy, will you marry me? : After the ceremony, will you invite all of us to : the concept^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hreception? : --Bill (hoping ross won't sock me for stealing an old : smothers brothers joke) No, Bill, I won't sock you, but I'm stealing your .sig. Ross--who's getting nasty about it now. -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
In article <470d8t$iua@news.bu.edu>, radio's Russ <russ@acs.bu.edu> wrote: > > P.S. - Everyone, go to Pizzeria Uno's in Kenmore Square > right now! The first round is on me if you're there > within 1/2 hour. Hurry. Now. Go. > > P.P.S. - I'll be the bearded and mustachioed fellow at > the bar with a geeky B.U. T-shirt on. Hurry. Now. Go. > > P.P.P.S. - That's Kenmore Square in Boston of course. > Hurry. Now. Go. Geez, if you'd given me prior warning, I coulda gotten a Peter Pan ticket and met you there! Sheesh. - spatch, it's only $30 round-trip from Northamhfield to Boston when you go the way Picknelly wants you to go ! - -- tv's Spatch, the guy who puts the "fish" in "ghoti" "There's a doodle in my noodle and it's name is Minky Boodle!" "Minky Boodle!" "MINKY BOODLE!" "Minky Boodle!" "MINKY BOOODLE!" - Cartoon Planet We're packing up the big yellow vans. http://metro.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "try-lingual, I'll try anything" Reynolds):
> The opposite of "aloha" is "ahola"
You could make a kick-ass palindrome out of that if you tried.
--
tv's Spatch, the grumpy old neighbor in the neighborhood that is Usenet
"Well, hell, honey, I figure if we're gonna drown 'em like kittens tomorrow,
we might as well spoil them now." - the Dysfunctional Family Circus
Gasping for breath: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth gsi00653@gsaix2.cc.gasou.edu (sheep dog):
>do you believe yourself when you say in your head...."it'll be ok"
No, but that's got the makings of a kick-ass angst song.
>i believe you.....sure....i've been there before...man it's ok...you're
>not gonna die....it's only temporary.......
What, the death or the belief?
>"but the grasshopper in my brain is growing"
"When you can take this grasshopper out of my brain, it is time for you to
leave."
>shhhhhh....it'll be alright.....here have some coffee.....it's colombian..
I didn't know coffee was powdery and white.
--
tv's Spatch, the grumpy old neighbor in the neighborhood that is Usenet
"Well, hell, honey, I figure if we're gonna drown 'em like kittens tomorrow,
we might as well spoil them now." - the Dysfunctional Family Circus
Gasping for breath: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
<In article <475fn5$6s2@news.bu.edu> russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "Der einze und nur" Reynolds) writes: < In article <lost-kitty@jlkkjlfafs>, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: < |> < |> Well, "luft" in German is "bacon". Which really fucks up my notion of < |> the Luftwaffe, if you know what I mean. < Bacon Waffles, hmmmm... Yum. < Entshuldigung sie bitte, You mispeeled "Fahrfargneuven", and I don't see what masturbation has to do with this, anyway. < -Russ, illiterate in 3 languages! Yer parents weren't married, either? Geeze....what's going on?
It's absolutely true, folks! I found it in the library at the student radio station. There is a group named Spatula. _______________ Suzanne Schroeder
<In article <475ub8$5u0@borg.it.uswc.uswest.com> wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com (William Wilkinson) writes: <mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach ) writes: <:In <475b3f$ivp@freenet.vcu.edu> pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes: <:> <:> <:> <:>There it went! <:Somebody catch it before it gets out the door! <Oh great. Now it's loose on the ship. What harm can one tribble do?
In some bacon article ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) stated: ><In article <475ub8$5u0@borg.it.uswc.uswest.com> wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com (William Wilkinson) writes: ><mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach ) writes: > ><:In <475b3f$ivp@freenet.vcu.edu> pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes: ><:> ><:> ><:> ><:>There it went! ><:Somebody catch it before it gets out the door! ><Oh great. Now it's loose on the ship. > > What harm can one tribble do? Fi Fy Fo Fum, I smell the acid of a guotum. /^JN - The Anti JN - And I got that RD reference...even if it was unintentional. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article tortess@panix.com (Tortess) stated: >Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: >: <In article <475ub8$5u0@borg.it.uswc.uswest.com> wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com (William Wilkinson) writes: >: <mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach ) writes: > >: <:In <475b3f$ivp@freenet.vcu.edu> pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes: >: <:> >: <:> >: <:> >: <:>There it went! >: <:Somebody catch it before it gets out the door! >: <Oh great. Now it's loose on the ship. > >: What harm can one tribble do? > Is it armed? Yeah, three-armed. /^JN - The Anti JN - Forearmed is forewarned. Sock. *ouch* -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
quoth fts@cris.com (Chester Karma): >In article <479o6q$4c2@frodo.smartlink.net> wet and sticky panties <jrambolt@ix.netcom.com> writes: >>yes, but how does one alter the message i.d. on the post so that it >>appears to be someone else's, or a non-existant one?????????????? >>????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? >>?????????????????????????????????????? >>????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? >>????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? >>???????????? >>??????????????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????? >> ????????????????????????????????????????????????? "Hey, Charlie Brown, what do you see in the clouds?" "I see a man chasing after his hat." >that is bad and unethical and shouldn't be done. use an anon server if you >don't want your name posted with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "And what about this one?" "I see Flapjack's butt." -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <47dp93$g0d@nic.umass.edu> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: > quoth fts@cris.com (Chester Karma): > > >In article <479o6q$4c2@frodo.smartlink.net> wet and sticky panties <jrambolt@ix.netcom.com> writes: > > >>yes, but how does one alter the message i.d. on the post so that it > >>appears to be someone else's, or a non-existant one?????????????? > >>????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? > >>?????????????????????????????????????? > >>????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? > >>????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? > >>???????????? > >>??????????????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????? > >> ????????????????????????????????????????????????? > > "Hey, Charlie Brown, what do you see in the clouds?" > > > "I see Flapjack's butt." > > I see London, I see France. flapjack-who thinks he's won this round pretty handily -- This post not available in Fairfield County "Aristotle was such a. . . idiot he was like: 'Reah! I'm a philosophah!" --Abe Smith http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html (it beats suicide)
quoth wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com (William Wilkinson):
>mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach ) writes:
>:In <475b3f$ivp@freenet.vcu.edu> pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes:
>:>
>:>
>:>
>:>There it went!
>:Somebody catch it before it gets out the door!
>Oh great. Now it's loose on the ship.
Now would be a great time for the following:
A: Any crew member with a death wish to chow down with a big
heapin' helpin' of Spaghettios.
B: Any crew member with a pet to lose said pet and worry
about it for the rest of the movie.
C: Any nubile female crew member to take a shower.
D: Any rugged male crew member to take a shower with
the nubile female crew member, thus drawing
the ire of Jason and Jason's mom.
E: Heather Langenkamp to publically apologize for
"Just The Ten of Us" and admit she liked
the movies where she killed Freddy off better.
F: Heather Langenkamp to take a shower with me.
G: The crew to encounter a hostile alien lifeform, the likes
of which they've never seen before, only to have
Neelix save the day with his super-duper
chef's special.
(oh, sorry. wrong show.)
H: The crew to encounter a hostile alien lifeform, the likes
of which they've never seen before, only to have
Quark save the day with his super-duper
wheeling and dealing.
(shit, I did it again.)
I: The crew to encounter a hostile alien lifeform, the likes
of which they've never seen before, only to have
Wesley save the day with his super-duper kid
genius power ability.
(this is not working.)
J: The crew to encounter a hostile alien lifeform, the likes
of which they've never seen before, only to have
Heather Langenkamp save the day by taking
a shower with me.
(ok, that I can deal with.)
- spatch, who needs a shower -
--
tv's Spatch, the grumpy old neighbor in the neighborhood that is Usenet
"Well, hell, honey, I figure if we're gonna drown 'em like kittens tomorrow,
we might as well spoil them now." - the Dysfunctional Family Circus
Gasping for breath: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth memcneil@netcom.com (Michael McNeil):
>America is a united nations.
>It is comprised of peoples from everywhere.
>It's culture is a mixture of all those peoples.
>It is unlike anywhere else in the world in that respect.
>Everyone is an American.
>It is truly the melting pot.
>It celebrates the best of the world.
>It neglects none.
>It represents the worlds peoples working and living together.
>And in my opinion, represents true hope for us all.
>Everyone has been welcomed here.
>All create their own culture.
>You can find every quisine, every trait, every color of the rainbow.
>All forms of archetecture.
>All religions.
>All races.
>It is a nation of unique individuals
>All choosing whatever they most want to be.
>Unconfined by the stoic isms of the past.
>Freedom to be.
>Tamara
Thank you, Tamara, but the essay you were supposed to write for today was
"Why I'm Glad I'm A Communist".
I'm afraid I can't give you a grade for this assignment.
--
tv's Spatch, the grumpy old neighbor in the neighborhood that is Usenet
"Well, hell, honey, I figure if we're gonna drown 'em like kittens tomorrow,
we might as well spoil them now." - the Dysfunctional Family Circus
Gasping for breath: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "duh" Reynolds):
> Ok, so I orderz a pizza and the pizza-delivery-guy (did I mention
> that pizza delivery is an American invention?) shows up and I payz him
> then he sayz "Enjoy your pizza" and I sayz "You too" and he sayz "huh?"
> right as I closed the door in his face.
That sounds like me on my birthday. I confuse my birthday with other major
national holidays wherein everybody shares in the celebration, so when someone
comes up to me on my birthday and says "Happy birthday!" I usually say right
back "Thanks, you too!"
If someone comes up to me when it's not my birthday and says "Happy birthday!"
I pee on their shoes and run.
--
tv's Spatch, the grumpy old neighbor in the neighborhood that is Usenet
"Well, hell, honey, I figure if we're gonna drown 'em like kittens tomorrow,
we might as well spoil them now." - the Dysfunctional Family Circus
Gasping for breath: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth Suzanne Ē Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu>:
>It's absolutely true, folks! I found it in the library at the
>student radio station. There is a group named Spatula.
Yeah, but do they kick ass?
- spatch, who remembers kajagoogoo -
--
tv's Spatch, the grumpy old neighbor in the neighborhood that is Usenet
"Well, hell, honey, I figure if we're gonna drown 'em like kittens tomorrow,
we might as well spoil them now." - the Dysfunctional Family Circus
Gasping for breath: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <47aihf$39s@nic.umass.edu> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: > quoth Suzanne Ē Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu>: > > >It's absolutely true, folks! I found it in the library at the > >student radio station. There is a group named Spatula. Tonight? > > Yeah, but do they kick ass? > As an authority, I'd like to know as well. > > > - spatch, who remembers kajagoogoo - > Gesundheit. flapjack-who can't believe he beat the usual gang to the punch and hopes Ross won't sock him -- This post not available in Fairfield County "Aristotle was such a. . . idiot he was like: 'Reah! I'm a philosophah!" --Abe Smith http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html (it beats suicide)
>Eggbeaters tomorrow, Spatula Tonight! Vomit Fest somewhere in between! >>Don't know kemosabe, it was a new CD that hasn't been reviewed >>yet. I'm only a volunteer with so much free time. I'm reviewing >>some covers of Thin Lizzy. If it's still in there, I'll get it >>tomorrow and check it out. I'm sorry to say, gentle viewers, but someone took the CD. I will have them destroyed. I know people in the City pound.... >Thin Lizzy and Spatula. Kinda like Pink Lady and Jeff, now that I think about >it. Wait, the bands that were doing the covers can sing and are >from the Midwest. So, what does that make you? >Ok, I don't want to think about it. Good. People get pissed when you think too long. It takes up their time. >I posess no questions. >I posess no Linda Blair. I posess no comfy chair. >Especially the rockin' theme to The Never-Ending Story. What story are you talking about? The O.J. Case? Oh, yeah. That was a great cover by the Jury 12. "The Chain Gang." > >- spatch, and there beyond the rainbow is the answer to a never-ending > stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooory.... - And, it is yours for $12.95! ________________ Suzanne Schroeder
quoth fts@cris.com (Chester Karma):
>In article <040343Z01111995@anon.penet.fi> an83981@anon.penet.fi writes:
>>In article <lost-kitty@kjfsajklafssa> you wrote:
>>: In article <fts.262.00235CD9@cris.com>, Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote:
>>: >In article <46s1a1$ocu@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack)
>>writes:
>>: >>"That thing's a toupee, right?"
>>: >>flapjack-who also would have accepted: "Your gearshift scratched my
>>: >>back"
>>: >Well what about: "She says I'll go blind"
>>: Give my vote to "We're naming him after you."
>>one i used: "did she always scream alot?"
>And the ever-popular "We're dry cleaning the sheets."
"I'll replace that tablecloth."
--
tv's Spatch, the grumpy old neighbor in the neighborhood that is Usenet
"Well, hell, honey, I figure if we're gonna drown 'em like kittens tomorrow,
we might as well spoil them now." - the Dysfunctional Family Circus
Gasping for breath: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth BER408@ix.netcom.com (Clueless):
>I sometimes do, and I enjoy using, in place of raisins,
>1/4 cup of finely diced Velveeta on my Post Toasties.
>Ummm, ummmm: That's mighty good eatin'.
You scare me.
--
tv's Spatch, the grumpy old neighbor in the neighborhood that is Usenet
"Well, hell, honey, I figure if we're gonna drown 'em like kittens tomorrow,
we might as well spoil them now." - the Dysfunctional Family Circus
Gasping for breath: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil):
>tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote:
>: How do you post?
>
>Well, just like Whitegoat and Bill, I use my computer.
And what do the rest of us use, hmm? Get Smart(tm) Brand Shoe Phones?
>
>So come on, America, how do you post?
STOOP1DLEE!!111 GIMME NEKKID GIFZ NOW!!11
>Ross--who's auditioning for Real People: The Next Generation.
Well, have fun, but don't expect Skip Stevenson to make a surprise appearance
or anything. My refrigerator's "self-cleaning" for a reason, y'know.
- spatch, who's "self-cleaning" right now, if you know what i mean, and i
think you --- HEY! PUT DOWN THAT CHAINSAW! COME ON!
I KNOW THE JOKE'S OLD BUT AAIUIIIIAIAIAIIIIIGIGGIGH -
--
tv's Spatch, the grumpy old neighbor in the neighborhood that is Usenet
"Well, hell, honey, I figure if we're gonna drown 'em like kittens tomorrow,
we might as well spoil them now." - the Dysfunctional Family Circus
Gasping for breath: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <47e3pa$ia1@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: |> |> Ross--who may call for a re-definition of "Stupid." Well, somebody had to do it... it [~] webster stupid 1. stu.pid \'st(y)u:-p*d\ aj [MF stupide, fr. L stupidus, fr. stupe-re to be benumbed,be astonished; akin to Gk typtein to beat - more at TYPE] 1a: slow of mind : OBTUSE 1b: UNTHINKING, IRRATIONAL 1c: lacking intelligence or reason : BRUTISH 2a: dulled in feeling or sensation : TORPID 2b: incapable of feeling or sensation : INANIMATE 3: marked by or resulting from dullness : SENSELESS 4: DREARY, BORING - stu.pid.ly av SYN syn STUPID, DULL, DENSE, CRASS, DUMB meanlacking in power to absorb ideas or impressions. STUPID implies a slow-witted or dazed state of mind that may be either congenital or temporary; DULL suggests a slow or sluggish mind such as results from disease, depression, or shock; DENSE implies a thickheaded imperviousness to ideas; CRASS suggests a grossness of mind precluding discrimination or delicacy; DUMB applies to an exasperating obtuseness or lack of comprehension 2. stupid n : a stupid person it [~] I feel better about myself, -Russ
Russ, yes Russ wrote:
:it [~]
^
|
What is that squiggly thing inside your [ ]?
Just curious.
: I feel better about myself,
Good.
: -Russ
Glad yer back.
--Bill (yes, bill)
--
Who took my .sig?
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : Russ, yes Russ wrote: : :it [~] : ^ : | : What is that squiggly thing inside your [ ]? : Just curious. It's his redefinition of "stupid." Better than all those words he used before. : : I feel better about myself, : Good. : : -Russ : Glad yer back. Never saw him before, so glad you're here. : --Bill (yes, bill) : -- : Who took my .sig? Don't look at me. Ross--who has no idea who took Bill's .sig. -- Gesundheit.
Russ, yes Russ said:
:In article <47h3fc$c89$6@mhafm.production.compuserve.com>, Bill
:Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes:
:|> Russ, yes Russ wrote:
:|>
:|> :it <---that's the damndest smiley I've ever seen
[~]
:|> ^
:|> |
:|> What is that squiggly thing inside your [ ]?
:|> Just curious.
: It's a tilde.
"Tilde the Toilet?" Doesn't Tortess have a copyright on that?
:|> : I feel better about myself,
:|> Good.
:|>
:|> : -Russ
:|> Glad yer back.
: Damned glad to be here, I am,
:|> Who took my .sig?
: Wasn't me...
I think Ross did it. Could you walk across the street
and sock him?
--Bill (who put a lot of work in that .sig)
--
Who took my .sig?
In article <47e1s7$h31@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: >: In article <475f46$6kt@news.bu.edu> >: russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "adverbs r better" Reynolds) writes: > >: > >: > In article <471nu1$sll@vassun.vassar.edu>, nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: > >: > >: > |> flapjack-who sure is glad that Russ is back >: > >: > Damn glad to be here, I am, >: > >: > -Russ >: > > >: Who are you, again? > >It's Thrusday. You're HOW old? > >: flapjack-who really ought to go eat now > >Ross--who ate once, it was pretty interesting. Tell me more about this "eat". ------ ----- ---- --- -- - Jason (in parantheses where available) CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE >> http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html <There's a little piece of everyone that no one else likes.> "Idiocy is our only option" - Dustin Hoffman, "Outbreak"
In article <47h6ve$9s4@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > Jsn Nfzgr (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: > : In article <47e1s7$h31@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) > : wrote: > : >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: > : >: In article <475f46$6kt@news.bu.edu> > : >: russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "adverbs r better" Reynolds) writes: > : > > : >: > > : >: > In article <471nu1$sll@vassun.vassar.edu>, nosmith@vassar.edu > : (Flapjack) writes: > : > > : >: > > : >: > |> flapjack-who sure is glad that Russ is back > : >: > > : >: > Damn glad to be here, I am, > : >: > > : >: > -Russ > : >: > > : > > : >: Who are you, again? > : > > : >It's Thrusday. > > : You're HOW old? > > Well, let's see, last time I checked they were printed in Cleveland. > Sure, the ones with _four_ legs. > : > > : >: flapjack-who really ought to go eat now > : > > : >Ross--who ate once, it was pretty interesting. > > : Tell me more about this "eat". > > Well, little boy, they were once bigger than Abba. > I think they toured with Bread one summer. > Ross--who's bigger than Abba, and should really see a nutritionist > about it. flapjack-who once saw a sign that said Phish Hole, so I bought a ticket, when I got there is was just a bunch of semiliterate guys with poles sitting around a hole carved in some frozen pond -- This post not available in Fairfield County "Aristotle was such a. . . idiot he was like: 'Reah! I'm a philosophah!" --Abe Smith http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html (it beats suicide)
In article <47e1s7$h31@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: > : In article <475f46$6kt@news.bu.edu> > : russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "adverbs r better" Reynolds) writes: > > : > > : > In article <471nu1$sll@vassun.vassar.edu>, nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: > : > |> > : > |> Anapestic is the adjectival form of anapest. > : > > : > Ooooohhhhhhhh, now I get it! Thanx Flapjack! > > : You bet. . . and that's One to Grow On. > > I'll raise you five...and knowing is half the battle--G I Joe! Okay. . .I call (throws a He-man bumper where Ram-man warns kids not to hit things with their heads). flapjack-who thinks Ross is bluffing, he doesn't have that Superfriends flush -- This post not available in Fairfield County "Aristotle was such a. . . idiot he was like: 'Reah! I'm a philosophah!" --Abe Smith http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html (it beats suicide)
In article <47ativ$f0u@vassun.vassar.edu>, nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: |> |> Who are you, again? Ok, last time: I am Russ. The guy that was stupid enough to retire at the age of 29 and move to Florida. Discovered that Florida is a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there. Came home. Got my old boss drunk and made him hire me back (lest I release the video). Posted to alt.stupidity and hasn't looked back. You know, -Russ
Russ, hth, Russ sed: :In article <47gdlo$d2m@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>, :nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: :|> :|> Tell me more about this "eat". : It's a UNIX command. Short for "Establish Another :Thread". : -Russ No, you mipelled cd \ rm -rf * --Bill (hth) -- Who took my .sig?
dumass? smartass? ask falpjack for defs... post quest tomorrow... EscZZ shit /shell exit shit Ctrl-Alt-Delete Hey!!! NO CARRIER...#$@#%%.....
In article <poulosioDHG6x5.FLD@netcom.com> poulosio@netcom.com (Mad Max) writes: > > Karl Czapla (ez301@cleveland.Freenet.Edu) wrote: > > : Semantics, semantics, semantics. All that and a mention > : on his near and dear AOL. Crap must feel real special now, > : especially since he's light years ahead in the race for the > : Platinum Killfile Award. > > : First Place Prize: Yet Another Golden Killfile Award > > How about the Plutonium Killfile? Well, I'm sure on alt.aol-sucks you can pick up a plutonium killfile at every corner store, but here in alt.stoopididity, they're a little harder to come by! flapjack-who's never visited this group before. . .nice carpeting -- This post not available in Fairfield County "Aristotle was such a. . . idiot he was like: 'Reah! I'm a philosophah!" --Abe Smith http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html (it beats suicide)
!In article <47h930$9s4@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: !Cagey (kurtg@desperado.enigma.com) wrote: !:On 4 Nov 1995 02:23:53 GMT, Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> wrote: !:>In article <47dn3b$d55@nic.umass.edu> !:>spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: !:> !:>>quoth nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger): !:>> !:>>>In article <479acf$7pg@news.cict.fr>, !:>>> "D.I.Hovden" <hovden@gmmhp1.insa-tlse.fr> wrote: !:>>>>OUR WEAPON IS SURPRISE, FEAR AND SURPRISE... !:>>>>OUR TWO MAIN WEAPONS ARE SUPRISE AND FEAR AND A HOPLESS DEVOTION TO THE !:>>>POPE !:>>>>OUR THREE WEAPONS ARE.... !:>>>> !:>> !:>>>PAPER, ROCK, AND SCISSORS!!!! !:>>SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK & ROLL! !:> !:> EMERSON, LAKE AND PALMER! !:CROSBY, STILLS, AND NASH!! !SHRIEVE, CRUMP, AND LOWE!!! CANTER, SEIGEL AND BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
quoth fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial): > Playing with her ß, > Princess WhiteGoat Hey, that kind of thing'll get us all arrested! You know they're policing the Supermation Infohighway for such actions! - spatch, shuddering - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
<In article <47bpp4$1si@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: <So this guy I know says to me today at work "there are basically two <kinds of people. Those who divide the world into two categories, and <those who don't." Ok, but what about the other kinds of people? <I felt this was a really lame way to kill 7 seconds, so I told him he was <a fucking idiot and I got up and left the room. That's not a very nice way to treat the President of the United States.... <Now he's ignoring me. Oh, wait, obviously you were talking to Newt Gingrich, my mistake. < Do you think I behaved rashly? Calamine lotion and Baby Gold Bond Medicated Gun Powder will take care of that rash.
So why didn't you and falpjack invite us to the party? -- Who took my .sig?
<In article <47bqbr$2hi@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: <There was this broken fan in my office, which blows really forcefully, but <has no "low" setting. Hardly surprising, considering how Rob's popularity has plummeted lately. <I took off the outer protective cage (the wire cover) NO! Oh, don't do that, you'll let the FanBladeCritter out! <and removed one of the blades of the fan. Without anesthetic? You cruel beast! <I turned the fan back on. Tortess! Sex, in the office? <It vibrated really violently until it jiggled and shimmied right of <the window sill and onto the floor. Was it good for you, too? <It broke. And then you cried? <So I picked it up and threw it out the window. It made a huge crashing <sound when it landed on the trunk of a car parked 22 stories below. ZZ stories below? I thought you were in Noo Yawk, not "Houston, Texas"; is your job still handing out circulars on Austin street? < Now I don't have that problem where the fan blows too forcefully anymore. What fan? <Hope this helps all those with a similar problem. Are you gonna start a fan club?
Nosy, yer being down-right nasty. If I could stand up, I'd probly fall over. So there. --Bill -- Who took my .sig?
Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: : There was this broken fan in my office, which blows really forcefully, but : has no "low" setting. : I took off the outer protective cage (the wire cover) and removed one of : the blades of the fan. I turned the fan back on. It vibrated really : violently until it jiggled and shimmied right of the window sill and : onto the floor. : It broke. : So I picked it up and threw it out the window. It made a huge crashing : sound when it landed on the trunk of a car parked 22 stories below. : Now I don't have that problem where the fan blows too forcefully anymore. : Hope this helps all those with a similar problem. : -- : Gesundheit. Since after all, there are two types of people in this world: those who have similar problems, and those who cheat on math tests during the seventh race at Wembley. Ross--who may be taking this too far, or may just be beginning.
wet and sticky panties (jrambolt@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: Mike <mbwarren@acs.ucalgary.ca> wrote:
: >On Mon, 30 Oct 1995, Chester Karma did spew forth:
: >
: >> In article <DH95Jq.BzB@world.std.com> rhc@world.std.com (Richard H Clancey) writes:
: >> >: >You mipelled unadultered. cabbage said "unadultered death."
: >> >: ^^^^^^^
: >>
: >> > you mispeeled "mipelled".
: >> ^^^^^^^^^
: >>
: >> you mespelled "mispeeled".
: > .
: > /|\
: > |
: > `- well *you* mispilled "mespelled"
: >
: Stop mispelleng "mespelled" !!!!!!!!!!!
I don't kare how it's 'pelled. I just wanna no if kandy korn is a fruit
or a vegetable. Hellohoh? Is it a fruit or a vegetable?
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
There was a whole bunch of neat stuff that for the sake of this lame newsreader I had to snip but had to keep this from sdc@teleport.com: :I don't kare how it's 'pelled. I just wanna no if kandy korn is :a fruit or a vegetable. Hellohoh? Is it a fruit or a vegetable? That IS a good question. I'll answer it. It is a vegetable. If you plant a kandy korn and water it every day, it won't grow a kandy kornstalk with kandy korn on the kobs. Why is it a vegetable? Ask cabbage. --Bill (yer welcome) -- Who took my .sig?
What's a symmetrical? Is it some kind of diet food? What is a tjo? I saw one when I was visiting dot ess ee this morning. --Bill -- Who took my .sig?
russ@acs.edu or somewhere asked:
:In article <47h8nj$gv0@maureen.teleport.com>, sdc@teleport.com
:() writes:
^
|
That smiley looks familiar...
:|> *hic*
^^^
|||
What the hell is that one?
: Could you be more specific?
Sure: :|>
^^^
||| What the hell is that thing????
: -Russ
yes, we know
--Bill (speaking for myself)
--
Who took my .sig?
..sounds like some kind of European thing. Damn birds are out there agin. I thought they were supposed to fly south or somthin. Actually, they're sparrows. I once knew this woman named "Agnus" (we called her "Ag")--but not in the Biblical sense. But anyway, I watch these birds land at the damn birdfeeder and think to myself, "Oh, that must be a sparrow Ag knew..." --Bill (sorry about that...) -- Who took my .sig?
Roger or Francis. You decide. Corn is not an option. Trust me in this... --Bill -- Who took my .sig?
In some bacon article Suzanne(tm) Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> stated: >In article <Pine.LNX.3.91.951104012822.3398K-100000@crow.cybercomm.net> >Dr. Collosus, indiana@crow.cybercomm.net writes: >>> Why not? >> >>Because! > >Because, Because, Because, Because, Becaaaauuuussse. > >Because of the wonderful things he does! Solly, you mispeeld 'Becasue'. Several times. >Suzanne Schroeder /^JN - The Anti JN - But I'll forgive you. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Oh, Susanna! wrote: :In article :<Pine.LNX.3.91.951104012822.3398K-100000@crow.cybercomm.net> :Dr. Collosus, indiana@crow.cybercomm.net writes: :>> Why not? : :>Because! :Because, Because, Because, Because, Becaaaauuuussse. :Because of the wonderful things he does! You mipelled "becasue." Hope thi helps. :________________ :Suzanne Schroeder Easy for you to say... --Bill, yes Bill -- Who took my .sig?
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >dumass? > >smartass? > >ask falpjack for defs... > >post quest tomorrow... > >EscZZ > >shit > >/shell > >exit > >shit > >Ctrl-Alt-Delete > >Hey!!! > >NO CARRIER...#$@#%%..... Sorry, but the assignment for today was "How to describe your teacher"...oh, wait you have written about your teacher. /^JN - The Anti JN - Who started this post as a Spatch ripoff. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >What's a symmetrical? Is it some kind of diet food? Uhhh...yeah. >What is a tjo? I saw one when I was visiting dot ess ee >this morning. Hey, I hope you were careful and used protection, I heard that Dotesse had some strange diseases, like the one that makes you talk Swedish... >--Bill Where? >-- >Who took my .sig? Damn that Who. I've heard a lot about him but I've never seen him. Apparently he's a pal of What and Idontknow. They play on the same team. Sock /^JN - The Anti JN - And by the way, Tjo is a short form of "Your servant" -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ Reynolds, dammit) wrote: : It's me! Russ. You know. The guy that disappeared for 3 1/2 : years in a swamp in Florida and re-emerged to find : alt.stupidity a very busy place indeed. Um. No offense or anything. Your business, after all... But were you a victim of Florida Mind Control? --Bill (just wondering) -- This .sig is still under consTpuction. (A word I'd seen in Flapjacks's .sig a few weeks ago.) Gesundheit. Oink. Sock. POP! "Hey, papa! Gig that big frog!" "I ain't yer papa, boi." "Huh? (tm)" Here's a [ ].
I published a message in one of the more serious news groups and forgot to change my .sig. --Bill -- I used to have a .sig, but Ross, yes Ross stole it.
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : I published a message in one of the more serious news : groups and forgot to change my .sig. : --Bill : -- : I used to have a .sig, but Ross, yes Ross stole it. And, being a devout Ross-copier, I'll be forced to do the same. Pity. --Sarah -- I used to have a .sig, but Ross, yes Ross stole it.
quoth linda <linda@world.net>: >I would like to be an insect so that i could climb on da flowers >and eat their nectar and then get caught in a fan and go "whiiiizz" >forever and ever and ever.... Or at least until someone turns the fan off. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth fs5a182@rzaix04.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial): >It's funny you should mention that... I'm learning about that in my history >class this week: The Luftwaffe would throw live pigs from their planes over >the city they were attacking. Before they could reach the ground, however, >the pigs would fry in the atmosphere, which the Germans had previously >enriched with high-density flouride. The end result was that the people on the >ground were either smothered to death by large slabs of bacon, or they were >blessed with a tasty sandwich-ready treat... AND WHAT A TASTY, CRISPY WAY TO GO, TOO! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth Blue Wakadu <indiana@crow.cybercomm.net>: >My Grandfather was killed in WWII by a german squirrel platoon, they were >flying squirrels. He never saw it comming. Please do not kid about >this, this is serious. That must be what "99 Luftballoons" really means. 99 flying squirrels, they hate Rocky and da moose. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy): ><In article <47an1p$sbm@freenet.vcu.edu> pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes: ><Hero of the Stupid > Who? FLASH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! HE'LL SAVE EVERY ONE OF US! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Cagey (kurtg@desperado.enigma.com) wrote: : On 5 Nov 1995 02:53:56 GMT, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: : > Chester Karma (fts@cris.com) wrote: : > : In article <478pa6$p3c@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : > : >Chester Karma (fts@cris.com) wrote: : > : >: In article <lost-kitty@fsjaklafskjlafs> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) : > : >writes: : > : >: >>...rich chocolate ovaltine? : > : >: >... rectally? : > : >: ... Ross? : > : >I'm sorry, what? Was that pulleyagerism? I'll sock him if I have to. : > : > : I'll be a Karma and admit it... yes, sock me. Sock me long and hard, morning : > : and night, until your sock can take no more... yes, knock my socks off and use : > : those too. : > : > Ok, stand back, I have the socks ready...... : > : > Aw man, I just don't have the heart for it, look at those rosey cheeks : > and big blue eyes. Aww. Cagey, sock this bastard for me, would you? : Cool! My big chance!!! : sock Not bad. : soCK Oooh, nice form. : <hey, this is fun!> Yeah, it is. : socksocksocksockSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCK Um...Cagey. : SOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCK Cagey. : SOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCK Cagey!!!! : SOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKmwahaHAHAHAASOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCK Get a hold of yourself, man!!!! Oh, I'm sorry to do this, but : SOCKSOckSock..so.. SOCK! : er.. : I got carried away, didn't I? Just a little. : sorry Don't worry about it. : cagey -- who's afraid he blew his big chance Ross--who'd like to reassure Cagey, but will be taking other applications.
In some Anti-JN article, Jesper sed: :>Who took my .sig? :Damn that Who. Yer treading on thin ice... ::I've heard a lot about him but I've ::never seen him. Tommy. Not Apparently he's a pal of What and Idontknow. ::They play on the same team. -- I used to have a .sig, but Ross, yes Ross stole it.
I really bugs me when I'm typing like hell thinking I'm using vi when all of a sudden this damn'd CI$ interface decides to put the screws to me... --Bill -- I used to have a .sig, but Ross, yes Ross stole it.
In article <47jt07$krj@nic.umass.edu>, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: |> quoth kegranro@pineapple (Cagey): |> |> >On 3 Nov 1995 00:21:39 GMT, Suzanne Ē Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> wrote: |> > > In article <4777qt$qkb@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> wright, |> > > wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu writes: |> > > |> > > >Hind brain: Hi Suzaaaannne!! We're glad you're baaaack!! Want to |> > > >plaaay?? |> > > |> > > Who are you? |> |> >Definitely not Russ |> |> >cagey -- who's not Russ either |> |> I'm not Russ neither. Well who the hell is this Russ guy anyways? -Russ, who is having an identity crisis of gargantuan propensity
the stupid one (stupid@gm.edu) wrote: : Hello bitch, : You're going to die! Dihydrogen Monoxide strikes again... Princess WhiteGoat, who just says "no" to liquids
quoth fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial): >Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: >: : Tell me more about this "eat". >: Well, little boy, they were once bigger than Abba. >I wonder if on the Swedish keyboards they have a key for that backwards B, >so that those feisty Swedes can correctly type about their great musical >contribution... Well, why not? If Microsoft can invent a monument to total abject stupidity (a keyboard with a Win95 "start" key) then the Swedes can invent a monument to the only group spawning a hit crooning "Mama mia, there I go again." -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: : quoth John Klopp <klopp>: : >I told a girl to 'shake her monkey maker' she didn't think it was funny. : >i however did. now i am suffering the consequences. : Gee, well, next time tell her to take off all her clothes and jump on you. : I guarantee she and several eyewitnesses will think it incredibly hilarious. Tell her she has bodacious knockers and when she screams obscenities at you tell her you were just kidding. ---Steve !!!!WARNING!!!! Hey! Where's the rest?
quoth fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial): >sdc@teleport.com wrote: >: tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: >: : quoth BER408@ix.netcom.com (Clueless): >: : >I sometimes do, and I enjoy using, in place of raisins, >: : >1/4 cup of finely diced Velveeta on my Post Toasties. >: : >Ummm, ummmm: That's mighty good eatin'. >: : You scare me. >: That's not anywhere as good as sugar and milk on meatballs for breakfast. >But that's nothing compared to sugar and meat on mothballs for breakfast... >Although I prefer Jägermeister and Frootloops m'self, What? No Spaghettios and bourbon? - spatch, who knows the above isn't originally his, and says so to avoid the sock of play jurizm - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "Russ" Reynolds): >In article <47dtfc$jpq@news.mtu.edu>, kegranro@pineapple (Cagey) writes: >|> cagey -- who's not Russ either > Damned straight! Damn straights. Always runnin' around breeding and stuff. oh, wait. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "Russ" Reynolds): >In article <47dtfc$jpq@news.mtu.edu>, kegranro@pineapple (Cagey) writes: >|> cagey -- who's not Russ either > Damned straight! Damn straights. Always runnin' around breeding and stuff. oh, wait. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth sdc@teleport.com (): >Russ "Yankee Doodle" Reynolds (russ@acs.bu.edu) wrote: >: Great American Inventions: >: 1) The Banjo >: 2) Pizza delivery >: 3) Spam >But I don't think the three have ever been in the same room all at once. You've obviously never been to one of my parties. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright): >In article <DHFGvq.4uF@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> >Neil Diamond writes: >> "Mr.Scrogg" <u3129061@au.ac.th> writes: >> >I would like to warn everyone that Barry Manilow >> >and Neil Diamand are closet nose beepers and at no >> >time in this millenium should one ever acccept the >> >offer of a lift if you happen to be walking on the >> >road and they happen to pass by.! >> >> >> Cracklin' Rose you're a store-bought woman, >> But you beep my nose like a guitar hummin', >> So hang on to me girl, >> The song keeps runnin' on... >> >> Beep it now, beep it now, beep it now, my baby... >I been walkin these streets so long >Beepin the same old song >I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of beepway >And I dream of the beeps I'll do >With a beepway token and beeper tucked inside my shoe >There'll beep a load of beepromising >On the beep to my beeprizon >Beep I'm gonna beep where the beeps are beeping on me! >Like a beep beep beep beep!! >Beeping beep on a beep in beep-spangled beepeo!!! Oh, Grover, You came and you took without paying... -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >quoth limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil): > >>Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >>: Ross at bu.edu or somewhere sed: > >>: Dammit Ross, George Reeves spent his life fighting the >>: mole people. He didn't give a damn about politicts! > >>And that's why he jumped out the window--couldn't handle the dichotomy. > >Actually, he was tanked on Cuervo and thought he was still Superman. Hmmm... I've done the same once, only I thought I was the waterman and spent the next four hours in the shower. >Sad life. Sad wife. /^JN - The Anti JN - Or happy wife, depending on what she got when he died. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
quoth mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach): >Although the Moon is smaller than the Earth, it is much farthur away. If the sun were hollow, a million Earths could fit inside, and yet, the sun is only a middle-class star. - spatch, guess the song and win a prizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
\|/ -POP- Hi! /|\ William Wilkinson (wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com) wrote: : \|/ : -POP- Hi! : /|\ : Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: : :"Oh how can you be..." : "...in two places at once..." "...when yer not anywhere at AAALLLLL!" : :--Bill : :-- : :This .sig is once again under construction. Note who's name : :doesn't get mentioned. I'd install a fence but I'm limited to : :four lines. (Thanks anyway, Anti-JN.) : --Bill : -- : wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause. : Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at: : http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm --Bill -- wxwilki@lookout.ecte.uswc.uswest.com | To be is to do -- Hegel They're my opinions, not your's or | To do is to be -- Marx anybody else's (well, maybe). | Do be do be do -- Sinatra
In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: >: quoth nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger): > >: >I'd watch it. > >: I'd tape it. > >I'd buy the action figures. I'd buy My Size Barbie...ehh...perhaps not. >Ross--who still loves his play-doh suicide machine factory. /^JN - The Anti JN - Watching too much cartoon channel. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : In article <47lp0g$1so@news.bu.edu> : limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : > Cagey (kurtg@desperado.enigma.com) wrote: : > : > : Cool! My big chance!!! : > [Cagey's sock stuff socked] : > : > : I got carried away, didn't I? : > : > Just a little. : > : > : sorry : > : > Don't worry about it. : > : > : cagey -- who's afraid he blew his big chance : > : > Ross--who'd like to reassure Cagey, but will be taking other applications. : Okay, let me try. : Let me warm up first. 'kay : Do re mi fa so la ti are we ready yet, Mr. Flapjack? : (shake shake) Mr. Flapjack please, we have a lot of people to see today. : big black black bugs bleed blue black blood Can we please get started? : Okay, I'm ready: It's about time. Go ahead, Mr. Flapjack. : STOCK! ug : D'oh! : Can I try again please? ahem : Please? NEXT! : flapjack-who had the same thing happen at that damn Brady Bunch : audition. . . "I'll go ask my sister, Martian." Good grief! Ross--who's pretty sure it was Martian in the first draft, but then the writer got a new correction ribbon.
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >quoth fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial): > >>Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: >>: : Tell me more about this "eat". >>: Well, little boy, they were once bigger than Abba. > >>I wonder if on the Swedish keyboards they have a key for that backwards B, >>so that those feisty Swedes can correctly type about their great musical >>contribution... Actually, we just stand on our heads when typing it. Or flipping the monitor upside-down. >Well, why not? If Microsoft can invent a monument to total abject stupidity >(a keyboard with a Win95 "start" key) then the Swedes can invent a monument to >the only group spawning a hit crooning "Mama mia, there I go again." One URL: http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/dat/sounds/tobatoba.au One description: Mamma Mia, Indy style! /^JN - The Anti JN - I _love_ that version!!! Toba toba, tek a mina hana. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Because we have snow. Duh! Melissa -- "Life unwinds like a cheap sweater, but since I gave up hope I feel a lot better." --Steve Taylor, "Since I gave up hope I feel a lot better"
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >quoth russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "there he goes again" Reynolds): > >> At 1:00pm, Saturday, 11 November I will plop $100 down on the bar >> and announce for all to hear that "The next 10 idiots to walk through >> that door get a drink on me". Be one. Oh well, if I start walking now, I'll get there about the 12th. October. But if you could email me a drink I'd gladly down it to your good health. >To get more people, you should announce that the next 10 idiots to walk >through the door will get to be on you. Get to be a drink on Russ? >That might make things more interesting. Hmmm...I wonder... ... . . . ... Nope. Lost it. >Imagine what would happen if a >sorority suddenly spontaneously all together walked in right afterwards. All together now! All together now! Kiss that naked sorority cow! Oups. Sorry. I seem to be really lacking in context (Chomsky2) and intelligence (CEA). Sorry. /^JN - The Anti JN - My body is still working but my brain is home in bed. Bye. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >quoth russ@acs.bu.edu (Russ "Russ" Reynolds): >>In article <47dtfc$jpq@news.mtu.edu>, kegranro@pineapple (Cagey) writes: > >>|> cagey -- who's not Russ either > >> Damned straight! > >Damn straights. Always runnin' around breeding and stuff. Damn straights. If it hadn't been for them, Exxon would only be associated with bad language and not oil slicks. >oh, wait. /^JN - The Anti JN - Tom waits. For about 10 minutes. Then he gives up. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Hello, people-type thingies! This was a Morrissey song, but don't stop reading now! I reworked it. It used to be called "Now, My heart is full." "A Chair's been reduced to rubble The whole house will need rebuilding. And everyone I know, will be passed out around the living room couch quite soon. Your dorky friend plays his collection of Foreigner's greatest hits which empties the room. Tell all of John's friends. And the friends of Sammy, to stay away from the fine washables of my mother. Darryl, Darryl, Larry, Kermit All Night Bingers, Never Sober. And I'm getting wasted again A beer again, a beer again, And now my bladder's full. Now, my bladder's full. And I don't have time to explain Or I'll burst if I try to. Barney Miller, Twinkie, Rhubarb Every beer slamming they get violent. Their back teeth float, they need a dentist Their back teeth float, they need a dentist. Underaged, oversexed relations "Oh, but Cindy, I *love* you." A beer again, A beer again, And now my bladder's full. Now, my bladder's full And I don't have time to explain, Or I'll burst if I try to. Oh...."
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >quoth ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy): >>>pford@cabell.vcu.edu (cabbage) writes: >>> You want to know what's runny? My nose. That's runny. >> Then let him out! > >> No, wait... > >> Then you better go and catch it! > >Then why do you wear shoes? Because my feet smell. Noses! /^JN - The Anti JN - You know what? Shoes have souls. sock *ouch* -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
\|/ -POP- Hi! /|\ Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: :"Oh how can you be..." "...in two places at once..." :--Bill :-- :This .sig is once again under construction. Note who's name :doesn't get mentioned. I'd install a fence but I'm limited to :four lines. (Thanks anyway, Anti-JN.) --Bill -- wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause. Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at: http://www.mecklerweb.com/mags/iw/v6n1/letters.htm
<In article <47ukl4$7b2@nic.umass.edu> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes:
<quoth mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach):
<>Although the Moon is smaller than the Earth, it is much farthur away.
<If the sun were hollow, a million Earths could fit inside, and yet, the sun is
<only a middle-class star.
Wow, and all this time I thought this was an upwardly mobile
galaxy.....only middle class?
<- spatch, guess the song and win a prizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz -
Ok. Here I go....
"If the ocean were whisky
And I were a duck,
I'd dive to the bottom
And never come up...
Rye whisky, rye whisky,
Rye whisky I cry!
If I don't get rye whisky,
I surely will die...."
{An early tune about the DANGERS of DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!!}
WHAT do I WIN!?!
Ooh Ooh, Mr Carter! I've got one! Someone called me one day and started saying some really obscene stuff, so I said: "Oh hi, Sean." They hung up really quick! (Actually, I think it would work better if you say: "Hello, Senator.") ________________ Suzanne Schroeder Lizard Queen for a day.
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote:
: tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote:
: : quoth fts@cris.com (Chester Karma):
: : >Tell me about it... yesterday I programmed my microwave to display the
: : >following message on it's console:
: : >"Hi, I'm Bob Vila. Will you have sex with me?"
: : Play jurist! That's what my coffeemaker says in the morning!
: Oh, all right, stand back, Spatch.
: sock
: sigh
: sock--ouch
: ross--the thrill is going
Too much sox can get old. Well so I hear. So why don't you try this one:
Slug! Oooh! Now that's fun. Try it. Pick some poor sucker at random and
give it a try. Should cheer you up.
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
tortess@panix.com (Tortess) busted my guts with: :There was this broken fan in my office, which blows really :forcefully, but has no "low" setting. :I took off the outer protective cage (the wire cover) and :removed one of the blades of the fan. I turned the fan back on. :It vibrated really violently until it jiggled and shimmied right :of the window sill and onto the floor. :It broke. :So I picked it up and threw it out the window. It made a huge :crashing sound when it landed on the trunk of a car parked 22 :stories below. :Now I don't have that problem where the fan blows too forcefully :anymore. :Hope this helps all those with a similar problem. :-- :Gesundheit. My nomination for the funniest Tortessism of 1995... --Bill
YOU will: Tape every episode of Full House and laugh your ass off at them. Discuss the finer points of Java. Stay at home planning for the return of JFK on the Holy day in November. Dress up like Captain Kirk, go to the mall, and search for Spock. Drive in Austin traffic. Demand the release of Gene Roddenberry. Read the National Enquirer and believe every story. Believe that Tom Servo and Crow are real robots while believing Gypsy is the impostor. Draw a picture of Jim Morrison and talk to it because it's the only thing that can understand you. Bob for fries in the fry vat at Mc Donalds. Believe that I am the Lizard Queen and worship me as such AND you will be kind to all the lizards in this world. (but, I'm actually..) _________________ Suzanne Schroeder BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
In article <4839an$9k2@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu> I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN! <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> writes: > YOU will: > > Tape every episode of Full House and laugh your > ass off at them. > (other commands snipped) > > Believe that I am the Lizard Queen and worship me as such > AND you will be kind to all the lizards in this world. > > (but, I'm actually..) > > _________________ > Suzanne Schroeder > > BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Will. . .to. ..resist. . .fading. . .must. . . tape. . . before I. . .miss. . . opening. . credits. . . Dammit! I knew I shouldn't have let Suzanne talk me into drinking all that fluoride. Look! It's the episode where Urkel makes a guest appearance! flapjack-who would have taped that one anyway -- This post not available in Fairfield County "Aristotle was such a. . . idiot he was like: 'Reah! I'm a philosophah!" --Abe Smith http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html (it beats suicide)
A few months ago, Spatch posted something about reading a book on Internet newsgroups where alt.stupidity was listed as one of the "fringe" groups. It doesn't seem that way to me. I think stupidity is normal. If we're "fringe," then what is over the edge? Today, I stumbled across a group, predominated by Aussies, called alt.smoldering.dog.zone. What does it take to start your own froup nowadays? --Bill (on the lighter side, i also found a group called alt.home.repair with the tag line "bob vila would love this group.") -- "News groups. Ya can't live with 'em & ya can't live with 'em." (An original quote from Bill Wilkinson. If Ross steals this, he's forced [***!!!!BY HIS OWN ETHICS!!!!***] to sock himself.) NYAH!
Da Big Swede sold me dis 12 cm field gun, but no ammo or shoulder holster. Boise's Bullet Barn is closed today. Need advice. --Bill -- "News groups. Ya can't live with 'em & ya can't live with 'em." (An original quote from Bill Wilkinson. If Ross steals this, he's forced [***!!!!BY HIS OWN ETHICS!!!!***] to sock himself.) NYAH!
In article <482e4j$3vg$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: > Da Big Swede sold me dis 12 cm field gun, but no ammo > or shoulder holster. > > Boise's Bullet Barn is closed today. > > Need advice. > > --Bill Ooo! ooo! I'm sure we could rig up something with a fuel injector and spark plug out of that old Volkswagen that would provide quite gratifying results. And duct tape of course. As to the shells, I propose we practice our aim using quart cans of day-glo orange paint. Although we're going to have to saw the barrel to fit it in a shoulder holster. Should we do that before or after? How much ground clearance do you need? Duct tape would suffice as well for a temporary shoulder holster. Shall I pull it off fast or slow? -gw
I just want everbody to know that if you're down with P, then you're down with me. And if you're friends of P, then you're friends with me. - spatch, who-hoo-hoo-hoo - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth SuzanneĒ Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu>: >In article <47mdn4$kkb@frodo.smartlink.net> wet and sticky panties, >jrambolt@ix.netcom.com writes: >>Because why? >Try Bud Dry. Friends of P, Friends of P. - spatch, who's got that damn song stuck in his hed - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>: >tortess@panix.com (Tortess) busted my guts with: >:There was this broken fan in my office, which blows really >:forcefully, but has no "low" setting. >:I took off the outer protective cage (the wire cover) and >:removed one of the blades of the fan. I turned the fan back on. >:It vibrated really violently until it jiggled and shimmied right >:of the window sill and onto the floor. >:It broke. >:So I picked it up and threw it out the window. It made a huge >:crashing sound when it landed on the trunk of a car parked 22 >:stories below. >:Now I don't have that problem where the fan blows too forcefully >:anymore. >:Hope this helps all those with a similar problem. >:-- >:Gesundheit. >My nomination for the funniest Tortessism of 1995... But she says "Gesundheit." with every post, Bill. It's called a .sig. Don't you know what a .sig is? -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
How much vacuum will a one-gallon jug hold? Thanx in advance. --Bill -- wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com - Searching for the lost cause. Check out my Totally Inane Home Paragraph at: http://www.mecklerweb.com/iw-online/Jan95/letters.htm
In article <482e4j$3vg$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes:
|> Da Big Swede sold me dis 12 cm field gun, but no ammo
|> or shoulder holster.
|>
|> Boise's Bullet Barn is closed today.
|>
|> Need advice.
|>
|> --Bill
12cm!?! Wow!!! Where can I get one?
-Russ, who was gonna go to McDonald's anyways
|> --
|> "News groups. Ya can't live with 'em & ya can't live with 'em."
|> (An original quote from Bill Wilkinson. If Ross steals this,
|> he's forced [***!!!!BY HIS OWN ETHICS!!!!***] to sock himself.)
|> NYAH!
Ross has no ethics, but don't tell him I said that...
--
russ@bu.edu - russ@it.bu.edu - russ@acs.bu.edu
"Who the hard-boiled frog manure cares enough to give a broken penny?"
-Vasos Panagiotopoulo (vjp2@dorsai.org)
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >quoth Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>: > >>the lizard queen @somewhere.utexas provoked: > >>:In article <481eac$cus$1@mhafc.production.compuserve.com> Bill >>:Wilkinson, 70325.1137@CompuServe.COM writes: > >>:>When I finally get a home page, it will really be stupid. > >>:Of what? The person letting you have one? > >>YES! OF COURSE!!! > >NOTE TO WHOEVER WILL BE BILL'S SYSADMIN WHO GIVES HIM A WEB PAGE: > >Don't let him near cgi-bin. YEAH! BILL'LL ONLY DRINK IT ALL UP!!!!!!!!111111111!!!11 Oh....ehh...sorry. >- spatch, practicing better living through perl - eval 'print "Orgastic sigh.\n"'; /^JN - The Anti JN - Living better perl through practicing. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <483fhv$d1h$1@mhafn.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes:
|> brain fried
I know how ya feel Bill, I know how ya feel..
-Russ, who is gonna have to reboot RussOS soon
--
russ@bu.edu - russ@it.bu.edu - russ@acs.bu.edu
"Belching buzzards of brick & doom, Rambling rivets of racoon,
I smell the carcass of a dead baboon!"
-Vasos Panagiotopoulo (vjp2@dorsai.org)
In article <47gdlo$d2m@charm.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>, nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: |> |> Tell me more about this "eat". It's a UNIX command. Short for "Establish Another Thread". -Russ
<In article <487v8m$mi0@borg.it.uswc.uswest.com> wxwilki@borg.uswc.uswest.com (William Wilkinson) writes: <How much vacuum will a one-gallon jug hold? Depends on how tight you compress the vacuum before putting it into the jug, obviously. As you know, compressed vacuum weighs less than regular vacuum, so if you compress too much vacuum into your one-gallon (or two liter...) jug, it would weigh nothing. Compress still more and....hmm. In fact, the special tank cars that certain railroads have for shipping compressed vacuum around to the companies that make CRT's, thermos bottles and so forth are required to have extra mass in the form of lead slugs on the chassis, since there's so much vacuum compressed in the tank that otherwise the whole car would float away. The Germans tried to get compressed vacuum from us during the 1930's, but we were too busy putting it into vacuum tubes and so they had to use hydrogen for the Hindenburg instead of compressed vacuum. The fire at Lakehurst would have been clearly impossible if the Hindenburg used compressed vacuum. I think that, with the advent of flat panel displays, the compressed vacuum industry is going to have to diversify; already they are test marketing pre-fabricated post-holes, and with new advances in micro-vacuum techniques they hope to soon produce bulk packs of holes to dope "N" type semiconductors. <Thanx in advance. Yer certainly welcome, and a tip of the hat to the Miranda Street Recluse for his help, without which the above would not have been possible.
quoth fs5a182@rzaix04.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial): >This reminds me of the time that I asked my Japanese friend how to say "Hello >Kitty" in Japanese, and the closest thing we could come up with was something >that translates literally to "Hello Snack"... >ah... Sanrio... the stationery that's also a snack... Sangria, you came and you took without giving... >I'll never watch a Meow Mix commercial in the same way again... Can't you just hear the cat trainers now? "Awright, you stupid Persian longhair, either you sing IN SYNC with the other cats today or you'll be a Japanese delicacy tomorrow!" >--Princess "Konichiwa, Oyatzu" WhiteGoat - spatch "hotashiwa pianodes" - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth John.P.Holton@uwrf.edu (Sign): >In article <481cu2$ec3@vassun.vassar.edu>, nosmith@vassar.edu says... >> >>In article <480f06$sf5@news.ycc.yale.edu> >>alopez@minerva.cis.yale.edu (Anthony A Lopez) writes: >> >>> No, it's the cool licinse plate slogan: >>> >>> EAT CHEESE OR DIE >>> >> >>Is there any truth to the rumor that, in a contest for the Wisconsin >>state motto, a finalist was "Come Smell our Dairy Air?" >I think it probably was. Personally, I like the one I thought of: "If >it ain't from Wisconsin, it ain't cheese." I just came up with one. "Wisconsin. We're a state." >Melissa Hey, you said you were John.Urfh.Lala or something! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) blithered:
> quoth Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>:
> >tortess@panix.com (Tortess) busted my guts with:
> >:There was this broken fan in my office, which blows really
> >:forcefully, but has no "low" setting.
[snippage of tortess' fan storeeee]
> >:Hope this helps all those with a similar problem.
> >:--
> >:Gesundheit.
> >My nomination for the funniest Tortessism of 1995...
> But she says "Gesundheit." with every post, Bill. It's called a .sig. Don't
> you know what a .sig is?
you know, spatchie, if people would quit stealing them, he'd probably be able
to remember what they are better.
--beth (going back to lurking now again, because i'm still trying to normalize
...er...well, normalize for ME, after moving halfway across the
country)
> tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square
i'll take Paul Lynde to....block. Yes, definitely to block.
drew k wu (drewk@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: steinman@mbnet.mb.ca (Craig Steinmann)... Tue, 14 Nov 1995 12:33:12
: GMT <48a2cg$hgm@canopus.cc.umanitoba.ca> wrote:
: >Grizzly Adams wrote:
: >For the benefit of those who arrived late........
: >>>>>>There are three kinds of people, those who say the glass is half full,
: >>>>>>those who say it's half empty, and those who say, "Hey, I wanted a
: >>>>>>beer!"
: >>>>>
: >>>>>There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who
: >>>>>can't.
: >>>>>
: >>>>Don't forget those who can spell, and those who cun't.
: >>>
: >>>There are two types of people:
: >>>Those who go from great taste, and those who go for
: >>>less filling.
: >>There are two types of people:
: >>Those who prefer traditional mayonnaise, and those who prefer the
: >>tangy zip of Kraft Miracle Whip(TM).
: >Those who Flic my Bic....
: >And those who don't
: Those who think there are two kinds of people...
: And those who don't.
I can't believe it. You Pleageriatricized from the original post. Not
even members of alt.stupidity are that dumb.
SOCK!
SOCK!
SOCK SOCK SOCK!!!!
SSSSS OOOOOOO CCCCCCC KKKK KKKK
SSSS SSS OOOO OOOO CCCC CC KKKK KKKK
SSSS SSS OOOO OOOO CCCC CC KKKK KKKK
SSSS OOOO OOOO CCCC KKKK KKKK
SSSS OOOO OOOO CCCC KKKK KKKK
SSSSS OOOO OOOO CCCC KKKK KKKK
SSSSS OOOO OOOO CCCC KKKKKKKK
SSSSS OOOO OOOO CCCC KKKKKKKK
SSSS OOOO OOOO CCCC KKKK KKKK
SSSSSS OOOO OOOO CCCC KKKK KKKK
SS SSSSS OOOO OOOO CCCC CC KKKK KKKK
SS SSSS OOOO OOOO CCCC CC KKKK KKKK
SSSSS OOOOOOOO CCCCCCCCC KKKK KKKK
Ross--who feels much better now
spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) said: :NOTE TO WHOEVER WILL BE BILL'S SYSADMIN WHO GIVES HIM A WEB :PAGE: :Don't let him near cgi-bin. Well, one thing I'm certain of... *I* wasn't the one who gave that hard kick in the butt to that Hollywood web page last summer! :- spatch, practicing better living through perl - Wasn't she that old gal that had all the price tags on her clothes? --Bill (who also wonders whatever happened to Cement Boy) -- -- -- -- -- --__ -- -- -- -- --
Deck the halls with poison ivy Fa la la la la, la la la la 'Tis the season to be naughty Fa la la la la, la la la la Break a window, Pop a tire, Fa la la, la la la, la la la Set an old man's house on fire Fa la la la la, la la la la Cheesehead (or the poster formerly known as Melissa Hoffmeyer) -- "Life unwinds like a cheap sweater, but since I gave up hope I feel a lot better." --Steve Taylor, "Since I gave up hope I feel a lot better"
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote:
: Chester Karma (fts@cris.com) wrote:
: : In article <478pa6$p3c@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes:
: : >Chester Karma (fts@cris.com) wrote:
: : >: In article <lost-kitty@fsjaklafskjlafs> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch)
: : >writes:
: : >: >>...rich chocolate ovaltine?
: : >: >... rectally?
: : >: ... Ross?
: : >I'm sorry, what? Was that pulleyagerism? I'll sock him if I have to.
: : I'll be a Karma and admit it... yes, sock me. Sock me long and hard, morning
: : and night, until your sock can take no more... yes, knock my socks off and use
: : those too.
: Ok, stand back, I have the socks ready......
: Aw man, I just don't have the heart for it, look at those rosey cheeks
: and big blue eyes. Aww. Cagey, sock this bastard for me, would you?
Let me do it let me do it!
^Z
$ alias sockchester = "cat /usr/local/spool/news/alt/stupidity/*
| mail fts@cris.com
$ sockchester &
$ sockchester &
$ sockchester &
$ sockchester &
$ sockchester &
$fg %tin
Mwoooh hwooh hooh hwah hah hah!
: Ross--who saw taht coming.
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: :flapjack-who bets you guys feel like you know Abe now Not yet. I'm still wondering if his cat is the one that used to appear on Keylime's "Stupidity" page. --Bill (who's also wondering what the hell happened to keylime) -- Don't you know what a .sig is? --tv's Spatch
In article <48i923$3n9@nic.lth.se>, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) says: > >...don't poke my hontas!!! > > What is a hontas, and why would anyone want to poke it? SRDPB
I am really hungry and need money. I am willing to sell my computer for to buy food. It is a really good computer with a viewing thingy that sometimes has colours and pictures and letters and stuff, and this box that makes a humming sound like theres a fan in it an has cords coming out the back (they scare me!), and these cool slots in the front that are good for holding your cheese slices. And everynow and then these two other thingies make a noise, sorta like music or voices (haunted?). Also, there is this thing called a canon attached to it, but it doesn't look like a canon, and I can't get it to fire anything, but it sometimes does this printing stuff. Anyhow, if I invented it i'd call it a printer, not a cannon. Oh yeah, theres these punchy buttons too. $1,000,000 or best offer. Will perform exorcism before sale. Thanks. SRDPB
In article <nafziger.5.2.00165ED0@osu.edu> nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writes: > > >limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ: > > >>tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: > >>: quoth 100653.3404@compuserve.com: > > >>: >And I thought this was alt.stupidity. > > >>: No, you're wrong. This is alt.stupidity. > > >>Excuse me, could someone please tell me where I could find alt.stupidity? > > >Not here, pal, this is alt.stupidity. > > >- spatch, official tour guide of this newsgroup, which is alt.stupidity - > > We know. Now where do we find it? > Ahem, my book report on alt.stupidity: I have written my book report about alt.stupidity which is the name of the newsgroup about which I have written my report about. The newsgroup (alt.stupidity) is used for the discussion of stupidity which is what we discuss here on alt.stupidity (the newsgroup about which I have written this report about). Many things are discussed here on alt.stupidity (alt.stupidity is a newsgroup) by us and other people who post to alt.stupidity (the newsgroup which has been mentioned). These topics which are discussed on alt.stupidity, the newsgroup, include corn, Bob Villa, poetry, antelope freeways and bacon and other things which are also discussed on the newsgroup, alt.stupidity too. Overall, I liked this newsgroup (alt.stupidity) better than alt.tasteless, which is another newsgroup which this report is not about There! 125 words, I did it! flapjack-who should give some credit to the authors of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" lest Ross sock him -- This post not available in Fairfield County "Aristotle was such a. . . idiot he was like: 'Reah! I'm a philosophah!" --Abe Smith http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html (it beats suicide)
Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote:
: >Yeah... you must be reading the wrong papers... there are always openings
: >for perverts to fill...
: ~groan
: >Princess WhiteGoat - aren't we _all_ really unemployed actors?...
: What about the employed actors? Are they unemployed actors too? I'm
: coufnsed???
Yes they are. This brings up an interesting question that nobody has yet
to talk about in this here thread. So without further adooo...
*How many beers are in a case?
*How many hours are in a day?
Coinsidence? I think not.
---Steve
!!!!WARNING!!!!
You are being video taped for your safety.
In article <48hvls$i02@dunlop.cs.strath.ac.uk> Ian Beveridge CS94, ibeverid@cs.strath.ac.uk writes: >s > >pretty cool huh? Yeah, it's so cool, that I'm thinking about using it in my first and last names! _________________ Suzanne Schroeder
...the vampire killer on TV...and my life hasn't changed. /^JN - The Anti JN - Execpt for the fact that I'll never see that crap again. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
kebranro@salami (Cagey) proclaimed: :...I will have a .sig file :cagey -- still .sigless :--- :soon to be a real .sig Let me tell 'ya, kid...they're more trouble than they're worth! --Bill (kegranro@salami????) -- This .sig is once again under construction. I'd install a fence but I'm limited to four lines. (Thanks anyway, Anti-JN.)
limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote (among others): :How about "Wisconsin: Happy Days was here and we can do cool :stuff like Fonzie did like hitting jukeboxes and um.....some :other stuff that he did, so thumps up for Wisconsin and a big :fat Aaaayyyyy, from the state that never gets behind the times." Strange that you should mention that. I visited a deli today that specialized in imported foods. They didn't have any cheese from Wisconsin, but they did have some from some place called "Denmark." A little tiny chunk of it cost $3. They also had a thin slice of smoked salmon from Norway that cost $7. Jeez. How can those Scandinavians afford to eat? --Bill (the cheese contained the word "light" so i didn't buy it. don't buy cheese that's been stepped on.) -- Don't you know what a .sig is? --tv's Spatch
It's all vanished fish - ...maybe (who's feeling flaked out) ------ new sig. soon awaiting deliveries of inspiration and alcohol, etc... fish@pondlife.demon.co.uk (aka Kev Salmon) "my opinions are probably out of date"
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ:
>nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote:
>:flapjack-who bets you guys feel like you know Abe now
>Not yet. I'm still wondering if his cat is the one that
>used to appear on Keylime's "Stupidity" page.
>--Bill (who's also wondering what the hell happened to keylime)
*sniff* MIA.
And I miss his wacky .WAVs too.
--
tv's Spatch, Sausage King of Chicago and MSTie #43790
"You know your sex life is bad when you go to do the laundry and stay for
the spin cycle." - a young lady who shall remain nameless
Wake up, time to fry: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
mmccall@larry.cc.emory.edu (Malinda McCall) writ:
>I treat Usenet like a huge cocktail party on the verge of anarchy. I
>mean, RIGHT NOW we're all getting along and sharing the dip nicely like
>civilized people, but you never know when someone will drop through the
>ceiling stark naked holding a bunch of bananas.
Sorry, that's just Magnus Mulvquist again. We're awfully sorry and will soon
take up a collection to help pay for the dry-cleaning of the carpet.
--
tv's Spatch, Sausage King of Chicago and MSTie #43790
"You know your sex life is bad when you go to do the laundry and stay for
the spin cycle." - a young lady who shall remain nameless
Wake up, time to fry: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Look what I found in comp.unix.security! Vik is actually being nice and serious and giving someone a [ ]! Damn, the world is changing... In comp.security.unix vkhare@tiger.lsu.edu (Vikram Kumar Khare) stated: >Howard Chang (kchchang@pegasus.rutgers.edu) wrote: >> I'm new system administrator. I found accounts on all my hp systems >> with the id name: bd, and I was wondering if I can just go ahead >> and delete them (they all seem to have root access). Actually, I am >> pretty sure that I saw a couple of aix system with "bd" users too. >> Can someoen tell me the password for those ids? if they're indeed >> the : undocumented backdoor?! >> Please reply by e-mail. thanx. >> c > > Try reading 'Practical Unix Security'. It's got a a great bunch >of scripts which check these things for you. > > Good luck. > >Vik >-- >------------------------------------------------------------------------------ >http://jade.premier finger 'fnord@jade.premier.net' >e-mail to 'vkhare@premier.net' /^JN - The Anti JN - Perhaps I should change too? Nah. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Pour it straight into the glass. Tastes better. Trust me... --Bill -- Don't you know what a .sig is? --tv's Spatch
In some bacon article Paul Robinson <paul@tdr.com> stated: >On 15 Nov 1995 04:59:58 GMT, Brett McInnes <matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg> wrote: >: >: On second thoughts, no it isn't. > >But are you *certain* of that? How would you feel if one day you woke up >and discovered you and everyone else had ceased to exist? Wouldn't you >be embarassed? :) > >I mean, if I discovered that I had ceased to exist, I would be somewhat >upset, I would think other people would, too! How do you know that? Some people might cheer and run around laughing if they discovered that you had ceased to exist. /^JN - The Anti JN - Then again, some people would hardly notice. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
gimona@skypoint.com (Charles Gimon) asked: :Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: :: It is a portrait of an individual known to the world as ;:"Spatch". :Are we talking a United States dime here, or a Canadian one? Spatch is the dime that rolls down the middle of the street when a man is being chased by a hat. Hope this helps. --Bill (hth) -- Don't you know what a .sig is? --tv's Spatch
In some bacon article matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) stated: > >On second thoughts, no it isn't. "Hey, you're getting my underwear cleaning bill, buddy!" (quotes so that Ross wont sock me (or slug me)) /^JN - The Anti JN - Feeling feline. Aaaooowww! How am I looking? -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article lod2@midway.uchicago.edu stated: >Fsssshhhhhhhhhhh. Darn. It went out again. Them M-80s aint much fun in mud... /^JN - The Anti JN - Unless you put them with the fuse up. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Sarah Anderson (sander@netcom.com) wrote: : Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : : I published a message in one of the more serious news : : groups and forgot to change my .sig. : : --Bill : : -- : : I used to have a .sig, but Ross, yes Ross stole it. : And, being a devout Ross-copier, I'll be forced to do the same. Pity. : --Sarah : -- : I used to have a .sig, but Ross, yes Ross stole it. Thanks, Sarah. Here's a sock of your very own. Ross--who's glad someone showed up at that seminar.
quoth jim@kildare.demon.co.uk (Jim Wraith): >Was it wright@blast.bso.uiuc.edu (wright) that said the following?? >)Better than life! >Hmm.. Not as good as 'Thanks For The Memory', but I hold all Red Dwarf >episodes in high-esteem. Even Rimmerworld? >Jim "You'll find me on alt.tv.red-dwarf, any day of the week!" Wraith. - spatch, who got flamed out of alt.tv.red-dwarf for his grammar-meter - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth sdc@teleport.com (): >Put a tilde in your butt >Put a baseball in your butt >Put a boogie in your butt >Put a boogie in your butt butt >Put a lemon in your butt >Put an airplane in your butt >Innn your butt butt >Put a boogie in your butt Ain't no way I'm gonna quote a song about people putting stuff in their butts, man, that's sick. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
And yet again the brave young(ish) female wades through the horrors of alt.stupidity (and other cross-postings) to reach her goal...another 395 articles read, laughed at and cried at. Why do I do it? (Save all my mail for the weekend) Mircalla. --- Weebles wobble but they never fall down, mircalla@cyberspace.org Weebles wobble but they never fall down, mircalla@g6bob2.ampr.org Weebles go round, don't fall down, delirium@nether.net Weebles, weebles, weebles, weebles, weebles, ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk Weebles won't fall down.
When I finally get a home page, it will really be stupid. Count on it. -- "News groups. Ya can't live with 'em & ya can't live with 'em." (An original quote from Bill Wilkinson. If Ross steals this, he's forced [***!!!!BY HIS OWN ETHICS!!!!***] to sock himself.) NYAH!
limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ:
>tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote:
>: quoth fs5a182@rzaix04.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial):
>: >This reminds me of the time that I asked my Japanese friend how to say
>: "Hello Kitty" in Japanese, and the closest thing we could come up with was
>: something that translates literally to "Hello Snack"...
>: >ah... Sanrio... the stationery that's also a snack...
>: Sangria, you came and you took without giving...
>Triple Sec, you gave me a cat witout spaying....
Oh, Cuervo, you gave me a worm which is turning...
--
tv's Spatch, Sausage King of Chicago and MSTie #43790
"You know your sex life is bad when you go to do the laundry and stay for
the spin cycle." - a young lady who shall remain nameless
Wake up, time to fry: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: :In some bacon article lod2@midway.uchicago.edu stated: :>Fsssshhhhhhhhhhh. Darn. It went out again. :Them M-80s aint much fun in mud... Try an M-60... --Bill (who once discovered that M-16s ain't much fun in mud, either)
In article <48ln8o$7v@maureen.teleport.com>, sdc@teleport.com () writes:
|>
|> Yes they are. This brings up an interesting question that nobody has yet
|> to talk about in this here thread. So without further adooo...
|>
|> *How many beers are in a case?
Not enough.
|> *How many hours are in a day?
Not enough.
|> Coinsidence? I think not.
Saaaayyyy, I think you're onto something here...
-Russ, who's suddenly suspicious
--
russ@bu.edu - russ@it.bu.edu - russ@acs.bu.edu
"Can't you me creative without becoming obscene?"
-Vasos Panagiotopoulo (vjp2@dorsai.org)
Russ "Owsley" Reynolds (russ@acs.bu.edu) wrote: : In article <48ncfe$n08$2@mhadf.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: : |> mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) wrote: : |> : |> :...and Bacon (with 'shrooms)! : |> : |> Huh? : I prefer DiLysergicEthylAmide : -Russ, and his little purple pyramids Wait a minute...is that water? 'Cause if it is, then it's darned funny. Ross--who just can't get over it.
sockdc@teleport.com wrote:
: Ian Beveridge CS94 (ibeverid@cs.strath.ac.uk) wrote:
: : s
: : pretty cool huh?
: No.
: And now it's time for a song. Don't let Ross read this anyone cause I
: just know he'll try to sock me. (but I'm too quick.)
You gotta come this way sometime
SOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOC
Quick enough to walk through a wall of socks? I think not. But just in
case, I'll lay some mines.
: Hghmm ghmmm
sock
: b is for sock bacon
: dat's gosockod enuf for mee
: b is for bacon
: dat'sock gooosocksocksockd enuf for me
: b is for baconSOCK
: dat's gooodsock enuf for meeeee
: ohhh bacon bacon bacon starts with SOCK
: Uhm sock hmm...
Ross--who's pretty sure he got him.
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: :In some bacon article matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) :stated: :> :>On second thoughts, no it isn't. :"Hey, you're getting my underwear cleaning bill, buddy!" Now, waitaminute! I'm not yours to give away! Besides, I clean only my own underwear! :(quotes so that Ross wont sock me (or slug me)) Ross, sock him. --Bill (well, gotta roll up my shorts)
Anti JN writes: >"Hey, you're getting my underwear cleaning bill, buddy!" Not, we want mcgyver's underwear. Nothing less will do.
In article <48u2vs$mj8@newsbf02.news.aol.com> copywolf@aol.com (Copywolf) writes: > The worst luck is brought on by saying the name of the play in question > while in a theater. Hence, it is generally referred to as "The Scottish > Play." Acually, I've found that the worst luck comes when you stab one of the stage hands and put the corpse in the leading lady's dressing room. I thought she'd think it was funny. flapjack-who can't tolerate unprofessionalism -- If you'd like a transcript of this post, I'm really flattered. "He's pretty buff for a Vice President"--Eric Burnham Very little has changed at: http://students.vassar.edu/nosmith/nosmith.html
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: > >:In some bacon article lod2@midway.uchicago.edu stated: >:>Fsssshhhhhhhhhhh. Darn. It went out again. > >:Them M-80s aint much fun in mud... > >Try an M-60... "I'd buy _that_ for a dollar!" >--Bill (who once discovered that M-16s ain't much fun >in mud, either) No but the Karl Gustaf -45 is. 9mm machinegun with less moving parts than a jojo. Almost. Damn they're nice. /^JN - The Anti JN - Who used one all through his military service. Almost. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: : :In some bacon article matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) : :stated: : :> : :>On second thoughts, no it isn't. : :"Hey, you're getting my underwear cleaning bill, buddy!" : Now, waitaminute! I'm not yours to give away! Besides, I : clean only my own underwear! Right, that's why you're the "underwear cleaning bill" Bill. : :(quotes so that Ross wont sock me (or slug me)) : Ross, sock him. Well...ok. Duck, Bill. SOCK! : --Bill (well, gotta roll up my shorts) Ross--who's sorry to the anti-jn, but he has no will of his own.
yusuf921@goshawk.csrv.uidaho.edu (Syed Ysuf) wrote to someone: :> On second thoughts, no it isn't. :prove it :) :-- : O O : <|\ -/> : /~>o /~< Magnus? Anti-JN? Could one of you take care of this? I'm kinda busy at the moment. --Bill
Yep. Lost it. --Bill (haf 'ta repair my stereo system.)
In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: > >: :In some bacon article matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) >: :stated: >: :> >: :>On second thoughts, no it isn't. > >: :"Hey, you're getting my underwear cleaning bill, buddy!" > >: Now, waitaminute! I'm not yours to give away! Besides, I >: clean only my own underwear! > >Right, that's why you're the "underwear cleaning bill" Bill. And boy, do my underwear need cleaning. Whew! Actually, all my clothes need cleaning, the only clean things I've got is a pair of shorts and a bandana. And concidering that it's almost freezing over here, the shorts are right out. >: :(quotes so that Ross wont sock me (or slug me)) > >: Ross, sock him. Hey! I asked not to be socked! >Well...ok. Duck, Bill. Where? >SOCK! Ouch! >: --Bill (well, gotta roll up my shorts) Better hope it's warmer than in Scandinavia then... >Ross--who's sorry to the anti-jn, but he has no will of his own. Hey! I do have a will of my own! It's just very weak. /^JN - The Anti JN - Feeling well dressed in his bandana and smeggy clothes. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >yusuf921@goshawk.csrv.uidaho.edu (Syed Ysuf) wrote to someone: > >:> On second thoughts, no it isn't. > >:prove it :) > >:-- >: O O >: >>---|-----/------> >: /~>o /~< > >Magnus? Anti-JN? Could one of you take care of this? Ohoya! >I'm kinda busy at the moment. Well hang up and try again later. >--Bill /^JN - The Anti JN - Permanently off the hook. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :In article :<Pine.SUN.3.91.951120212220.27919B-100000@altair.herts.ac.uk> :Mircalla <ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk> writes: :>On Tue, 14 Nov 1995, Jason E. Suggs wrote: :>> In article <480jqb$5j7@news.umbc.edu> thompson sherry :>><sthomp4> writes: :>> >From: thompson sherry <sthomp4> :>> >Subject: Re: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE - the real danger :>> >Date: 10 Nov 1995 22:30:35 GMT :>> >I heard that it only affects roads when the temperature is :>> >above 164 degrees Celcius. :>> What is dihydrogen monoxide? :>Thats like asking, 'what is H2O?' :What is H2O? HUH??? Ask Ross. --Bill (wondering if vikings walked to their destinations)
stephenm@uniwa.uwa.edu.au writ:
>a intellectual newsgroup I see
Upon further reflection, if he
Knew of the folks
Who post here, by yolks
He'd get off the 'puter and flee!
--
tv's Spatch, Sausage King of Chicago and MSTie #43790
"You know your sex life is bad when you go to do the laundry and stay for
the spin cycle." - a young lady who shall remain nameless
Wake up, time to fry: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) stated: : > : >On second thoughts, no it isn't. : "Hey, you're getting my underwear cleaning bill, buddy!" I love it when you talk dirty.
XIn article <48hvls$i02@dunlop.cs.strath.ac.uk> ibeverid@cs.strath.ac.uk (Ian Beveridge CS94) writes: X X s X X pretty cool huh? Yeah, it's ok. I like X better. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
sdc@teleport.com () writ:
>And now it's time for a song. Don't let Ross read this anyone cause I
>just know he'll try to sock me. (but I'm too quick.)
>Hghmm ghmmm
>b is for bacon
>dat's goood enuf for mee
>b is for bacon
>dat's goood enuf for me
>b is for bacon
>dat's goood enuf for meeeee
>ohhh bacon bacon bacon starts with b
>Uhm hmm...
This song is officially pronounced Free-From-Socking, amnesty, et cetera.
Woo.
--
tv's Spatch, Sausage King of Chicago and MSTie #43790
"You know your sex life is bad when you go to do the laundry and stay for
the spin cycle." - a young lady who shall remain nameless
Wake up, time to fry: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
sdc@teleport.com wrote: : Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : : sockdc@teleport.com wrote: : : : And now it's time for a song. Don't let Ross read this anyone cause I : : : just know he'll try to sock me. (but I'm too quick.) : : You gotta come this way sometime : : Quick enough to walk through a wall of socks? I think not. But just in : : case, I'll lay some mines. : Hah! Not a problem d00dZ! : - t e : - S v : - O C e : S K : \|/ : SOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCK -POP- SOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCKSOCK : S /|\ : W O ! : ! C K : ! ! A I G ! ! : y ! R N N e d ! : o u a i d p y . : r e b e v e o a e : f r y in g t f t : o o u r s a Um, d'oh? Ross--who doesn't want to play bey Steve's rules anymore, so maybe he can catchi him by --sock!--suprise.
tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: : Garth_Walker@pop.com (Garth Walker) writ: : >NTAHLECHAPP NTAHLECHYAPP NTAHLECHYAPP NTAHLECHAPP : Hey, you know something? : If you re-arrange the letters in NTAHLECHYAPP, you get SASKETCHEWAN. That's not a spoonerism. : Wow! Ok, that is. Ross--who's a palindrom.e.
Anti-JN wrote: :>--Bill (who once discovered that M-16s ain't much fun :>in mud, either) :No but the Karl Gustaf -45 is. 9mm machinegun with less moving :parts than a jojo. Almost. Damn they're nice. Is a "jojo" kinda like a "boo-wah?" --Bill (who once thought alt.stupidity was now a kinder and gentler froup) -- Music.
capitalism is evil! making all those poor little letter grow up before they are ready.... for shame! let them grow up on their own, you bullies. i, for one, am a reformed lowercasist. this world would be a better place and our letters would love us more if more people practiced lowercasism. don't you think so? cagey -- who does -- yep, my soon-to-be .sig will be capital-free
In article <493ueo$ja5@nic.umass.edu>, tv's Spatch <spatula@retina.net> wrote: >lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writ: > >>Does it really stand for "Found Off Road Dead?" > >No, it stands for "Need Another Seven Astronauts". I can get them for you wholesale. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
Gardner S Trask (trask@world.std.com) wrote: : ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: : > There are blue M&M's. : > But...are there blue Mento's? : Mentos are a combination of natural herbs from the Far East. Their : healing powers are legendary. Mentos are a natural anti-depresant. : There are never blue Mentos. So are there ginsig Mentos? The kinda that make you really really fresh from one little bitty candy? : Hey, I just thought of a great new Mentos Commercial; : Scene opens: ..... : The Guard gives him the patented "Mentos-authority-figure-begruding-smirk" : and just as he throws the switch says, "Laugh while you can monkey-boy, : haircuts were on the left". 20,000 volts course through our hero as we : fade out the Mentos are glowing in exotic colors. Not bad, but no one speaks in Mentos commercials. Could the guard perhaps deliver a patented "Mentos-laugh-while-you-can-monkey-boy" wink? Ross--who's fresh and full of life.
*do do do doo do do Freakazoid Freakazoid* Mircalla.- awaiting tomorrow with baited breath.. almost.. --- Weebles wobble but they never fall down, mircalla@cyberspace.org Weebles wobble but they never fall down, mircalla@g6bob2.ampr.org Weebles go round, don't fall down, delirium@nether.net Weebles, weebles, weebles, weebles, weebles, ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk Weebles won't fall down.
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ:
>What does Lamont have to do with an umlaut-oh?
Oh, Lamont set out on a chilly night, prayed for the moon to give him light,
He knew he'd travel far that night, before he reached the umlaut-oh,
umlaut-oh, umlaut-oh,
He knew he'd travel far that night, before he reached the umlaut-oh.
--
tv's Spatch, Sausage King of Chicago and MSTie #43790
"You know your sex life is bad when you go to do the laundry and stay for
the spin cycle." - a young lady who shall remain nameless
Wake up, time to fry: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ:
>Yep. Lost it.
In Stupid Lane there is a Magnus selling photographs
Of every head he's had the pleasure to cut
And they talk about Flapjack's butt
In the pouring rain.
Close to the Magnus is a Ross with a big ol' sock
And Bill claims that someone nasty stole his .sig
And the Longest Thread is much too big
In the pouring rain
Got no brain
Stupid Lane is in my head and up me arse
There, just like a good door-slamming farce
I sit and type wurds in
Across the corner someone's masturbating furiously
But no one's watching so it doesn't really matter
And the Tortess is talking to the hatter
(Hey, I had to rhyme.)
Once bad haiku and pollyrayjurism ran rampant
But now the bacon's come and made 'em go away
And Keylime's got nothing else to say
Cause he ran away
O-y vey
Stupid Lane is in my ears and in my spleen
Charlie Sheen and Ben Vereen
(Stole that one from the Brain)
STUPID LANE IS IN MY FACE AND IN YER HEAD
IN YER HEAD
ZOMBIE
ZOMBIE
ZOMBIE
IN YER HEAD
IN YER HEAD
ZOMBIE
ZOMBIE
ZOMBI-E-I-E-I-E-I-O.
- spatch, sorry for the digression at the end, but we had to bring the
glockenspiel player in, he was on contract -
--
tv's Spatch, Sausage King of Chicago and MSTie #43790
"You know your sex life is bad when you go to do the laundry and stay for
the spin cycle." - a young lady who shall remain nameless
Wake up, time to fry: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In some bacon article ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) stated: ><In article <48boui$5et$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: ><spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) said: > ><:NOTE TO WHOEVER WILL BE BILL'S SYSADMIN WHO GIVES HIM A WEB ><:PAGE: > ><:Don't let him near cgi-bin. > ><Well, one thing I'm certain of... *I* wasn't the one who ><gave that hard kick in the butt to that Hollywood web page ><last summer! > > Huh? Ahh yes, the place where you could advertise your own acting talents through a form based page...That page _did_ flip out. ><:- spatch, practicing better living through perl - > ><Wasn't she that old gal that had all the price tags on ><her clothes? > > Yeah! She had a big fat sister named Maxi, right? No, that was "Midi, Maxi and Efti". ><--Bill (who also wonders whatever happened to Cement Boy) > > The superhero with the power to spit cement, right? > > I think he grossed too many people out... Wait a minute! You actually think people would be grossed out by Cement Boy? Damn, how would people have reacted to Sir Poopalot? /^JN - The Anti JN - Damn, that's funny. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >Anti-JN wrote: >:>--Bill (who once discovered that M-16s ain't much fun >:>in mud, either) > >:No but the Karl Gustaf -45 is. 9mm machinegun with less moving >:parts than a jojo. Almost. Damn they're nice. > >Is a "jojo" kinda like a "boo-wah?" Not exactly, no. I happened to write the Swedish spelling of "Yo-yo". You know, "the thing where you can have the shiny thing at the top, and the string down below, or, and this is the clever part, you have the string at the top, and the shiny thing down here where the string used to be." >--Bill (who once thought alt.stupidity was now a kinder and >gentler froup) It is...but only on thursdays! >-- >Music. Gesundheit. /^JN - The Anti JN - Aaaooowww! The string's moving! Hey! Stop that thing! -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
quoth "Leon (Slick) Trotsky" <leon@revkom.com>: >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? Huh! Cha cha cha! >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? Huh! Cha cha cha! >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? Huh! Cha cha cha! >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? Cha cha cha! - spatch, I don't know, this song really won't make any progress on the charts unless you add a driving disco beat - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
quoth Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>: >Zoogz Rift--The Liquid Moamo (moamosan@primenet.com) wrote: >: THE NETSCAPE COMETS ARE COMING DOWN TO EARTH >: TO KILL ME!!! <blink> >-- >-- -- -- >-- -- >-- </blink> Now they're REALLY GONNA KILL YOU!! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and this week's Center Square "They even have Scatman John commemorative Coke cans, available now in stores... does this frighten you as much as it does me?" - Princess Whitegoat Mars needs bagels: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: : <In article <48dq2u$sn7@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : < tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: : < : quoth 100653.3404@compuserve.com: : < : >And I thought this was alt.stupidity. : < : No, you're wrong. This is alt.stupidity. : < Excuse me, could someone please tell me where I could find alt.stupidity? : Try alt.stooopididity instead. Thanks you, it's nice to see that someone around here is willing to help out, unlike that raunchy "Spatch" character I've heard nothing about. Ross--who doesn't know why he's doing anything, when all he wasnts to do is zoom zoom sozzomszooom or something or other and I suppose bacon as well.
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >quoth "Leon (Slick) Trotsky" <leon@revkom.com>: > >>Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >>Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? >>Did you FELCH him afterwards, huh, Mad Scottsman? [ snip chorus 'cause once is enuff to make the point ] I killed him, >Cha cha cha! >- spatch, I don't know, this song really won't make any progress on the >charts unless you add a driving disco beat - And perhaps a couple of weird people dancing to the beat. /^JN - The Anti JN - Cha. Cha-cha. Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <48s6bb$at@oravannahka.Helsinki.FI> abrax@cc.Helsinki.FI (Antti S Brax) writes:
>BTW. Has anyone noticed the deterioration of this newsgroup?
>No one seems to be interested in destroying the dirt anymore...
>--
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Izitso? Well here's to you feller countryman:
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/| (*) (v) |\
X |______/; :\______| X
______________________||__||_.___,_||__||_______________________
-=======================================================================+
*MM
...when Jeffzilla and Papa Lega used to exist... where did they go anyways?! Mircalla. --- Weebles wobble but they never fall down, mircalla@cyberspace.org Weebles wobble but they never fall down, mircalla@g6bob2.ampr.org Weebles go round, don't fall down, delirium@nether.net Weebles, weebles, weebles, weebles, weebles, ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk Weebles won't fall down.
In some bacon article Mircalla Mordenheim <ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk> stated:
>
>...when Jeffzilla and Papa Lega used to exist... where did they go anyways?!
^^^^-Legba
Don't forget Keylime and (l)Laura, vehement sack and Kaj,
Per Harald Myrvang and the Mad Czech, Sarah and Reid,
fish and chips...how we miss them all.
Some people have dropped off, some people have jumped in.
>Mircalla.
/^JN - The Anti JN - And that "William Wilkinson", where did that idiot go?
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
..so little time. --Bill
fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) wrote:
:In article <8oH4eD1w165w@mindvox.phantom.com>, sratte@mindvox.phantom.com
:(Swamp Ratte) wrote:
:> 5 5
:> 5|5 5|5
:> -|- cDc -|-
:> \__loves you__/
:>
:> 12/01/1995
:> "show and prove"
: ^^^^^^^^^^^^
:You misspelled "we actually exist a couple days in the future." HTH.
You mipelled:
- D c 5
5 |c 5
5 |5s o - 5 |
l- e \|/ y | -
\ __ov -POP- u /
1 /|\ 5 __
2 99
"s / 0 /1 v "
o 1 ro e
h w a d
n
p
--Bill (hth)
cagey@grfn.org (cagey) wrote: :Hey! Who said that? : > me Who? :Oh.. ok. It's just Bill Me? Just Bill? Once a saint and still the self-proclaimed Village Idiot of alt.stupidity? : > me ? :Yes, Bill. We know it's you. Certainly not "Eggs" Ackley. : > me Exactly! :Enough already! Not... : > me Nope. :SOCK!! SOCK!! OUCH!! OUCH!! HELP! --Bill -- This isn't a real .sig. It's a cheap imitation of a .sig.
The Bluuuuue Cat (I counted them) <Buxton@sound.demon.co.uk> wrote: :Live or die, man. : /\_/\ : |o -| : =(__*__)= Buxton the Bluuuuue Cat : U Mbx: Buxton@sv.span.com (Internet) Now if (l)Laura, Keylime, Tortess, and a few others would come back. --Bill (your .sig is safe this time, but i can't speak for ross, magnus, nor anti-jn) -- sigless
No wonder they haven't been eating from my damn bird feeder. They've all flown to New and Improved Mexico. --Bill (who was considering duck for christmas dinner)
That's the sound I make whenever I have slain the Jdragon of Jdurisprudence, to re-enter to vortex of void and be hangin' wit da stupids. Yo. S'up? -- Tortess, who's glad to be back, even if only long enough to confirm the absence of any conversations about Bob Vila. -- Gesundheit.
In some bacon article matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) stated: >: -- > >: ;,//;, ,;/ "Come, follow me, " Jesus said, "and I >: o:::::::;;/// will make you fishers of men." >: >::::::::;;\\\ - Mat 4:19 >: ''\\\\\'" ';\ Yes! Fish-kebab! > >: ;,//;, ,;/ "Come, follow me, " Jesus said, "and I >: | +:::::::;;/// will make you fishers of men." >: o--=----->::::::::;;\\\------- - Mat 4:19 >: | ''\\\\\'" ';\ d > /^JN - The Anti JN - Eat sword, fish. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: ><In article <48boui$5et$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: ><spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) said: ><:NOTE TO WHOEVER WILL BE BILL'S SYSADMIN WHO GIVES HIM A WEB ><:PAGE: ><:Don't let him near cgi-bin. ><Well, one thing I'm certain of... *I* wasn't the one who ><gave that hard kick in the butt to that Hollywood web page ><last summer! > Huh? Open forms on a Web page without parsing out HTML commands. Hell, even without resorting to such evil tactics as a single <blink>, it was fun. "It was fun." -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, and now available with Kung-Fu Grip "Yeah, this is good old-fashioned nightmare fuel!" - Crow T. Robot EAT MORE BACON. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Available at all Al's Toy Barn locations in the tri-county area.
In article <DIHLvK.G70@midway.uchicago.edu> lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: > Does it really stand for "Found Off Road Dead?" > You gave an inaccurate acronym for "fnord." Hope this helps. flapjack-who's back and he brought leftovers (as we say in the breast-reduction biz) -- If you'd like a transcript of this post, I'm really flattered. "He's pretty buff for a Vice President"--Eric Burnham Very little has changed at: http://students.vassar.edu/nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <ATAYLOR.95Nov18175029@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: > Well, yer waisting time posting to alt.stupididity when you > could be getting caught up on yer work. > Just like me. Me too. > So I think we clearly are "stoooopid". Me too, but I'm notorious for thinking. You weren't. *MM
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ: >The Bluuuuue Cat (I counted them) <Buxton@sound.demon.co.uk> >wrote: >:Live or die, man. >: /\_/\ >: |o -| >: =(__*__)= Buxton the Bluuuuue Cat >: U Mbx: Buxton@sv.span.com (Internet) >Now if (l)Laura, Keylime, Tortess, and a few others would >come back. The Bluuuuuue Cat is back! Unfortunately, Keylime's gone into hiding (he cleverly hid his homepage under the guise of "The requested URL could not be found), (l)Laura has seemingly found a life, and Tortess is prolly dead again. Pass the crackers. >-- >sigless -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, and now available with Kung-Fu Grip "Yeah, this is good old-fashioned nightmare fuel!" - Crow T. Robot EAT MORE BACON. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Available at all Al's Toy Barn locations in the tri-county area.
In article <ATAYLOR.95Nov18190248@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: >XIn article <48hvls$i02@dunlop.cs.strath.ac.uk> ibeverid@cs.strath.ac.uk (Ian >Beveridge CS94) writes: >X >X s >X >X pretty cool huh? > Yeah, it's ok. > I like X better. >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >-- It works! If you stare at it from a 30cm distance, it looks like there is a very big x made of big xs in the middle of the small xs! *MM
In article <Pine.SUN.3.91.951120220101.27919G-100000@altair.herts.ac.uk> Mircalla <ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk> writes: >And yet again the brave young(ish) female wades through the horrors of >alt.stupidity (and other cross-postings) to reach her goal...another 395 >articles read, laughed at and cried at. >Why do I do it? (Save all my mail for the weekend) >Mircalla. >--- But it's thursday! *MM
<p>In article <49ch4k$7bq@nic.umass.edu> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: <p>ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: <p>><In article <48boui$5et$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: <p>><spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) said: <p>><:NOTE TO WHOEVER WILL BE BILL'S SYSADMIN WHO GIVES HIM A WEB <p>><:PAGE: <p>><:Don't let him near cgi-bin. <p>><Well, one thing I'm certain of... *I* wasn't the one who <p>><gave that hard kick in the butt to that Hollywood web page <p>><last summer! <p>> Huh? <p>Open forms on a Web page without parsing out HTML commands. Wow, that's purty stoopid. HEY! Howcome nobody tole' us stoopididitians, huh? <p>Hell, even without resorting to such evil tactics as a single <blink>, <p>it was fun. <p>"It was fun." You misstyped <H1>"It was <blink> FUN </blink>".</H1> <H3> HTH <H3>
<In article <49dnpq$av0$1@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: <papa@boi.hp.com (papa legba) advised: <:Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: <:: Yep. Lost it. <: The penny? The lane? Search your mind, it should be in <:there. <: -papa <What's a "mind?" A place you get metal stuff from, y'know, like a gold mind, copper mind, silver mind. They also have minds for dirt; land minds.
is back. With a vengeance. A freakin' 200K + file to download every single time someone makes a change to it. And still, they have open forms with no parsing out of HTML whatsoever. Stupidians, this site is RIPE FOR THE KICKING. Should you brave the file and post, remember to outweird what's already been written (kinda sad, really, kinda pathetic, actually.) I know you can do it. Now to infinity -- and beyond! (er, sorry, that wasn't mine.) -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, and now available with Kung-Fu Grip "Yeah, this is good old-fashioned nightmare fuel!" - Crow T. Robot EAT MORE BACON. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Available at all Al's Toy Barn locations in the tri-county area.
In article <ATAYLOR.95Nov19130658@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: > It was around here last week, but now I can't find it, > and I'm getting low on salt and gold coins. You crook! Villain! The Sampo is part of the finnish heritage, and is supposed to be lost 6720 years ago! If you find it again, please send it back to us, and we'll deliver you all the salt and cold goins you'll ever need. Indeed, we will drown you in them. *MM -- who has his insurances in Sampo, but that's a lowlier Sampo.
In article <49d52h$cc5@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage, pford@cabell.vcu.edu writes: > The Sampo! I have the Sampo!!!!!! Then I gave...it....to > Torgoooooooooo........ Oooh. I heard he keeps it where he keeps the crazy bread. Is anyone brave enough to go after it? __________________ Suzanne Schroeder
In article <497b5g$fpb$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) wrote: >:In article <8oH4eD1w165w@mindvox.phantom.com>, sratte@mindvox.phantom.com >:(Swamp Ratte) wrote: >:> 5 5 >:> 5|5 5|5 >:> -|- cDc -|- >:> \__loves you__/ >:> >:> 12/01/1995 >:> "show and prove" >: ^^^^^^^^^^^^ >:You misspelled "we actually exist a couple days in the future." HTH. >You mipelled: > - D c 5 > 5 |c 5 > 5 |5s o - 5 | > l- e \|/ y | - > \ __ov -POP- u / > 1 /|\ 5 __ > 2 99 > "s / 0 /1 v " > o 1 ro e > h w a d > n > p >--Bill (hth) Thanks Bill, it did. I was pretty bewildered with my "sword" in my "hand". *MM
Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <497b5g$fpb$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: : >fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) wrote: : >:In article <8oH4eD1w165w@mindvox.phantom.com>, sratte@mindvox.phantom.com : >:(Swamp Ratte) wrote: : >:> 5 5 : >:> 5|5 5|5 : >:> -|- cDc -|- : >:> \__loves you__/ : >:> : >:> 12/01/1995 : >:> "show and prove" : >: ^^^^^^^^^^^^ : >:You misspelled "we actually exist a couple days in the future." HTH. : >You mipelled: : > - D c 5 : > 5 |c 5 : > 5 |5s o - 5 | : > l- e \|/ y | - : > \ __ov -POP- u / : > 1 /|\ 5 __ : > 2 99 : > "s / 0 /1 v " : > o 1 ro e : > h w a d : > n : > p : >--Bill (hth) : Thanks Bill, it did. I was pretty bewildered with my "sword" in my "hand". : *MM Hey, buddy, the masturbation thread is down the block. Ross--who only knows where it is because he um...he gave a tour, yeah.
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :In article <49b1vj$sgh@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com :(Tortess) writes: :>tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: :>: mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) writ: :>: >Before the dawn of the third age of Man, :>: >fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial) wrote: :>: >>Russ "Going drinking soon" Reynolds (russ@acs.bu.edu) :>: >>wrote: :>: >>: In article :>: >>: <486a25$shr$1@mhafc.production.compuserve.com>, :>: >>: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: :>: >>: |> EGADS!!! :>: >>: HARUMPH! :>: >> baROOOOOOgah! :>: > HTH! :>: Zoinks! :> Gesundheit! : Bang! Blam! O MY GAWD!!! Magnus! You shot Tortess!!!! --Bill
In article <49baqv$qis@nuscc.nus.sg> matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes:
>: --
>: ;,//;, ,;/ "Come, follow me, " Jesus said, "and I
>: o:::::::;;/// will make you fishers of men."
>: >::::::::;;\\\ - Mat 4:19
>: ''\\\\\'" ';\
...aaaaaannddd ZWOPP
,//;, ,;/
|:::::;;///
|:::::;;\\\
'\\\\\'" ';\
Easy catch.
*MM
..alt.suicide.holiday lately and have noticed that the number of posts are becoming fewer and fewer. --Bill
Thus spake fish... > >And it's wet and white. Cold. Freezing. Dead. >fish -- ... maybe >fish - ...maybe Melvan: not a chance! -- Melvan (aka Melissa Hoffmeyer) For a free weekly digest of random insanity, email melissa.c.hoffmeyer@uwrf.edu Farm Macheenery (exploding) Magazine
In article <49avh1$bo$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >No wonder they haven't been eating from my damn bird feeder. >They've all flown to New and Improved Mexico. >--Bill (who was considering duck for christmas dinner) Try this instead: Horse "D'Oeuh" Bacon "Frutti di Porco" Eggs "Ackley" Vin: Château Trueyeti Application Modalée *MM
In article <49d05g$ht5@nic.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >>Anti-JN wrote: >>:>--Bill (who once discovered that M-16s ain't much fun >>:>in mud, either) >> >>:No but the Karl Gustaf -45 is. 9mm machinegun with less moving >>:parts than a jojo. Almost. Damn they're nice. >> >>Is a "jojo" kinda like a "boo-wah?" >Not exactly, no. I happened to write the Swedish spelling of >"Yo-yo". You know, "the thing where you can have the shiny thing >at the top, and the string down below, or, and this is the clever >part, you have the string at the top, and the shiny thing down >here where the string used to be." Be not so selfisk, it's the panscandinavian spelling. (Not so sure 'bout the Danes though.) *MM -- who has not yet got a little cow within him.
Actually I just realised that Anti-Jn has a much better one at the site below http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/funnys/ __________________________________________________ | ___ | | / \ "Whos getting a homepage soon" | | | | __===| | | _ \___/ |__==" _ __ __ __ ___ ___ ____ | | | |___ ___ ___| | | || | / || \ / || __,\ | | | \| |/ | \ \/ ///| || \ \/ / || ___/ | | |_|\ /|_| \ // _ || |\ /| || | | | \_ _/ \//_/ |_||_| \/ |_||_| | | "=====" | |I don't know who's opinions these are but they're | | not Digital Equipment Corporation's | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In article <ATAYLOR.95Nov18190112@gauss.nmsu.edu> Nosy, ataylor@nmsu.edu writes: > What about them that's fond of Not-P? Hey. Don't bring metaphysics into this. _____________________ Suzanne Schroeder
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) chops: :In article <49baqv$qis@nuscc.nus.sg> matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: :>: -- :>: ;,//;, ,;/ "Come, follow me, " Jesus said, "and I :>: o:::::::;;/// will make you fishers of men." :>: >::::::::;;\\\ - Mat 4:19 :>: ''\\\\\'" ';\ :...aaaaaannddd ZWOPP : ,//;, ,;/ : |:::::;;/// : |:::::;;\\\ : '\\\\\'" ';\ :Easy catch. It always impresses me to see someone swing a sword and account for parallax that accurately. --Bill
<In article <vtkk.v1wki.1781.01062AEA@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: <In article <ATAYLOR.95Nov19130658@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: <> It was around here last week, but now I can't find it, <> and I'm getting low on salt and gold coins. <You crook! Villain! The Sampo is part of the finnish heritage, and is <supposed to be lost 6720 years ago! Yeah, but that was Torgo's fault, not mine! Besides, this wasn't one of those big ones, just a little table-top Sampo. <If you find it again, please send it back to us, and we'll deliver you <all the salt and cold goins you'll ever need. Um, I don't need a whole lot of cold coins... <Indeed, we will drown you in them. Such a deal! How can I refuse? <*MM -- who has his insurances in Sampo, but that's a lowlier Sampo. And probably non-glowing...
<In article <49gh0o$36i$1@mhafm.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: <vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: <:In article <49b1vj$sgh@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com <:(Tortess) writes: <:>tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: <:>: mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) writ: <:>: >Before the dawn of the third age of Man, <:>: >fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial) wrote: <:>: >>Russ "Going drinking soon" Reynolds (russ@acs.bu.edu) <:>: >>wrote: <:>: >>: In article <:>: >>: <486a25$shr$1@mhafc.production.compuserve.com>, <:>: >>: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: <:>: >>: |> EGADS!!! <:>: >>: HARUMPH! <:>: >> baROOOOOOgah! <:>: > HTH! <:>: Zoinks! <:> Gesundheit! <: Bang! Blam! <O MY GAWD!!! Magnus! You shot Tortess!!!! Yeah, and he was aiming at that busted fan, too.
Let me see if I can figger this out:
:Nosy:
:<:>Tortess:
:<:Magnus
:<:> Gesundheit!
:<: Bang! Blam!
:
:<O MY GAWD!!! Magnus! You shot Tortess!!!!
:
: Yeah, and he was aiming at that busted fan, too.
No, I can't figger it out. Too many of those strange
smileys.
What was the fan busted for?
Who gave the concert?
Why was Tortess there?
WHO TOOK MY COAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--Bill
--
The following Web page is the disappointment that you expected:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Don't say I didn't warn you.
In article <49iv05$b2g@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu> Suzanne Ē Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> writes: >In article <vtkk.v1wki.1768.00590415@elvi.vtkk.fi> Magnus Mulqvist, >vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi writes: >>What is H2O? >IJKLMN >____________________ >Suzanne Schroeder I nominate that above the Followup o'the Week. Took me 7 seconds to get it. *MM -- whose name is Magnus and who is stoopid.
In article <49iv05$b2g@geraldo.cc.utexas.edu> Suzanne Ē Schroeder <suzsch@mail.utexas.edu> writes: >In article <vtkk.v1wki.1768.00590415@elvi.vtkk.fi> Magnus Mulqvist, >vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi writes: >>What is H2O? >IJKLMN >____________________ >Suzanne Schroeder I nominate that above the Followup o'the Week. Took me 7 seconds to get it. *MM -- whose name is Magnus and who is stoopid.
In article <ATAYLOR.95Nov28163503@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: ><In article <vtkk.v1wki.1779.00F88A52@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi >(Magnus Mulqvist) writes: ><In article <ATAYLOR.95Nov18175029@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) >writes: ><> Well, yer waisting time posting to alt.stupididity when you ><> could be getting caught up on yer work. ><> Just like me. ><Me too. ><> So I think we clearly are "stoooopid". ><Me too, but I'm notorious for thinking. You weren't. > Huh? > I weren't thinking, or I weren't notorious for thinking? > Dang, this is a lot of hard work, since I lost my Sanpo, > and I think (there I go again!) Magnus knows something > about it. > Or maybe not. Well, what can I say? You made me notorious, and if you don't remember it, I can't help, and if you do remember it, you don't need help. But being what I am I tried to make something good of it, and did: after becoming notorious I've been thinking seriously a couple of times, and it's fun when you have the right attitude and "a couple" of beers! *MM -- using the Power.
>In article <ATAYLOR.95Nov24164407@gauss.nmsu.edu>, >ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: ><In article <30b44d38.4190997@news.magna.com.au> hong@magna.com.au (Hong Ooi) writes: ><"Mr. K." <e@sk.net> wrote: ><[...] ><>>I hope this helps more than it confuses. ><>> ><>><llon@chelsea.ios.com> ><>> ><> ><> ><>Now I ask you: ><> ><>What does all this have to do with alt.stupidity? ><> >< I should think your subject line says it all. > > Huh? > ><HIBT? Ah well. >< ><Now, the question is: what does all this have to do with ><alt.religion.kibology? > > There are blue M&M's. > > But...are there blue Mento's? I dunno know, but I heard that if you leave the fruit Mento's out in the sun for a day or two, then ingest them, it's the equivalent to a Peyote trip in the desert. But instead of seeing Indians you see freaky Swedes running around in their underwear, thumbs up and goofy. cabbage: http://metro.turnpike.net/C/cabbage/index.html
>In article <49b62r$4av@panix3.panix.com>, >tortess@panix.com (Tortess) wrote: > > -- Tortess, who's glad to be back, even if only long enough to confirm >the absence of any conversations about Bob Vila. Did somebody say Bob Vila?
Peter Leftwich (pete@cloud9.net) wrote: : Amalga-mangle-ation of Bobs.... Yeah, well don't blame it on me. I never villad, I don't intend to villa in the future, and I don't care if it walks talks or hammers like a villa, Senator, I'm not Bob Villa. : Anyway, dare I ask a serious question of a silly group? Yeah, and then a big rock will chase you like Indiana Jones and you'll have to go back for your whip. Haven't seen that for right near three weeks. : Where would one who is alt.stupid find some sort of real faked : (un)[Official] sort of URL for the Web site(s) for this SuperNESGroup? Try any regular's homepage. Spatch, Flapjack, Anti-JN, and I believe Nazfiger all have good homepages which also include alt.stupdidity info and links to everyone else. Of course Spatch is the god, so you should start there, I guess. : The Clap, c/o that young Kevin Bacon guy in Apollo Troisieme. As opposed to that old Kevin Bacon guy in Footloose. Ross--who punchin' his card.
Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: : <In article <49dnpq$av0$1@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: : <papa@boi.hp.com (papa legba) advised: : <:Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : <:: Yep. Lost it. : <: The penny? The lane? Search your mind, it should be in : <:there. : <: -papa : <What's a "mind?" : A place you get metal stuff from, y'know, like a gold mind, : copper mind, silver mind. : They also have minds for dirt; land minds. And let me tell ya, a land mind is a terrible thing to baste... -Princess WhiteGoat
No reason. Ever since I was a little sprat I wanted to
put that in the subject line.
--Bill (read carefully the following .sig and beware)
--
The following Web page is the disappointment that you expected:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Jesper Nilsson // dat92jni@ludat.lth.se or jesper@df.lth.se