Copyright 1991 Patrick D. Scannell
Used by Permission
SPINOFF SYSTEMS Interoffice Correspondence
Star Date: 2373.668
To: Key Management (See "oxymoron")
Easily Replaceable Employees
From: Colby Stilton, Executive Big Cheese
Subject: Organization du Jour
By now all of you will have heard the rumor that Spinoff Systems is
going to be reorganized, specifically that you are all moving to
Minneapolis and will all report directly to me. This in fact is
only a rumor, in comparison to which the truth is intended to
look almost palatable.
There are two key reasons why we must reorganize at this time:
(1) When our parent company sold us off, they took advantage of
the sale to dump any unwanted Vice Presidents they had lying
around on us, so (heaven forbid we should lay any of them off,
especially me) we have to find something for them to do.
(2) We need to show that our weak performance in the past was due
to mismanagement by our parent company, that we were poorly
organized in the past, and that the old regime had its
head up its agenda.
In the past we have tried a number of organizations:
by Product Line
by Function
by Function within Product Lines
by Height
by Weight
by Geographic Location
by Zip Code
by First Letter of Middle Name
by Bowling Average
by Shoe Size (the most successful reorganization yet)
by Date of Birth
This time we are going to organize by First Letter of Last Name,
an obvious choice which has been hitherto overlooked. That is,
since I have six Vice Presidents to keep busy, you will be
organized as follows:
EMPLOYEES WHOSE LAST ORGANIZATION NAME
NAMES BEGIN WITH
A-Cl "A Through Cl Operations"
Co-Fr "Co Through Fr Operations"
Fu-Ke "Fu Through Ke Operations"
Ki-Mi "Ki Through Mi Operations"
Mo-Ro "Mo Through Ro Operations"
Ru-Z "Ru Through Z Operations"
I have not given the names of the six Vice Presidents here, as I
left them in my other suit. I am quite confident that nobody
cares anyway.
We expect that this new organization will provide a number of
benefits in terms of the smooth operation of our organization.
For instance, since all employees with the same last name will
generally be in the same department, there should be very few
mixups with mail delivery.
There will, of course, be some teething problems. In particular,
since married couples working for the organization will often be
working in the same department (contrary to company policy) both
individuals will be fired effective immediately, just to be fair.
Additional organizational details will be forthcoming. I know
you are all interested in how this affects you and I ask for your
full cooperation as we work to keep you from finding out.
Colby Stilton
Executive Big Cheese
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have
time to hand-correct everybody's postings?
Recently someone called me from one of the "Out on the Floor Offices", an
ethereal place rumored to exist only in hyperspace, populated by mysterious
beings called Users.
She was quite frantic. She was having trouble running a program through the
computer, and her message was clear enough, although rather ill-conceived:
"MY FILES ARE FULL!"
I furrowed my brow, lit a smoke, and explained to her, "Really now, Miss
Butterman, I don't have time for this." I slowly exhaled the menthol vapors as
I stopped her process, crushing any hopes she may have had of ever again seeing
that document she had spent three hours slaving over.
"I was typing this REALLY important letter, and it HAS to be ready in
an hour... there's all this stuff on my screen that I didn't type...
it says something about an error, should I read it to you?"
"No point. Just press return."
"Oh my, it wants my username. Can I restart that where I left off?"
"Not a chance." I drew another puff and tossed the phone aside. It
occurred to me that if I had to hear one more of those whining
complaint sessions, heads were going to roll. Where do you people GET
this stuff? I'm going to tell you what's really going on here. Now
LISTEN UP. I'm not going over this a second time:
Computer
The black box that does your work for you. That's all you need to
know.
Response Time
Usually measured in nanoseconds; sometimes measured in calendar
months. The general rule is: Shut up your complaining about response
time.
Hardware
See "Computer." Again, not your concern.
Software
If we want you to know, we'll tell you about it, otherwise, leave us
alone.
Network
Don't worry about it, we'll take care of it. Use it to send mail
among your half-wit selves, and don't think we won't read it all.
What do you think we do all day? By the way , Butterman... shame
about your mother's Pancreas.
Data
The general rule is: Don't use any data files and if you find any,
delete them before I find out about them. In fact, just stay off the
computer. (See "Response Time")
System Crash
Don't ever call the system manager to tell him you think the computer
is down. Don't call him to ask him when it will be up again. The
more you bother him, the longer it takes.
Downtime
Like I said, don't ask
Uptime
Be thankful for it, use it wisely, and get out of my face
Overtime
Don't be ridiculous.
Vacation
A time during which I don't have to put up with your sniveling. Don't
try calling. There's no point.
Computer Room
Keep out, you're not invited. Don't knock on the door -- don't even
think about it. I broke the phone last time one of you jerks called
me, and I'm not about to replace it. And keep your greasy fingers off
the windows.
My Office
The name says it all... it's mine; stay out.
Your Problems
The name says it all...
Deadlines
The general rule is: Deadlines are not acknowledged by me; they're
not my responsibility. Go tell someone who cares.
Maintenance
a) A valid reason for shutting down the system at any time.
b) Much more important than anything any of you bozos do.
c) Anything I choose to call "maintenance" is maintenance.
Software Upgrades
Far too complex for you to comprehend. If I tell you I'm upgrading
the system, just be quietly thankful. It's for your own good, even if
it does mean extensive downtime during peak hours.
Electronic Mail
I delete it before it's read, so don't bother sending any to me.
Defaults
We like them just like they are; we chose them for a reason. Don't
mess with them; consider them mandatory.
Error Messages
I'm not interested. I'm going to kill your process anyway, so keep
them to yourself.
Killing your Process
a) Don't ever ask why
b) Beyond your control
c) No warnings are given
d) The highlight of my day
e) If you call, it's going to happen. No exceptions.
Passwords
I reserve the right to change them without notice at any time. I choose
them, and the more you bother me, the more degrading yours will be.
(Example: BUTTERMAN: SNOTFACE)
Users
a) They slow down the computer
b) They waste my time
c) A general nuisance
d) Worse than that, actually
Software Modifications
You don't know what you want -- we'll tell you what you want. It stays
like it is. Period.
Privileges
I've got them, you don't need them. Enough said.
Priority
Mine is higher than yours, accept it. That's the reason my games run
faster than your lousy accounting package. (See "Response Time")
Terminals
Before calling me with a terminal problem, consider this:
a) Are you prepared to do without one for weeks?
b) Do you REALLY want your process killed?
c) Did you just trip over the cord again?
d) Of course you did.
Disk Space
I set the quotas, you live with them. If you need more space, check
"Data Files".
Operator
I hired him and I trained him. He does what I tell him to. Usually
armed; always dangerous.
Backups
A good idea if I gave a shit, which of course I don't.
Lunch
The only time that calling my office won't result in the killing of
your process.
Data Security
That's your problem. I'm certainly not going to lose any sleep over
it. My files are locked up tight. I feel secure.
Jiffy
Length of time it takes me to resolve your problem by killing your
process.
Eternity
Length of time it takes me to give a shit about any problem that can't
be resolved by killing your process.
Impossible
a) It can't be done (as far as you know)
b) I can't be bothered
c) You're starting to annoy me
Inevitable
a) Couldn't have been avoided
b) Not my fault (as far as you know)
c) The result of annoying me
Menus
If it's not on the menu, don't ask for it. It's not available. If it is
on the menu, it's probably of no use or it doesn't work. We're working
on it (See "Eternity").
Utilities
I find them quite useful, you'll find them quite inaccessible. Besides,
they're not on your menu, are they. What did I tell you about that?
Nuisance
You.
Of course, I reserve the right to add, change, or remove anything from the
above list. I'm not asking you to accept these matters without question, I'm
telling you.
Now that we all know where we stand, I'm sure there'll be no future problems.
If you have any questions or comments please feel free to keep them to yourself.
If you feel the need for more information, I highly recommend that you ask
someone else
Sincerely,
The System Manager
P.S. The new disk quota of 30 blocks per user became effective yesterday.
Anyone caught exceeding the quota will lose their accounts (this means
you, Butterman!)
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
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Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line. Not "joke."
These are some of the error messages produced by Apple's MPW C compiler. These are all real. (If you must know I was bored one afternoon and decompiled the String resources for the compiler.) The compiler is 324k in size so these are just an excerpt I hope. I'm not sure where I stand on the copyright issue. Tony Cunningham "String literal too long (I let you have 512 characters, that's 3 more than ANSI said I should)" "...And the lord said, 'lo, there shall only be case or default labels inside a switch statement'" "a typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your program" "'Volatile' and 'Register' are not miscible" "You can't modify a constant, float upstream, win an argument with the IRS, or satisfy this compiler" "This struct already has a perfectly good definition" "This onion already has a perfectly good definition" "type in (cast) must be scalar; ANSI 3.3.4; page 39, lines 10-11 (I know you don't care, I'm just trying to annoy you)" "Can't cast a void type to type void (because the ANSI spec. says so, that's why)" "Huh ?" "can't go mucking with a 'void *'" "we already did this function" "This label is the target of a goto from outside of the block containing this label AND this block has an automatic variable with an initializer AND your window wasn't wide enough to read this whole error message" "Call me paranoid but finding '/*' inside this comment makes me suspicious" "Too many errors on one line (make fewer)" "Symbol table full - fatal heap error; please go buy a RAM upgrade from your local Apple dealer" -- Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
How about the IBM PC boot message: "Keyboard not found" "Strike F1 key to continue" Courtesy of a Xerox 1186 :- i) "This window should not be open." ii) "This cannot happen." iii) "Argument is not a non-complex number." Moreover, there is an error code that is defined in the manual as "This can mean anything". And they worry about machines taking over...
In the mid '70's my department used an IBM Algol compiler that had a commonly seen error code, meaning ``program error, compiler error, or hardware error'', with the suggestion ``change your program, or try again''.
KNOW YOUR UNIX SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR-- A FIELD GUIDE
There are four major species of Unix sysad:
1) The TECHNICAL THUG. Usually a systems programmer who has been
forced into system administration; writes scripts in a polyglot of the
Bourne shell, sed, C, awk, perl, and APL.
2) The ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST. Usually a retentive drone (or rarely,
a harridan ex-secretary) who has been forced into system
administration.
3) The MANIAC. Usually an aging cracker who discovered that neither
the Mossad nor Cuba are willing to pay a living wage for computer
espionage. Fell into system administration; occasionally approaches
major competitors with indesp schemes.
4) The IDIOT. Usually a cretin, morpohodite, or old COBOL programmer
selected to be the system administrator by a committee of cretins,
morphodites, and old COBOL programmers.
HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR:
---------------- SITUATION: Low disk space. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Writes a suite of scripts to monitor disk
usage, maintain a database of historic disk usage, predict future disk
usage via least squares regression analysis, identify users who are
more than a standard deviation over the mean, and send mail to the
offending parties. Places script in cron. Disk usage does not
change, since disk-hogs, by nature, either ignore script-generated
mail, or file it away in triplicate.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Puts disk usage policy in motd. Uses
disk quotas. Allows no exceptions, thus crippling development work.
Locks accounts that go over quota.
MANIAC:
# cd /home
# rm -rf `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`;
IDIOT:
# cd /home
# cat `du -s * | sort -rn | head -1 | awk '{ printf "%s/*\n", $2}'` | compress
---------------- SITUATION: Excessive CPU usage. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Writes a suite of scripts to monitor
processes, maintain a database of CPU usage, identify processes more
than a standard deviation over the norm, and renice offending
processes. Places script in cron. Ends up renicing the production
database into oblivion, bringing operations to a grinding halt, much
to the delight of the xtrek freaks.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Puts CPU usage policy in motd. Uses
CPU quotas. Locks accounts that go over quota. Allows no exceptions,
thus crippling development work, much to the delight of the xtrek
freaks.
MANIAC:
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9 | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`
IDIOT:
# compress -f `ps -augxww | sort -rn +8 -9 | head -1 | awk '{print $2}'`
---------------- SITUATION: New account creation. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Writes perl script that creates home
directory, copies in incomprehensible default environment, and places
entries in /etc/passwd, /etc/shadow, and /etc/group. (By hand, NOT
with passmgmt.) Slaps on setuid bit; tells a nearby secretary to
handle new accounts. Usually, said secretary is still dithering over
the difference between 'enter' and 'return'; and so, no new accounts
are ever created.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Puts new account policy in motd.
Since people without accounts cannot read the motd, nobody ever
fulfills the bureaucratic requirements; and so, no new accounts are
ever created.
MANIAC: "If you're too stupid to break in and create your own
account, I don't want you on the system. We've got too many goddamn
sh*t-for-brains a**holes on this box anyway."
IDIOT:
# cd /home; mkdir "Bob's home directory"
# echo "Bob Simon:gandalf:0:0::/dev/tty:compress -f" > /etc/passwd
---------------- SITUATION: Root disk fails. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Repairs drive. Usually is able to repair
filesystem from boot monitor. Failing that, front-panel toggles
microkernel in and starts script on neighboring machine to load binary
boot code into broken machine, reformat and reinstall OS. Lets it run
over the weekend while he goes mountain climbing.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Begins investigation to determine who
broke the drive. Refuses to fix system until culprit is identified
and charged for the equipment.
MANIAC, LARGE SYSTEM: Rips drive from system, uses
sledgehammer to smash same to flinders. Calls manufacturer, threatens
pets. Abuses field engineer while they put in a new drive and
reinstall the OS.
MANIAC, SMALL SYSTEM: Rips drive from system, uses ball-peen
hammer to smash same to flinders. Calls Requisitions, threatens pets.
Abuses bystanders while putting in new drive and reinstalling OS.
IDIOT: Doesn't notice anything wrong.
---------------- SITUATION: Poor network response. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Writes scripts to monitor network, then
rewires entire machine room, improving response time by 2%. Shrugs
shoulders, says, "I've done all I can do," and goes mountain climbing.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Puts network usage policy in motd.
Calls up Berkeley and AT&T, badgers whoever answers for network
quotas. Tries to get xtrek freaks fired.
MANIAC: Every two hours, pulls ethernet cable from wall and
waits for connections to time out.
IDIOT:
# compress -f /dev/en0
---------------- SITUATION: User questions. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Hacks the code of emacs' doctor-mode to answer
new users questions. Doesn't bother to tell people how to start the
new "guru-mode", or for that matter, emacs.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Puts user support policy in motd.
Maintains queue of questions. Answers them when he gets a chance,
often within two weeks of receipt of the proper form.
MANIAC: Screams at users until they go away. Sometimes
barters knowledge for powerful drink and/or sycophantic adulation.
IDIOT: Answers all questions to best of his knowledge until
the user realizes few UNIX systems support punched cards or JCL.
---------------- SITUATION: *Stupid* user questions. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Answers question in hex, binary, postfix,
and/or French until user gives up and goes away.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Locks user's account until user can
present documentation demonstrating their qualification to use the
machine.
MANIAC:
# cat >> ~luser/.cshrc
alias vi 'rm \!*;unalias vi;grep -v BoZo ~/.cshrc > ~/.z; mv -f ~/.z ~/.cshrc'
^D
IDIOT: Answers all questions to best of his knowledge.
Recruits user to system administration team.
---------------- SITUATION: Process accounting management. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Ignores packaged accounting software; trusts
scripts to sniff out any problems & compute charges.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Devotes 75% of disk space to
accounting records owned by root and chmod'ed 000.
MANIAC: Laughs fool head off at very mention of accounting.
IDIOT:
# lpr /etc/wtmp /usr/adm/paact
---------------- SITUATION: Religious war, BSD vs. System V. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: BSD. Crippled on System V boxes.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: System V. Horrified by the people who
use BSD. Places frequent calls to DEA.
MANIAC: Prefers BSD, but doesn't care as long as HIS processes
run quickly.
IDIOT:
# cd c:
---------------- SITUATION: Religious war, System V vs. AIX ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Weeps.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: AIX-- doesn't much care for the OS,
but loves the jackboots.
MANIAC: System V, but keeps AIX skills up, knowing full well
how much Big Financial Institutions love IBM...
IDIOT: AIX.
---------------- SITUATION: Balky printer daemons. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Rewrites lpd in FORTH.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Puts printer use policy in motd.
Calls customer support every time the printer freezes. Tries to get
user who submitted the most recent job fired.
MANIAC: Writes script that kills all the daemons, clears all
the print queues, and maybe restarts the daemons. Runs it once a hour
from cron.
IDIOT:
# kill -9 /dev/lp ; /dev/lp &
---------------- SITUATION: OS upgrade. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Reads source code of new release, takes only
what he likes.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Instigates lawsuit against the vendor
for having shipped a product with bugs in it in the first place.
MANIAC:
# uptime
1:33pm up 19 days, 22:49, 167 users, load average: 6.49, 6.45, 6.31
# wall
Well, it's upgrade time. Should take a few hours. And good luck on that
5:00 deadline, guys! We're all pulling for you!
^D
IDIOT:
# dd if=/dev/rmt8 of=/vmunix
---------------- SITUATION: Balky mail. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Rewrites sendmail.cf from scratch. Rewrites
sendmail in SNOBOL. Hacks kernel to implement file locking. Hacks
kernel to implement "better" semaphores. Rewrites sendmail in
assembly. Hacks kernel to . . .
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Puts mail use policy in motd. Locks
accounts that go over mail use quota. Keeps quota low enough that
people go back to interoffice mail, thus solving problem.
MANIAC:
# kill -9 `ps -augxww | grep sendmail | awk '{print $2}'`
# rm -f /usr/spool/mail/*
# wall
Mail is down. Please use interoffice mail until we have it back up.
^D
# write max
I've got my boots and backpack. Ready to leave for Mount Tam?
^D
IDIOT:
# echo "HELP!" | mail tech_support.AT.vendor.com%kremvax%bitnet!BIFF!!!
---------------- SITUATION: Users want phone list application. ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Writes RDBMS in perl and Smalltalk. Users
give up and go back to post-it notes.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Oracle. Users give up and go back to
post-it notes.
MANIAC: Tells the users to use flat files and grep, the way
God meant man to keep track of phone numbers. Users give up and go
back to post-it notes.
IDIOT:
% dd ibs=80 if=/dev/rdisk001s7 | grep "Fred"
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
OTHER GUIDELINES:
---------------- TYPICAL ROOT .cshrc FILE: ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Longer than eight kilobytes. Sources the
output of a perl script, rewrites itself.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Typical lines include:
umask 777
alias cd 'cd \!*; rm -rf ching *hack mille omega rogue xtrek >& /dev/null &'
MANIAC: Typical lines include:
alias rm 'rm -rf \!*'
alias hose kill -9 '`ps -augxww | grep \!* | awk \'{print $2}\'`'
alias kill 'kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!* ; kill -9 \!*'
alias renice 'echo Renice\? You must mean kill -9.; kill -9 \!*'
IDIOT: Typical lines include:
alias dir ls
alias era rm
alias kitty cat
alias process_table ps
setenv DISPLAY vt100
---------------- HOBBIES, TECHNICAL: ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Writes entries for Obsfuscated C contest.
Optimizes INTERCAL scripts. Maintains ENIAC emulator. Virtual
reality .
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Bugs office. Audits card-key logs.
Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular phone conversations.
Listens to police band.
MANIAC: Volunteers at Survival Research Labs. Bugs office.
Edits card-key logs. Modifies old TVs to listen in on cellular phone
conversations. Jams police band.
IDIOT: Ties shoes. Maintains COBOL decimal to roman numeral
converter. Rereads flowcharts from his salad days at Rand.
---------------- HOBBIES, NONTECHNICAL: ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Drinks "Smart Drinks." Attends raves. Hangs
out at poetry readings and Whole Earth Review events and tries to pick
up Birkenstock MOTAS.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Reads _Readers Digest_ and _Mein
Kampf_. Sometimes turns up car radio and sings along to John Denver.
Golfs. Drinks gin martinis. Hangs out in yuppie bars and tries to
pick up dominatrixes.
MANIAC: Reads _Utne Reader_ and _Mein Kampf_. Faithfully
attends Dickies and Ramones concerts. Punches out people who say
"virtual reality." Drinks damn near anything, but favors Wild Turkey,
Black Bush, and grain alcohol. Hangs out in neighborhood bars and
tries to pick up MOTAS by drinking longshoremen under the table .
IDIOT: Reads _Time_ and _Newsweek_-- and *believes* them.
Drinks Jagermeister. Tries to pick up close blood relations-- often
succeeds, producting next generation of idiots.
---------------- 1992 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION: ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Clinton, but only because he liked Gore's
book.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Bush. Possibly Clinton, but only
because he liked Tipper.
MANIAC: Frank Zappa.
IDIOT: Perot.
---------------- 1996 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION: ----------------
TECHNICAL THUG: Richard Stallman - Larry Wall.
ADMINISTRATIVE FASCIST: Nixon - Buchanan.
MANIAC: Frank Zappa.
IDIOT: Quayle.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
COMPOUND SYSTEM ADMINISTRATORS:
TECHNICAL FASCIST: Hacks kernel & writes a horde of scripts to
prevent folk from ever using more than their fair share of system
resources. Resulting overhead and load brings system to its knees.
TECHNICAL MANIAC: Writes scripts that SEEM to be monitoring
the system, but are actually encrypting large lists of passwords.
Uses nearby nodes as beta test sites for worms.
TECHNICAL IDIOT: Writes superuser-run scripts that sooner or
later do an "rm -rf /".
FASCISTIC MANIAC: At first hint of cracker incursions, whether
real or imagined, shuts down system by triggering water-on-the-brain
detectors and Halon system.
FASCISTIC IDIOT:
# cp /dev/null /etc/passwd
MANIACAL IDIOT: Napalms the CPU.
-Stephan Zielinski
--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
Jokes ABOUT major current events should be sent to topical@clarinet.com
(ie. jokes which won't be funny if not given immediate attention.)
Anything that is not a joke submission goes to funny-request@clarinet.com
Jesper Nilsson // dat92jni@ludat.lth.se or jesper@df.lth.se