Subject: Data Elves (Re: who does it run?)

Date: Fri, 07 Oct 1994 10:45:21 -0500

In article <373jd2$oqv@sundog.tiac.net>, stilwatr@max.tiac.net (Dave
Carhart) wrote:

> Someone at work ask me how the "internet" worked.
> How does (in laymen's term) does a packet know how to get from me@tiac.net
> to you@compuserve.com.

Chris and Steve and Pete and others at TIAC will give you long lengthy
explanations, but, to quote Shakespeare, "It is a tale told by an idiot,
full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

The real truth of the matter is that the modern-day Internet could not
exist in its present form without the intervention of the Bonnie Sidhe-
the Wee Folk, those elves and fairies from the childrens' stories of yore.

Elves have existed in many forms: from the sprites and dryads that
inhabited the myths and legends of Romans and pre-historic European folk
to the tales of little green men and gremlins told by present-day World
War II bomber veterans, commercial pilots, and UFO watchers everywhere.

Much like human society, elven society has had to adapt itself to new
conditions over the centuries. Elf society has evolved at a rate parallel
to own. When we were primitive hunter-gatherers using bows and arrows to
fell deer, elves lived in the woods amongst our seperate tribes, as
tree-spirits. As we began to develop large cities and vast spreads of
civilization, elves moved with us, becoming the ghosts, trolls, and
goblins that inhabited old homes and sat beneath bridges and waited for
unwary passersby. More recently, elves have begun to inhabit the
Information Superhighway.

Elves are magical creatures that are not bound by the same physical laws
that we mere mortal folk are. Elves can travel at faster-than-light
speeds, and can transform their bodies from a corporeal state to an energy
state with a tweak of their noses. This makes them perfect hosts for the
sharing of information upon such a vast and complex network as the
Internet. Twenty years ago, computer scientists from several government
agencies and research centers, in cooperation with white magic adepts,
called forth the spirits of Elf-land. Through a series of magic
incantations and animal sacrifices, elven folk were transmuted into their
energy form and thrust into the wiring of the 'Net itself.

Elves are the ones responsible for seeing that your information gets from
point A to point B. How they do it? In a nutshell, it's magic. If you want
to make sure your system works more reliably, leave a plate of cookies and
a glass of milk out near your hubs, routers, and modems occasionally. The
elves like to be appreciated for their work.

-- 
  ____  _     ___  ____  ____  _        
 |  __)| \   (_  || ___)| () || |___   || "Free your mind,
(_  _) | |_  /   || \    \__ ||  _  \  ||  and your ass
 |_|   \___)(_()_||_|   (____||_| |_|  ||  will follow."